Helga Unbound
by Polkahotness
Summary: When Arnold finds his parents after years lost in the jungle, his relationship with Helga changes. As it evolves and as life throws challenges her way, Helga uses the journal Miles gifted her (and new ones when that one ran out of space) to document her every feeling. Will Arnold and Helga's relationship withstand the test of time; or will Helga become completely unbound? POST TJM
1. Reunions

It was a tearful goodbye to say to the Green Eyes who had been so much help in saving the lives of the blonde boy's parents who were more than grateful, but an even more tearful hello to the son they'd missed the life of for close to 10 years. The sleeping sickness had taken away that, but it hadn't taken away their future with him and they knew that this was the beginning of something they'd been looking forward to all their lives- the life of being a family with their son.

"Arnold, we've missed so much," Stella said tearfully while stroking her son's head and he smiled up at her and wiped away a tear from his eye.

"I know, but there is so much more to come," he said back to her with a grin. "You haven't missed out on everything. It's all just beginning."

"You're right, son," Miles said while patting Arnold's back lightly. "We haven't missed everything."

Helga stood awkwardly from where she shared her most precious kiss with Arnold just moments ago and reached up to rub the back of her neck as Gerald approached her.

"So..." he said with a sly smile and a raise of his brow. "You and Arnold, huh?"

Blush rose to her cheeks and she quickly shook her head as if the rosy pigment would disappear from the motion. She stuttered out, "I uh... we... uh..." her tone quickly changed as she shot him a glare and dug her feet into the ground. "Look Tall Hair Boy, I don't know what you THINK you saw, but it was NOTHING, okay? So just... just... back off, or you'll have to talk to-"

"Betsy and the five avengers," he finished for her while shaking his head. "Mm mm MM, Helga, I KNEW there was a reason you had all those videos of Arnold... you have it BAD for him, don't you?"

"I don't know WHAT you're talking about," she insisted but Gerald knew better and was onto Helga G. Pataki's cover.

"Sure, Helga. You have no idea what I'm talking about." he repeated with another shake of his head while turning away from her to watch as Arnold gave his parents another hug.

He pulled away from them as a thought pierced his memory and he looked at them in shock. "My friends... they're all still trapped back at the camp..." he murmured and his parents shared a look before returning back to Arnold.

"The camp? What camp?" Miles asked and Arnold looked back at Helga and Gerald before looking to his parents once more.

"La Sombra's camp. He took us all prisoner. If it wasn't for Helga and Gerald, we never would have escaped." He explained and Gerald chimed in from behind him.

"And Phoebe. Most of it was her idea. And Helga." He turned to look at her and she blushed once more while trying to hide it with little success.

"Well don't just stare at me," She said as everyone continued to look her way. "We have to get back to the camp and get them out. I'm sure they're going crazy in there. Imagine Simmons. Granola boy has probably LOST it by now."

Arnold shuttered at the idea of Mr. Simmons being locked up without any control of the situation and nodded his head in agreement to Helga's statement. "That's true. We have to get back to the camp and get everybody out. But I hardly remember how we got here, more or less how to get back..." his voice trailed off as he pulled out the worn journal he'd used to help them get there in the first place and Miles' face lit up at the sight of his journal that he'd forgotten all about.

"My journal?" he asked softly as Arnold turned to the map in the back and he smiled up at his father and nodded.

"It's how we found you. It led us right to you." He said and Miles reached out to take it from his son's hands and traced the pages with his fingertips lightly.

"I can't believe you have it... after all this time..." he murmured and Arnold nodded his head while Stella set a hand on Miles' lower back with a smile.

"It's all I had of you," Arnold explained sheepishly while reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. "I-I couldn't part with it. I'd read it most nights after we found it and it made me... it made me feel close to you. All your stories..." he shrugged his shoulders. "it gave me hope that I'd find you one day so I could return it to you."

"Oh Arnold," Miles said with tears welling in his eyes. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

Arnold smiled and looked down to his feet. "I've waited all this time," he said softly, "I'm just glad I was able to return it to you," he finished while looking up through his eyelashes at his father who looked down at him graciously and held the book in his hands.

"Well," Miles said while looking at Stella, "With the help of this map, I'm sure we'll be able to find La Sombra's camp. It shouldn't take too long with the help of the Green Eyes. They're masters at finding places in the jungle."

"And you can speak to them, right?" Helga asked while setting her hands on her hips and Stella chuckled.

"We may have been asleep for 10 years," She said, "But we haven't forgotten everything we know."

"C'mon," Miles said while gesturing for everyone to follow, "Let's ask around and see if we can't figure out where to begin our trek to finding your friends."

* * *

The walk was long to La Sombra's camp, longer than Gerald and Helga remembered, but for Arnold, there was so much to catch his parents up on that the journey seemed to go by quickly. He tried to remember everything of his past that would be important for his parents to know. His friends, the boarders, school, every last detail of his life that they had missed poured out of his mouth like a fountain and while he tried not to sound too excited, he couldn't help himself but to let it all out like word vomit he couldn't hold in any longer.

Gerald and Helga walked behind the three as they talked and while Gerald tried to make conversation, Helga wasn't having it.

"Pretty neat to see Arnold with his parents again, huh?" Gerald asked and Helga nodded her head.

"Yeah, great for Arnoldo," she muttered while kicking a rock incessantly and Gerald stared at her as she did so.

"I don't get it, Pataki," he said as they walked, "If you like Arnold so much, why aren't you happy for him?"

She turned to glare at Gerald. "I AM happy for him, ya dope." She responded and he held his hands up in surrender as they continued on the trail.

"Hey, hey, hey, it was just a question," he defended himself as Helga turned to focus her attention back on the rock she was kicking. "You just don't seem very happy."

"Well then you don't know me very well, do you, Geraldo?" She countered and he sighed while nodding his head.

"Guess I don't," he said as they continued trekking and he frowned to himself. "Helga, can I ask you something?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "I'd rather you not but I'm sure you're gonna ask anyway so why not?" She said and he asked away.

"What do you think things will be like when we get back? Back to Hillwood, that is?" Gerald asked and Helga stopped walking for a moment to take in his question.

She hadn't thought of this before now and the question took her off guard. "I-I..." she struggled with an answer as she stood in place, Gerald now stopping to watch her in confusion as to why she stopped. "I don't know..." her voice trailed off and Miles turned around to see that the two were behind and he walked towards the two to try and encourage them to keep up.

"You guys getting tired?" He asked and Gerald looked at Helga for a moment before nodding his head, deciding to cover for her after his thought-provoking question.

"Yeah, just a bit," he said before jogging to catch up to Stella and Arnold. "We'll be fine though!" He called out to Miles as he approached Helga, leaving the two alone behind the small group.

"Helga... right?" Miles asked while looking at Helga who was still in minor shock at the question Gerald had posed to her just moments ago.

She shook her head from the question and then stopped to briefly nod her head. "Ur... yeah. Helga G. Pataki." She introduced herself and Miles chuckled.

"Miles Shortman," he said, "Mind if I walk with you?" He asked and Helga looked around at her surroundings before shrugging her shoulders and picking up her pace to begin walking once more.

"Whatever floats your boat, Miles," she said and he nodded his head while walking beside her.

"Arnold was telling me about you and all of his friends back home," Miles said as they walked and this peeked her interest.

"Oh yeah?" She replied as she stomped on the ground beside him. "And what horrible stories did he have to tell about me?" She asked and Miles merely smiled and shook his head.

"None, actually. He just told us how brave you were to risk everything in helping him find us these passed few days." Miles explained and Helga's eyes widened.

"R-really? Like... nothing bad? Nothing about how I throw spitwads at him all day in class or how I call him football-head every day of his natural born life or how I prank him every chance I get?" She spit out without thinking and Miles raised a brow as he looked at her.

"Um... no. He didn't mention any of that. Is that true?" He asked and she looked away in embarrassment while continuing to walk.

"Uh..." she struggled before sighing and giving up entirely. "Yeah... it's true. But I have my reasons." She finalized and Miles nodded his head.

"Does he know that?" He asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I think he does. At least now anyway." She said and he smiled.

"I think he does too. It looked that way to me, at least." He said with a grin and Helga blushed remembering her onlookers at their very first mutual kiss and she couldn't help the smile that rushed to her lips without thinking.

"Yeah well what do YOU know, anyway," she scowled back at him in defense mode while trying to harbor some of her pride. "YOU've been asleep for 9 years. You don't even KNOW me, bucko."

Miles nodded his head as they approached the camp at last. "You're right, I don't," he said. "But I'd very much like to get to know you. Arnold speaks highly of you. And anyone in Arnold's life is someone I'd like to get to know."

This statement once again threw Helga off her guard as they made their way into the camp. Nobody in her life seemed to want to get to know her, not truly. So who was Miles to want to get to know her, anyway?

And speaking of people not wanting to get to know her...

"Helga!" Olga yelled as she rushed to her sister's side and enveloped her in a very one-sided hug. "Oh baby sister, I thought I'd never see you again!" She sobbed into her shoulder and Helga tried to breathe though Olga's grip on her was surprisingly very tight.

"Ol-Olga...Can't...breathe..." she managed and her sister let her go only for her to catch her breath and see none other than her own parents right beside her with unimpressed looks on their faces.

"Where have you BEEN, girl?" her father asked her with his hands on his hips. "We came all this way looking for you from that message you sent us."

She rolled her eyes and set her own hands on her hips. "Nice try _dad,_ but you aren't fooling me. I know you came here for Olga."

"So what if we did, huh?" He said rather bluntly. "You were missing and you had us... I don't know..."

"Worried," Miriam finished for her husband. "You had us worried."

"What were you even doing out there, anyway?" Bob asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

"Oh I don't know, just saving LIVES and all. The usual." She said and her parents exchanged a look before returning their eyes on their youngest daughter.

"Don't tell me. You were helping that orphan boy friend of yours," Bob said and Helga glared in his direction before narrowing her eyes at him.

"Not an _orphan boy_ , dad. We FOUND his parents. They're right over there," she explained while pointing to where Miles and Stella stood before Arnold's grandparents who were in shock at the two figures standing before them.

The older couple stared at Miles and Stella, both Gertie and Phil reaching out to their long-lost son who had finally returned to them. "Miles, is... is that you?" Phil asked and Miles nodded his head slowly, tears suddenly filling his eyes.

"Yeah, pop, it's me." he said while laughing through his tears and embracing his parents for the first time in 10 years. They were much older from the last time he'd seen them, but their embrace felt the same as it had all his life- warm and inviting. Loving.

They pulled away from each other, both Gertie and Phil's eyes gravitating towards Stella who stood silently beside Arnold with a smile on her face. "And Stella," Gertie said while shaking her head. "Why, I can't believe I'm seeing you. With my own three eyes!"

"Pookie, you have two eyes," Phil corrected her, but she ignored him and outstretched her arms.

"C'mmere and give me some sugar, sugar," she said and Stella welcomed the hug with open arms as Phil too leaned in to give her a hug that he'd been waiting to give her since she'd first disappeared from their lives completely.

Once they'd all exchanged hugs, Phil leaned down on one knee shakily and looked into his grandson's eyes and set a hand on his shoulder. "Well Shortman, you did it," he said with a smile. "You found your parents. I can't believe you did it, after all this time, we'd thought we'd lost them, but you, Arnold, you DID it, and we're so proud of you."

"Thanks Grandpa," Arnold said with a smile, before walking over to Helga and grabbing her from her parents who were talking to Olga anyway, and pulling her to their group. "But I couldn't have done any of this without Helga's help."

"Eleanor?" Gertie said with a raised brow. "You did all of this?"

Helga shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I HELPED and all, but Arnold was the brains behind it."

"Don't let me steal all the credit, Helga," He said while taking her hand in his. "You know that without you, none of this would have been possible."

She froze for a moment, the warmth of Arnold's hand in hers filling her growing body with electricity like she'd never felt before, other than when they'd kissed that is. It filled her up, from head to toe, and she took a moment to enjoy it before snatching her hand back and crossing her arms. "Yeah, well, don't say I never did anything for ya, Hair Boy," she said and Arnold smirked while looking up at her.

"I won't. I'm so grateful for what you've done, Helga."

"We're so grateful," Miles added while taking hold of his wife's hand before looking around at the camp that was now destroyed entirely, though parading around was the group of friends that had also helped in making sure Arnold was able to fulfill his dreams of finding his long-lost parents. "Not only to you, but to everyone who helped our Arnold out."

"Well," Helga said awkwardly after a moment of silence. "What do you say we blow this camp and head home? I can't stand being in this jungle any longer."

Stella and Miles shared a look before saying in unison, "Neither can we."

* * *

"Are you SURE we can't stop for food?" Harold whined and Mr. Simmons frowned while pointing to his book and shaking his head.

"I'm sure, Harold. We REALLY have to stick to the agenda this time around." He shuttered for a moment. "I'd hate to think of what ELSE could happen if we break it again..."

"Mr. Simmons?" Eugene asked from where he waddled up to him, now slightly less blown-up from his allergic reaction. "Can we stop at the hospital once we get home? My parents can pick me up there. They'll be so excited to see me!"

"Sure, Eugene... you should probably seek medical attention after your reaction..." Mr. Simmons took a breath before muttering to himself, "I hope you'll fit in the seat..."

"Are you sure you don't want to ride with us in the plane, baby sister?" Olga asked Helga from where she stood in the airport with her hands clasped in front of her chest. "It'll be fun to be with the whole family soaring in the sky together."

Helga crossed her arms over her chest while glancing over to Arnold who was talking with his parents. "I'm sure."

"Alright class," Mr. Simmons addressed the group before clearing his throat, "And parents," he added quickly as Miles, Stella, Gertie and Phil smiled in his direction, "While this has been... a very... special... experience for everyone... it's time to say goodbye to San Lorenzo and board the plane to take us all home. While I'm sorry most of you lost your luggage-"

"And cellphones," Rhonda muttered, though Mr. Simmons continued.

"-I'm just thankful that we're all together again and can have a safe trip home. So let's all get on board and-" But before he could finish, the kids rushed to the gate and began boarding the plane; eager to get home to Hillwood, though Arnold and his parents remained behind the group, Helga staying with them.

"Aren't you coming?" She asked Arnold and he nodded his head.

"Of course, Helga. Where else would we go?" He asked with a smile and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Well I don't know," she said while looking down at her feet. "I guess, I guess I was just worried you'd stay... here or something. With your parents."

Arnold reached out to set a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. "I'm coming back with you. With all of you," he said reassuringly and she looked up to meet his eyes. "Don't worry."

"Worry?" She repeated before pushing herself away from him as he dropped his hand from her shoulder. "Pssh, I'm not WORRIED, Criminy, why would I be WORRIED about YOU football-head?"

Arnold shrugged his shoulders. "I kind of figured-"

"Well you figured-"

"Helga, stop," he interrupted her. "I know you don't mean what you're about to say, okay? So just... just stop, okay? Let's board the plane, alright?" He said before walking passed her with his parents leaving Helga behind to think about his words.

She thought about them all the way from the gate to the plane and in her seat as the takeoff ensued. But it was on the ride back to Hillwood that another thought entered her mind, the thought of the question that Gerald had asked her back on the trek to La Sombra's camp.

 _What do you think things will be like when we get back? Back to Hillwood, that is?_ He had asked, and the answer haunted her. Would things be different? Would Arnold treat her differently now that he knew her secret? And even more, would SHE be different now that her secret was out in the open for all the world to see? After all, it wasn't just Arnold who knew anymore, his parents, even Gerald knew, and that meant soon the whole class would know. Would they be an item? Would they become what Helga had always dreamed they would be?

The thoughts haunted her during the entire trip back to Hillwood, even as they left the plane and took the bus back to school and then the bus back to the beeper store where her family had been living since they took the house away after her parents lost most of their money.

What WOULD happen between Arnold and Helga?

Who knew? Helga supposed that only time would tell.

* * *

 _ **This is the start of a fanfic that i've been holding off writing until TJM premiered and I'm SO EXCITED to finally be writing it! It's gonna be a long journey, so hold on to the seat of your pants because we are in for a shortaki ride of a lifetime! this fic is going to be great so please follow, favorite and most importantly REVIEW so i know what you think so far! I can't wait to show you guys the next chapter!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	2. School Days

Living in the beeper emporium was exhausting for Helga. Not only was the place not equipped with beds to sleep on so Helga had to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, but there wasn't a kitchen so she often found herself trying to find spare change so she could stop at the gas station and grab some grub before making her way to PS 118.

And PS118 wasn't any less exhausting for her.

She trudged down the hallway with Phoebe each day, avoiding Arnold, even though he tried his best to find her through the crowded halls.

"I just can't seem to avoid the kid, you know?" She told Phoebe one day as they made their way to the sixth grade classroom.

"It certainly doesn't help that we're all in the same class," Phoebe commented with a nod of her head as she adjusted her backpack on her shoulders.

"You got THAT right," Helga said as she made her way to the drinking fountain and began sipping from the spigot.

"However," Phoebe began as Helga continued to drink from the fountain, "what I don't understand is why you're trying to avoid Arnold in the first place."

Helga spat out her water and stood up straight to wipe her face from the water she'd spit on herself and took a deep breath. "I'm just... it's just..." she sighed. "It's complicated."

"What's so complicated about your feelings for Arnold? He clearly has developed feelings for you since our experience in San Lorenzo." Phoebe stated and Helga spun around to glare at Phoebe.

"Oh yeah? And what makes you say THAT?" She demanded, though Phoebe refused to back down from her friend this time around, her confidence glaring.

"Someone who shares a kiss with another often doesn't fake returning feelings for that other person." Phoebe said and Helga's eyes widened as she hadn't told even her best friend about that kiss.

"Who told you that?" She demanded and Phoebe shrugged her shoulders.

"I suppose the only other person who was there to witness it."

Helga's eyes narrowed. "Gerald..." she hissed and Phoebe reached up to set a hand on her best friend's shoulder.

"Try not to be cross with Gerald, Helga. He's only concerned for his best friend, as I am for mine." She explained, though Helga wasn't having her friend's explanation.

"You're CONCERNED for me? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?" Helga asked and Phoebe looked up at Helga with soft eyes.

"You aren't acting like yourself, or rather, you're acting too much like yourself. Given the circumstances."

Helga turned away from the fountain and began stomping her way down the hall towards their classroom. "Circumstances?" She asked from over her shoulder.

Phoebe jogged to catch up with her long-legged friend. "You know, since Arnold admitted to returning feelings for you."

"Pssh," Helga sounded with her lips, "He didn't admit ANYTHING to me, Pheebs."

"I feel as though a kiss speaks louder than words, Helga." Phoebe said as they entered the classroom at last and Helga rolled her eyes as they made their way to their appropriate desks.

"Maybe it does, but if it DID don't you think he'd be trying just a BIT harder?" Helga countered and it was Phoebe's turn to cross her arms over her chest and give her friend a look.

"Perhaps it's you who isn't trying hard enough, don't you think?" She asked and Helga opened her mouth to answer but was caught off guard by another person from just behind her.

"Hi Helga," Arnold said and she spun around to see him facing her and her heart immediately began to speed up inside her chest.

"A-Arnold," she stuttered out with wide eyes. "What... what are YOU doing here?" She asked and Arnold raised his brow at her.

"We're kind of in the same class you know," he said with a half-lidded gaze and her heart stopped for a moment as she beat herself up inwardly at her stupid response.

 _Doi, Helga,_ she thought, _what kind of question was THAT?! Think of a better response, Helga ole' girl, think!_

"Uh... well, YEAH, I knew that, obviously." She said with a roll of her eyes. "What do YOU want anyway?"

Arnold looked down at his feet for a moment as his hands went to hide behind his back. "I guess I was, well, I was wondering if you uh... if you wanted to be partners for this week's history project."

Helga raised a brow as her eyes widened. "History project? Class hasn't even STARTED, Hair Boy, how do you even KNOW that?"

Arnold looked up and pointed over to the chalkboard. "It's up on the board," He said and Helga moved to see the words, _Pick your partners for this week's history project_ written up on the board before her.

"Huh. Well would you look at that," She mused as Arnold looked at her expectantly.

"So? What do you say?" Arnold asked again and Helga turned to look at her usual partner for such projects, Phoebe, who nodded her head slightly, encouraging her friend to accept Arnold's request.

Still unconvinced but remembering what Phoebe had said earlier about not trying hard enough, Helga nodded her head slowly. "S-sure, Arnoldo, I'll be your partner. But on one condition."

"What's that?" He asked and Helga glanced around her surroundings before saying her terms and conditions.

"We have to work on the project at your place."

Arnold smiled and nodded his head. "Sounds like a deal."

* * *

Arnold sat on the phone with his best friend. "I don't know what came over me, Gerald. I just had to ask her."

"Well I must say, man, I feel a little hurt, but I'm pretty stoked to be working with Phoebe." His friend said from the other line and Arnold smiled.

"I figured you might be. You two have been pretty close since San Lorenzo." He noted and Gerald adjusted the phone from one hand to the other.

"I'll say. And I figure that this project will only bring us closer together. At least, that's what I'm hoping. I'm guessing that's what you're thinking with Helga?" He pressed and Arnold blushed though Gerald couldn't see- something he was happy about the mask of a phone call.

"Honestly, I'm just hoping she'll open up with me a little more," he said while reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. "Helga was... she was a different person on that trip, you know? And now that we're back here, she's like... it's like nothing has changed and it... it bothers me."

"Why though?" Gerald asked. "Does it bother you because you LIKE her like her?" Arnold thought about this for a moment before swallowing hard and nodding his head.

"Yeah, Gerald. I uh... I think I do."

"Mm mm MM," Gerald hummed over the phone, "I KNEW that kiss wasn't a fluke," he said and Arnold sat up straight at his words in shock at his presumption.

"You thought my kissing Helga was a fluke?" Arnold questioned and Gerald sighed.

"I don't know, man, I thought it was SOMETHING, but I figured it was all, in the heat of the moment or something." He said and Arnold shook his head vigorously.

"No, Gerald, we claimed it was heat of the moment last time this all happened at the FTi building and I'm not letting that happen again. This was... this was _real_ and I'm sure of it." Arnold said, positive of his statement and Gerald agreed.

"Alright, Arnold. Whatever you say, man." Gerald took a deep breath before letting it out and changing topics a bit. "So what are you gonna do to try and get her to open up to you? You gonna talk to her about everything that happened or what?"

"No," Arnold responded, "I don't think that will work with her, you know? I think... I think I'll have to _show_ her that I'm serious about what happened. She's been avoiding me a lot lately and I think it's because she's scared I didn't mean what happened... the kiss and all. But I did. And I've got to show her."

"Okay..." Gerald's voice trailed off for a moment before he picked back up again. "So how are you gonna do THAT?"

"I'm not sure yet... but I know it starts with letting her feel welcome in my house and maybe with my parents. Dad said he had a moment with her when we were walking to the camp. I think he really likes her."

Gerald seemed surprised by this. "LIKES her? Geez, who likes Helga G. Pataki?" He paused for a moment before realizing what he said and backed up. "Besides you, that is."

"She's really not that bad, Gerald. If you got to know her, you'd see her the way I see her." Arnold explained but Gerald didn't want that kind of relationship with Helga.

"God, I hope not." He said and Arnold frowned.

"Not like that, Gerald." Arnold said and Gerald laughed.

"I know, man, I'm just messing with you," Gerald spoke mid-laughter before stopping his laughter and continuing talking. "Anyway, so what's your gameplan for tonight? She's coming over tonight, right?"

"Yeah, everyday this week. That was our deal." Arnold explained and Gerald seemed surprised by this.

"Your deal? What deal?"

Arnold sighed. "She said she'd only be my partner if we could meet at my house for the project. I think something is wrong with her place."

"You haven't heard?" Gerald asked and Arnold raised his brow.

"Heard what?" He asked and Gerald tsked his tongue into the reciever.

"Man, you ARE dense. The Patakis went BROKE, dude. They lost their money in the beeper empire. Word from fuzzy slippers is they're living out of the emporium now."

Arnold's eyes went wide at this information as he went silent on his end of the phone. After a moment of silence, Gerald spoke up once more.

"Arnold? You still there, man?"

Arnold cleared his throat and nodded his head. "Uh, yeah, yeah I'm still here. Wow, I uh... I didn't know that."

"Yeah. Truly pathetic." He said and Arnold frowned.

"I'd say sad is more like it. Poor Helga..."

"All I say is that WHATEVER you do, DON'T bring that up. Let her bring it up herself. THAT'S the key to opening Helga up." Gerald sounded confident in his idea and Arnold opened up his ears as he continued talking. "You get her to open up about her life, and that'll be the way to get inside Helga's head like you want to."

"More like her heart..." Arnold mumbled, but Gerald didn't catch his friend's quiet words.

"You say something?" Gerald asked and Arnold shook his head.

"Just that I uh... I gotta go. Helga will be here any minute." He said and Gerald understood and said his goodbyes.

"Alright man. Remember what I told you. Don't. Say. ANYTHING about what I told you, okay? Let her tell you HERSELF, alright?" Gerald advised and Arnold nodded his head as a knock came from his door.

"Alright, alright, Gerald. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later okay? Bye," But he hung up before his friend could say goodbye back. Quickly, he moved to the door and opened it up to reveal his dad and Helga standing in the doorway, a smile on his father's face and a frown on Helga's.

"I brought a friend," Miles said and Helga crossed her arms.

"Hardly," she grumbled though Miles and Arnold both ignored her.

"Come on in, Helga," Arnold said while gesturing for her to enter and she did so quickly while dropping her bag on the floor beside his bed.

"I'll leave you two be," Miles said before stopping mid-way and smiling inside the doorway, "be good," he said with a wink before closing the door and Helga rolled her eyes.

"Parents, huh?" She said and Arnold smirked.

"It's nice to have them here," He said and Helga shrugged.

"Well at least you have GOOD ones," she said while taking a seat on his bed and crossing her legs.

"I do. I'm really lucky," Arnold said before taking a seat next to her, making Helga's heart flutter slightly at their close proximity to one another. "So how are you?" He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Fine I guess. You?" She asked and Arnold shrugged back at her.

"Same, I suppose. Nothing too exciting going on here."

Helga raised her brow. "You mean to say life hasn't been crazy exciting for you since your parents have been home?"

Arnold pulled his legs up to cross them like Helga's and held his legs in place. "I mean, things have been different, but I wouldn't say exciting. Just... really different."

"How so?" She asked and he smiled over to her.

"It's just really cool to have parents for once in my life. When you go your entire life without parents, having them is something really special." He explained and Helga nodded her head before turning away from him to stare out into space.

"Wish I could say the same. I'd do anything to get away from my parents." She said and Arnold nodded his head.

"Well, you know, if you ever want to get away, you're always welcome here," He offered shakily with a slight hue of red hinting in his cheeks. "If you want that is."

Helga continued to stare out into nothing in particular. "That might be...nice." She said softly, her guard slowly falling away as she ignored her defense mechanisms that were trying to fight her way to the surface.

"You think so?" Arnold asked and Helga quickly shook her head to bring herself back into reality and frowned.

"I mean, if you think THAT sort of thing would be NICE. To be around a bunch of STRANGERS in a STRANGE house and all." Helga retorted and Arnold chuckled.

"Well Helga, to be fair, it isn't like this house is all that strange to you. You've been here quite a bit throughout our lives." Arnold said while continuing to look at her, noticing the way her blonde hair stuck out slightly from her pigtails; her bow atop her head still the bright shade of pink it had always been ever since he could remember. She smelled of vanilla, the soft scent drifting over to him from where he sat beside her. He was noticing so many things about her now, ever since their trip to the jungle, Helga seemed like a different person to him and he couldn't shake the way he felt about her since they'd returned home- no matter how hard he tried.

Granted, he hadn't tried very hard.

He didn't want to.

"Fair enough, football-for-brains," Helga said with a sly smirk before reaching for her backpack and pulling it up onto the bed with the two of them. "So what do you want to work on first? The paper? Or the research?"

"Honestly? I thought we could hangout a bit first." Arnold boldly stated and Helga turned to stare at him.

"Hangout?" She repeated and he nodded his head.

"Yeah. Dinner is going to be ready pretty soon and I thought you might want to join us. If you're hungry that is."

"Hungry?" She asked, her stomach giving out a grumble for an answer and Helga fought back the smile trying to itch its way onto her face. After a beat, she finally sighed and nodded her head. "You know what? I'm feeling generous today. I'll take you up on your dinner offer."

Arnold perked up from where he sat. "Really?" He asked.

"Really." Helga answered. "Besides, I'm starved."

* * *

"So the boarders aren't joining us because...?" Helga asked as she sat at the table with Arnold and Miles as Stella finished getting food ready in the kitchen and she came back in with a casserole and shrugged her shoulders.

"They already ate. They're still pretty stuck to their schedule of when they eat." Stella explained.

"And you guys don't eat with them?" Helga asked as Stella set the casserole on the table and Miles smiled in her direction.

"Once a week, we like to eat as a family. It's something we've missed out on for so long that we decided to make it a tradition until we get our own place." Miles said and Helga nodded her head.

"That's... cool. I guess." She said, unsure as to how to handle such a unique tradition that she was unfamiliar with. Sure, her parents and her usually shared meals together, at least when Olga was around, but it was never this nice or this... quiet and this oriented around other people besides Olga. She didn't know what to do with herself and she found herself fidgeting constantly as the dinner continued.

"Well I kinda feel like an intruder here," Helga admitted while playing with a nearby fork and Stella shook her head as she took a seat at the table.

"Nonsense, you're always welcome, even to our family meals," she said warmly while sharing a look with Arnold from across the table.

"Thanks, I uh... I don't know what else to say," Helga said and Miles smiled while shaking his head.

"You don't have to say anything else. Just sit with us and enjoy!" He said while taking a scoop of the casserole and placing it on his plate before handing the spoon to Helga. "After you, milady."

Shakily, Helga reached out and took the spoon from Miles and scooped up some of the casserole and put some on her plate before transferring the spoon to Arnold's waiting hand. Once everyone had some of the casserole, Stella began passing around the bowl of vegetables before beginning her interrogation, or rather, her introduction to that of Helga G. Pataki.

"So Helga, why don't you tell us about yourself." She said and Helga looked up from her plate while taking the bowl of veggies and putting some onto her plate.

"Oh, there's uh... there's not much to tell." She said before Arnold chimed in.

"That's not true, Helga. There's lots to tell about you."

Helga turned and narrowed her eyes in his direction, her front coming up once again to protect herself. "Oh yeah? And just what would THAT be, smart guy?"

Arnold's parents shared a look, though Arnold was unphased by Helga's harsh tone. "You're very smart. You get some of the best grades in our class. She scored nearly a perfect score on our aptitude test in the fourth grade. Even better than her sister."

"You have a sister?" Miles asked while taking a bite of his food. "How old is she?"

Helga sighed, the conversation already turning to that of Olga. "23. She's off back in Alaska doing something with children or something. Or maybe she's back at college. It's hard to keep track."

"Oh? Why's that?" Stella asked and Helga frowned.

"Because she's practically perfect in every way. Just like Mary stinkin' Poppins." Helga grumbled while taking a bite of her own food and chewing with disdain at the subject.

Miles and Stella exchanged a look before Arnold cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. "Helga's also a great writer. She's even been published."

"Wow," Miles exclaimed, "that's quite a feat especially for someone your age! What did you have published?"

Helga shrugged her shoulders. "Just a stupid poem. It wasn't that exciting," she said while reaching up to scratch her head and Arnold begged to disagree.

"That's not true. It was a big deal in our school. Our teacher even read the poem in front of the whole class. I think it was the best poem I've ever heard." He said and Helga looked up from her plate to turn and look over at him.

"You really thought that?" She asked and he nodded his head.

"Yes, Helga. I really did. You're very talented." He said and Miles turned to face Helga.

"So you're into writing. Do you ever journal?" He asked and Helga shook her head, becoming more open to talking the more they conversationalized.

"Not really," Helga admitted, "I mostly just write stories and poems. I've never tried journaling. I don't have much to say, I guess."

"I think it's very therapeutic," Miles said. "You can really dig deep into yourself and get out some feelings you didn't know you had in you. Not to mention it's fun to look back and see how you were feeling once years have passed. It's a great way to collect memories. You should try it some time."

Helga shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe I'll try it some time. If I ever find the right journal, I 'spose."

The rest of the dinner went well, all things considered. Miles and Stella were gracious hosts and were genuinely interested in Helga which was something she had never been used to. Usually dinners were so focused around Olga that Helga hardly got a word in edgewise but this dinner was completely different. She soon found herself talking more and more and soon she was even laughing- something she hadn't done in a long time. It seemed that she felt comfortable around Arnold's parents, something she didn't feel around most adults and the feeling was a strange one indeed.

At the end of the dinner, Arnold and Helga worked on their project without guards up, nothing serious coming up in topics beside that of their project. It was nice to be around someone and feel open, especially with Arnold. Why had she been avoiding him for so long when it felt so good to be around him? Could it be like this at school too? And further more, would she ever allow it to be like this at school? There were certain appearances she had to keep up after all, and in that case, how could anything ever be normal?

Helga went home to the beeper emporium feeling lighter than she'd ever felt before knowing she could go back to the boarding house tomorrow after school. Maybe things could be normal, at least in the boarding house. Maybe it could be their little secret. Maybe... just maybe.

* * *

 _ **Shoutout for the AWESOME cover thanks to MSID (MarySueIsDead on fanfiction, who is not ONLY an amazing artist, but also an amazing fanfiction writer so go check out some of her fics! She's someone I admire greatly and one of my truly favorite fanfiction writers of all time not to mention an amazing friend -insert big heart here-) I absolutely love it!**_

 _ **having a lot of fun writing this and i hope you're having a lot of fun reading this as well. much more is to come, we are just getting started so hang on for the ride folks! make sure to leave me a REVIEW and let me know what you think!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	3. Report Work

"Arnold... Beacon of my existence, light of my life, adoration of my soul, how you escape me and yet how you are so near to me. I can feel us growing close and somehow I feel scared at the thought of us becoming something that I've always wanted. One. One person held together by two. How I long for that. How I desire for us to be just that... so why am I so stupidly afraid? Why am I so frightened to be myself in front of you after all we've been through? We've conquered La Sombra together. We've saved your parents together. We've shared the sweetest and purest of kisses together so WHY oh WHY am I so confused about our relationship? WHY I beg you, you sweet, football-headed weirdo... WHY?!" Helga exclaimed from inside her shrine where she hid before school started when a voice startled her out of her monologue.

"Helga?" Phoebe squeaked from behind her. "Are you ready to walk to school?" She asked and Helga spun around to face her friend with wide eyes.

"How'd YOU get in here?" She asked and Phoebe pointed a thumb over her shoulder.

"The door. Helga, I've been in here before. Are you alright?"

Helga stuck her worn locket back into her shirt and sighed before grabbing her backpack from the floor and swinging it over her shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go." She said as they headed out of the basement and wandered into the light of day to make their way to the inside of the beeper emporium where Bob and Miriam were setting up a new display for beepers.

"Hey, hey, hey," Bob said as they headed for the door, "Where are you headed, little lady?"

Helga sighed and rolled her eyes. "School. AGAIN, _dad_. That's usually where I head at 7:15 in the morning, you know."

"Oh, right," he said before waving his hand at her. "Well don't let me stop you. Go learn or something. But come right back. You're in charge of register when you get back."

Helga reached up to scratch at her head. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen tonight, Bob."

"And just why not?" He demanded and Helga reached up to cross her arms over her chest.

"Because I have a project to work on at... at somebody's house." Helga explained as Phoebe eyed her from where she stood beside her.

"Oh you do now? Well... FINE then. I guess I'll just have to do all the work by myself. Criminy! What good is having a kid when you can't even help out your old man in the beeper business, huh?" He muttered to himself as the two kids walked out of the emporium and into the sunlight of morning on the Hillwood streets.

"So how are things going with yours and Arnold's project?" Phoebe asked and Helga eluded the question by asking one of her own.

"I think a better question is how is yours and Gerald's going? You two have been practically attached at the hip since San Lorenzo." She noted and Phoebe blushed while looking forward at the street to see the upcoming corner where they knew they'd run into Arnold and Gerald any minute now.

"I wouldn't say that, Helga. We've simply been spending more time together is all. Similar to you and Arnold." Phoebe explained but Helga shook her head.

"Arnold and I haven't been spending TIME together, Pheebs. We've just been stuck on a project together. That's all." Helga said and Phoebe sighed.

"But wouldn't you like to spend more time with Arnold? Helga, you know you can be honest with me."

As they approached the corner, Helga spit out her words as fast as she could before Arnold could interrupt them. "I guess I would but I don't know how to do that just yet. I'm still trying to figure out where we stand."

"Well maybe you should ask him," Phoebe said as they rounded the corner to meet Arnold and Gerald who were already waiting for them, Gerald outstretching a hand for Phoebe to take as they walked across the street together leaving Arnold and Helga behind on the sidewalk.

Helga glanced over to Arnold who looked up at her expectantly with a smile. "Good morning, Helga."

She looked down at him and frowned. "Yeah, what's it to you?" She said and he offered his hand to her though she turned her head and instead walked forward across the street as he hurried to catch up to her.

"Are you alright?" He asked and she instead kept her gaze forward ignoring him.

"Yeah, Arnoldo, I'm fine." She responded as he continued to try and match her pace.

"Then why do you keep trying to ignore me? I thought after last night-"

She interrupted him by turning around once they reached the next sidewalk and scowling down at him. "What? That I'd be all chummy with you now since I bonded with you and your parents? Newsflash, that was me trying to impress your parents, okay? And oh! Update! Mission accomplished."

"But why bother trying to impress my parents if you didn't care about me? I know you care about me." Arnold said with a smile and Helga upturned her head and continued walking towards PS118.

"So what if I care about you? They're just feelings." She mumbled, though Arnold heard every word.

"You're still coming over tonight, aren't you?" Arnold asked and Helga sighed while nodding her head.

"Doi, I'm coming over. Part of our deal, remember, paste-for-brains?"

"Of course I remember," Arnold said with a grin, "How could I forget?"

"I don't know, " She said as they made their way up the steps of PS118, "I try not to ask you any questions."

"Last I noticed, you try to avoid me. Since San Lorenzo that is."

This made Helga stop in her tracks as the walked in the hallway and she turned slowly to face him and frowned. He'd noticed? He'd noticed that she had been trying to avoid him because she was afraid of what they'd become since their kiss? She didn't think he'd notice much of anything being as he was denser than osmium- the densest element known to man.

Helga struggled to find words to reply to him but thankfully the bell rang saving her from any embarrassment that her mouth would come up with. "I uh... we have to get to class," she muttered and then took off for their classroom, Arnold quick to follow.

But Arnold knew. He knew what Helga was thinking even though he was much less than a mind-reader. He knew that she was avoiding him because she couldn't face what they were becoming since their kiss in the jungle those months back. And he knew that there had to be a way to get inside Helga's head to try and get the Helga he knew back out again.

* * *

Helga sat on Arnold's bed, her legs swinging to and fro as they hung off the side. Arnold sat on the floor just corner to her, his nose stuck in a book as they researched for their history project. The room had been awfully quiet since they'd gotten there after school, and Helga preferred it that way as it meant she didn't have to explain anything or act a certain way- she could just exist on her own terms with her notebook, writing poetry rather than actually doing anything of real importance.

Not that Arnold knew that.

All was silent until Arnold cleared his throat and turned around to look up at her.

"Hey Helga?" He said and she looked up startled at the sudden noise in the air.

"Uh... yeah?" She responded while pulling her notebook close to her chest as if he could see any of the love-induced words she had written down.

"I think we should uh... talk." He said and Helga raised a brow at him while loosening her grip on her notebook.

"We should? I mean... what the heck do WE have to talk about besides this STUPID project?" She thundered and Arnold chewed on his lip for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

"I think we should talk about San Lorenzo." He finally got out and Helga's eyes widened as she let go of her notebook entirely letting it fall into her lap as her arms remained in place holding onto air before she shook her head and scowled in his direction.

"What's there to talk to about, huh? We went there, found your parents, and came back. Wham bam, thank you ma'am. Done talking. How's about that research?" She tried, but Arnold wasn't having it.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Arnold said while standing up from the floor and moving to sit beside Helga on the bed at a semi-close proximity. She could feel her nerves heightening at this simple movement and she tried not to skooch away from him despite her better judgment.

"Well what is there left to talk about?" The blonde girl asked through nervous laughter, "I mean, we kinda covered the basics don't you think?"

Arnold shook his head slowly, a smile on his face as he did so. "I think you're missing something in between there."

Helga frowned, knowing just where he was headed, but played dumb anyway. "I-I don't know what you're talking about football-head."

"I think you do."

"I think I don't."

Arnold sighed, becoming frustrated with Helga's antics and decided to just come out with it. "I think we should talk about the kiss."

Helga swallowed hard, her throat closing in on her like any time she would eat strawberries. She took a shaky breath, "Oh, you meant about THAT," she said and Arnold nodded his head while retreating his look down to his lap where his hands were carefully clasped.

"It's just that," he began, "I _thought_ that I had been pretty clear about how I felt back there in San Lorenzo about you... but it seems like maybe you still don't know or you're... you're still hiding from me that you _do_ know. And I can't figure out why you're still being so mean to me."

Helga turned to look away from Arnold and instead stare down at the creases of his pillow where he'd slept just the night before. She focused on those creases rather than the feelings brewing inside of her as Arnold glanced away from his hands to gaze over at Helga once more in confusion. "Helga?" He asked and she snapped her head around to look at him once more.

"Remind me again just how it is you feel? Exactly?" She spoke at last and Arnold eyed her suspiciously.

"You really don't know?" He asked and she narrowed her eyes at him while putting her hands on her hips.

"Criminy! If I were asking do you think I'd know?" She retorted and he pursed his lips before nodding his head as if understanding completely.

"Alright..." he said slowly before looking down at his hands again and sighing as if to relieve himself of any tension he'd built up in his small system. "It's just that... well... after everything that happened back there and after everything you did to help me find my parents... I really realized that you... that I..."

"Yes..." Helga dragged out waiting for the words she'd been hanging on since he'd begun.

Arnold moved to look over at Helga, his eyes locking with hers as he stared over at her. "That I like you. A lot. I... _like_ you like you."

A smile spread across her face as he spoke the words she'd been longing to officially hear but her smile dropped when Arnold continued his sentence. "I just can't figure out why it is that you're still being so mean to me when we clearly feel the same way about each other."

Helga's brow raised as she realized just what he had said and just how meanly she'd been treating him since they'd returned. Not letting him hold her hand and not letting him be the nice guy that he was towards her. Not letting herself be true to him like she'd always longed to be and not letting her true self come out like it was meant to be once finally with Arnold. A wave of emotions hit her like a ton of bricks and she stayed silent on the bed beside him as she tried to sort through them in her brain.

"Helga?" Arnold asked and she turned to look at him and opened her mouth but no matter how hard she tried, words wouldn't come out.

"Helga? Helga?" A voice asked and she shook her head to wake up from where she'd clearly dozed off at her desk in class.

It was Phoebe who was standing over her, staring down at her and shaking her just so gently. "Helga?" She asked again and Helga moved to wipe some drool from her face before sitting up straight in the desk.

"What?" She snapped at her friend and Phoebe merely shook it off and smiled down at her.

"It's time for lunch."

Had it really all been a dream? A sweet, wonderful dream? A dream where Arnold finally confessed his feelings point blank to Helga in the way she'd always dreamed? It certainly had brought food for thought to the table. She'd been nothing but mean to Arnold since they'd come home from San Lorenzo and as she ate with Phoebe, Gerald and Arnold, she couldn't help but stare at him and wonder just what the dream had been trying to tell her. Should she be nicer to him? Was it finally time to quit the act and just be herself around the boy of her dreams who obviously liked her back, or was her pride too strong to allow her to actually cut the crap and let her be the person she knew she was on the inside, and that Arnold clearly knew too?

* * *

The remainder of class went by quickly as Helga stared at the clock secretly looking forward to going back to the boarding house and working with Arnold on their project. As much as she pretended to hate being around him, she knew that she wanted to find a way to be herself around him and figure out where they stood when it came to their relationship. Her dream had been fulfilling, but it wasn't the real deal. She knew that she had to figure out where they were when it came to their relationship.

That is, IF they still had a relationship.

It was hard to tell when she was so focused on keeping up her appearance. But that all had to change, and it had to change fast.

What even was her appearance anymore? Why did she care so much? It was like being at the boarding house was being in another world entirely. When she was there, her guard could come down and she could just simply be, rather than when she was in school where she knew she had to be the bully that was expected of her. The whole thing made her brain spin inside her head like a merry go round and she found herself becoming dizzy at the simple thought of it anytime it entered her head.

So when the final bell rang, she was happy to leave school and go with Arnold to his house and escape the world that felt fake to her now; the world that felt unreal to her now that she had this secret with Arnold that she couldn't tell anyone. A secret that would have to remain until she could figure out the ins and outs of it.

But how would she do that?

And what would happen when this project was over? What would she do then?

"You ready to do this thing?" Helga asked Arnold who was surprised she had actually come to him at his desk this time around.

He picked up his blue backpack and nodded his head with a smile on his face. "Of course. Would you like me to carry your books for you?"

Helga looked around at the eyes peering in her direction and she quickly shook her head while scowling in his direction. "Criminy, we're partners, not PARTNERS, okay? I can carry my books just fine, alright?"

 _Be nice, Helga, you have to BE NICE,_ Helga reminded herself, the memory of her dream coming to the front of her mind as Arnold smiled up at her from his desk.

"Okay, Helga, I was just asking," He said while standing up from his desk and leading the way to outside where they'd walk the few blocks to his house where her safe haven awaited.

 _Just a few more blocks, Helga, you can do this, just be quiet and nothing mean can come out of your face_ she encouraged herself as they walked in silence down the street, much to Arnold's dismay.

He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her it was okay to talk to him and that he understood why she was acting the way she was acting, but he knew she wouldn't hear it. Gerald was right when he said that she had to tell him herself, that's just the way Helga worked. She was a no-nonsense kind of girl.

As they approached the boarding house, Arnold reached for the door and held it open for Helga as she turned to smile in his direction forcing out a 'thank you' leaving Arnold stunned in her wake, but followed behind.

"Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm home!" Arnold called out and a pair of figures came out of the living room to greet the two kids with smiles on their faces.

"Arnold!" Stella and Miles called out while reaching out to hug him and then step back to smile in Helga's direction.

"Helga," Miles said with a smile. "Great to see you again. Back for more research on your project or for more food?"

Helga nodded her head and smiled. "Couldn't stay away I guess," she responded and they chuckled at her response.

"Well you're always welcome here," Stella said. "Don't let us stop you two. Will you be joining us for dinner?"

Helga glanced over to Arnold who was nodding his head in encouragement. "Well," Helga said, "I guess I could stay... if it isn't too much trouble for you guys..."

"Nonsense!" Stella boasted, "It's no trouble at all. I'll just let Gertie know we're having an extra person for dinner tonight. Why don't you both head up to Arnold's room and get working on your project until it's ready, okay?"

"Alright," Arnold said while gesturing for Helga to follow him up the stairs and to his room where he promptly shut the door and headed for his computer to turn it on so they could begin on their project. "I'm really glad you'll be staying for dinner again. Although, you'll have to deal with the boarders, so I apologize in advance for any trouble they might cause you."

"Eh, it's nothing compared to MY family," Helga replied while heading to sit on Arnold's couch and take out her notebook from her backpack. "You'd never survive an evening with THEM."

"So how do you?" He asked and Helga scoffed.

"Years of practice."

Arnold smirked while blurting out his next statement, this thoughts not catching up with his mouth before he could take back the words. "Has anything changed since moving out of your house?"

Immediately Helga froze where she sat and turned to look at him, trying to keep her composure while Arnold spun around in his chair and held his hands up in surrender, he spoke quickly to try and smooth over the situation "I'm so sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to say that, I just-"

"It's fine," Helga said to his surprise, "I knew people would figure it out eventually. I mean, it isn't like the beeper business is BOOMING or anything."

Arnold nodded his head slowly, treading the newfound waters carefully. "So how has it been? Living there?"

Helga shrugged her shoulders, trying to remain calm and keep her pride at bay. "Nothing different than how it USED to be I guess. Although it's kinda nice not to have trophies LOOMING over me night and day."

"Oh?" Arnold mused. "They packed away Olga's trophies?"

Helga nodded her head while turning her notebook to a fresh sheet of paper. "They kinda had to. There isn't much room for anything in the emporium. Even though they lugged the piano with just for _Ol_ ga's occasional visits. Kinda funny seeing a piano in the store."

"Is anything selling?" Arnold asked and Helga sighed while picking up a pen and beginning to doodle hearts in the margin of the page.

"Not really," She responded, her eyes focused downward on the page in front of her, "It isn't like anyone needs BEEPERS anymore. The oaf hasn't figured out that cellphones are the golden age of technology these days."

"And you've tried to tell him?" Arnold asked and Helga scoffed while rolling her eyes.

"Ha, right, like he'd listen to ME, the daughter he can't even figure out the NAME of on most days. Yeah, right."

"That's really sad, Helga," Arnold said with a frown and Helga shrugged her shoulders unphased by this dreary part of her life that had become the norm since she had been a toddler.

"It is what it is," she said before twisting around to face Arnold more head on and looking at him directly. "Look, I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Okay," Arnold responded while setting his hands in his lap and giving her his full attention. "What's that?"

Helga took a breath and let her notebook rest in her lap while setting her pen down and trying to focus on her words as they came out of her mouth. "See, the thing is, I was thinking in class today about... about STUFF, and I think... well I figured... that I uh... I could be... more... NICE to you... and stuff."

Arnold's eyes widened for a brief moment before falling to a half-lidded gaze as he looked at her. "And what made you decide that?"

"Well I don't know!" Helga snapped before taking a deep breath and trying to focus on her new resolution. "I mean... I guess I just figured that after San Lorenzo and all... maybe... you f-f-f-felt the same way... I felt?" She asked and Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck.

"Well I do, Helga. That's kind of why we kissed, don't you think?"

"I just figured that was all in the heat of the moment, I guess," Helga said and Arnold smiled while shaking his head.

"Not this time, Helga. Not this time, no." He said and Helga grinned at him.

"Well then it's settled. No more bullying. But I do still get to call you names. I've become rather fond of calling you football-head."

Arnold laughed and nodded his head. "I gotta say Helga, I don't know what I'd do if you _didn't_ call me that."

 _Yes! You did it, Helga!_ She congratulated herself. _Now you just have to follow through. You can do this... only... how do you keep up your appearance with everyone else..._

"So does that mean I can hold your hand now when we walk to school like Gerald and Phoebe?" Arnold asked interrupting her thoughts and Helga found herself nodding her head.

"Sure, Hair Boy. If that's really what you want is to be seen with the school bully."

"I don't care what people think," he said and Helga fought back the swoon that was trying to escape her lips.

 _He doesn't care what people think! Ooh!_

"Well," She said with a shrug, trying to show nonchalance, "your poison."

And it was, happily. Arnold could beam from the growth Helga was showing by their conversation that day and he knew things were changing. Maybe Gerald was wrong when he told him that he shouldn't bring up things with Helga and let her bring it up herself. Today, she seemed in a great mood and willing to talk with Arnold about all things. They talked and talked about a lot of things, new and old and for once Helga felt like she was getting somewhere with Arnold. It seemed like the boarding house was working its magic once again.

If only things were as easy at school as it was there.

Just then, a knock cam from the door, both Arnold and Helga turning to look and see Stella peeking out from the corner of which she'd just opened to peek her head in through. "How are you both doing in here?" She asked and the two shrugged their shoulders while exchanging a look.

"We're fine, mom. What's up?" Arnold asked and Stella opened the door further to step inside the frame and stand inside her son's room.

"Well, I'm almost done with dinner, but I was just wondering if I could borrow Helga for some assistance."

Helga looked around the room as if there were another Helga hiding out somewhere alluding her view. Without finding one, she pointed to herself in confusion. "Me?" She exclaimed and Stella nodded her head.

"Gertie isn't feeling very well so I offered to make some soup for dinner and I'd love some help cutting up the vegetables. What do you say, are you in for the task?" Stella offered once more and turning to look at Arnold who muttered a quiet, 'go ahead,' she nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure, why not. I can cut a few vegetables. As long as Arnoldo here can hold down our report fort."

Arnold chuckled and grinned while gesturing towards the computer. "I think I can handle that, Helga. You go on."

So with Arnold's blessing, and despite her better judgment, she followed Stella into the unknown territories that were the boarding house kitchen during dinnertime... to prepare a meal with the elusive woman known as Arnold Shortman's mother.

* * *

 _ **Having a lot of fun writing this and i really hope you're enjoying it too! lots more is to come so be sure to leave a REVIEW and let me know what you think!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	4. The Bully

Helga made her way downstairs to the kitchen with Stella, almost immediately regretting her decision to come and help make dinner. What was she doing? She could be upstairs talking with Arnold and spending time with him but WHAT was she doing? She was cooking. With his MOTHER. _Criminy, Helga, you're losing your focus, here!_ She scolded herself, but nonetheless followed her to where the smells of a delicious soup was simmering and were various vegetables colored the counter waiting to be chopped up.

"Well, here we are," Stella said with a sigh while tying an apron around herself and finding her way towards the pot where the soup was cooking. She reached over for a spoon and ladeled a spoonful into her mouth for a taste before adjusting it with some spices and then glancing over to Helga who was standing just out of sight. "You want a taste?"

Helga shook her head. "Nah, I'm just fine. I'll wait till the finished product."

"Ahh, you're one of those patient types with cooking then, huh?" She shook her head, a smile on her face. "Not like Miles. He _always_ has to have the first taste."

Helga glanced around her surroundings for a moment. "Where _is_ Miles?" She asked and Stella shrugged her shoulders.

"Probably checking on Gertie. He's been taking care of her while I've been cooking."

Helga's brow furrowed as she crossed her arms. "Is she gonna be okay?" She asked and Stella nodded her head while moving to chop up some green onions.

"She'll be alright. If she'd just stop trying to escape the room," she chuckled to herself, "thus why Miles is keeping a close eye on her. She's a stubborn woman his mother is. But that's why we all love her."

"You miss her while you were gone?" Helga blurted out, immediately regretting the words as she knew the answer, but Stella was kind and answered anyway.

"Very much. We missed everyone. Granted, we were asleep, but when we awoke, we knew all that we'd missed and we're very glad to be back now." She said while chopping the onions and then scooping them up to dump them into the pot. Once returning to the chopping board, she picked up the knife to begin cutting again, and gestured for Helga to come join her. "Why don't you start with the carrots over there? There should be another cutting board."

Taking her hands from behind her back and swinging them back and forth for a moment, she then smacked her lips together before making to way towards the carrots and then picked up the knife sitting beside them. Carefully, she lined the first few carrots up and began to chop quietly, before Stella finally spoke.

"So, Helga. How do you like school? How is the sixth grade treating you?" She asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders while focusing on the carrots ahead of her.

"Fine I guess. It isn't as hard as they all TELL you it'll be." She mused and Stella nodded her head.

"I remember going into sixth grade. It's funny, even back then I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Do you?" She asked and Helga looked up and over to her.

"Do I what?"

"Do you know what you want to be when you get older?" She asked again and Helga thought about this for a moment before responding.

"A writer of some sorts. Probably a journalist."

This impressed Stella, "Ooh, a journalist! That sounds exciting."

"Honestly, I used to want to just be a writer of like fictional stories and stuff, but then I started thinking about how I'd really like to travel the world... and a journalist seems like a good idea. Maybe for National Geographic or something." Helga explained, the words coming out more fluidly as she spoke and Stella smiled while she dropped her second handful of onions into the pot of stewing soup.

"Traveling the world is definitely exciting, but it has it's challenges," Stella said, returning to her cutting board and reaching for the turnips that were sitting nearby. "But don't let that stop you. It's such a rewarding experience. Especially if you have the right person by your side to experience it all with." She said with a wink and Helga found herself blushing and quickly returned her eyes back to the carrots she was cutting.

"You cook much?" Stella asked next and Helga shook her head while scooping up the carrots she'd just cut and placing them into the pot nearby.

"No, we hardly ever have food in the house to cook with," She blurted out and this stunned Stella who turned around to look at Helga with a surprised expression.

"You don't? Do your parents not shop?" She asked and Helga bit her lip for a moment before thinking through her reply.

"It's... it's complicated," she settled on, even though Stella was more curious as to just what she meant by that.

"Complicated how?" She wondered and Helga sighed, feeling as though Arnold gets his whole nature from his parents whether he was raised by them or not.

"It's just my parents... well... they aren't... they aren't like you guys at all. Or like Phil or Gertie... or ANYONE really." She explained and Stella nodded her head.

"So how _are_ they like?"

"They're... they're..." She sighed again and shook her head giving up on trying to elude Stella on her personal matters any longer because it was getting her nowhere. "They're not very good parents. I mean sure, maybe they TRY to be, but they don't try very hard, at least."

"Why do you say that?"

"What are you like my therapist or something?" Helga snapped before taking a deep breath and instead chopping on the cutting board more ferociously as she explained further. "It's just that I don't cook because my parents usually order take-out, unless _Ol_ ga's home in which case they go all out for her and cook this grand old feast and spend the WHOLE TIME talking about her and ignoring me. I mean, heck, even when it comes to school, I'm lucky if I get a meal because 90% of the time it's a good day if Miriam remembers to pack me a can of cheeze fizz and crackers just to get me through the day."

Stella remained quiet at all the information that Helga had overloaded her with at once and Helga immediately felt like she'd said something wrong and instead focused on the carrots in front of her, chopping quietly as she shook her head.

After a moment, Stella finally spoke. "I'm sorry to hear that, Helga," she said, "nobody should have to deal with all of that."

Helga shrugged her shoulders. "It's been like that ever since I can remember, honestly."

"Well," Stella said before turning around to walk towards Helga and place her hands warmly on Helga's shoulders. "It doesn't have to be like that here. Think of the boarding house as your... your safe haven, alright? I'm sure Arnold wouldn't mind if you come here when you like and spend some time with us just to get away every now and again. And we'd be happy to have you. Any time."

With wide eyes, Helga turned to look at Stella from over her shoulder. "Really? Like... REALLY really?"

"Really, really. As far as I'm concerned, you're the reason we got our son back and Miles and I are forever indebted to you. We're happy to extend our home to you if you need it. And it sounds like you could use that in your life right now."

"Honestly?" Helga said while setting the knife down and taking a deep breath, "I really kinda could these days."

"Then it's settled. Our home is your home. Anytime." She said with a smile and then returned to her cooking station. "Now how's about we finish up this soup and get the table ready for the boarders, Miles, Arnold and us?"

* * *

"Bye Helga! We'll see you tomorrow!" Stella called out from where her and Miles stood waving out the doorway as Helga went to leave the boarding house just shortly after dinner. Arnold and Helga hadn't made that much headway when it came to their project, but it seemed that other things may be more important for them right now and they were both just trying to go with the flow of things.

"Is it alright if I walk Helga home?" Arnold asked his parents.

"Oh, you really don't have to, football-head," Helga tried but he insisted.

"No, really, I'd like to. And besides, it really isn't that dark out yet. So can I?" Arnold asked and his parents nodded their heads reluctantly.

"Just be careful, alright you two?" Miles said.

* * *

"Thanks again for staying for dinner tonight, Helga," Arnold said as he walked beside her, his hands in his pockets. "I know the boarders can be... a lot to handle... but I think they liked you. Especially all your witty comebacks at Oskar."

Helga smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "He's kind of easy to make fun of to be honest."

Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck and chuckled. "Yeah he's a real character."

"You like living with all of them? With your parents and all?" Helga asked and Arnold nodded his head.

"Yeah, it's like having an even bigger family, but this time it's real, you know? I have a mom, a dad, grandparents, and then... everyone else."

Helga smirked and kicked a rock that she had been eyeing from a few paces back. "How do you see them? As uncles and aunts or what?"

"That's a good question," Arnold replied while thinking about it for a long moment. "I guess I see them as all of it. Aunts, uncles, cousins, they're a bit of everything, sort of."

"That's cool." Helga said with a nod as they turned the corner and headed down the street leading towards the beeper emporium.

"How was cooking with my mom today?" Arnold asked suddenly, "She didn't make it too weird on you, did she?"

"Why?" Helga asked with a sly smile. "You scared your mom embarrassed you?"

Arnold chuckled but nodded his head. "I guess I kind of am, aren't I? Isn't that what parents are supposed to do to their kids?"

"Nah, not all parents. And yours are pretty cool. Your mom... she's really nice." Helga said as they approached the emporium, the lights turning on just as they came up to the mailbox.

"What did she say?" Arnold asked and Helga stopped in front of the door and she turned to face him.

"She told me I was welcome at your house any time. And that you wouldn't mind." She said honestly and Arnold nodded his head while taking one of Helga's hands.

"Well I wouldn't, you know."

"Good. Cause I have this feeling you'll be seeing a lot of me. What with my situation and all," she said with a nod towards the emporium and Arnold nodded his head before looking down at their hands and swallowing hard.

"Helga... were you... serious about what you said earlier? About you being nicer to me at school and stuff?"

Helga nodded her head, a frown on her face because Arnold hadn't believed her. "Yeah, I was. You didn't believe me?"

"I do, I just want to make sure... and that we can... you know..." he said while gesturing towards their hands and she squeezed his before letting go and nodding her head while reaching for the door.

"I was serious, Arnoldo. Now stop being so unsure of yourself and just let it happen, alright? I've been waiting a long time for this."

"I know you have," Arnold said sheepishly before grabbing her arm as she tried to leave and saying one more thing, "And Helga?"

"Yeah Arnold?"

He pulled her close to him and quickly pecked her on the cheek, nervous to do so in case her parents caught the two of them on the emporium front step. "Goodnight," he said and then turned around to leave Helga with her blood on fire where she stood quivering from his goodnight kiss.

"Goodnight, Arnold."

/

* * *

Helga made her way around the corner with Phoebe to the next day to meet up with Gerald and Arnold, his hand ready for hers immediately with a smile on his face.

"You sure you're okay being seen with me?" Helga asked and Arnold nodded his head assuredly.

"Positive." He responded as she took his hand, electricity sparking throughout her body at his touch.

They traveled the few blocks hand in hand to PS118, Helga unsure of herself as they moved; unsure as to just what her classmates might think. Would they stare? Would they laugh? Would they even take her seriously as she walked hand in hand with the object of her long-term affection?

Only the true test of walking down the halls would tell as they walked up the steps of the school and entered the building, the world seeming to move in half time as they began walking down the hallway.

Arnold's hand felt hot in hers, her own growing clammy as she gripped his tightly while they wandered to their classroom. Helga looked around the hallway, eyes following the two of them it seemed and it made her angry at best. Who were they to stare at her? Who were they to even look her way when she should be glowing with pride at her most achieved goal of being with Arnold once and for all?

Just out of earshot, she heard mumbles, sounds that sounded muffled but she could just quite make out the words.

"Is that Arnold?"

"Is that HELGA?"

"Are they TOGETHER?"

"Golly!"

"Would you look at that!"

She wanted to thrash out. She wanted to pound each of their heads into their appropriate lockers and show them who's boss but Arnold's hand kept her at bay and soon she heard his words which pulled her out of her daydreams of beating her fellow classmates.

"Helga? Are you okay?" He asked, and she shook her head to get herself out of her fog and looked over at him.

"Everyone is staring." She replied and Arnold shrugged his shoulders, completely unphased.

"So what?" He asked and Helga frowned.

"That doesn't bother you in the SLIGHTEST?" She demanded but Arnold merely shook his head.

"No, they're just surprised is all. Let them be," Arnold said calmly, but Helga couldn't allow herself to be calm, even around Arnold, as much as she wanted to be.

"How can I DO that, though? When they're all just... STARING at us?"

Arnold squeezed her hand and let go of her hand, effectively cutting off their bond for their short moment. "Maybe we'll stop and then they'll stop staring."

Helga frowned and immediately grabbed his hand back and glared at him. "Are you kidding me? Who said I wanted to stop, huh?" She asked and he chuckled to himself.

"Whatever you say, Helga," he said as they rounded the hallway and entered their classroom, making their way to their appropriate desks and then letting go of each other's hands in unison, Helga still feeling uncomfortable as eyes continued to stare at her from where she sat in her desk.

Just as she was beginning to feel semi-normal again, her heart rate having calmed down from the impression her and Arnold had made this morning, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd strutted over to her desk and set two perfectly manicured hands on the top of her desk and smiled down at her with narrowed eyes.

"Good morning Helga." Rhonda greeted, her bright teeth glimmering under the florescent lighting.

"Uh... hiya princess. What brings you here to my office this early in the morning?" Helga asked with a raised brow and Rhonda smirked while leaning in towards her and licking her glossed lips slightly before speaking.

"Saw you in the hallway this morning," she began, Helga's eyes widening. "Kind of hard to miss when you're holding the hand of the most popular guy in our grade."

"A-Arnold?" She stuttered out and Rhonda nodded her head once.

"Arnold indeed," She said, leaning in further. "Are you two an item, Helga? I must say, I'm impressed. I didn't think you had it in you."

Helga frowned and then leaned in towards Rhonda and glared. "Had it in me to actually be with someone you find 'cool' when I'm so 'uncool' myself?"

"Au contraire, Helga my dear," she said while reaching out to brush away a stray hair from Helga's face while she reached out to slap the manicured hand away from her face. "I'm impressed because you did it all yourself without help from anyone else."

"What like I need someone like you to do something for me or something?"

"Well you are a tad abrasive, especially for Arnold, don't you think? I'm just surprised you won his heart after all... maybe my marriage predictor was right..." She muttered to herself and Helga slammed her hands on the desk and stood up, her face mere inches from Rhonda's now.

"Screw your marriage predictor, Rhonda, this was all me. You know NOTHING, you got it? You're just some spoiled, rich, know-nothing, BRAT who needs to get AWAY from me before I smash your head into my desk. Got it?" Helga threatened and Rhonda took a step back from Helga, her heals clicking with each step she took.

"Fine, Helga. But I really was just trying to pay you a compliment and tell you that I that I... well... I approve."

"Like I need your COMPLIMENT, Lloyd. Like I need your APPROVAL. Get out of my face. NOW!" Helga hollered over the school bell and she plopped down in her chair, Arnold's eyes stuck on her from where she sat after her run-in with the most popular girl in the school.

"Are you okay?" Arnold whispered over to her and Helga nodded her head vigorously while staring ahead at the blackboard.

"Yeah, Arnold. I'm just peachy."

/

* * *

"I can't believe we're at the end of this stupid lunch line," Helga complained as she stood waiting with Arnold behind Sheena and Eugene. "We're even behind the dweebs."

"Helga..." Arnold scolded but Helga didn't apologize for her comment.

"Well we ARE, aren't we? I mean criminy! Can't we cut a BREAK today or what?" She shouted with a tapping of her foot as the line slugged along. But Sheena and Eugene were too busy talking to even move an inch along in the line and that bothered Helga. "Could we PLEASE move along you two? Cripes!"

"Helga, are you sure you're okay? You're acting a little-"

"Aggitated? Frustrated? Completely annoyed?" She tried but Arnold remained flat and stared at her.

"Hostile." He finished and Helga took a deep breath.

"Sorry," She said after a moment. "I guess this whole being nice thing isn't something I'm really used to doing with you. Maybe it's getting to me or something. I mean," she said with a chuckle, " I haven't even thrown a single spitball at you all day today."

"I know," he said, "or pulled a prank on me at all. How does it feel?"

Helga thought about this for a while and smiled over at him as they finally took their trays from the line and began making their way towards their friends waving them over to their usual table. "It feels good, actually. Believe that or not. Just weird is all. But a good weird."

"Well I'm glad to hear that." Arnold replied with an equally as big smile, only distracting Helga for a moment before Harold called out from across the lunch room in a loud booming voice.

"Hey look! It's _He_ lga and her big caterpillar eyebrow with _Aw_ nold!" He mocked and Helga narrowed her eyes at him from where she stood now frozen in the cafeteria, though Arnold had ignored it and continued to make his way towards the table set in his sights.

"Yeah!" Sid laughed from where he sat beside Harold and Stinky, "And they were holding HANDS this morning!"

"Ha ha ha," Harold laughed as Helga drew near to him with her tray, "Helga and Arnold sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE, then comes a baby in a baby-" but before he could finish singing his ridiculous song, Helga had smashed her tray of food smack dab in his face so hard that he fell back off of his chair and onto the floor.

"Helga!" Arnold exclaimed while standing up from the table he'd just sat down at beside Gerald and Phoebe and the cafeteria grew quiet as the sound of her tray clattered to the ground.

"Try it again, fat boy, and see what happens THEN," Helga finalized before walking over to where Arnold was still standing in shock and calmly sat down next to him. "So where were we?"

"Why did you do that, Helga?" Arnold asked while sitting down slowly and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Because he was making fun of us, DOI, keep up with the times Hair Boy. I had to do SOMETHING." She defended but Arnold shook his head defiantly.

"No, Helga, you didn't. You could have let him be. He was just being... Harold."

"And that's an excuse to make fun of people?" Helga asked and Arnold narrowed his eyes at Helga to a half-lidded gaze.

"It used to be enough for you." He reminded her and she frowned.

"You know I had my reasons..." she muttered but Arnold only sighed before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a brown paper bag.

"Here," He said while handing her the bag. "I wasn't expecting you to have money for lunch today-"

"I scrounged it out of Bob's pants pockets this morning from the dirty laundry," Helga interrupted as Arnold continued.

"-but seeing as you don't have lunch now... you'd better take this." he finished and Helga eyed it curiously.

"What is it?" She asked before peeking inside to see a sandwich, some chips and an apple.

"It's lunch. From my mom. She made it for you. Just in case."

Helga's jaw dropped at the kind gesture from Arnold's mother and she told herself that she had to remember to thank Stella later. She'd cared? She'd cared enough about Helga and her story about her parents that she'd wanted to make her lunch just to make sure that she had some food to eat for lunch? How could someone be so nice? How could someone care so much about another person when they hardly knew them? It was such a foreign situation to her that she didn't know how to handle it or how to even say 'thank you.'

As for Arnold, he was thinking of much more different things. He was confused. He couldn't understand how Helga had focused on being so nice to him all day and so horrible to everyone else. Hadn't she changed? Hadn't being with him changed her in some way enough that she could finally stop her bullying once and for all? After all, wasn't the bullying just a cover for her secret adoration for him? And now that it was all out in the open, the cover could be blown, couldn't it? What was holding her back now?

As they both sat and wondered their separate thoughts, Gerald and Phoebe looked to one another and back at their friends ahead of them, clearly in distress. If they could figure it all out, couldn't their friends? Certainly Arnold and Helga, two of the smartest kids they knew, could.

* * *

 _ **I loved this scene earlier with Stella and Helga, along with the other scenes in this chapter, which scenes did you guys enjoy? i hoped you liked this chapter! Please let me know what you guys think as well by leaving me a REVIEW!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	5. Milk and Cookies

The rest of the week progressed as Arnold and Helga continued on their journey together of holding hands on their way to school; Arnold determined not to let the others get to them when it came to their newfound relationship. Sure, they might just be in the sixth grade, but a relationship was a relationship and he took it seriously knowing that it could one day lead to something more if he played his cards right. Feelings were important to him, and he certainly had plenty for Helga, despite her rough exterior.

And while he knew the inside of Helga G. Pataki wasn't as rough as the outside, unfortunately for the others of PS118, they weren't aware of this tidbit, and as the week continued on, so did Helga's wrath against others that weren't Arnold P. Shortman.

Helga seemed determined to take her rage out on anyone else who was listening. Her outbursts were uncalled for, unworthy, and undesired. She took them out on everyone, and nobody was safe, not even the sweetest of people. She mocked and scowled and glared at anyone she came in contact with who wasn't Arnold or Phoebe, (even Gerald at times fell victim to her charades) and her class was becoming less tolerant and more frustrated with her by the second.

"What is _with_ that Helga lately?" Rhonda asked on the playground one day and Stinky shrugged his shoulders while handing upside down from the monkey bars.

"I reckon she's just in one of them moods 'er somethin'." He drolled and Rhonda shook her head while crossing her arms over her chest.

"I've had moods, Stinky. They hardly last a week." She muttered before taking a seat on the picnic table and crossing her legs. "Ever since her and Arnold got together, she's been hardly tolerable. I mean, she's been practically on a warpath for blood."

"Maybe she's just having an off week," Eugene said optimistically but Rhonda furrowed her brows and shook her head again at his idea.

"No," she stated, "being with Arnold should have enlightened her _I'd_ think. The poor girl _has_ been in love with the boy for practically forever. I mean, remember that Romeo and Juliet play? It has to have been since at least then. That kiss..." She shook her head at the thought of it and tried to focus her thoughts on what could be making Helga act so out of turn all the time as of recently.

"I'm sure Helga's just oh so happy to be with Arnold," Lila murmured from where she sat on the swingset nearby, "Perhaps she's just taking out her aggression that she'd usually take out on him, on us."

"Well that's preposterous." Rhonda said with a tilt of her head to the sky. "What could we have done to deserve _this_?"

"Maybe by acknowledging their ever so new relationship?" Lila continued. "Maybe Helga isn't ready for everyone to notice the two of them."

"Well then _maybe_ they shouldn't go around holding _hands_ all the time," Rhonda sneered back at Lila while gesturing towards the two of them from across the playground where they played foursquare with Phoebe and Gerald.

"It isn't their fault, Rhonda. Maybe they're in love." Lila swooned with a clasp of her hands as Rhonda scoffed.

"Love? Ha! They're 11! We hardly know what love is!" She exclaimed though Lila remained certain of her words.

"Even so, maybe if we didn't bring up their relationship to them so often, like rub it in their face or treated them differently or whatnot, Helga might back off from treating us so poorly. It's just an idea."

But as hard as the kids would try, it didn't stop Helga from her warpath, even if Lila was right about why she was acting out in the first place.

/

* * *

"You ready to walk to the boarding house?" Helga asked after school and Arnold looked around at everyone as they ran out of the school doors and down the steps to the appropriate directions of their homes.

"I thought we could take the bus today," Arnold said and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Alright, suit yourself," She said, following him to the bus stop and loading onto the vehicle while paying the driver and finding a seat next to him. Once they were seated and the bus started moving, Arnold knew it was time to say the words he'd been thinking about all day long.

"Helga, I wanted to talk to you about something." Arnold started and Helga turned to face him and raised a brow.

"Okay... and what's that?" She asked.

"What's with the bullying lately?" Arnold questioned, him turning to face her as the bus drove down the streets of Hillwood, bumping along the road with each mile they went.

"Huh?" She breathed out, completely surprised that he'd noticed her sudden animosity towards everyone... something she'd hardly even noticed herself.

"You've been... really... horrible towards everyone lately. Even more so than usual. Except me." He noted and Helga frowned while turning away from him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," She stated, her head still facing away from him.

"I think you do. I mean, just today, Rhonda was telling me-" But Helga cut him off before he could continue his sentence.

"Rhonda? Really? You're going to go off something Princess said?" Helga snapped back at him and Arnold leaned back a bit from Helga at her sudden change of tone.

"Helga, I'm just trying to talk to you about something the others have brought up to me because it's a little alarming to them. You've been treating them really rough lately. Is there a reason why?" He asked and Helga chewed on her lip for a moment, deciding whether or not she should spill her guts and tell him all the reasons she does what she does when it comes to bullying the other kids around the schoolyard.

Helga turned to stare out the window of the bus and saw the boarding house come into view and quickly reached up to pull on the pully to signal to the bus driver for him to stop the vehicle.

"C'mon Arnold, we'd better go before we miss our stop or we'll be walking after all," she said while standing up quickly and sliding passed him to walk down the aisle and off the bus, Arnold remaining behind startled but slowly rising and following after her, his thoughts still focused on getting an answer out of her one way or another.

But Arnold had little success, no matter how hard he tried. It seemed that no matter how many times he brought up the subject of Helga's newfound bullying, she found a way to avoid it and turn the subject around completely. Whether it was back on the topic of their history assignment, off the topic entirely or escaping altogether in the kitchen to help Stella and Gertie prepare dinner, Helga managed to avoid the topic all night and by the time Helga left for the evening, Arnold still had no more answers than he had when he'd brought it up in the first place.

The whole thing was very frustrating to him, but very satisfying to Helga. She'd managed to avoid Arnold's interrogation at least for one more day and that was enough for her. At least it gave her 24 more hours to think of a suitable answer for the next time he questioned her which, knowing Arnold, would be by tomorrow at the very least.

So after Helga's detour around the city, she returned late that night to her home, or at least to the beeper empire, where she could rest up for the next day in preparation to deal with her annoying classmates while she swooned at the idea of spending yet another day in bliss holding hands with Arnold through the halls and as they walked to school. That was until she got a slap-in-the-face-of-a-greeting from Big Bob himself the moment she walked in the door.

"Nice to see you finally showed up," Bob sneered as Helga closed the door behind her, Bob standing in front of her with his arms crossed and a glare on his face.

"What, like I was supposed to be here or something? Like you even noticed I was gone?" She responded and Bob continued his glare as she set her bookbag down on the ground beside where she stood.

"You've been gone this whole week, little lady! And tonight is the latest yet! I think..." Bob exclaimed while throwing his arms up in the air before pointing a fat finger in her face. "Who's supposed to set up the dang displays if I have to do all the work around here? I mean Miriam certainly isn't any help..." He muttered and Miriam raised from the couch for a brief moment at the sound of her name and looked around confused.

"I'm... I'm up." She stuttered and both Bob and Helga rolled their eyes.

"Look," Bob said, "You gotta stop going over to that orphan boy friend of yours house, you got that? I need help around the emporium and that's an order."

Helga raised her brow and crossed her arms over her chest. "And just what makes you think I'll do THAT?" She asked. "I've felt more welcome over there than I've EVER felt in my own HOUSE, _dad,_ doesn't that SAY something to you?"

"As a matter of fact, it DOES say something- it says that you've lost sight of your place here at the beeper emporium and where you fit in this empire I've built single-handedly from the ground up." But Helga laughed in his face and quickly cut him off.

"Oh, you're wrong, Bob, you are SO wrong because for YOUR information, I HAVE found something and I've found it not in your lame beeper store but in that not-so-orphan-boy Arnold that I'm always seeing. He's my pretty much my BOYFRIEND now and I'm not even afraid to say so anymore."

Bob shook his head. "And how long is THAT gonna last you think, huh? What are you, 7?"

"I'm 11, dad! 11!" Helga shouted, her voice breaking as she hollered; her voice echoing in the empty emporium building that surrounded them. "Can you ever get that through your thick skull or do you just not care about me THAT MUCH to never remember my actual birthday? Or my birthyear? Or my actual BIRTH? Do I really matter that LITTLE to you?"

"Of course you matter to me, Olga," he said and Helga threw her arms up in the air.

"See THAT'S what I'm talking about, dad. It's HELGA. Helga. H-E-L-G-A, HEL-GA. Not your precious Olga, but Helga. Criminy! You know, I don't have to take this," she said while grabbing her backpack off the floor and reaching for a coat from off of a box nearby.

"And just where do you think you're off to NOW?" Bob demanded as Helga opened the door to the world outside.

"I'm going somewhere where I KNOW people care about me. Where people know my name and know more about me than the fact that I can set up a stinkin' beeper display in a god-forsaken window," She explained and Bob raised a brow.

"And just where's that?" He asked and Helga just smirked while shaking her head.

"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you dad?" She asked calmly, her words soft and still like the night itself.

And with that, Helga walked out the doors of the beeper emporium for the destination she knew she belonged at before she'd even left its safe doors. Her safe haven.

* * *

A soft knock came from the top of Arnold's skylight window and he opened his eyes to see Helga just above him looking down at him from the glass above.

"Helga?" He asked himself before getting out of bed and climbing up the ladder to open the window for her. "Helga," He asked once he'd let her in, "What are you doing here? It's so late..."

"Criminy, it's only 10 o'clock, what are you 90?" She snapped back at him before sighing and following him down the ladder steps. "Sorry it's just been... it's been a rough night."

Once they were down the steps and safely onto the bed, Arnold turned to look at her, still in her clothes from this afternoon and raised a brow. "You wanna talk about it?"

She let out a deep breath and turned away from him before frowning and pursing her lips as she did so. "Not really," She muttered before doing so anyway. "It's just my dad," she blurted out after a minute of silence. "I got home after taking a walk around town and he just EXPLODED at me for not showing up to help him with his STUPID beeper display. I mean, nobody is BUYING the dang things, it isn't like some new fancy display is gonna DO anything, but NO, he doesn't LISTEN to me." She huffed out a breath before pulling her legs up to sit cross legged and stared down at her lap before continuing.

"So then we start fighting about how I'm always here, and how I'm never there which honestly bothered me because when has he EVER noticed my existence except for when he needs me for something, right? Like he doesn't CARE about me, not like any OTHER father cares about his daughter... not like he cares about _Ol_ ga. Anyway, one thing led to another and soon I was out on the street walking to your place. And here I am." She finished, Arnold nodding his head as he listened to her every word, taking it all in like a sponge.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Helga," he said sympathetically while reaching up to place a hand on her shoulder. "It isn't right for him to treat you like that. But..." he said while dropping his hand, "won't you get in trouble for being here? If he doesn't like you here in the first place, won't it make him more angry that you're here?"

"Who cares?" Helga said while leaning back on her hands, "He'll get over it. He usually does. I'll just tell him I went to spend the night at Phoebe's. She'll cover for me. He'll be none the wiser."

"Well alright," Arnold said unconvinced while standing up from the bed and Helga pushed herself up to sit straight and looked at him curiously.

"What are you doing?" She asked and Arnold turned around to face her.

"Going to tell my parents you're here." He said and Helga frowned.

"You can't just hide me for a night and let me escape in the morning?" She asked and Arnold chuckled while shaking his head.

"I'm sure they'd rather you have somewhere nice to sleep than just on my couch. Besides, wouldn't you like breakfast in the morning?" He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"I almost NEVER have breakfast in the morning," she replied and Arnold smiled.

"All the more reason for you to have it tomorrow when you wake up. I'll be right back," And with that, he left Helga in his room to wander downstairs to his parents room to let them know of her existence as she waited to be separated yet again from the one person who understood her like the back of their hand... the true savior of her safe haven that she was at last in. Safe from home. Safe from Bob. Safe from the world that had it out for her.

* * *

There hadn't been any extra rooms left in the boarding house since Stella and Miles moved back in, so Helga was forced to sleep on the couch in the living room which was still a step up from her sleeping bag back at the emporium. Either way, the couch was still old, and the springs dug into her back no matter which way she moved and she was starting to grow frustrated with the couch with each toss and turn she made.

"Stinkin' couch," she grumbled as she fluffed the pillow under her head and turned to face the kitchen who's light went on the moment she flipped and her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness as the light switched. "What the...?" She asked allowed as a dark figure peeked in to where she was laying.

"You still awake?" Miles whispered and Helga pushed herself up to sit sideways on the couch and looked at him with tired eyes.

"Still awake," she sighed and Miles nodded while holding up a finger.

"One sec," he said before disappearing into the light and then reappearing with a plate and two glasses in hand. "I brought some reinforcements," he announced before turning on the lamp on the nearest table and sitting down beside her on the couch.

"What are those?" Helga asked while rubbing her eyes as her pupils tried to adjust to even more brightness in the small living room.

"The cookies Stella and I made this afternoon while you and Arnold were at school," he said proudly. "And so far, I've only had six of them."

Helga chuckled while shaking her head. "Sounds like you're pretty stoked about that."

"Takes a lot of self-control, I know."

"Well you sound to be pretty in control there with you and your six cookies," Helga noted before reaching over and taking a glass of milk from his hand as he nodded his head.

"You got that right," he said before offering her the plate of cookies. "Cookie?"

Helga thought about this, "Honestly? I prefer pork rinds for a midnight snack, but after discovering they cause sleepwalking... I guess a cookie will have to do." She decided before reaching over and taking a lone cookie off of the plate and dipping it into her glass of milk before tossing it into her mouth. "So what brings you up so late?"

"Can't sleep," he said in between bites of his own cookie. "You?" He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Same. Plus, this couch sucks. No offense."

Miles shrugged back at her. "None taken. It's been here since _I_ was a kid. It really should be replaced."

"Tell that to my back," Helga said while stealing another cookie off of the plate.

"So what's on your mind? Family troubles?" Miles pressed and Helga eyed him suspiciously.

"How'd you know?" She asked and he sighed before setting the plate of cookies on his lap.

"Stella told me a bit about your home life." He admitted and Helga dropped her head back and rolled her eyes.

"Criminy! What's with you Shortmans and your having to fix everything, huh?" Helga asked and Miles chuckled while sending a half-smile her way.

"I'm not trying to fix anything, honestly. Just trying to help." He said earnestly and Helga pursed her lips.

"Same difference."

Miles shook his head, "There's quite a big difference between helping and fixing things, honestly. I can't fix your home life, no matter how much I want to. However, I certainly could help, if you'd let me try."

Helga watched him for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not sure how you could help more than you already have, Miles."

"Well at least I'm getting somewhere though, right?" He asked and Helga thought about this for a moment before nodding her head.

"Yeah, you and Stella have helped quite a bit, actually. Just being here helps. Anything to get away from that dump of the beeper empire." Helga said, Miles nodding his head before thinking through his next words carefully.

"Look, Helga, if there's something that's going on at your house that makes you leave in the middle of the night to go somewhere else that makes you feel safer, then there's something seriously wrong going on. Are you safe there?" He asked seriously and Helga nodded her head.

"I'm safe in the physical sense, yes," she said before looking down at her glass of milk and sighing. "But I guess I just wish my family cared about me more or something."

"What do you mean? You don't think they care?" Miles asked and Helga continued staring down at her milk, getting lost in the white of the liquid.

"It isn't that I THINK they don't care, I KNOW they don't care." Helga insisted and Miles nodded his head while taking another cookie and chewing on it quietly.

"Well if that's true," Miles said, "then I think they're missing out on a pretty great daughter that they've raised."

"Hardly," Helga retorted but Miles disagreed.

"No, Helga, they really are."

"Not that part," Helga explained, "just the part about them raising me. By all accounts, I've pretty much raised myself."

"Then in my opinion? If it matters?" Miles started before Helga turned to look over at him, "I think you've done an excellent job."

"You really think so?" She asked and Miles nodded his head sincerely with a smile on his face.

Miles reached out to set a hand on Helga's shoulder and squeezed it for a moment. "I know so, Helga. And maybe if you looked inside yourself and saw yourself the way others see you, the way my Arnold sees you, you might see that too."

"Seriously?" Helga questioned and Miles stood up from the couch, cookies and milk still in hand and made his way to the kitchen before stopping to turn around and look at her once more.

"Try the journaling thing, just once," he encouraged,

"Journaling? Really? You're on that again?" She asked with a smirk and he nodded his head.

"You'd be surprised what journaling does for you and your psyche. Heck, it's even just fun to journal about your day. And even more fun to look at it years down the road and see what you were going through and how far you've come- the road you've traveled."

Helga rolled her eyes. "Well you find me the right journal then, bucko," she told him and he chuckled.

"I might just take you up on that offer if it gets you to try it," he said from the doorway, "who knows? You might learn something about yourself."

"And if I don't?" She challenged.

"Then you might learn something about the world."

And with that, he left into the kitchen, the light soon turning off to leave Helga under the light of the lamp beside her and the questions he'd given her to think about.

* * *

 ** _This was a bit of a tricky chapter to write, but i really enjoyed the final scene here with miles because i love miles so that was fun. what did you like the most? are you enjoying the story so far? Let me know what you think by leaving a REVIEW and telling me!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	6. Aftermaths

By the time the week was over and Helga and Arnold had presented their history project, Helga had become pretty acquainted with the boarding house and its inhabitants. So familiar in fact, that once the project was over, she continued gracing them with her presence almost every day after school. She enjoyed feeling welcome there and feeling like she was a part of something bigger than herself. It was much different than it felt at home and at the beeper empire, that's for sure. At the boarding house, she felt like she was part of an actual family, even if it wasn't one of her own.

She just wished that it was hers.

But even if it wasn't, they had embraced her like she was without any questions asked. She became so familiarized with the boarding house, the boarders and family began to wonder where she was on days she didn't show up and ask her about her days when she would return. They asked her about school and about her home life and soon she wasn't afraid to tell them about how life actually was back with Miriam and Bob. She even began to open up about her life with Olga and her animosity towards her, something she rarely talked about, even with herself.

It was amazing what they had done for her, what they had helped change her into becoming. It was like weights were becoming to lift off of her shoulders and life was starting to be manageable in even the simplest of ways, ways she had never imagined they could be. How had she gone this long in her life without feeling this way?

But even so, even feeling all this, there was something missing within her that made her continue the act that was her life outside the boarding house's walls. At school, Helga continued her charade of being the bully that had become expected of her, the bully that she had forced herself to become. She picked and teased at others, much to their dismay, and it seemed that daily it only got worse as her insides brewed at the lack of attention she paid to Arnold and the more attention she paid to others. It became so bad, that the crew of kids finally went to Arnold in an act of desperation one day when he was away from Helga for the briefest of moments.

"Arnold, we have to talk to you," Sid begged as he pulled Arnold's arm towards the group of kids who were waiting to talk to him around the picnic table.

"What's... what's going on?" He asked, Gerald atop the picnic table with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Phoebe's got Helga distracted so we can talk to you," he said, "you need a SERIOUS Helga-vention."

"A Helga-vention? Like an intervention of Helga?" Arnold asked and the group simultaneously nodded their heads in agreement.

"You're blinded, man," Gerald said. "And don't tell me you aren't because you are, we've all seen it."

"How am I blinded?" Arnold asked while looking around at the group and trying to make eye contact with each individual person, "We still have gin rummy night. We still meet at Gerald field for games. We still do all the same things we've always done... so how am I blinded?" He asked and Rhonda stood up from the group to announce the real trouble concerning everyone.

"It isn't like you're obsessed with her or anything, it's that she's acting horrible to ALL of us!" She said and the group mumbled 'yes's above each other while nodding their heads as Arnold frowned and looked down at his hands.

"Oh," he quietly said while staring down at his fingers.

"Yeah, man," Gerald said, "you've been so busy with Helga that you haven't been paying attention to see just how crazy she's been acting."

"The thing is..." Arnold said quietly, "I _have_ noticed, it's just that... well... I _tried_ talking to her about it and she kind of... she kind of ignored me."

"She ignored _you_?" Gerald asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Arnold said tilting his head back up to look at everyone. "No matter how many times I brought it up to her, she wouldn't tell me why she was acting so mean to everyone. She won't tell me and she clearly won't stop."

"But you're Arnold!" Sid said from the crowd.

"Yeah! If it's anyone who can show Helga the light, it's you, Arnold!" Eugene encouraged but Arnold merely shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not sure she's ready. She's clearly doing it for a reason, I just can't figure out why yet," He said solemnly. "And if I can't figure out why, then I can't stop her from doing anything or convince her to quit."

"But you have to try," Sheena squeaked while clasping her hands in front of her chest, "you're our only hope."

"Yeah man, YOU'RE the only one who can get through to her, after all..." Gerald said with a hand on his friend's shoulder as he looked down at him with sympathetic eyes.

Arnold looked around at his friends who were pleading with their eyes for him to help them in the only way they knew how... and he knew he had to try again. Even if that meant he had to deal with the wrath of Helga G. Pataki once again.

* * *

"You know my mom and you sure do make some great pasta," Arnold commented as they headed up the stairs to his room and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"It really wasn't that hard, actually," She said, "I'm just glad I was able to come around for another family dinner."

"Well, this has been your fourth one now," Arnold said with a smile and Helga grinned.

"That's true. I've kinda put a kink in your tradition, haven't I?" Helga chewed on her lip for a moment for fear he'd agree, but Arnold merely shook his head.

"You've just made the tradition better, Helga," he said honestly and Helga nodded her head, actually believing him for one of the first times in her life.

"If you say so, football-head," She replied as they entered his room and he shut the door behind him, making his way awkwardly to the couch and patting the spot beside him.

"Sit down, I uh... I wanna talk." He said and Helga eyed him curiously before wandering to his side and taking a seat beside him.

"Talk?" Helga repeated, her heart suddenly racing as she recognized the phrase most people used to break off relationships with another person. Had she done something wrong? She thought that since she'd made her decision to treat Arnold nicer, things had been going really well. They'd held hands everyday, they even shared another kiss (even if it had only been on the cheek), and Arnold had just said that she'd made his family tradition all the more better- weren't those all signs of a good relationship? Or was there something she just wasn't seeing that he had seen all along?

Nervously, she nodded her head as he continued to gesture for her to sit down next to him and she made her way towards him before sitting down beside him and taking a deep, shaky breath. "Sure, Hair Boy, let's talk. What's on that football-headed mind of yours?" She tried with humor and Arnold took an equally shaky breath at what he knew would be disastrous if he didn't go about it the right way.

"So things have been going well lately, don't you think?" He began, testing the waters of Helga's mood and she nodded her head, unsure as to where he was headed with this particular conversation.

"Well that depends, smart guy, do YOU think they've been going well? Cause you've kind of got me all nervous here with this sit down talk you've got going on..." Helga demanded and Arnold knew immediately that he'd started in the wrong direction.

"No, no, I think it's going fine-"

"Fine?" Helga asked, slightly disappointed.

"Great, really, Helga, this isn't about us, I promise," Arnold reassured her and she took a deep breath before letting it out along with most of her tension before relaxing into the couch.

"Well THAT'S a relief. Criminy, Arnold! You had me panicking over here!" She exclaimed and Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck slightly ashamed.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean for it to come across like that..." He said and Helga nodded her head before turning to look at him.

"So what is it then?"

"What is what?" Arnold asked and Helga raised her brow.

"What...did you want to talk to me about?" She asked and Arnold nodded his head more to himself than to her, trying to remind himself just what it was again that he had brought her over to talk with him about.

"Right, right," he said nervously, remembering the conversation back at school with his friends and knowing just what he had to do. But as he looked at Helga, as he looked at her strong brow and deep azure eyes, he didn't know if he could muster the courage it would take to talk to Helga about the sensitive topic he knew he had to bring up for his friends' sake. As important as it was to them, he wasn't sure he was willing to risk this great thing he had going with Helga for the sake of everyone else.

Was that being selfish of him, he wondered to himself. Was it selfish to want to keep this nice Helga all to himself and not share her with everyone else? He was so enjoying the time they shared together and the relationship they were building with every day that went by that they shared. But with a deep breath, he knew in his heart of hearts what he had to do, and he adjusted in his seat before struggling to do the right thing.

"Helga, the other day I brought something up, and you kind of avoided telling me an answer." He said quietly and Helga raised her brow at this.

"Oh?" She said, "And what was it that I didn't answer?" She asked, knowing all too well what it was he was talking about.

"You see," Arnold began again, his hands wringing together in his lap in anxiety, "our friends sort of brought it up to me again today and I realized that I hadn't been persistent enough in trying to get it out of you. I realized that I'd been too focused on us and that has been really selfish of me."

"Selfish, huh." Helga stated while crossing her arms over her chest, "doesn't SOUND very selfish to me."

"Well it has been," Arnold said sadly, "because I haven't been thinking of the good of our classmates and frankly, well, neither have you."

Helga straightened her posture at his words and frowned. "Just what are you SAYING, huh, bucko?" She insisted with a pointer finger; her guard coming up slowly as Arnold continued on his quest of the right thing to do for the good of the people.

"What I'm trying to say is," Arnold tried before taking a deep breath and deciding to just come out with it, "your bullying is really getting out of control. I don't know if it's because you feel the need to because you aren't picking on me so much of the time anymore or what, but you're really hurting a lot of people's feelings and-"

"So what?" Helga said nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders. "So what about a few feelings? Aren't OUR feelings more important?"

"Nobody's feelings are more important than another person's, Helga," Arnold explained, "and I think that if you really tried, you could break the cycle of bullying and just-"

"Just WHAT, Arnold?" Helga fought back, her words growing harsh as she spoke. "Be some stick in the mud like you?"

"A stick in the mud? Really, Helga?" Arnold repeated and Helga sighed.

"That isn't what I meant-"

"Then what _did_ you mean?" Arnold asked, Helga trying to find a good excuse to get her out of this conversation while still salvaging their relatively-new relationship.

"What I MEANT to say is that I don't want to just be some NOBODY who gets pushed around all the time and picked on, okay? I don't want people to start SEEING me different just because we're together." She explained and Arnold nodded his head while disagreeing with her.

"I understand that, Helga, but I don't think that people will see you any different. Right now, they're just afraid of you. And is that what you really want? Is for people to be afraid of you?" He asked and Helga thought about this for a moment as Arnold frowned.

"You really have to think about this, Helga?" He asked and she held up a finger.

"It's a hard decision for me, okay?"

"To choose to be feared?" Arnold asked and Helga threw her arms in the air.

"Well what do you EXPECT, Arnold!? I've been like this my whole freakin' life in case you hadn't figured that out yet!" She exclaimed and Arnold sighed while dropping his head into his hands.

"I knew this was a bad idea..." He muttered and Helga stood up from the couch to face him with her hands on her hips.

"What, BE with me?" She asked and Arnold snapped his head up to look at her.

"No, Helga, that's not what I said-"

"You've said enough for my liking, _pal_ ," Helga said with acidity in her tone and Arnold's eyes widened at her sudden change of tune. "Look, if you don't like me for who I am, JUST as I am—"

"But I do!" Arnold tried to explain, but Helga wasn't having it and just continued to speak over him.

"-then you have another thing coming ENTIRELY. I'm Helga G. Pataki, Shortman, and that means you get saddled with whatever baggage I have which, newsflash, is sort of a lot. And if I'm not ready to give up all my bullying yet just for you, then I'm sorry, but that's just the deal. I'll get there, but not at your moronic pushing or the pushing of our 'friends' either." She turned around to walk towards the door, Arnold standing up to try and stop her but without little luck.

"Helga..." He tried while reaching out for her, but she merely shook her hand at him to keep him at bay and took the doors handle into her hand.

"There's a lot more to me than you or even I know. And maybe we just aren't ready for this kind of commitment. Maybe Bob was right..." She said sadly, Arnold's throat closing in on him as a lump grew at the base of his esophagus.

"Helga, if you'd just listen-" He tried once more but Helga shook her head, her eyes now focused down on the ground.

"I'm done listening, Arnold," she muttered, her voice cracking as pools of tears started to well at the bottom of her line of vision. "Thanks for letting me be a part of your family. Even just for a little while."

"Helga... please..." Arnold begged while walking towards her, but before he could stop her in her tracks, she was gone, leaving Arnold to himself in his room as Helga walked away from him for what he felt like would be forever.

* * *

Much to Arnold's surprise, Helga didn't resume her tyranny on their classmates or himself, but chose to ignore everyone instead after their big fight. Even though Arnold tried to reach out to her, she wouldn't budge and he found that every day which went by that he didn't spend talking to her or even being picked on by her or her casual nicknames, was a day wasted. It made him feel sick. It made him itch from the inside out and while his friends were satiated by Arnold's taking action, Arnold couldn't have felt any worse.

Sure, he'd finally gotten Helga to stop, but at what cost?

Helga had stopped talking to him. She'd stopped entertaining at games and other events the kids had planned. She'd even stopped coming over. It was like she'd stopped existing towards him completely and the whole thing felt like it was breaking his heart just as it was starting to become full once again.

Even the boarders and his parents were saddened by the lack-of-Helga in their lives, and it didn't take long for them to say something at the next family dinner in hopes to get something out of their son.

Arnold picked at his food on his plate while supporting his head by his hand and sighed, his parents exchanging a look before Miles cleared his throat and spoke up.

"How are you doing champ? You've seemed a bit down since Helga stopped coming over." He said and Arnold shrugged his shoulders while continuing to play with his food rather than eat it.

"I guess I'm just disappointed is all," he replied, his eyes downcast on the mashed potatoes, green beans and meat loaf that they were having that night.

"Disappointed in what?" Stella asked. "Surely not yourself..."

Arnold looked up then at his parents, his eyes sad and lost in the world around him. "Of course in myself. If I hadn't brought up the subject about Helga's bullying, she wouldn't have gotten so mad at me and stopped talking to me altogether."

"Her reaction isn't your fault, Arnold," Miles said understandingly, his voice calm and rational, "we can only control our own reactions, unfortunately."

"I just wish I had tried to bring it up some other way. I just thought that since we'd had a good night, maybe she'd be up to listening to me... but she never even gave me a chance." Arnold explained before turning his head back towards his food, his parents continuing to eat their own as they silently talked with their eyes about how to handle this sensitive subject.

After some eye-dodging and a head nod or two, Miles spoke up, trying to give the best advice he could.

"You know, Arnold, when it comes to Helga's bullying, you may have some more experience with it than us, but she seems to need it more than you might understand." He said, Stella nodding her head in agreement.

"She's a very sweet girl. Incredibly intelligent and has a heart of gold-"

"Exactly!" Arnold exclaimed as Stella held up a finger to try and finish her sentence.

"But that doesn't give her the right to act out against you or your friends."

Arnold nodded his head. "I know," he said, "If it means anything, she's stopped completely. But at the same token, she's stopped joining us at Gerald field for our weekly games and she doesn't talk to anyone anymore, not even Phoebe, Gerald told me."

"I wonder if she's journaling..." Miles muttered and Stella eyed him from across the table though Arnold hadn't caught his statement.

"That's certainly her choice, honey," Stella said, "but I think Helga will come around. You just have to give her some time."

"And what if she doesn't?"

Both of Arnold's parents shared a look before turning to face their child once more and sighing, knowing they couldn't give him an answer to his question. Predicting people was too hard, but predicting how we would feel was even harder, they knew that. All they could offer Arnold were words of encouragement as he struggled with his feelings towards Helga and knew there was nothing they could say that would indefinitely help him in the way that he needed- what he needed was Helga.

Meanwhile, Helga sat at the emporium, eating from a bag of cheese-os and staring at a blank sheet of paper.

"Nothing," she muttered to herself. "Nothing!" She couldn't find any more words to the heartbreak she felt of leaving Arnold the other day at his house. There was a hole in her heart that she'd never felt before at the absence of Arnold and an even bigger hole at the absence of his family that she'd become so accustomed to seeing most days. It had finally felt like she was part of a family, and now that family was gone. She was family-less. Again.

And now she didn't even have Arnold to fall back on.

"Oh, man, what do I DO?" She asked herself, feeling restless as she sat on a box in the corner of the emporium where she knew nobody would find her. "I COULD just go back and apologize... I mean... surely Arnold didn't WANT me to leave. He kept trying to tell me something but I was just so... so... MAD at him for bringing up the bullying thing. Jeez, I'm sure he's just STOKED that I've quit pestering everyone once and for all."

She spun around on the box to look out past the boxes and boxes of unopened beepers to see Bob working on another new display while Miriam lay on her usual bed of the couch zonked out once again.

"But maybe he ISN'T pleased with himself for getting me to quit bugging everyone. Maybe he's just as frustrated as I am even while I sit here miserable. I mean, sure, he has his family to keep him company where I have nobody, but maybe he's just as miserable as I am and wishing I'd come back. After all, we WERE getting pretty close..."

Helga shook her head while staring down at her feet. "No, that's ridiculous. Arnold doesn't care. If he CARED he would be trying to find YOU you ignoramus. He'd be calling the emporium or stopping by here or doing anything in his football-headed brain that he could think of just to get you back, wouldn't he?"

She thought about this for a while, her brain going this way and that at the possible situations that Arnold could be dealing with when it came to the two of them before she stood up from the box and brushed off any dirt from her skirt. "No, Helga," she said to herself definitively, "You aren't DOING this anymore. There's no more waiting for Arnold to come to you. You're a big girl, you can just as easily go over there and admit you messed up as he can come over here. After all, you WERE being pretty mean to everyone and for no real reason..." She marched her way on up towards the front of the store, grabbing her jacket from nearby and slipping it on.

"You're leaving?" Bob asked, unphased by her going out.

"Yeah," she said while opening the door.

"Are you coming back tonight?" He asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Probably," she answered before shutting the door behind her and making the walk to get to Arnold's house on this, their family dinner day.

She knew if she ran, she might make it in time for dessert and she soon found herself sprinting just to get to the boarding house in hopes that she would interrupt the meal so she could be reunited with the family she had come to love as if it were her own. Once she got there, she took a deep breath and made her way up the steps, pausing in front of the door.

"Okay Helga old girl, you can do this. All you have to do is apologize. It won't be so hard, just quick and painless like a band-aid. Surely you can shut your pride up long enough to do THAT," she pep talked herself before reaching out to knock on the door, but just as she did that, the door swung wide open and Arnold's face was the one that greeted her there, his eyes wide like saucers the moment he saw her.

"Helga?" He asked.

"A-Arnold..." She said and he smiled before reaching out to envelop her in an unexpected hug.

"I can't believe you came!" He said and as he hugged her, Helga saw the heads of his parents peek out from the kitchen, smiles on their faces before disappearing again to leave the two kids alone with one another.

"Well I had to apologize you dummy," Helga said as Arnold released her and he shook his head.

"You don't have to, I should have tried to reach out to you more but I was... I was-"

Helga raised a lone hand to stop him and decided to apologize anyway, wanting to do so before she lost her nerve. "Look, I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that," she began, "and better yet, I shouldn't have just stopped coming here and talking to you and going MIA the way I did, but I was hurt and I didn't know what to do with myself."

"I'm sorry you felt that way." Arnold said.

Helga shrugged her shoulders. "It's really fine. I realize now that... that I have to take charge of myself sometimes and that I'm the only one in control of my actions."

"Funny, I kind of realized the same thing too, today."

They stood out on the stoop for a moment, silence sitting between them like an elephant before Arnold shook his head and opened the door wider. "What are we doing standing outside like this," he said before stepping aside, "Mom made dessert and I was going to skip it but now that you're here, I'm sure you'd love to have some."

"Would I ever," Helga said with a grin before stepping inside the walls of her safe haven once more, the world fitting back into place like pieces of a puzzle finally finding their way back to each other.

And just like that, the hole inside Helga's heart finally filled back in and she knew that things were right with the world.

At least for now. And now was good enough.

* * *

 _ **hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it! be sure to leave me a REVIEW letting me know what you thought!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	7. Holidays

**SURPRISE!**

 **i know i said i was going to wait to post this until the 22nd, but i just couldn't wait so i figured i'd post today anyway :)**

 **Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Life resumed normalcy, or as normal as life could for Helga after that moment. She went back to talking to Arnold on a daily basis as well as holding hands once again, something she loved more than all else, and she went back to the weekly games at Gerald Field with all of their friends, though tried not to be as mean as she had previously been.

The whole thing had become a relief to Arnold, who was worried she might go back to her old ways of bullying once they were back together. But Helga stayed the same and while she kept her sassy remarks and sarcastic comments, her persistent bullying toned down and soon nobody was bothering Arnold to talk to her any more than he usually did about anything in particular.

Life seemed perfect, and the next few months went by without a hitch. Helga continued to come by on a mostly daily basis to help with dinner and to talk with Miles who she'd become rather close to- even helping him buy a cellphone and show him which buttons to press to get him to the right screens even if it was a challenge. The two parents were lost within the times and they needed some fresh guidance and Helga was just the person up for the task.

"So I press this home button?" Miles asked while holding the directions in one hand and adjusting his glasses with the other while the smartphone balanced on his lap.

"Yeah, that's not the home button, that's the back button." Helga said with a smirk and he nodded his head.

"Stella, we've been pressing the wrong button this whole time," Miles called out while Arnold and Stella worked on supper- a surprising twist to the usual ritual of their nightly routine.

"That explains the frustration," She hollered back and he chuckled to himself with a shake of his head.

"So what do I do next? How do I get to the internet?" He asked slowly, still not understanding the concept.

"You tap this button here," Helga guided with a point of her finger, "and that will take you there in a millisecond."

"Wow, this thing is fast!" He exclaimed and Helga agreed.

"Kind of the idea, but yeah, it's pretty quick," She said with a smile.

"Now, the instructions say here that I can get onto this thing called FaceNetwork? What is that?" He asked and Helga sighed, knowing this would be a challenge to explain.

"FaceNetwork is a social network, it's a place where you can post updates and photos and everything you can imagine for all your friends to see." She explained but Miles only turned his head and looked at her in confusion.

"My friends? Like Eduardo? How do they see it though?" He questioned and Helga reached up to rub at the bridge of her nose before answering.

"They see it through their timeline the same way you see theirs. But you have to create an account first." She said and he nodded his head before returning his attention to the phone in his hand.

"I don't just have one?" He asked and Helga laughed.

"No, uh, that'd be weird," She replied before tapping the screen to enter FaceNetwork and pointed to the create an account link. "Now tap that and set up through your email. You remember the email we set up, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, MilesIsStillHip13 ," he repeated and Helga rolled her eyes at his ridiculous name he'd picked out for himself.

"Right, well, just plug that in and then make up a password and then you'll be able to set up your account and all that jazz," she said and he nodded his head before turning to look at her with a raised brow. "What?" She asked and he smiled.

"How do you know all about this stuff? I thought your parents only sold beepers." He asked and Helga smirked while crossing her arms.

"Cellphones are a wave of the future. And I'm TRYING to get them to open up their eyes and see that. Besides, I'm a kid, and kids are just prone to knowing this kind of stuff for some reason," She explained and Miles chortled to himself before returning his gaze to his phone and plugging in the correct information to set up his FaceNetwork account.

"Okay, okay, I think I did it. I'm in," he said before calling out to the kitchen again, "Honey! I've just gotten into the FaceNetwork! Soon we'll be official friends!"

"That's great, sweetie!" She called back and then with a wink to Helga, he called out once more.

"Hey Arnold, how would you like to be friends with your dear old dad?" He asked and there was a pause in the kitchen before Arnold finally answered.

"Sure, dad. But how about you figure out all the ins and outs of the app first, okay?" He said and Miles sighed, not satisfied with Arnold's answered as he was hoping to embarrass him just a bit more. Slowly, he returned back to the phone and took a deep breath.

"So I'm in now, what do I do from here?"

Helga spent the next hour going through the app and training Miles on how to post pictures, statuses, and other nonsense so that he could later teach Stella on how to the same things. It wasn't that hard, and Miles made it fun to do so as he had a quick wit just like Helga did. She found that he was easy to talk to and even easier to hang out with. He was a cool dad- one that she was jealous Arnold had and she didn't. He was the kind of dad almost everyone wished they could have; supportive, kind, funny and caring all while being cool and laid-back while giving superior advice. Except he kept trying to make her step out of her poetry box and try that journaling thing. Maybe because Arnold wasn't a writer like she was. But that was just a theory.

Stella, however, was just an all-around great mom. She cared a lot and had a heart made of pure gold. She listened impeccably and had a smile that could stop a room. She was elegant, a hard worker, and kind- all the things her mom COULD be if she wasn't so addicted to her 'smoothies.' It was nice to be around a mom that was all the things she should be and more; a mom that genuinely cared about her child and wanted the best for them no matter the circumstances. While it was unfamiliar territories, she felt at home in the boarding house with the two of them, and to her, she felt like they had become surrogate parents to herself, something that shouldn't be necessary but was given the circumstances.

Soon, September came and went and October's leaves began to change along with the weather of Hillwood; the cold air sweeping through the city to bring along autumn which brought about Arnold's 12th birthday- a dilemma that Helga panicked about for days on end before finally finding him the perfect present; a notebook where she pasted a few pictures she'd taken while with Arnold and his family along with notes of memories they'd shared over the years, good and bad, old and new, that gave him a pretty good laugh. She even revealed a few kept secrets in there, secrets that she decided was high time the football-headed boy discovered the truth about on this, his 12th birthday. The secret of Cecile, the secret of finding Mai, along with a few others that brought a tear to young Arnold's eye as he read them. He was amazed at all the work and heart she'd put forth into this gift and he cherished it more than she even knew.

Next came Halloween which was just around the corner which Arnold and Helga would spend together trick-or-treating with their friends. Helga decided on going as a half-mummy, half ancient Egyptian goddess with help from Stella to make her costume, while Arnold went as the same thing, only half Pharaoh. They found it appropriate given their latest trip to the jungle and their experiences with the natives there and thought it would be a cool idea to mix and match their costumes together- something they'd never done but knew as a couple, they should do. Meanwhile, their friends all went as other typical horror creatures, Dracula, Freddy, Jason, all the regulars with a few creative ideas here and there.

Gerald and Phoebe even got into the mix and match idea with their Pop Daddy costumes, being the two lead characters from the show and it made Arnold and Helga feel less weird coming to Rhonda's soiree dressed as a pair of people rather than their own individual costumes. Thankfully, nobody paid mind to the four as they entered her mansion, all their friends already deep in the throws of the party. The only one mentioning anything being Lila who greeted them first when they all walked into the doors.

"Why hello! Don't you all look just ever so great," She said while clasping her hands in front of her chest, her costume being that of a princess of some sort. Seemed fitting to Helga.

"Thanks, Lila," Gerald said while scooping an arm around Phoebe. "You look pretty great yourself."

"Oh, thank you. Rhonda let me borrow a dress of hers as I didn't have a costume this year and she wouldn't let anyone in the door without a costume," She said with a down expression and Arnold chimed in to try and make her feel better- something he did best.

"Well I think you look great," He said, Helga turning to glare at him and he felt her eyes on his face as it grew hot at her gaze. "H-how do you like our costumes? They were all Helga's idea." He said suddenly and Helga turned her eyes off of Arnold to look at Lila awaiting a response.

"They look just ever so creative. I'm sure you put a lot of work into them." She responded and Helga nodded her head.

"Yeah, yeah, enough talk," She said while reaching for Arnold's hand. "Is there a punch bowl around here? I'm parched," She said and Lila pointed in the direction of the living room where a group of people were dancing to loud music.

"Over there by the bobbing for apples station," Lila said.

"Thanks," Helga replied while pulling Arnold's arm to escape Lila and her 'ever so's in lieu of the actual party they'd come here for.

"What was THAT, Arnoldo?" Helga asked once they'd reached the punch bowl and Arnold raised a brow at her.

"What was what?" He asked and Helga dropped the ladle into the bowl and turned to face him with one hand on her hip as the other held the glass full of punch.

"That compliment. What were you doing, trying to get with her or something?" She asked and Arnold smirked.

"What are you, jealous or something? I came to the party with you, I was just trying to make her feel better about her costume." He replied and Helga's face dropped as she realized just how jealous she sounded.

"Oh..." She said and Arnold reached over for her hand that was on her hip.

"You have nothing to be worried about," he said, "I don't feel that way about Lila anymore. Just about you. I promise."

Helga's cheeks flushed at his statement as she raised her brow and squeezed his hand. "Really?" she asked and he nodded his head.

"Really, really." He replied and he nodded his head toward the bucket of apples just beside them. "Bet I can get more apples than you."

"Bet you you're way WRONG, football-head," she challenged and soon they were bobbing for apples at Rhonda's party without a care in the world.

As the Halloween décor faded into that of Thanksgiving, Helga prepared for her sister's return, knowing that her family disaster would be soon in the making and she wouldn't be able to get out of it this time. She knew that there wouldn't be any way to escape by running to Arnold's house this go around and she'd just have to stick it out with her family until after the Christmas season was over. But that didn't stop the Shortmans from trying to get her out of her family traditions by starting new ones with them. She just wished she could attend.

"You know, Helga, if you wanted, you could certainly join us for the holiday season this year," Stella offered one evening and the boarders nodded their heads in agreement.

"Yeah! We do a Secret Santa every year, even though Oskar always tries to fill the pot with his name-" Ernie said and Oskar glared at him from across the table.

"I do not!" He defended but Ernie merely rolled his eyes as Mr. Hyunh took over talking.

"And Mai comes over and play holiday tunes for us. It great fun!" He said.

"And this year," Stella said grandly, "Gertie and I will be making a big turkey and ham for everyone. There will be plenty of food to go around. You could even invite your family if you wanted. Everyone is invited," She pressed but Helga laughed at the idea and shook her head.

"If it's one thing I'm NOT doing, it's inviting my family to the one place that feel like home to me," she blurted out, and the boarders all shared a sad look, "besides, I doubt I'll get out of Christmas with them. I doubt I'll get out of Thanksgiving with them. I don't even know what we're gonna DO for anything being at the emporium and all."

"That's why you should invite them here, Helga," Arnold offered again. "Olga isn't so bad. And we can handle your parents."

"I don't know if you can. We sort of... they sort of... have their own plans. And they're crazy." She explained as the boarders and company all leaned in waiting for her to explain further. With a deep breath, Helga sighed and went on. "Dad made a key for the old house. He plans to infiltrate the place for Thanksgiving and hopefully Christmas to put on a show for Olga since she doesn't know we're living at the emporium."

"Are you kidding?" Miles asked with a concerned brow as Helga shook her head. "That sounds... insane."

"Well that's my family," Helga said while picking up more of her food and eating it before swallowing and continuing. "Then they'll do what they usually do. Mom will burn the stuffing, Bob will set up all the trophies and everything to make it LOOK like we've been living there the whole time and Olga will swoop in to save the day like she USUALLY does and we'll have a Thanksgiving after all. Same with Christmas. It's always the same."

"Well can't you get out of one of them?" Arnold pressed while looking to his parents. "How about Christmas? I'd really, _really_ like for you to be here at Christmas."

"Why?" She asked and Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck while he was put on the spot.

"I uh... I just think it would be good for you to have one good holiday. And Christmas is the best of all. That's all." He explained and Helga nodded her head, not buying it but pretending to.

"Well I'll try, but no promises." She said and that's exactly what she did.

Thanksgiving was a bust, just as she had imagined. Her parents successfully shut down her suggestion of spending the holiday at the boarding house and instead followed through with their bogus idea of trying to make their old house look like they'd been living in it all along. They worked on it the entire night before Olga was to show up, and with a lot of elbow-grease, the place looked as though they had really been there the entire time. Helga was slightly impressed, but it didn't last long.

The next day, things went exactly as they had every year before. Miriam burned the stuffing, Bob sat and pretended to watch TV (though he mostly slept as they didn't have cable at their not-so-house home) and Olga came by in her perfect mood to try and fix everything the way she usually did, so all things considered, it was a perfect Thanksgiving in her parents' eyes.

Being as Christmas was so close to Thanksgiving, they left everything in the house and simply returned with the recliner and couch for Bob and Miriam's beds; Helga's sleeping bag still on the ground of the empire.

But as Helga lay on her make-shift bed at night, she thought about Arnold's offer, about everyone's offer to join them at Christmas and how important it had seemed that she be there. Secret Santa. Holiday tunes. Enough food to stuff her face with until she burst at the seams. The whole thing sounded spectacular and she wanted to join in on the festivities more than anything. The only question was how?

* * *

 _Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, throw cares away..._

Christmas music filled the air of the old Pataki residence on the battery-powered boombox that Miriam had scrounged up from the emporium. She didn't know how they were getting any sort of electric to cook any food, but Helga knew her dad had connections so she didn't ask any questions as her mom cooked in the kitchen as Olga prepared cookies on the counter laughing along with their mother as they made food for the holiday.

Meanwhile, Helga stayed in her old room, void of a bed or anything else as no one would be visiting the old bedroom during this particular day. She sat on the floor, brainstorming of any way that she could get out of this day, get out of this horrible holiday at her house and find her way back to Arnold's house, even though she wasn't entirely sure what was in store for her there and why he wanted her there so badly. Or why Miles and Stella wanted her there so badly either.

" _So... Christmas," Miles said one day after Thanksgiving, Helga chuckling at his lack of subtly._

" _What, you're gonna pressure me to show up too? You and your son, man. What's so great about having Christmas here anyway? You haven't even been here in ages..." She said and Miles nodded his head, agreeing with her statement._

" _That's true, but, it's our first Christmas here and we'd love to share it with our family and as far as Stella and I are concerned, you've become part of that family." He said, and Helga tried not to beam at his statement. It was all she'd ever wanted was to be part of a family, and now she was, officially._

" _Well thank you," Helga thanked earnestly, her smile sincere as she looked at Miles. "I guess I just really appreciate all you guys have done for me in accepting me into your household."_

" _You are one of the main reasons Arnold found us in the first place, you know," Miles reminded her and she nodded her head, "And besides, maybe we just have a great present to give you or something."_

" _A present?" She repeated and he grinned from where he sat as Stella entered the room._

" _Oh Miles, don't tell me you already told her about the present..." She said and Miles covered his mouth in mock shock as Stella sighed. "It was supposed to be a surprise..."_

" _Really," Helga said, "You two didn't have to get me anything."_

" _But we wanted to. And we'd really like for you to be here to accept it," Stella said with a smile and Helga nodded her head._

" _I'll try, I really will. Because honestly? I'd much rather be here with you guys. And Arnold." She added, knowing that he was the real reason she wanted to be anywhere._

So it was that gift. It had to be the reason why they wanted her there so badly. But what on earth could they have gotten her? It wasn't like she needed anything, and all the things she needed, they'd provided for her- a home, a family, their son, they'd unknowingly given her everything that she could ever ask for and now they wanted to give her something more? They had to be the most wonderful people on the entire planet.

And she had to get to the boarding house to find out what was in that gift.

"But how? How, Helga, how?" She asked herself from where she sat on the floor, the scent of baking cookies wafting in the air.

"I guess I could be blunt," She thought aloud while laying down on the carpeted floor while resting her hands on her stomach. "I COULD just grab my coat and head for the door. But I'm sure Olga won't let me out the door let alone go to Arnold's house... especially on Christmas."

Helga tapped her fingers on her stomach rhythmically while chewing on her lip. "I could sneak out. That's always worked for me before..." She continued thinking aloud, the idea making her sit up straight from the floor in a burst of genius. "That's it! I could sneak out of the window, down the fire escape, and run to Arnold's place. It isn't like they'd miss me. Maybe Olga would, but all it would take is a mere mention of her life outside of Hillwood and she'll forget ALL about me..." The idea sounded appealing to her; sounded like it could work if she did it just right.

So without hesitation, she pushed herself up to stand and made her way to the window and opened it up to reveal the cool air of winter that swarmed around her the moment the gust was revealed to her. Taking a step back from the wind, she took a breath, looked around herself, and then stepped outside the window to safely stand onto the fire escape; her escape almost halfway complete.

Once she was outside, she pulled the window closed, and then, chilled without her jacket, pulled her arms around herself and began making her way down the ladder to hop onto the ground and make her way as quickly as possible through the winter storm towards the boarding house.

The air gusted around her, its bitter cold piercing her skin like pinpricks of sharp needles constantly bugging her flesh. She pulled her arms closer to her, as if the mere action would somehow keep her warmer against the storm though she knew it wouldn't. _Just a few more blocks,_ she kept telling herself, _just a few more blocks and you'll be there. In the warmth. With Arnold's parents. With Arnold._ She focused on his face, she focused on his features, his every wrinkle when he smiled and his soft eyes as they looked at her whenever she was near. She kept him close in her mind, no matter what she had to endure in that cold, and before she knew it, she was there at the boarding house doors, anxious to get inside and away from the chill of the air that surrounded her.

 _Knock, knock, knock_ she rapped on the door, the sound of mumbled voices calling for someone to answer the door before Miles came to the door, a smile beaming on his face as he saw Helga standing on the stoop of the boarding house.

"Helga!" He exclaimed, his ugly Christmas vest blinding her eyes momentarily as she adjusted to the light from within; the warmth from inside the house spreading to slightly warm the nearly frozen girl. "I didn't think you'd make it!"

"Well, here I-I am," Helga chattered out and Miles noticed her lack of jacket and immediately grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her inside.

"You must be freezing! Did you walk here?" He asked while closing the door behind them once she was inside and she nodded her head, still shivering from the cold she'd endured on her walk there.

"Y-Yeah. It wa-was the only w-way I c-c-could get he-here without cau-causing suspicion." She explained and he nodded his head while guiding her to the living room where a beautiful tree was lit up and the boarders were all sitting in various spots unopening gifts while laughing and smiling at each other- a rare occasion for the boarders but they all must have had the Christmas spirit within them.

"Look who's come by to join us, everyone!" Miles announced while presenting Helga, Arnold jumping up from the couch to run to her and wrap his arms around her.

"Helga!" He said before pulling away from her. "I can't believe you made it!"

Helga chuckled and nodded her head. "Yeah, me uh... me either, honestly." She said, finally warming up from being outside. "What are you all doing?" She asked while looking around the room, eyeing each of the boarders as they opened their presents.

"We're doing our Secret Santa, we always do it before dinner and then open actual presents after. Speaking of which..." Arnold said before reaching under the tree and grabbing a present wrapped in brightly festive paper. "This one's for you." He said and Helga raised a brow.

"But I didn't participate," Helga said. "I didn't bring anything for anybody so how could I have a Secret Santa?"

Arnold grinned. "Guess it'll just have to be a secret then, won't it?"

Helga rolled her eyes before unwrapping it and seeing a slender box, before opening up the box to reveal a bright pink pen with a poof of fuzz at the top, making her chuckle. "Wow. This is... quite the pen," She noted and Arnold nodded his head.

"It isn't much, but, your Secret Santa thought you might use it." He said with a wink and Helga slapped his arm and laughed.

"You aren't fooling anyone, Arnoldo," She said, "But thank you, really. You didn't have to get me anything."

"Well I wanted to. And as soon as I saw it, I thought of you." the blonde boy said with a grin and Helga pulled him into her and kissed his cheek softly.

"Thank you, Arnold. I love it. And trust me, it'll get it's use out." She promised and he nodded his head.

"I'm sure it will." He agreed. "Now c'mon, most everyone is done with their gifts, so it's time for dinner. You ready for some great food? Mom and Grandma have been hard at work all day."

"Ready? I'm starved," Helga said with a laugh and the two of them grabbed each other's hands and headed into the kitchen, ready to shove some well-cooked food into their gullets in celebration at the holiday and most importantly at spending the holidays together.

* * *

"I just can't believe you cooked all that!" Helga exclaimed while flopping onto the couch completely stuffed full of food, Arnold sitting beside her equally full.

"You did a great job, Mom, Grandma. This has to be the best Christmas yet." Arnold said with a smile.

"The best because we're all together," Miles said while reaching out to ruffle his son's hair and Arnold nodded his head.

"Finally," he said. "I couldn't ask for a better Christmas gift."

Stella walked in to the room while wiping her hands on a towel and smiled. "Neither could we, but we got you something anyway. It's under the tree," She said and Arnold crawled onto the floor to pick up the gift that was sitting on the tree skirt and set it on his lap.

"What is it?" He asked and his parents laughed.

"Well open it up, silly," Stella encouraged and Arnold ripped the paper off to reveal a matching Christmas sweater and laughed while quickly slipping it over his head to wear with his parents.

rolled her eyes before taking the present from Arnold.

"I love it. And it's really warm!" He said surprised and his parents laughed as Arnold reached into the tree and pulled out a small box that he'd hidden there for this particular occasion. Walking up to Helga, he handed her the box and offered her a warm smile.

"This one is definitely from me," he announced and Helga raised a brow.

"But you already got me something," She said and Arnold shook his head with his smile still plastered on his face.

"That was just as your Secret Santa. This is from me to you. And I think you're really going to like it." He proudly told her and she reached for the box from his hands before tentatively opening it to reveal a white box that she lifted the top from only to drop her jaw at the contents inside.

"Arnold," she gasped while pulling out the locket; both hers and Arnold's faces staring up at her through the glass.

"I thought since your locket might be scuffed from its use in the jungle, you might be needing a new one. An updated one." He explained and Helga tried to fight back the tears that were welling in her eyes.

"Arnold, it's... it's... I don't know what to say." she managed and Arnold set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

"Merry Christmas, Helga," He said and she smiled over at him while holding the locket up to her chest.

"Thank you, Arnold. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I think I have an idea," He replied with a sly smile and Helga blushed at his comment.

Miles stood up then from the couch where he had been sitting with Stella and moved to wander towards the tree, soon spotting another gift under the tree, one that was hiding just beside where Arnold's had been and he pulled it out to look at the nametag and eyed Helga. "This ones for you, Helga. It says it's from Santa." He said with a wiggle of his brow and Helga smirked.

"Santa, huh? Really?" She said while eyeing Arnold's parents who were standing beside each other with their arms wrapped around each other.

"Some traditions are worth keeping, don't you think?" Miles asked and Helga

"I can't accept this, I really can't," Helga said while offering the small gift back but they refused to take it and shook their heads.

"You really can, and you will," Miles said definitively. "Just open it, for us, okay?" He asked and with a sigh, Helga looked down at the gift and turned it over to begin unwrapping the paper.

"Well, here goes nothing," She said, before opening the gift to reveal a leather-bound journal that looked identical, only black, to the one Arnold had carried around in the depths of the jungle that had belonged to Miles all those years ago. On the front cover, it said 'Journal' and had a latch on the side that connected to a magnet around the front to keep it closed. Helga stared at the journal, her hand gliding over the smooth leather as she did so, her eyes wide. "A journal?" She asked before looking up at Miles and Stella, their faces proud and smiling down at her.

"You said that you wanted to find the right journal before you started journaling, didn't you? Well, what better journal than this?" Miles asked and Helga held the journal close to her chest while smiling up at him.

"Thank you," She said softly, "Thank you so much," she said. "And now I've got a journal and a pen to write with. Maybe I'll try this journaling thing after all." Helga said with a laugh and the boarding house erupted in laughter, the sounds of the joy filling the house, a sound Helga had never heard before in an entire household since as far back as she remembered.

Had leaving her house during Christmas been worth it? Had choosing to go to Arnold's place been worth it over staying at the Pataki household and living through another predictable Christmas like she'd lived through so many times before?

It had. And Helga couldn't be happier as she held her new journal and pen in her hands. And for the first time in her life, she couldn't wait to begin writing down her actual thoughts down on paper. Maybe she'd look back on this day years in the future and laugh at the start of something new she'd never have expected. Maybe Miles was right and maybe journaling could help her savor her new life with Arnold even more than she already was.

Because if that were the case and if this journal could be like a little time capsule for Helga to remember all these small moments of life that she wanted to remember one day far in the future when Arnold and her were married and happy with children, she'd want to have them written down. And with new pen and papers in hand, she knew that was exactly what she wanted and was going to do.

* * *

 _ **Woohoo! Longest chapter yet! We've finally made it to the chaapter I've been waiting to get to and the crux of the story that i've been waiting to approach so here we are! please PLEASE let me know what you think by leaving me a REVIEW!**_

 _ **and have a happy holidays!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	8. Entry 1

**_if there was any confusion about the last chapter or where this story was headed, I hope that after reading this chapter, you will see where it is that I am heading and what this story is going to look like. the last 7 chapters have been a lead-up to this so I hope you enjoy it!_**

* * *

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Is that even how you're supposed to start these things? I've never done anything like this before and my best knowledge of journaling comes from the Diary of Anne Frank which I read for fun a few years back. I guess I could introduce myself so that years later I could know where I started when I began this crazy journey of journaling, all thanks to Miles and Stella and their incessant trying to get me to do this._

 _So I'm Helga- Helga G. Pataki. I'm 11 years old and in the sixth grade. Not too shabby, I must say. I currently live at the beeper emporium with Bob and Miriam, my parents, and I absolutely hate it more than words can even describe. Which is probably the reason why I hang out at Arnold's place so much._

Arnold... I should talk about Arnold. After all, this thing IS private anyway, isn't it? Helga asked herself before chewing on her pen a bit and continuing to write down her thoughts.

 _Arnold is a special kid. Not only is he the kindest, most generous person I know, but he's sort of my boyfriend, even though we've never discussed titles or anything like that, as much as I wished we would. For so many years, that kid suffered through bullying after bullying on my part without even batting an eye and that takes a strong person to do that; to shake off someone's supposed hate for another without a good reason._

 _But I had a good reason,_ Helga continued to jot down, _he knows that NOW but part of me still fears that he thinks I'm still that fireball of a person and that he'll never see the true me hiding behind the mask of lies I put on every morning just to get through school. _

Helga sighed, playing with the pen between her fingers before going on. _The thing with Arnold is that he sees right through that mask. Somehow, he's always been able to. And maybe that's just blind optimism Eugene-style, but I truly think he can see the warm, sensitive side I hide in my core of cores waiting to be let out of the chains I'd bound them in for fear of getting hurt. Ever since preschool, I've known just how to act to get people to lay off of me, but at what cost? I felt horribly alone and guarded.. until meeting Arnold's parents and finally being with Arnold the way I'd always hoped we'd be. It was like he had become my savior and his parents my own personal saints. They'd saved me form myself, and maybe this journal was just their way of trying to show further- the gift of words that they knew I had to let out somewhere as I had such problems telling others about my home life._

 _I mean, c'mon! Who wanted to be brought down by my sad life ANYWAY_ Helga asked herself, thinking about this harder before turning the page and beginning again on the next page of fresh stationary.

 _I guess I think that this journal is supposed to be my way of coping with life, and talking about all the exciting things that happen in my day to day experiences with not only Arnold and his family, but other stuff too, so one day I can look back at it and laugh or cry, or do any of the other stupid stuff adults do when they go to reminisce about the good ole' days. Back when it was so simple, even if it doesn't feel simple now. In fact, it feels pretty dang HARD right now. Avoiding my parents... using Arnold's parents as my own instead... spending every waking moment wondering what adventures are in store for Arnold and I today rather than what homework I have to get done or assignments that have to be turned in. Everything seems so minuscule compared to the things I'll have to worry about when I get older, the things that Miriam and Bob seem to fight about on a daily basis._

 _Where will my money come from? Will I have enough to pay my bills? Will I be able to keep a steady job?_ The questions of her future adult self roamed in her head as she questioned her journal about all the things that could go wrong if she didn't have the right support system, but she knew... she knew that she didn't have to go through it all alone as long as she had Arnold. And he seemed like he was in it for the long-haul.

 _Oh Arnold,_ she wrote, _How I adore you and your emerald eyes as they stare back at me in the light of the moon and stars. How I admire you for all you've done for me, by accepting me into your home when there are plenty others just dying to meet your parents and spend the quality time you've so kindly given up for me... And while I know you might not be ready to say those three words aloud, I know you feel some sort of connection too between us ad that is the most important thing of all._

 _Emotions can grow. Feelings can develop. And as long as I'm here, I'll never stop trying to win you over, football-head. I'll never give up on you or us for as long as I live. Now, after everything we've been through, I know your feelings and after the sharing of our sweetest first genuine kiss, I can't wait until our very next one, whenever it shall be._

 _But until then, football-head, I bid you adieu as Bob is hollering for me to order chinese take-out again. Third time this week. Wish I could stop by at your place again for dinner, but I'm sort of in trouble for skipping out on Christmas._

 _But don't worry- it was all worth it._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

 _._

* * *

 _Heyyo,_

 _So guess who's still 'grounded?' That's right, this girl. My parents really have it in for me this time around. They don't want me going to Arnold's place anymore, at least for the time being, but that isn't stopping me, oh no. I've snuck out on the few occasion just to make it to the boarding house at LEAST for family dinner night- that's one thing I'm NOT willing to miss._

 _Speaking of things I'm not willing to miss, there's Arnold. It's hard not seeing him almost every day after school, but, and I never thought I'd say this, thank GOD for school. If it wasn't for that horrible place, I'd never get to see the kid and that's one place that my stupid parents CAN'T ground me from, thankfully. I mean, I guess they COULD, but they wouldn't dare. It's the only time they can get rid of me for a little while and I think they're getting sick of me being around 24/7. So needless to say, I doubt this grounding thing will last all that much longer._

 _Olga called today, and by called, I mean called on Dad's NEW smart phone. That's right- dad broke down and bought himself a SMART PHONE, believe it or not. I think he's starting to realize that there isn't getting around it much longer. Maybe he'll finally change his mind about the stupid beeper business after all. Not thanks to me, of course, Oh no. It was all thanks to_ Ol _ga and her precious idea like she was the first one to have it and all. "Oh daddy," she said, "why not try and get into the cellphone business? I'm sure the emporium would sell out within the day!"_

 _Criminy, it's like the girl is out to get me without even knowing it._

 _In other news, Miles and Stella are finally adjusting to their new life. I think they've pretty much gotten the hang of their lives and the future technology of everything that they've missed, even if it doesn't make much sense to them. I feel kinda bad for them, being so out of the loop and all. I can't imagine being asleep for ten years only to wake up and find that the entire world had changed around me, including my own son who had grown up without me there. They have so much catching up to do._

 _But Arnold seems up to the task. He doesn't seem to care that they've missed so much, and I'm just happy for him that he finally has his parents back. They do everything together now as if they could re-disappear at any minute again. I guess that's how you should live your life though; like anything can happen at any time. There's a lot to learn from a situation like that. I just wished that my parents would disappear so I could find some reason to appreciate them or something._

 _Maybe that's bad to say. Maybe I should appreciate them while they're still here, but I just can't. They could care less about me and while I know that SOMEWHERE inside them, they care about me as they've shown it on a few occasions, they certainly don't know how to show it unless they're talking about Olga. I miss the feeling of having parents who care, especially my mom like when she'd taken over the beeper empire. For at least those few weeks, she was the perfect mom- a mom that I could talk to and spend time with like I'd always wanted to. But these days she was just the same old Miriam- addicted to her 'smoothies' and sleeping on the couch while Bob obsessed over his beepers as if somebody would come in and buy the rest of his supply any day now._

 _They were exhausting parents, and I can hardly handle it anymore._

 _At least when I'm around Miles and Stella, I know that they're always listening and care about what it is that I have to say. They're the complete opposite of my parents and the more I spend time with them, the more I realize that. I hate for the day that they actually meet... how embarrassing THAT will be. And it's only a matter of time. Parent teacher conferences are coming up soon and I'm sure they'll bump into each other there with my luck and then Miles and Stella will see just where it is that I come from and maybe they'll not want me around their son anymore. Maybe it'll change their minds about the kind of person I am and maybe I'll be exiled from their home which would effectively break my heart._

 _No, Helga. They wouldn't do that to you. They LIKE you. If they didn't like you, they wouldn't invite you over all the time and spend time with you the way they do, even Arnold said so himself. What are you so worried about?_

 _Oh, that's right, you're worried about losing the closest thing to a family you've ever had. Doi._

 _Utterly Worried,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _At long last!_

 _I'm not grounded anymore! Well, not officially at least. See, with my parents, they don't ever TELL me "you're no longer grounded," they sort of just stop trying to outlaw me from leaving the house. It's like they forget that they grounded me in the first place and just let me be to do my thing, which is fine by me. So first thing I did when I got home was changed my clothes and headed over to the boarding house under the guise that I had a project to work on with Arnold and left without a fight._

 _As soon as I got there, I was welcomed with open arms and praise that I had finally been let free of my sentencing. "You're a free woman now, huh Helga?" Miles asked me and I nodded my head._

 _"Free as a bird," I responded, a smile on my face as Arnold came down the stairs to greet me._

" _Helga! I didn't think you'd be over tonight!" He exclaimed and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _Guess I'm not a ward of the empire anymore so here I am. Hope that's not a problem." I stated and Arnold shook his head._

" _Of course not. I'm glad to see you over here again besides on family night. I've missed you."_

 _This, of course, made me blush brighter than a hot-pink valentine and I offered him a smile. "I missed you too, football-head."_

" _Aww, look at our babies," Stella cooed and it was Arnold's turn to blush._

" _Mom..." he scolded and she held her hands up in surrender._

" _Sorry, honey. I'm just so happy to see you two together again in the house. It's been so quiet without Helga around." She said and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _Glad to be of service," I said and Miles let out a laugh._

" _I guess you'll have to call Gerald now and let him know Helga's over, won't you, son?" Miles said and my eyes widened._

 _Gerald? I thought. I didn't realize that he had other plans. Of course, I HAD surprised him, but I hadn't thought that he had made other plans. Of COURSE he had made other plans. Arnold wasn't a hermit like I had become. I wasn't the only person in his life._

" _Gerald can still come over. It'll be fun, won't it, Helga?" Arnold asked me and I found myself caught in a position I wasn't particularly comfortable with. Gerald? My arch-nemesis? Okay, maybe that was being a bit dramatic, he wasn't like my evil counterpart or anything, but Gerald and I had never been known to get along, and Arnold knew this. So why was he suddenly trying to get us to hang out with each other? Was this some kind of ulterior motive of his? Trying to get us to be FRIENDS or something?_

 _Anyway, we waited in Arnold's room for a while, joking and talking like we usually did until Gerald finally showed up and the tension in the room was immediate the moment he walked in._

" _Hey Gerald," Arnold greeted as Gerald stood dumbfounded in the doorway._

" _Hey...Arnold...Helga..." he said slowly before pointing at me and then saying. "What's SHE doing here?"_

 _I crossed my arms and frowned. "What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm allowed over here you know." I said and Gerald nodded his head._

" _Right, but tonight was supposed to just be me and Arnold. Not you." He said fiercely and Arnold held his hands up to stop him._

" _Helga showed up to surprise me today and I thought the three of us could just hangout tonight. Is that okay?"_

 _Gerald paused for a moment, thinking this through but ultimately deciding not to fight with Arnold. "Uh... sure. Why not." He finally said before moving to take a seat on the couch while Arnold and I sat on his bed. "So what are we supposed to do?"_

" _We could go see a movie," Arnold suggested and Gerald rolled his eyes._

" _Right, because_ I _wanna be the third wheel in THIS situation," he said sarcastically and Arnold frowned._

" _Gerald..." He said and Gerald frowned back at him._

" _What, man? That's what it would be like. That's what this whole DEAL is gonna be like."_

" _So here's an idea," I chimed in, "what about you invite Phoebe? I know for a fact that tonight is the night she finishes her homework early."_

" _And how do you know THAT?" Gerald asked._

 _"Uh... because I'm her BEST FRIEND, remember?" I reminded him and he nodded his head before gesturing to the phone._

" _Fine, then give her a call."_

" _Oh no," I said with a sly smile, "YOU call her. I'm sure she'll say yes to you. And besides, what kind of double date would this be if_ I _asked her out, huh?"_

 _Gerald sighed, knowing I was right and picked up the phone beside him to dial her number into the phone and waited as it rang. "Hello?" He asked, a pause on her end of the line as she responded. "Well I was wondering if you wanted to go to a movie tonight." Pause. "Yeah with uh... with Arnold and Helga." Pause. "Like a double date or whatever." Pause. "You will?" Pause. "Great! We uh.. how about you meet us there in like fifteen?" Pause. "Cool, we'll see you there."_

 _And that was the set up to my first official double date with my best friend and her tall haired weirdo. We went to see Evil Twin 4: Curse of the Triplet, something that Phoebe wasn't TOO keen on seeing, but went along with anyway and the movie was alright, but I was mostly just happy to hold Arnold's hand the whole time and share popcorn with him. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be what with Gerald being there the entire time. And I was thankful for Phoebe being there because it made the whole thing less awkward. Gerald and I hadn't been around Arnold alone since our trip to the jungle and while Gerald had cut me some slack since then, it wasn't like we were friends or anything. And I was still a little mad at him for telling Phoebe about Arnold and mine's kiss before I could._

 _But I am trying to let bygones be bygones and all. Maybe Gerald had his reasons and I just don't know what they are. Either way, it was a fun night and the whole thing ended with a wonderful kiss between Arnold and I, something I didn't think would ever happen again as much as I wished it would. His lips were just as sweet as the last time we'd kissed and even though it had to happen on the steps of the beeper emporium, the world seemed to melt away the moment our lips touched and the world was at peace._

 _Criminy, I sure love that weird-headed kid._

 _Completely Lovestruck,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

Helga sat down in her lair in the basement of the emporium and pulled out the journal that Miles and Stella had given her, tears streaming down her face. Shakily, she picked up the pen Arnold had given her and touched the pen to the fresh sheet of paper and began writing as fast as she could, not even bothering to address the paper this time around.

 _Arnold, oh sweet, dear Arnold. How could I have blown up at you? How could I have let my family get to you and your kind nature when it is I who should have to deal with the burden of them and their hostility? You certainly don't deserve having to deal with the aftermath of their harsh words, and yet, I've allowed my feelings to get the better of me and taken it all out on you. Can you ever forgive me? Can you ever understand that it isn't me who spoke those horrible words to you and it was instead the hurt side of me who unleashed my anger upon you in a most unforgiving way?_

Helga shook her head while sighing and wiping away some of the tears that strayed from her eyes to slide down her cheeks.

 _Let me explain._

 _Today I went to Arnold's house again, but this time it was because I'd gotten into another fight with Bob. He'd blamed me for denting one of Olga's trophies while moving a box that I'd dropped because the dang thing was heavier than an ox. Anyway, he yelled and hollered at me and read me the riot act calling me a 'disgrace to the Pataki name' for ruining a prized possession. So he kicked me out of the house and told me to run off to that orphan boy's house, even though I have told him on MANY occasions not to call Arnold that anymore, but he doesn't listen to me._

 _Anyway, I walked to Arnold's place, angry as sin, and climbed the fire escape to knock on Arnold's window. He opened it for me of course, and listened to me complain about my family like he does on almost all occasions and offered me advice, but I wasn't in the mood for advice, so I snapped at him, even though I didn't really want to._

" _I don't need your ADVICE, Arnold, I just need to blow off some steam," I said and Arnold nodded his head._

" _Alright, well then blow off some steam. I'm here to listen."_

" _But ARE you? Aren't you sick and tired of hearing me complain about my stupid family when you've got a perfect one downstairs?" I asked and Arnold shrugged his shoulders._

" _Everyone's family is different. And I don't mind hearing you talk about yours. Really." He said with a small smile, but I was ANGRY and I didn't care how understanding he was being. I needed to let loose in the only way that I knew how and APPARENTLY that is by making Arnold miserable._

" _Look, Hair Boy, you don't GET it. Your family is PERFECT. You don't have HALF the problems that I have. Your mom is understanding and caring. Your dad is hilarious and awesome. Your grandparents care about you more than themselves. And I'M stuck with a blowhard dad, a juiced-out mother and a sister who walks on clouds. We're DIFFERENT. Maybe TOO different." Arnold raised a brow at me and crossed his arms._

" _Helga, what are you saying?" He asked and I frowned._

" _I'm saying there's no way you could POSSIBLY understand what I'm going through, no matter WHAT I tell you. Unless you live with them for a DAY, there's no WAY you could understand them."_

" _Then LET me understand them, Helga. Why don't you invite them over here once? Just this once." He said and I laughed while shaking my head._

" _Are you insane, football-head? If I invite them over here, your parents will FINALLY know just where I come from and they won't want me around you. They'll see how messed up my life is and want better for you." I explained, but Arnold took this offensively and frowned._

" _My parents aren't like that, Helga. You aren't your parents and frankly, I'm a little offended that you'd think they'd do that." He said and I rolled my eyes._

" _I'm just scared they won't let you see me anymore," I said quietly and Arnold shook his head._

" _They wouldn't do that, especially when they know how much you mean to me._ You _know how much you mean to me, don't you?" He asked and I smacked my lips while shaking my head._

" _Not uh.. not exactly."_

" _Then you have a lot to learn, Helga."_

 _Do I? Do I have a lot to learn when it comes to our newfound relationship, Arnold? Is there something I'm not understanding when it comes to how you feel about me? Am I really just scared of losing the one thing I've waited for my entire life? You, Arnold, are all I care about. You're the one thing that gets me through the day, through my miserable life, and without you, I don't know what I'd do. How could I be so foolish? How could I be so insecure about us that I would question your own parents' integrity?_

 _Cripes, there's so much wrong with me and I don't even know where to begin to fix it._

 _What am I supposed to do?_

 _Lost and Confused,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 _Good Morrow, fine Journal,_

 _Tomorrow is the parent teacher conference and needless to say I'm a little afraid at what it will bring. I know that tomorrow is the day that my parents and Arnold's will officially MEET meet (outside of when they kind of met in the jungle) and I just really hope Miles and Stella won't see me any different at whatever impression my parents will make on them._

 _I guess only time will tell, but I'm just really praying that Miriam will hold off on the smoothies beforehand so she won't be TOO embarrassing. As for Bob, well, there's no TELLING what will come out of HIS mouth. Keep in mind, he keeps referring to Arnold as the freakin' orphan boy. Then again, maybe by meeting his parents, he'll finally stop calling him that and all will be right with the world._

 _Yeah. Right._

 _I don't know. The whole thing has had me on edge all day today. Even the announcement of the conference made me jump in my seat and poor Phoebe looked over at me with sympathetic eyes knowing just what I was thinking. Ever since I can remember I've had horrible experiences with parent teacher conferences. Usually my parents don't even show up, but on the rare occasion that they do, they embarrass the living snot out of me. But this time around, I KNOW they're showing up because apparently they have something to discuss with my teacher. Something about my grades, even though I bring home straight A's. I wonder if they're just curious how I'm doing so well. Gee mom and dad, maybe it's because I'm JUST AS SMART if not SMARTER than your perfect_ Ol _ga? There's a thought._

 _Either way, the whole thing has me a little nervous._

" _Don't be nervous, Helga. I'm sure it'll be just fine," Arnold told me today when I went to his house after school and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _I just don't know what it is that they could want to talk to the teacher about. They NEVER want to talk to my teacher." I said and he sighed._

" _Maybe they're proud of you?" But I laughed and rolled my eyes._

" _Yeah, and maybe I'm an alien from another planet with antennas and an uncanny ability to read minds. Arnold, are you crazy?" I asked and Arnold frowned._

" _I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think it's going to be."_

 _But I'm POSITIVE there's some kind of ulterior motive going on that I'm just not seeing. My parents are kinda dumb, but they aren't THAT dumb. Maybe Bob is gonna try and push his beepers on my poor pathetic sap of a teacher. Maybe that's it. Or maybe Miriam is going to try and be a good parent after all. I guess I don't really know WHAT'S in store for tomorrow, but all I DO know is I hope they make a good impression on Miles and Stella. I just want them to see that I'm worthy of being with their son, even if my parents are big screw-ups themselves. I'm not a big screw-up like them. I'm responsible. I'm caring. I'm everything that they aren't and I hope they see that. I THINK they see that._

 _Maybe I'm overthinking everything. I tend to do that._

 _Oh well. Here's to tomorrow!_

 _Worried,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 ** _Well folks, we've finally gotten to the crux of my story and the main plot of what i've wanted to do with the story- the journal but from Helga's POV! I really hope you like where this story is coming from and i hope you continue reading. Please PLEASE let me know what you think of this fic by leaving me a REVIEW and telling me so!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	9. Entry 2

Helga dropped her bookbag on the floor of her lair and sighed while pulling her journal out and speedily grabbing the nearby pink pen and flipping the book open to the nearest blank page.

 _Hidey ho, Journal._

 _You'd never believe the day I just had._

 _As you know, parent teacher conferences were today and let me tell you, they were something to talk about. First of all, not only did we leave the house late, but the car didn't start so we were even later than usual. Now you might think that this was a good thing because you'd think hey, maybe we wouldn't run into Arnold's parents, but you would be wrong, dear journal. You would be very wrong._

 _Not only did we run into Arnold's parents once, but we ran into them TWICE. But I'll get into that later._

 _First, I wanna talk about the actual conference itself because it was a DOOZY. So we sit down, right? In the desks that Bob could hardly fit into and Miriam missed completely falling on the floor at first only to stand up and stumble into it before the conference began. Once everyone was seated and my teacher was giving my parents a very uncomfortable look, he pulled out a few of my papers and straightened them on the table before beginning._

" _So first, I'd like to talk to you a little about Helga this year and how well she's been doing. Just a little check-up on her progress here in the sixth grade." the teacher said and my parents exchanged a look before returning their gaze back to the front of class where my teacher was sitting._

" _Yeah?" Bob said, "How bad's she doing?" He said optimistically (insert heavy sarcasm here) and my teacher's eyes widened at his comment._

" _Actually, Helga is one of my best students."_

 _This caught my parents by surprise. "She is?" Bob asked and my teacher nodded his head._

" _You haven't noticed by her report cards?"_

 _Of course, my parents NEVER notice my report cards as they usually just throw them out for lack of care but they shrugged their shoulders and took some of the papers that my teacher handed them and glanced through the A's that stared back at them from each of my assignments._

" _Wow, kid, you're almost as smart as Olga," he said and the teacher nodded his head._

" _Your daughter actually tested outside Olga Pataki, your other daughter, back in the fourth grade on her aptitude test." He said and this shocked my parents who's eyes went completely wide with stupor._

" _She...she did?" Miriam stuttered out and my teacher nodded._

" _She didn't tell you?" My teacher asked in surprise before clearing his throat and continuing. "Helga has a perfect 4.0 GPA. She's at the top of her class with another classmate who I'm not at liberty to discuss at this particular meeting," Though we all knew he was talking about my best friend Phoebe Heyerdahl._

" _Geez kid, who knew you had the Pataki smarts too," Bob commented and the teacher glanced between my parents in almost disappointment at the way they were treating their kid._

" _I'd also like to discuss perhaps Helga skipping this grade for seventh. She seems to not be challenged anymore by this grade." My teacher said which was a surprise to me and I shook my head, though Bob spoke up._

" _Is that gonna cost us anything?" He asked and I rolled my eyes as the teacher laughed quietly to himself._

" _No, it wouldn't. I just strongly advise that Helga be challenged by her academics, and I don't believe she is in this classroom."_

" _Well I'm not interested," I said flatly. "I'd much rather stay right where I am." I stated and my parents nodded their heads._

" _Clearly if she's doing well here, she should just stay put," Bob said and the teacher sighed._

" _It is just a suggestion, but one that I believe you should all discuss as just an option. Another thing I'd like to discuss is Helga's superior writing and an opportunity that I think would really benefit her." He said and my parents raised their brows._

" _Her writing?" Miriam asked._

" _Helga writes?" Bob questioned and my teacher nodded his head._

" _Very well. In fact, in all my experience as a teacher, I've never come across such a great writer at Helga's age." He opened a drawer at his desk and pulled out a flier which he handed to my parents. "There is a young writer's conference coming up that I'd really like Helga to attend. I think it would help her grow as a writer and offer some pointers to help her increase her abilities even more."_

" _And will THIS cost us anything?" Bob demanded and the teacher shook his head._

" _The whole thing will be covered by the school as it is a school-led activity and only one person is chosen from each class to go. It's a coveted honor and I'd really like your permission for Helga to come."_

 _Surprisingly enough, my parents signed off on it and now I'm registered to go to some big conference for writers all across the state to come together and talk about writing and all that jazz! I'm actually really excited about it, believe it or not. Who knew my writing would actually take me somewhere?_

 _Now back to my parents meeting Arnold's parents. Boy, was THAT awkward. First, we ran into them at the hallway and thankfully they didn't recognize them, though they recognized Arnold. "Hey, isn't that the kid you keep seeing? Your_ boyfriend _?" Bob had asked me and I rolled my eyes trying to blow him off completely. Then the meeting came and went and we exited the classroom only to run into them AGAIN just outside the hallway where they were waiting for their meeting._

" _A-Arnold," I said and he smiled at me._

" _Hey Helga. How'd it go?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders as Bob and Miriam began on their bragging kick._

" _Helga got accepted into some prestigious honor of going to some writer's conference deal." Bob said with a cross of his arms and Stella and Miles smiled._

" _Good for you, Helga!" Miles said. "I knew all that writing would pay off. How's the journaling going?" He asked and I grinned._

" _Pretty good actually. That journal is coming in handy believe it or not. Hate to say it, but I think you were right." I admitted and he smiled._

" _Good, glad to say 'I told you so,'" he said and Stella and Miles adjusted their gaze to that of my parents who were eyeing them curiously._

" _These are your parents?" Stella asked and I nodded my head reluctantly while taking a deep breath._

" _Bob, Miriam, these are Arnold's parents, Miles and Stella." I introduced and Bob held out a hand to firmly shake theirs, reintroducing himself as he did so._

" _Bob, Bob's Beeper Emporium. You want a deal, we'll give you a steal. You looking to get a beeper?" He plugged and I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous advertisement._

" _No, actually, we just invested in cellphones ourselves," Miles said with a wink in my direction. "New wave of the future, don't you think?"_

 _Bob frowned, snatching his hand away. "Cellphones are overrated. Just you watch, beepers will make their comeback."_

" _But aren't they only used to let someone know they need to make a phone call?" Stella asked, having had me to explain what they were just weeks ago. "Seems more convenient to have a cellphone just to call right away."_

 _Bob glowered at Arnold's parents. "Haven't you two been gone for 10 years? How do YOU know what's in and what's out ANYway?" he demanded and the two shared a look before returning their gaze back in Bob's direction._

" _We've had a good teacher," Miles said with a smile and Miriam set a hand on my shoulder._

" _We-we should really be going, B," she said while pushing me in the direction of the exit as Bob remained in place._

" _And who's that? My daughter I take it? She's been spending enough time over there at your house," Bob noted and I felt blush rise to my cheeks at his words._

" _Well she's very welcome at our house," Stella said warmly, "We enjoy having her."_

" _As long as she isn't causing you too much trouble. She can be a handful." He said and I rolled my eyes._

" _Like you would know_ dad, _" I muttered and he glared at me._

" _Hey, hey, hey, no backtalk little lady, the adults are having a conversation, here." He said and I shut my mouth immediately while looking to Arnold for help at avoiding whatever would happen next._

 _Arnold cleared his throat while tugging slightly at his dad's shirt. "Let's uh, let's head inside. I'm sure my teacher is expecting us." he said and his parents nodded their heads while smiling in the direction of my parents._

" _Nice to meet you, Bob, Miriam," Miles said while Stella nodded her head in agreement._

" _And know that Helga isn't a handful. She's always welcome at our house," Stella added before they disappeared into the classroom leaving us alone in the hallway._

 _Of course the ride home was awkward as Bob complained the entire time about the cellphone-world taking over the beeper-universe and how everyone was going corrupt- even people who have been out of the picture for over ten years. Then he began attacking me for introducing them to the whole deal to which I only countered that if he were smart, he'd get into the business himself and get our house back before we were stuck in the emporium forever._

 _Needless to say, he didn't like that comment very much._

 _Oh well. As if I care what BOB thinks. Overall, the night didn't go as horrible as I thought it would go and the takeaway was definitely the fact that I'll be going to the young writer's conference in the next couple of weeks. Who knows what will be in store for me there?_

 _Excited and Embarrassed,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Hello Again!_

 _Bored of me yet? I'm finding this journal thing to be kind of cool the more that I do it. It's nice to have a place to write down all my thoughts even if they're just stupid or about my day. Maybe Miles was right, even if I don't have much to say today._

 _School was boring. Life was boring. I didn't go to the boarding house today because Arnold was sick from school._

 _Nothing much to report._

 _Restless,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 _Criminy,_

 _I just got back from Arnold's house and he was BEYOND excited for me to go to this writer's conference coming up._

" _I can't believe you were picked out of our entire class!" Arnold beamed as we sat on his bed and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _It isn't THAT big of a deal," I said nonchalantly, but Arnold disagreed and shook his head._

" _Helga, it's a_ big _deal. It just proves how good you actually are. Aren't you excited?" He asked and I nodded my head while closing my notebook that was sitting on my lap._

" _Honestly, I'm really excited, yeah." I admitted and Arnold smiled._

" _My parents are pretty excited for you too. Especially my dad. He can't stop talking about it. He's so proud of you."_

 _I rolled my eyes. "What a goon," I said before chewing my lip and finally bringing up the topic I had been afraid of bringing up in the first place. "Speaking of your parents..." I said slowly, "did they say anything about meeting mine?"_

 _Arnold grew quiet then, quickly staring down at his lap and shrugging his shoulders. "Not much," he obviously lied and I frowned._

" _You don't have to lie to me, Arnoldo. If it's anyone who hates my parents it's me. I can take it. What did they say?" I pressed and Arnold took a deep breath before letting it out and finally speaking._

" _They were shocked, I guess," Arnold stated, his mind focused on how to phrase it so he didn't hurt my feelings._

" _Go on..." I pressed though he clearly didn't want to._

" _I guess if I were you, I'd ask them yourself. They didn't really say that much to me." He admitted and I frowned while getting up from the bed._

" _Fine then. Maybe I will." I said and Arnold reached out to stop me._

" _I didn't mean do it now," he tried but I was already at the door and heading downstairs to find Stella and Miles on the couch in the living room watching TV._

" _Hey Helga," Miles greeted me with a smile. "How's it going?" He asked though I was frowning and Stella leaned over to look at me._

" _Is something wrong, dear?" She asked and I crossed my arms._

" _My parents. You've met them now. What did you think. Honestly. And don't go giving me any of that sugar coated mumbo jumbo. I can handle it." I demanded and they exchanged a look before turning to look back at me and sighing._

 _Miles decided to take this one as Stella seemed to not want to offend me. "Your parents are... just as you described it seems," he said slowly. "And your father is-"_

" _Something else?" I finished for him and he nodded his head._

" _I'm sorry for the way he treated you. He talked down to you and that's no okay. At least not in my book." He said and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _It's nothing new. It's like that every day." I said and he patted the spot next to him on the couch for me to sit down, and I did so._

" _Helga," he said as I sat down, "Your parents care about you, even if they don't show it."_

" _Well they really don't," I replied and Stella and Miles both nodded their heads._

" _We think that it best that maybe you spend some more time with them and try to stop avoiding them so much." Stella said, the words seeming to come out harder than she expected and I raised my brow in curiosity._

" _Are you saying you don't want me to come over anymore?" I asked and they both shook their heads adamantly at my suggestion._

" _That's not what we're saying at all, we love having you here," Stella said, "But after what your father said, it seems to bother him that you're here so much-"_

 _I cut her off quickly to give her the REAL reason why it bothered him. "It BUGS him because I'm not there to do free labor for him. He doesn't have a single worker in the store anymore because he can't afford it so he just has me do all the work for free. Don't you get it? I'm not avoiding some kind of family activity where we bond and do family stuff, I'm avoiding doing free labor and getting yelled at for not doing it just perfectly." I explained and they shared a look before nodding their heads._

" _Alright," Miles said. "Well I can understand that. You're always welcome here and we're sorry you have to put up with parents who act like that but your mother, she seems to care about your well being."_

 _I nodded my head looking down at my lap. "My mom is... different than my dad. She COULD be a good mom. If she really wanted to, I guess."_

" _What's stopping her?" Stella asked and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _Her smoothies." I replied and they raised their brows._

" _Smoothies?"_

" _I think she needs a friend or something. She's cooped up in that place all day with Bob just weighing her down all the time. You know, there was once a time where she used to pack me lunches and pay attention to me and actually care about my school work and all that jazz? It didn't last long, but for like a few weeks, I had a MOM. She's in there... somewhere." I said softly and Stella stood up from the couch, determined._

" _Then I think your mom needs to get out of the emporium and meet someone. And I know just the woman for the job," she stated and I raised my brow._

" _Are you serious? YOU think you're the answer to all of Miriam's problems?" I asked and Stella nodded her head._

" _I think that a good friend can help anyone get out of their shell. Just let me try. If your mom really is in there, she'll come out. Especially if she has a confidant." Stella explained and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _What have I got to lose?"_

 _And really, what DO I have to lose?_

 _Stella said she's planning on going over to the beeper emporium tomorrow to take Miriam out for lunch and a 'girl's day.' We'll see how that goes. Who knows? Maybe this will all work out and Miriam won't have to rely on smoothies to get through her day anymore. That's the goal at least. I'll let you know how it works out tomorrow when I get home from school._

 _Until then,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Welp,_

 _Mom hasn't had a smoothie ALL DAY TODAY. Can you believe it? She's been completely with it ALL FREAKIN' DAY. No naps, no ignoring what's going on, and she even stood up to dad while he yelled at me for screwing up his display when I dropped a beeper and 'broke the merchandise' that he isn't even selling. Although we did have one customer. Some hipster who thought beepers were 'all the rage' and 'totally gonna make a comeback.' Poor fool._

 _Anyway, I guess Miriam went out with Stella, much to Bob's dismay, and had a blast. They went shopping and out to lunch and then had a pedicure or something and totally bonded. I guess they're going out again in a couple of days or something. She even told me that I'm allowed to go over to the boarding house any time I want! Score for Stella!_

 _I had to thank Stella for all that she did, even if it's just a baby step in the plan of getting my real mom out in the open. I hope things are changing. It'd be really nice for Miriam to quit the smoothie habit and become the mom I know is in there. Heck, it'd just be nice for her to become_ A _mom and start caring just enough to pack me a lunch every once in a while, though Stella mostly has that covered as she usually packs Arnold two lunches- one for him and one for me just in case I don't have anything to eat._

 _I'm telling you, the Shortmans are a blessing. Who knew that there are people out there like them who actually care and are willing to give you the shirt off their backs just so that you're okay? They care so much and for ME of all people. I hardly feel worthy of it all. Maybe it's just because I don't feel worthy of much of anything, but it's nice to feel it, even if it isn't from my own parents. I know I say it a lot, but Arnold is one lucky kid to have parents like them. This year at the Parent's Day competition, my parents better lookout because we have some serious competition. The Shortmans will kick some serious behind if you know what I'm talking about. They've been all over the world and defeated plenty of villians so our little relay races will be a piece of cake for them. I can already smell a winner._

 _In other news, Arnold and I are doing great. We don't fight much anymore and I hardly pick on him, besides his nicknames which are mostly in the loving sense now. I think he's grown attached to them since I've called him football-head ever since I can remember. They're all just terms of endearment. And since I know you're wondering, we haven't kissed in a while. Those moments are saved for special times which we haven't had in a while. We mostly spend our days in his room talking about this and that, sharing life experiences and wisdom and thoughts we have along with a secret or two. I feel like we're really getting to know each other for the first time. Sure, I knew his school schedule, his address, his phone number, the ins and outs of his life, but I never really KNEW him up until recently. It's a journey that I'm loving every second of, learning about Arnold. I just hope he's loving the journey as much as I am._

 _But we ARE only 11 and 12 years old, Arnold being just a few months ahead of me, that little twerp. There's still plenty to learn about each other as we grow. And speaking of growing, Arnold's getting to be pretty tall now, even though I've still got him beat by quite a few inches- still forever a true Shortman._

 _We're planning on going on a one-on-one date this weekend, and Arnold apparently has something up his sleeve because he won't tell me what it is we're doing. I'm a little nervous because I like to be in control of everything around me, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's a good thing to not be in control all the time. Either way, I'm excited because if I'm lucky, I'll get a kiss out of it and that's what's keeping me going throughout this whole week. It's funny, kissing. Once you get a good smooch that goes both ways, you kind of start to crave it and hope it happens more often than not. I'm not expecting a full make-out session or anything, but a kiss every now and again makes my heart melt because it lets me know that Arnold is still interested in me in that way and that our relationship is evolving the way it should be._

 _And I hope it is, because the more time I spend with Arnold, the more I end up telling him and the more we end up sharing about ourselves and our lives. It's weird, relationships, and how you end up feeling so comfortable with another person that you feel you can just tell them anything. All my life I've wanted that with Arnold and now I finally have that. Who would have thought my dreams would actually come true?_

 _I haven't written poems in a while. I've been so happy that I've just been focusing on this silly journal and writing down my every thought and everything that's been happening. It's kind of addicting, really. Sometimes I even go back and re-read all that I've written just so that I won't forget the craziness of the week. Especially the part about the young writer's conference. My teacher says I should bring with me some of my best work, but that's hard when ALL of your work is your best work. I'm still trying to decide which poetry volume I should bring, but it's hard. I think I've decided I'll go through them all and pick out the best ones and just bring a collection of poems. Maybe THAT will impress someone. Who knows? Maybe I'll get published, can retire early, and Arnold and I can spend the rest of our lives traveling the world and marveling at the universe together._

 _Ahh, what a dream to have._

 _Dreaming of the best yet to come,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _Just wait for the next chapter, things are really getting going on this story now and i hope you're really enjoying the journey i'm taking you on! Please be sure to leave me a REVIEW letting me know what you are thinking of this story! I love the feedback!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	10. Entry 3

Helga ran to her safe place in the emporium and spun around in joy while laughing to herself. "Ooh!" She swooned, her hands close to her heart as she spun, then stopped to pick up her journal and pen; ready to write down and capture all that had happened on her date with the one and only Arnold- her very heart itself.

 _Oh journal! Oh rapture! Oh pure ecstasy! Oh sweet, magnificent Arnold!_

 _Journal, you will not BELIEVE the night I've had or the amazing experience that I've just been through. Let me tell you ALL about it._

 _So first, Arnold had me show up at his place wearing a warm jacket that my mom had, unbelievably actually picked up from the dry cleaners this time around. Wearing my jacket, I walked to the boarding house and showed up a little cold, but mostly excited for whatever Arnold had in store for me. I knocked on the door and within seconds, Arnold was there in his own jacket ready to take me to wherever it was that we were going._

" _You ready for your surprise?" he asked me and I shrugged my shoulders with my hands deep inside the pockets of my jacket._

" _Considering you have me dressed as a marshmallow, I think I'm ready to go. Lead the way?"_

 _We walked and walked, talking all the while about school and other silly things to pass the time as the wind practically tried to blow us away. While I tried to get him to let us take the bus, he protested that we should walk and I went along with it knowing he had to have something up his sleeve for us to not take the bus. So we continued walking in the cold of winter, my teeth chattering as Arnold reached out to take my ice-cold hand to walk hand-in-hand with me down the sidewalk as we neared the park, empty at that time of night from the usual hustle and bustle of people._

" _Where are you taking me, football-head?" I asked and Arnold merely squeezed my hand._

" _You'll see," he said with a smile while pulling me towards the frozen lake where people usually ice skated during the day. "C'mon," he encouraged me as he let go of my hand and began walking on the ice and I looked at him like he was crazy._

" _What are you, mad?" I asked with a laugh and he shook his head._

" _I have a plan," he called out from the center of the lake where he now stood. "Come on, what are you, scared? Helga G. Pataki is scared of a little ice?"_

 _I rolled my eyes, "The ice could break, ya dingus," I stated but Arnold shook his head._

" _It's pretty solid. You want proof?" He asked before jumping on the ice and I reached out as if I could stop him from where I stood._

" _Would you stop already?!"I screamed at him and he stopped but not without trying to get me out on the ice once more._

" _Not until you come out here," He said with a sly smirk on his face and with a large sigh, I broke and carefully walked onto the ice to follow him towards the center of the lake where he was standing._

" _There. Are you happy?" I asked between chattered teeth and Arnold grinned._

" _Very. Now, let's lay down." he stated before doing so and patting the spot of ice next to him._

" _You want ME to lay down on the ICE." I deadpanned and he nodded his head from where he lay._

" _That's what I want, yes."_

" _And why is that, smart guy?" I wondered and he shrugged his shoulders while propping his arms up on his stomach._

" _You'll just have to trust me, now won't you?" he teased and I sighed again, dramatically this time before lowering myself to lay on the ice beside him and stared up at the sky while shivering from where I lay beside him._

" _Okay. I'm laying. Now what the heck kind of date are we on?" I demanded and Arnold pointed up at the sky._

" _You see the moon?" He asked and I nodded my head._

" _Yeah, what about it?" I wondered and he dropped his arm back to his stomach._

" _It's surrounded by stars. This is one of the only spots in the city where you can see them all at once." Arnold stated and I nodded my head while taking in his words._

" _It's pretty," I mused while staring up at the sky and focusing on the stars as the glimmered above us. "Kind of inspirational."_

 _Arnold smiled from where he lay while reaching out to take my hand in his. "I was hoping you'd say that."_

 _I turned my head from the sky to look over at him. "You were?" I asked and he turned his head to look back at me._

" _You've been so stressed lately and with the writer's conference coming up, I wanted to do something that would inspire you to write something, even if it was just staring out at the stars." He tilted his head back to face the sky ahead and spoke again. "I've always found the sky to be fascinating. And I may not be an artist or anything like you, but I can imagine that something so beautiful would be inspirational to someone like you."_

 _I stared up at the stars then, my mind wandering as my eyes gravitated towards the full moon as it glowed down on us from where we remained on the ice. Suddenly, without thinking, words spewed from my mouth. "Oh, most luminous orb in the indigo sky, looketh you upon my ideal guy. Oh all knowing lunar sphere, taunting from above, wilst thou never guide me to my one true love?"_

 _Arnold's eyes grew wide as he stared at me and I caught his glance while raising a brow. "What?" I asked and he shook his head in shock._

" _Where... where did you hear that?" he asked and I smirked._

" _Nowhere. I made it up." I said and he continued shaking his head in disbelief._

" _But I've heard it before... in a dream or something..." He said more to himself than to me._

" _I don't know how you could have, I just made it up now. I'm...sorry...?" I apologized and Arnold squeezed my hand._

" _No need to apologize. It was beautiful. I just don't understand why you need to ask the moon for help finding your ideal guy." His voice quivered for a moment before he finally spoke again. "I thought maybe... that might...might be me."_

 _Oh, be still my heart! Arnold finally sees us the way I've always seen us- true soulmates. I shook slightly from not only the cold, but at his statement and my smile grew from ear to ear as I looked at him and scooted closer to him so our bodies were touching. "You ARE my ideal guy, Arnold. And better yet, YOU found ME. I'd already found you, I just had to wait a while for you to find me too."_

" _Well I did," he said after a moment while scooting closer to me too and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "You proved yourself in the jungle and you prove yourself with every word you say to me. You've really opened yourself up these passed few months and I'm really proud of you, Helga."_

 _I shrugged my shoulders, "It's nothing, really," I stated but Arnold disagreed._

" _It isn't nothing, Helga. It takes a lot to open yourself up to someone, especially someone you like a lot the way you like me. Someone you l-love."_

 _I knew the word still made him uncomfortable as he hadn't adjusted to all my feelings quite yet, but I still have hope that one day he'll understand the just of all my feelings and we can live in love the way I've always dreamed. But laying on that ice, staring up at the stars in the quiet of night, it was nice and calm and everything that felt like how love should feel. So I'd say he's getting close to feeling it. At least I hope so._

" _Well," I said after his comment about love, "I do you know. Even if you don't feel the same way just yet. Which I understand, there's no rush." I quickly added so he knew that I wasn't pressuring him to feel the same feelings I felt._

" _I know," he replied, "But that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you."_

 _This made me smile and I stared up at the stars, their luminescence glittering above us in the open sky. "Thanks for taking me out here tonight," I told him after a moment of silence, "I uh... I needed to get away from everything for a while. Even if it is freezing cold out here and we're lying on ice."_

 _Arnold chuckled, "You're welcome. Did it inspire you?" He asked and I nodded my head._

" _Sure did. You know what else it inspired me to do?"_

 _Arnold glanced over at me and raised a brow. "What's that?"_

 _Carefully, I leaned over, my cold lips finding his to press against them for the briefest of moments though he held his against mine for just a moment longer. We stayed like that for a minute or so under the light of the sky, the still of the night, and then pulled apart; Arnold's eyes hot on me as he smiled wide. "Wow," he said and I shared in his smile._

" _Wow is right," I replied and he chuckled._

" _I uh... we should get going," he said awkwardly before pushing himself up and then offering his hand to help me up as well. "It's getting pretty late and you're right when you say it's freezing cold."_

 _I laughed and nodded my head. "Freezing cold is definitely right. My buns could fall off."_

 _And under the moonlight, we walked back to his house to be greeted with hot chocolate topped with marshmallows and fresh baked cookies thanks to Gertie who had insisted they were in honor of Valentine's Day._

 _But after the kiss we shared, I couldn't agree more. It certainly felt like Valentine's Day to me and Arnold and I couldn't stop staring at each other with a smile planted on our faces with our secret tucked away inside our minds. This kiss was unlike the other, nobody had been watching us and it was so romantic that I felt like my heart would burst._

 _It was a night I never want to forget and that's why I'm writing it all down to you, dear journal. So that I can re-read it again and again and never forget this, the sweetest of kisses I've yet to share with Arnold. This whole night was awe-inspiring and filled my heart with joy. Thus, inspiring this very poem which I've written for this very occasion._

 _Oh sweet, glorious stars_

 _That sing their sweet songs from above_

 _Shine down upon me_

 _With nothing but love_

 _Show me the long-lost path_

 _As you've done so many times before_

 _Guide me with your warm light_

 _And give me something more_

 _Let the moon shimmer its glimmer_

 _Let the stars deliver their radiant glow_

 _But know that I'm here_

 _Waiting down below_

 _Luminescent Orb_

 _That I look up at and hear my wish_

 _I dare for more, long for more_

 _Long for another long-lasting kiss._

 _Inspired and Loved,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Howdy, again._

 _So Arnold and I had... an interesting conversation today during lunch period. Not a bad interesting or anything, just interesting is all._

 _We were sitting at the lunch table with Gerald and Phoebe, talking about the writer's conference coming up in the next couple of days. Phoebe was proud of me for getting into the conference, but I could tell that she was a tad jealous that she hadn't been picked even though she wasn't that great at writing when it came to the creative sense. Look, she's my best friend and all, but she just doesn't have the creative mind when it comes to writing- she's a research girl and there's nothing wrong with that. Just not the kind of person they send to a young writer's conference I guess._

 _Either way, we were talking about it coming up when Arnold reached for my hand and held it above the table, Gerald's eyes glancing over to us as he did so._

" _You two have certainly become more... open about things," he noted before taking a bite of his food and chewing while eyeing Arnold and me suspiciously._

" _What's wrong with being open about a relationship, Gerald?" Arnold asked._

" _Yeah, look at Rhonda," I added, "she flaunts her relationships around all willy nilly every week."_

" _I simply believe in discretion," Phoebe added, "As does Gerald. Correct?" She asked while turning to look at him as he sighed and nodded his head._

" _You hold hands the whole way to school though," I said and Gerald rolled his eyes._

" _Some flaunting," he sarcastically stated and I smirked._

" _It's still showing your relationship so what's your issue with us showing ours? It isn't like nobody knows we're together." I stated and both Gerald and Phoebe shrugged their shoulders while reluctantly nodding their heads._

" _I suppose you have a valid point," Phoebe said after a moment and I grinned._

" _Thank you," I conveyed before finishing the brownie on my tray._

 _It was a weird conversation to have with my friends, but I think they finally understand that there's no harm in Arnold and I showing that we're a couple. I mean, like I said, it isn't like nobody knows we're together now. We're done hiding it and as long as everyone leaves us the heck alone about it, I'm cool with holding his hand in front of other people._

 _What have I got to lose anyway?_

 _Feeling ballsy,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Hello._

 _There's a period at the end of that because I've had one heck of a day. I guess I figured out what it was that I had to lose and that happens to begin with the names of Harold, Stinky and Sid. They just won't leave Arnold and I alone! It's ridiculous! The goons bug us every single day about our relationship and if it weren't for Arnold literally holding me back, I'd pound them right in their smug faces._

 _Maybe Gerald and Phoebe were right... maybe discretion is to be advised._

 _In other news, Bob and Miriam have been fighting about telling Olga the dirty truth about our little secret. Ever since Mom's been laying off the smoothies, her willpower has kicked in and she's been wanting to 'do the right thing' a whole lot more. I keep holding bets inside my mind wondering who will win. I'll keep you posted._

 _Besides that, I'm just frustrated with my classmates. Could they be any dumber? Any lamer? Any less mature?_

 _Ready to beat someone's face in,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So..._

 _I think my new idea of discretion has hurt Arnold's feelings. He doesn't seem to get why I don't want to hold his hand anymore in front of people and while I tried to explain it all to him, he just doesn't seem to get why it bothers me so much and why I can't shut out Stinky, Sid and Harold's voices like he can._

 _But I'm not Arnold. I'm not some perfect, mindfulness-mastered weirdo who can tune out the evils of our classmates. I just end up clenching my fists and want to smack them right in their dumb faces. Sure, they might just be immature 11 year olds and sure they might just be taking out their own frustrations on us, but it still hurts and makes me feel bad and our relationship invalid._

 _And the thing is, I KNOW our relationship isn't invalid. I KNOW that what I have with Arnold is real and this time I'm not just making it all up. So why am I so phased by their stupid words? Why am I so bothered by their mocking and their lame teasing? I shouldn't be. In fact, I should be amused by it all because of how wrong they are and how right we are to flaunt what we obviously have._

 _Anyway, the young writer's conference is in three days now and I've gathered up most of my best poems in preparation to show them off in hopes to win all conference. They pick the best writer out of the entire conference and give them this prestigious award to take home and publish one of their works in his big-deal magazine, so I'm really hoping my writing is good enough to take home that trophy and shove it in Bob's face._

 _Now THAT would be a sight to see._

 _Hoping for the best,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 _I made a bold move today._

 _I showed Arnold my poems._

 _I know what you're thinking. You're crazy, right? Showing Arnold all the poems that are mostly (okay all) about him. But I needed some feedback and encouragement going into this young writer's conference and Arnold was the only one I trusted enough to share that part of myself. And if I couldn't share my poems to Arnold, how in the heck was I supposed to share my poems with a community of people judging them for all conference?_

 _So I took out the scattered papers I'd thrown into a binder and sat him down on his couch while I sat on the floor of his bedroom and read each and every one to him, throwing my feelings out completely bare as if I were naked in front of him; my feelings completely raw and out there for the first time in my entire life._

 _After I finished, Arnold looked at me with a half-lidded gaze and smiled a warm smile my way. "Those are wonderful, Helga. Absolutely stunning."_

 _I raised my brow, closing the binder slowly and looking up at him completely. "R-really?"_

 _Arnold nodded his head, moving to sit down on the floor with me while crossing his legs. "Really. You've got a gift, Helga. And there's no doubt in my mind that you'll win all conference with your poetry. I've never heard anything like what you've read me. It's even better than the poetry we study in school."_

 _I reached up to run my fingers through my hair, blush rising up through my body and to my cheeks. "Criminy, Arnold, you're making me blush," I admitted and he chuckled._

" _I'm not trying to, just being honest is all," he said while reaching out to take the binder from me. "May I?" He asked and I nodded my head, giving him the binder willingly as he opened it up and began flipping through the poems looking at each one carefully before pointing to one in particular._

" _This one," he said, "I recognize this one..." he said before reciting it. "Arnold my love, my sultry pre-teen," he paused for a moment before looking up at me. "That parrot... in fourth grade...it used to say this poem all the time. Was it yours?"_

 _My blush reddened as I nodded my head reluctantly and laughed to myself. "Yeah... that was all me. It overheard me writing the poem and the rest... is history."_

 _Arnold laughed and shook his head. "Wow... well, it's a great poem regardless. That parrot knew good poetry when it heard it."_

" _Rest in peace," I muttered only making Arnold laugh more._

" _You remember Mr. Simmons' face when he saw it get eaten by your lizard?"_

" _Oh man!" I said chortling, "That was a riot! What did he say again?" I asked and Arnold answered as we both said in unison,_

" _Remember, what we saw was uh... cycle of life in action...!" we both then erupted in laughter at the comment and shook our heads as we remembered that crazy day of show and tell all those years ago like it had been lifetimes ago._

" _Man, Helga, you've been writing poetry for forever," Arnold finally said after his laughter had subsided and I nodded my head with a shrug._

" _Yeah, but it only got good as of recently. Any of them stick out to you for the conference?" I asked and Arnold let out a 'hmm' as he continued flipping through the pages and carefully eyeing each page._

 _After a few minutes of inspecting my work, Arnold pointed his finger to a page in particular and smiled. "This one. Definitely this one." He said before clearing his throat and beginning to read the words off the page that I'd written._

" _Under the hot lights of day_

 _Staring into the mirror; prepared to see_

 _I don the old mask I've worn all my life_

 _for those who expect to see the best of me._

 _But I shan't let them see_

 _I shan't let myself break_

 _this mask that I wear has taken_

 _so many years just to make_

 _Doth thou see right through?_

 _Cans't thou see behind my bloodshot eyes?_

 _Dost thine glisten with mine own tears_

 _to hide the air of my surprise?_

 _Let me hide all my weakness_

 _Let me hide all mine own shame_

 _For behind this hardened mask_

 _Bares the one of my true name_

 _The lost soul of mine own true self."_

 _I shuddered at the words of my own poetry and took a moment to digest it before speaking at last. "Lemme see that," I said while snatching the binder back and looking down at the poem I'd entitled 'Ode to Myself.'_

 _I glanced over at Arnold and frowned. "Really? This one?"_

 _Arnold nodded his head confidently and pointed back to the binder. "It's raw and real. It shows your true colors and is the only poem you showed me that was about_ you. _I think that shows your true writing skills."_

 _I looked down at the binder and stared at the words written on the page and sighed, knowing he was right. This WAS the only poem in ALL my volumes that I'd actually written about myself and the funniest part was that it was only on the back of a page that had ended up in the binder so it wasn't even supposed to end up here in the first place._

 _But either way, Arnold was right. Maybe this poem WAS my best chance at winning. It was deep, it was emotional and it was most importantly raw and real- words written by the real me._

 _So that's it. 'Ode to Myself' it is._

 _Let's see if this one can win me that big ole trophy._

 _Future Winner,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Well, today is the day._

 _I'm currently packing up and getting ready to head for the young writer's conference down in the city with all my poems, 'Ode to Myself' at the very top of the pile prepared to be shown to the judges and prepared to win that big stinkin' trophy (if there even is one? I'm not actually sure). But aside from all my false confidence, there is a side of me that's a little worried about the outcome of what's to come._

 _Sure, I'm nervous, but most of all I'm excited to go down and meet other writers and just be in my element. Plus, it'll be wicked cool to be away from all of the saps back home who would just rain on my parade. They all don't realize my potential, everyone that is except for Arnold who fully realizes just what I'm capable of- and that's winning this young writer's conference._

 _Anyway, I'm gonna be late for the bus to take me down to the city so I'd better get going._

 _See you when I win!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _All these poems were fun to write so i hope you enjoyed them- what did you think? Also, what did you think of this chapter? are you as excited for the young writer's conference as I am? I remember when i was in sixth grade and went to the young writer's conference in my state. I still have the shirt from it actually. anyway, please let me know what you think by leaving me a REVIEW_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	11. Entry 4

_Well hello there Journal,_

 _I suppose you're wondering how the young writer's conference went, huh? Well allow me to spill all the juicy details for you right here so I can remember them later when I'm old and gray._

 _So our group of five got onto the school bus that was like, the 12th stop on the ride to the city where the conference was being held. Which of course wasn't the LAST stop on our way there. We had like a million left to go and by the time we reached the hall where the young writer's conference was being held, our bus was filled to the brim with students of all ages chattering about all excited to get to our destination._

 _Everyone except me of course. Nah, I was seated with my binder, my body pressed up against the window as I stared out at the scenery as we passed it by until the giant hall came into view; buses lined up against the curb letting hoards of students out of their doors to laugh and talk among themselves as they entered the building that held the conference._

" _Woah," I muttered to myself as the passenger sitting next to me smiled my way and began talking to me._

" _Isn't it grand?" She said. "I can't believe we were all chosen to come here! It's such an honor after all!"_

 _I nodded my head at her while continuing to look out the window and watch as the groups of children made their way inside the conference hall with their teachers trying to lead the way and count them all up as they walked with lunch bags in hand._

" _Think it will be fun?" My seat-mate asked me and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _I sure hope so. I'm not really sure what to expect. I've never gone before." I answered and the girl beside me stood up as our bus stopped and began to unload us._

" _Me neither, but I've heard from others that it's a blast. You get to meet and talk to real authors of books and learn about publishing your works and there's even an all conference winner, though it usually goes to a sixth grader," she said gesturing for me to stand up as well and I did so. "What grade are you in?" She asked and I smiled._

" _Sixth," I replied and the girls eyes widened._

" _Then you stand a pretty good chance," she said before joining the line of passengers and disappearing out the door of the bus leaving me to my thoughts as I waited to join the line myself._

 _If only she knew what she was up against, I thought to myself. Although with all these OTHER kids... if only_ I _knew what I was up against..._

 _The hall was packed with kids and our chaperon tried to keep us all in line with one another so she could hand out the schedules. "Now first off you'll all get to choose which classes you want to attend, but be wary, we have to meet back up here during lunch which is at 12 o'clock. The 2nd graders through 4th graders will be accompanied by myself, but the 5h and 6th graders will be free to roam the hall, though there will be teachers all around to help you if you get lost. Take a look at your schedules everyone," She addressed us and we all glanced down to our papers in hand and peeked at the words typed down on them. "These are the classes that are being held in various rooms all throughout the conference hall. Grammar classes, fictional writing classes, nonfiction classes, poetry classes, publishing classes, pretty much anything you can think of writing-wise, there are classes for them. So choose wisely as each of these classes last an hour and we will only be here for a full school day which is 8 hours, minus your lunch hour and wrap up class which lasts 2 hours at the end giving you 5 classes you can attend."_

 _I nodded my head along with the fellow students who had come with me and the chaperon clapped her hands with a smile on her face. "Alrighty then. The first classes start in about fifteen minutes so let's figure out which ones you'll be attending and let's head over there! 2Nd, 3rd, and 4th graders, let's pick our class and 5th and 6th graders, go find your first class! I'll see you at noon!"_

 _I glanced down at my schedule again, searching for the poetry class the teacher had named off and quickly found the room name it was in. "Latoka Room" it said and with a shrug, I stalked my way off, following the signs above in the direction of the room and with ease, found it only to take a seat in the back of the room and set my binder on the desk in front of me._

 _The class was educational. Kinda boring at first as we talked about the history of poems and why they were so important to literature in general. But then came the sharing portion and, taking Arnold's advice, I decided to share my poem just to get some feedback before I gave it over to the judges for all conference at the end of the day. After all, all opinions count, right?_

" _Did anybody bring any poems they'd like to share with the group today?" The head of the room asked and a bunch of hands shot up in the air along with mine and I frowned as I knew there were only ten minutes left in the class. My chances were shot. But I was surprised when she called on me. "You, in the back. The blonde with the pigtails. Would you like to share your poem?"_

 _I looked around to see if anyone else around me also shared blonde pigtails, but then realized she was pointing to me and stood up, clearing my throat and opening my binder to my top poem which was ready to read to the class._

 _Reciting it with ease and with severe nerves, the end finally came and an eruption of applause followed; the teacher of the class' jaw dropping as she looked at me in astonishment. "Wow, wow, wow!" She exclaimed. "What's your name, young lady?"_

" _Uh... Helga. Helga G. Pataki."_

" _And where are you from?" She asked. "What grade are you in?"_

" _I'm from Hillwood? And I'm in the sixth grade. I actually wrote this poem about a year ago."_

 _The teacher shook her head in shock as she smiled at me. "Well Miss Pataki, I'd say we have a pretty big contender for all conference in our midst. That poem was absolutely splendid. I hope you'll be entering at lunch this afternoon. I'll certainly be putting in a good word for you," She said while jotting my name down on a slip of paper that sat at her desk._

 _That was the most exciting part of the first half of the day. The next class I went to was all about publishing and I received a few good articles about how to go about getting your work published and where to start. Which was helpful because secretly, I'd always wanted to get my work out there and published, at least at some point or another. After that class, I chose to go to fictional story writing where the author of a book I'd never heard of but sounded promising taught the class and told us all about how to make storylines and go about finishing a story and fleshing out a full plotline to make an entire book which was really interesting and that class went by pretty fast._

 _Then came time for lunch which consisted of paper bagged lunches filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, milk and some chips which wasn't NEARLY as good as a Stella lunch, but satiated my hungry belly nonetheless. Our teacher stood up then, gathering us all around to ask the question I'd been waiting for- the question about all conference._

" _Okay kids, now comes the time when I get to ask you if any of you would like to submit some of your work in for the prestigious all conference award. They'll be reading through them during this next section of classes and will announce a sole winner who will be published in the Life and Times magazine which is a national magazine, along with giving away a trophy, at the end of the day today. Any takers?" She asked and I looked around at our group as nobody raised their hands._

 _Semi-confidently, I raised my hand up in the air and took a deep breath. "I uh... I brought something I'd like to submit." I stated quickly and the chaperon raised her brow before smiling and clapping her hands once._

" _Excellent! You can give it to me and I'll be sure it ends up in the hands of the judges."_

 _Carefully, I reached in my binder and took out the copy I'd made of my poem and shakily handed it to her, then closed my binder and sat chewing on my sandwich as I watched the chaperon leave to hand off my poem to the powers that be._

 _God, I hope this poem is good enough, I thought to myself as I finished my sandwich and the chaperon returned with a smile on her face. "All submitted!" She announced while holding a stack of t-shirts in her hand. "I also come baring gifts!" She teased before handing a shirt to each one of us that bore the logo of the young writers conference on them. "These are courtesy of the conference itself as a thank you for coming today. Feel free to wear them for the rest of the day," she said handing me one and winking in my direction._

 _Needless to say, I just held it the rest of the day instead of wearing it. I'd use it for pajamas later._

 _After lunch, classes resumed and no matter which classes I went to, I couldn't keep my mind off of my poem's soon-to-be fate. I found myself doodling on the pages I'd brought to take notes on and my mind wandered off into space as the teachers lectured on about this and that of writing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the classes, but my mind was just a titch per-occupied on the words of my poem and if they had been written well enough. There were just so many kids there and the odds of me winning weren't all that good. I mean sure, I was a good writer and all, but was I really THAT good? I was a small fish in a big pond here._

 _By the time wrap up came, I was anxious for the award ceremony and skipped the book signing entirely because not only did I not have any money to buy any books, not even the cool sounding one from that one teacher, but because I just wanted to hear who had won all conference, even if it wasn't me._

 _Finally, the time had come and we all gathered in the main room to sit down in our assigned seats by school and listened to the speaker on the stage talk._

" _Welcome, boys and girls, to the 32nd annual young writer's conference!" He announced and the crowd roared with applause before he gestured for everyone to quiet down. "I hope you've had a marvelous time here today learning about the wonderful world of writing and the talents you all clearly share. Now, it is time to give out an award that some of you have entered for and before we give that out, I just want to say that it takes tremendous courage to put your work out there and if you don't win here today, do not take that as a failure. Know that just by putting yourself out there, you are already a winner and a step further to becoming a real author." I rolled my eyes in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest as the speaker gestured for a piece of paper to be handed to him from where he stood at the podium._

" _And now, for the winning entry which I will read to you now." I uncrossed my arms and moved to sit on the edge of my chair, leaning in towards the stage as I hung on his every word. "This poet has shown not only great efforts in their writing, but a great struggle with their inner self which was displayed brilliantly and with great skill for a sixth grader."_

 _Sixth grader, huh? I thought to myself. Well, I'm already one step closer, I told myself before waiting with my fingers crossed in hopes to hear my poem be read out loud._

" _It is entitled," the speaker said before clearing his throat, "'Ode to Myself' written by one Helga G. Pataki from PS118 in Hillwood," he announced and my eyes widened as I heard my name be called through the speakers of the hall; the eyes of my fellow PS118ers hot on me as he began to read my poem._

" _Under the hot lights of day_

 _Staring into the mirror; prepared to see_

 _I don the old mask I've worn all my life_

 _for those who expect to see the best of me." He read and the world slowed around me as the ears of all the fellow students tuned in to hear my poem be read through the loud speakers for all to hear._

" _But I shan't let them see_

 _I shan't let myself break_

 _this mask that I wear has taken_

 _so many years just to make" He continued, looking out in the crowd as if trying to spot me and I found myself standing up without thought._

" _Doth thou see right through?_

 _Cans't thou see behind my bloodshot eyes?_

 _Dost thine glisten with mine own tears_

 _to hide the air of my surprise?" Slowly, I wandered through the line of chairs and made my way to the aisle where I began walking towards the stage, drawn to it almost as I walked while the speaker continued with my poem, the words haunting me with each step I took._

" _Let me hide all my weakness_

 _Let me hide all mine own shame_

 _For behind this hardened mask_

 _Bares the one of my true name_

 _The lost soul of mine own self." Finally, I made it to the stage, standing awkwardly at its side as the speaker finally noticed me and he turned to face me._

" _You must be the writer, no?" He asked and I slowly nodded my head, still in shock that after everyone who'd entered,_ I'd _been the one who had been chosen. "Well come on up, Miss Pataki," he said before starting an applause that grew from him to the entire auditorium, hoops and hollers following as I looked out into the crowd, the lights blinding me slightly from seeing any faces in particular._

" _Your poem astounded the judges," The speaker said into the microphone. "We were blown away by your in depth representation of yourself and how deeply you made us feel at the pain and struggle of trying to find oneself behind the masks we put on every day just to show ourselves to the world. Fantastic job." He congratulated me with a pat on the back and I smiled at him before leaning over to speak into the microphone._

" _Th-thank you. Really." I said and he smiled as a woman brought over a trophy which he immediately handed over to me._

" _As all conference winner at this years young writer's conference, our esteemed panel of judges would like to congratulate you with this trophy, along with publishing your fine poem in the Life and Times magazine that will run next month across the nation." The speaker turned to look at me, a smile beaming across his face and he reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. "You, my dear, have earned it."_

 _I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I had WON! I actually WON!_

 _I WON ALL CONFERENCE!_

 _That's right, you read it here first, journal, I, Helga G. Pataki, won ALL CONFERENCE at the young writer's conference AND there was a big ole trophy to rub in Big Bob's old face. Man, I wish I had a picture of his reaction to post in here because it was GOLDEN, let me tell you._

 _I got home, prouder than a possum, trophy in hand with my binder and a certificate, t-shirt and binder in another, and swung open the beeper emporium door with a smile brightly plastered on my face._

" _Guess who's not the ONLY winner in this family?!" I announced and Bob turned around from his display to look at me with wide eyes._

" _What did you win?" He asked and I grinned while sticking the trophy in his face._

" _Read it and weep, old man," I stated and he looked down and squinted at the small print labeled at the base of the trophy._

" _All Conference Winner at the 32nd Annual Young Writer's Conference... what the heck is that?" He asked and I sighed while rolling my eyes._

" _It's that thing I got invited to_ dad _. At my parent teacher conference?" I explained._

" _Oh yeah, right, right. That writing thingy. Well good job, Olga."_

 _I frowned, knowing that this hadn't impressed him as much as I thought it would have. "It's Helga, dad," I said softly while trudging to the back of the emporium; or at least trying to get to my safe place in the empire before Mom intercepted me with a big hug._

 _"Oh honey!" She yelled as I yelped in her grip from the tight hug she entrapped me in. "You won your writer's thing! Oh... I'm just so proud!"_

 _"Mom...too...tight..." I tried and she finally let me go to squish my face in her hands instead._

 _"You know, this reminds me of the time I won my first all conference in swimming, aw, I was about your age too and I was just so excited. You must be thrilled."_

 _"Yeah it's uh... it's a pretty big honor i guess."_

 _"You guess?" She said letting go of my face to stand straight up with her hands on her hips, "Well i wouldn't guess at all. I'd say this is as big an honor as any. B! Our daughter deserves her own trophy spot, don't you think?"_

 _"Huh, Miriam?" He asked uninterested as Miriam took the trophy from my hands and wandered over to a spot left empty from boxes and other miscellaneous items and things. "How about we put it right here? For ALL of us to see?"_

 _I smiled, appreciating Miriam's effort in trying to make up for Bob's lack of care. "That'd be real nice, mom. I-I'd like that."_

 _She grinned back at me, giving me another affectionate squeeze before telling me to go on and run off to go write some more award winning poetry which instead of doing, i just ran straight to the back of the emporium to write in you instead._

 _And that's where I am now, journal. But don't worry, I won't let Bob get me down. I still get to rub it in everyone's faces tomorrow at school and show it off at Arnold's place tomorrow and I KNOW Stella and Miles will be proud of me for this accomplishment. At least SOMEBODY will be._

 _And somebody is better than nobody. Even if it is just your surrogate family._

 _But the best part about growing up is that you get to choose your family and I think I've done a pretty good job choosing so far. Arnold's family is the greatest and I couldn't be happier with my decision._

 _I just hope they'll be as ecstatic as I am. I know Arnold will be. If it wasn't for him, I never would have won this competition in the first place._

 _Reading my poems to him was the best bold choice I'd ever made in my young life._

 _And I can't WAIT to thank him._

 _Proud of myself for ONCE,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 _Ready for a recap?_

 _Being as it's the weekend, I went to Arnold's house with my big fat trophy all shined to perfection with a smile on my face and knocked on his door. Arnold was quick to answer the door, a grin beaming on his face the moment he saw me._

" _You won?" He exclaimed, his eyes wide at the sight of the trophy I was holding._

 _I nodded my head, words escaping me as he took grip of my arm and pulled me into the house, calling out to his parents and the boarders as he did so. "She won, everybody! Helga won all conference! And she brought the trophy!" He yelled as people rushed down the stairs and through the halls, from the kitchen and out of the bathroom to see the award I'd brought with me, my body forcing a laugh out as Arnold paraded me around the boarding house to show off my success._

" _She won?" Stella asked as she exited the kitchen, Miles accompanying her._

" _I knew she would!" Miles said with a fist pump in the air. "How does it feel? How DID it feel to win?"_

 _I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. "It felt pretty good," I said before shaking my head and laughing loudly, "Oh who am I kidding, it felt freakin' AWESOME!"_

" _What did you use?" Stella asked while wiping her hands on a towel, "One of your poems?"_

" _Yeah. I actually, erm, used a poem that Arnold suggested that I use." I admitted with a blush of my cheeks and Arnold smiled from beside me while placing a hand on the small of my back._

" _It was an amazing poem. I knew she'd win with it," He said confidently and Miles raised his brow._

" _Oh really? Which poem? What was it called?" He asked and I swallowed hard before answering._

" _It was called 'Ode to Myself,'" I said, Stella and Miles sharing a look._

" _Any chance you'd read your winning poem for us?" Miles asked then and I held the trophy tight to my chest while fighting the answer._

" _I don't know if that's such a great idea... it's kinda deep..." I said and Stella shrugged her shoulders._

" _We like deep. C'mon, what's sharing it one more time? I'm sure they'll share it in front of your class come Monday anyway, don't you think?"_

 _Dang, she had a point, I thought and I turned to Arnold who nodded his head encouragingly and I cleared my throat before beginning to recite the poem that I'd had practically memorized since it was shared through the loud speakers just the day before. And since I've shared said poem with you on multiple occasions now, dear journal, I'll spare you the sap and skip to the part where they applauded and began showering me with compliments at my award-winning poem._

" _That was extraordinary, Helga!" Stella said while clapping, Miles nodding his head in agreement._

" _I concur, that was amazing! No wonder you won! Nobody stood a chance with that piece of work!"_

" _Thanks guys," I said sheepishly while looking down at my feet. "I couldn't have done it without Arnold's coaxing though. If it hadn't been for him, I would have chosen some other silly poem about...well...something else...and it wouldn't have shown off my strengths as well as this poem did."_

" _Well we couldn't be more proud of you," Stella said while walking up to me to put a hand on my shoulder. "What did your parents say? Were they proud of you as well?"_

 _I sighed and set the trophy down beside me and shook my head. "My parents hardly even NOTICED. And Bob got my name wrong AGAIN. It was like his precious_ Ol _ga had one the whole thing to him, and not me."_

" _Oh sweetie," she cooed, while reaching out to hug me as tightly as she could manage. "No matter what your parents say or think, you ARE a winner." She let go of me then and pulled back to look me in the eyes. "Be that winner for us. For Arnold. But most importantly for_ yourself _. You're the one who matters most of all."_

 _I nodded my head to her, taking in her words for everything they were and offering a small smile. "I am?" I asked and Miles walked towards me then, standing behind Stella and grinning down at me._

" _You are. You're special, Helga. Not everyone can win something like you just won and if your parents don't see that, then shame on them, but_ we _see that and I know our son does too, don't you Arnold?" He asked and Arnold nodded his head assuredly._

" _I certainly do," he said before Miles continued._

" _As I said before, you have a gift, a one of a kind sort of gift that needs to be shared with the world and now it will be. You said this will be published?" He asked and I nodded my head._

" _In the Life and Times magazine next month."_

" _Then we should celebrate!" Miles expressed with his arms up in the air. "I say we all go out for some ice cream down at Slausen's. What do you say, Helga, Arnold? You up for a celebration?"_

 _I turned to face Arnold who was beaming beside me. "I think that sounds like just what this calls for," Arnold said and I smiled to him._

" _I couldn't agree more."_

 _So the four of us went out for ice cream at Slausen's with my big ole trophy and enjoyed each other's company laughing and talking the way a real family does when something amazing happens to someone. It was refreshing to get the kind of congratulations for once and to feel acknowledged by people I truly cared about. It was a feeling I'd never felt before in my entire life and I'll never forget it as long as I live._

 _Especially since I've written it down to live in infamy here in this precious journal I've yet to really thank Miles for._

 _More to come,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _ **So even though the all conference thing isn't real, the rest of it is as i went to a young writer's conference when i was in the sixth grade and it was a BLAST of an experience and i really thought helga would be a great candidate to go to one as well so that's the inspiration for this particular chapter.**_

 _ **how did you like it? what did you think? Please leave me a REVIEW and let me know!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	12. Entry 5

_Today was the day._

 _Today was the day where the entire class heard a poem by me, actually CLAIMED by me and not by 'anonymous' for the very first time._

 _And it felt AMAZING. Well. Sort of._

 _I sat in my assigned spot next to Arnold and Phoebe, Gerald sitting ahead of Arnold, and waited patiently for the teacher to announce my success at the young writer's conference on Friday; my anxiety growing as I knew he'd read my poem to the entire class. But why be anxious? I thought, Why bother be anxious when the poem would soon grace the magazine of Life and Times by next month for the entire nation to read at their own leisure?_

" _Class," the teacher greeted us before we started the English portion of our day just after lunch, "before we begin English hour, I'd like to announce something very important that happened just this last Friday to one of our fellow classmates."_

 _Being as hardly anyone knew about the existence of the young writer's conference, the class began to chatter among themselves in wonderment about what the announcement could be and about whom as I sat quietly in my chair awaiting the news with Arnold smiling my way and Gerald and Phoebe exchanging a look as I hadn't told them of my exciting information just yet._

" _What news?" Curly piped up from the crowd as a chorus of 'yeah's followed his question and the teacher gestured for everyone to quiet down before answering._

" _This last Friday was an event called the young writer's conference where one person from every class was chosen ahead of time to attend down in the city from every school in the state. And at that conference, kids were allowed to bring pieces of their work to be judged for the prestigious award of 'All Conference Winner' where their work would be published in the next issue of the Life and Times magazine which runs throughout the nation." The class oohed and ahhed at this while looking at each other in question as to who had been chosen to attend the conference our teacher was talking about while I sat silently awaiting for my name to finally be brought up._

" _You ready for this?" Arnold whispered over to me and I smiled while looking over to him._

" _For once... I think I actually am." I replied before our teacher spoke up once more._

" _And our very own Helga Pataki was chosen to go on this retreat and not only did she attend this conference, but she took home the all conference title with her poem, 'Ode to Myself!'" He announced before starting a clap that soon spread through the classroom as I blushed and looked down to my hands on my desk where they lay perfectly still as I awaited what was to come next._

 _And I wasn't disappointed._

" _Now, in celebration to her amazing win at the conference, I'd like to start out our English lesson by reading her poem for the class and analyzing it for our poetry lesson today. It truly could be by one of the greats and end up in one our textbooks one day. Bravo, Helga," he said and my blush reddened in my cheeks as I glanced up to meet his eyes before he pulled out my poem from the sheets of paper on his desk and cleared his throat in preparation to recite it to the class._

 _After he did so, the class looked over at me, staring, clearly in confusion that words so deep could come out of me, Helga G. Pataki._

" _So class," our teacher said while setting down the poem on his desk once more and then leaning against the wood, "what did we think?"_

 _Rhonda raised her hand and our teacher pointed to her as she dropped her hand and began speaking. "Personally, I'm impressed. I never knew such deep thoughts could ever come out of Helga G. Pataki."_

 _I rolled my eyes knowing her comment wouldn't be one of nice nature and sighed from where I sat, Arnold glancing over to look at me before turning to glare in Rhonda's direction before raising his hand._

" _Yes Arnold?" The teacher called on him and he lowered his hand to voice his opinion on my poem._

" _I'm not surprised at all, Rhonda-"_

" _Of COURSE you're not," she mumbled, though Arnold merely continued talking._

" _-I think that this poem shows a deep side to society's views as to who we show ourselves to be versus who we actually perceive ourselves to be. It shows that there is a divide to our personality. As least, that's what I get out of it." Arnold said confidently and I grinned knowing he was completely right at what I was trying to say in the poem. "And furthermore-" furthermore? "-I think that this poem shows that the writer feels lost within themselves even though they know there's someone behind the mask they are aware of. Something that...that...remains to be seen fully."_

" _Well said, Arnold," the teacher stated before turning to look at me, "but unlike with our textbooks, we actually have the writer here to ask if we are correct about their motives behind the poem so now I ask you, Helga, was that your inspiration behind this exceptional poem?"_

 _I felt the heat of my classmates' eyes staring at me and I adjusted in my seat uncomfortably before glancing to Arnold who mouthed the words, 'it's okay' and then nodded my head. "Yeah that uh... well it's something like that I guess."_

 _So that was my experience with my poem in front of my class and thankfully nobody brought it up again after we talked about it in class which I was thankful for. I didn't want them to read into it any further than Arnold already had for them. They didn't need to know what was going on in my head and why I wrote that poem. They didn't need to know that my whole life was just some act to hide my deep, meaningful feelings that made me feel weak and worthless and an entire push-over which I secretly was._

 _Well, at least when it came to Arnold that is._

 _That kid could make me do ANYTHING if he so chose. But he'd never use that power in vain. That's just the kind of guy he was. And for that, I am eternally thankful._

 _Anyway, time to give that football-head a call since I couldn't make it over to his place tonight._

 _Till later,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 _We're deep in wintertime here in Hillwood and wintertime means the winter concert for the sixth graders which is something I have not been looking forward to, almost as much as I am not looking forward to the sixth grader talent showcase that takes place in the spring._

 _But either way, Mr. Simmons is in charge of the concert so I guess there is a plus side to having Granola Boy in charge of our choir of fools- the guy knows music._

 _Anyway, we'll be singing some song from this animation movie called, "The Snowman" called, 'Walking in the Air' followed by 'Somewhere in my Memory' and finally finishing off with 'Let it Snow' the ever classic puke-fest of a winter-tune. At least the first two are pretty decent songs._

 _The concert is a week from tomorrow and we have a lot of cramming to do. I hate the whole singing thing, but I guess I'm good enough to get a solo or something next to Gerald the singing sensation. Arnold seems to be pretty proud of me though, and for that, I'm pretty pumped._

 _Doubt my parents will show for the concert though as it's the same week Olga will be gracing her with her presence again and we'll have to try and go forth with the same charade we pulled off the last two times she was home. But who knows, with mom on this whole new lifestyle change, maybe she'll win out and tell Olga everything against Bob's wishes and they'll show up after all. Either way, THIS time Olga'll be home for a whole WEEK so we'll see if our disaster-of-a-family can pull THAT off again. But who am I to lay claim on bets here? Maybe Olga will be the one to drag them along to see her 'dear baby sister' perform in the concert or maybe both her and mom will take Bob in chains. Honestly, anything can happen in THIS family._

 _Whatever happens, at least I know Stella and Miles will be there alongside with Arnold's grandparents and all the boarders, so I mean, SOMEONE will be there waving the flag for my honor. Well, OUR honor._

 _Off to do homework or maybe just blow it all off and write,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Wow, it's been a while since I've written in here._

 _You've got a LOT to catch up on my dear confidant._

 _What did I even talk about last? Let me re-read real quick..._

 _Okay, the concert. So the concert went fine and all. My solo was... alright. I kind of forgot some of the lyrics but I recovered nicely if I do say so myself though I think I gave Mr. Simmons a mild heart attack from where he stood in the wings. I was just really nervous, okay? All those stupid kids and parents watching me with their cameras clicking and lights shining on me. You'd think I'd be all over the stage-fright after my dabbling in theatrics in the past but considering Olga had forced my parents to come and support me in the whole deal, I was shaking and sweating like a madman and I just...forgot what I was singing halfway through. And it was ALL CAUGHT ON TAPE._

 _Criminy. What is my life?_

 _My parents tried to convince Olga of our fake-life once again, though, with little success this time from a little birdie telling her the truth. And it wasn't even me this time! Mom broke down and spilled the beans, much to dad's dismay. I was pretty proud of her. She stood up tall in front of Bob and Olga and announced loud and proud that we were flat broke and living out of the emporium. Honestly, my jaw dropped to the floor. I wanted to burst into applause, but I thought that might be a little inappropriate. Of course Olga erupted into sobs and then anger which was a side of Olga I'd never seen before. She was furious at our parents for lying to her and not telling her the truth about their financial struggle. I kinda felt bad for her, being so out of the loop and all. Our parents never seem to have either of our best interests in mind, only their own and I went to Olga from where she cried in the back of the store once the illusion had been broken._

" _Olga?" I asked quietly and she quickly wiped her tears away though she continued to blubber._

" _Oh, oh Helga, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to live like this," she said while reaching out to touch my shoulder. "How long have you been in this emporium?"_

 _I shrugged my shoulders, not as phased by all this as her. "Months now. Probably more than half a year."_

" _OH!" She broke while flying back into a flurry of tears and I tried my best to make it sound better than it really was._

" _Hey, hey, hey," I said calmly, "it isn't SO bad. I mean... yeah, dad makes me help out a lot with the business and yeah there isn't really a kitchen to make food in so we eat take-out a lot but I have...somewhere to go. Somewhere that's safe for me."_

 _Olga looked up with mascara-stained cheeks, her sobbing calmed for the moment. "You do?" She asked and I nodded my head._

" _A...a good friend."_

" _Phoebe?" She suggested and I shook my head, deciding to come clean if it would bring her any sort of peace in the situation and stop her from even possibly giving me the option to come away and live with her._

" _Arnold," I stated while looking down to my feet, "You remember him, don't you?"_

 _Olga nodded her head, an odd expression on her face. "That boy you saved while we were in San Lorenzo? The one with the funny shaped head and blonde hair?"_

 _I smiled, his face coming to my mind as I agreed with her description. "Yeah, Olga, that's him. His family has been more than kind to me and most nights I go over there to their home and spend time with them just to escape this place. I feel...welcome there. Like a home away from...well...here." I said with a gesture to the emporium which we were standing in._

" _I'm glad you have somewhere you can go. This isn't a suitable place to raise a child, Helga. Our parents...they've really messed up this time and I'm just so sorry you have to be in the middle of it." She apologized and I sighed while saying the only thing I could think of that might give her some hope in the bleak situation._

" _Look, I was planning on ditching here and going to Arnold's in a little bit. Do you uh... do you want to come with? I'm sure his parents wouldn't mind. And then you could see that it really is all okay. I have... I have parent figures now that DO care about me unlike Mom and Dad. So I'm really alright. You don't have to worry about me while you're gone."_

 _Olga shook her head tentatively, "Oh Helga, I couldn't..."_

" _Nah, you really can," I said, "I don't mind. And trust me, neither will they. Or Arnold."_

 _So off we went, Bob protesting all the while, to my safe haven, Olga in tow. And when I knocked on the familiar boarding house doors, Arnold was more than surprised to see my guest standing next to me with a smile planted on her face._

" _Olga?" He asked and I nodded my head while she spoke._

" _Hello Arnold. Helga told me she's been spending a lot of time here lately and she invited me over to-"_

" _To get away from our parents," I finished for her. "The cat's out of the bag about Bob and Miriam losing all their money."_

" _Oh boy," Arnold said while reaching up to rub at the back of his neck before he opened the door further. "Come on in, we're just getting ready for dinner."_

 _Olga leaned over to me before we entered the house, "Do you usually join them for supper?" She asked and I nodded my head._

" _All the time. It's fine, really. Just relax, alright? You're in my safe haven, now." I confidently said and she nodded while following me inside._

 _Of course, Stella and Miles were gracious to Olga as she cried while explaining how foolish she felt to have believed them and how horrid she felt to know that I'd been living in that situation for so long now. She thanked them for taking me in and making sure that I was safe and doing alright and of course they said it was no problem as they loved having me around, something Olga was thrilled to hear._

" _Helga's never been the greatest at making friends," Olga said as she sat on the couch and I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms._

" _I make friends just fine, Olga," I mumbled though only Arnold heard me and he chuckled softly._

" _Well she fits in just great around the boarding house," Miles said from where he sat on the chair next to the sofa. "She's really become part of the family and a great addition to our Arnold's life." He said with a wink and Arnold blushed while looking down to his lap._

" _I'm just so happy to hear that. Helga's really needed more people in her life to support her. And with me being gone so much, I worry about her and how she's doing," Olga said with a small frown and Miles nodded his head sympathetically._

" _Well you don't have to worry. She's safe here. And she always has somewhere to stay as long as we're around." Miles said proudly before pushing himself up to stand and stretching slightly. "Well, I'd say from those eluding smells from the kitchen that dinner is just about finished. Whattya say we head on in there for some grub?"_

 _So of course we headed in for food, homemade lasagna, and Olga stole the show like she usually did but I didn't even mind this time around because the conversation didn't revolve all around her and her achievements. In fact, she spent a lot of the time gushing over me and how proud she was of all that I'd accomplished, including my big steal at the young writer's conference. It was slightly embarrassing, but also amazing to have a meal with Olga where she wasn't constantly the center of attention and being the best daughter in the entire world. And Miles and Stella were the best hosts. They asked plenty of questions about Olga, but asked about both of us as well, our lives together and growing up, the lives that we'd led and what life was like for us now. They seemed genuinely interested in all we had to say and around that table, we could be completely honest without having to fake any of our answers like we usually had to around Bob and Miriam._

 _It was refreshing to just be ourselves, and I could sense that Olga felt so too. By the end of the night, as we were saying our goodbyes and headed for the door, Olga stopped me and set a hand on my shoulder._

" _Helga, thank you so much for telling me to come with you tonight. I can see why you call this place your safe haven. Stella and Miles are amazing." She said and I smiled in agreement._

" _They really are. They're the kind of parents I hope to be someday. If I ever get lucky enough that is."_

 _Olga glanced over my shoulder at Arnold and then back to me with a smile on her face. "Something tells me you will, but I'm afraid dear baby sister, that this is where I leave you for the night."_

" _What?" I asked, and she let her hand fall from my shoulder while nodding her head._

" _I think your little friend Arnold wants you to stay just a bit longer, and if I were you, I'd stay. After all, he is your boyfriend now, isn't he? And first boyfriends are awfully special."_

 _My eyes widened. "How-How did you KNOW that?" I asked and she shrugged, her smile wide on her face as I confirmed her suspicions._

" _I'm your big sister, Helga. I can sense these things. And I wholeheartedly approve. Let me deal with mommy and daddy. Besides, I think we have a lot to talk about."_

 _And with one more goodbye, she was gone, leaving me with Arnold at the front of the boarding house before he whisked me away to his room where we took a seat on his couch and bed to talk about the night we'd just had._

" _So Olga, huh? Never thought you'd invite her over here," Arnold stated and I shrugged with a blank expression._

" _She needed to get out of the emporium after figuring out all the facts of the situation." I responded and Arnold nodded his head with a sly look on his face._

" _And just how exactly did she figure it all out? It wasn't you, now was it?"_

 _I laughed nervously, looking around myself awkwardly, "Me?" I said mid-laugh, "What on earth makes you think it was ME that spilled the beans and told her all about my parent's lame plan to convince her we were still rich and living the dream life back at home?" I blurted out quickly and Arnold read right through me with his half-lidded gaze and crossed his arms._

" _Helga..." He scolded and I threw my arms in the air._

" _What?!" I exclaimed, "She had the right to know what I'm going through over there! And she had the right to know that our parents were lying to her outright. Don't you think?"_

 _Of course he agreed and we spent the rest of the night talking about homework which was our poetry assignment that he desperately needed my help with. It was nice. And at the end of the night he gave me a peck on the lips that I am still thinking about to this moment as I sit here writing about it in you._

 _Is it too much to say that every moment spent with Arnold is a moment spent in pure bliss? Is it too much to think that this could be the beginning of the rest of my life? Maybe. Maybe I'm being hopelessly optimistic about it all, but honestly? I don't care. I'm just happy it's all happening the way it is and I'm trying to live one day at a time._

 _It's hard. Like REALLY hard. Like STUPID hard. But I'm trying my best to look at Arnold as my saving grace in this dumb world. He's become my rock, oddly enough._

 _And I'm never letting go._

 _Strangely Optimistic,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Arnold and I got into a fight today._

 _It was dumb, really and fueled by some emotions I didn't even know where they sprouted from._

 _I was at his house, just doing homework, when he wouldn't listen to what I was saying about the poem I was writing._

" _It's just not good or something." I said and he looked up from his book and turned to gaze over at me._

" _I thought it was really good."_

" _Well what do YOU know anyway?" I spat back at him while tapping my pencil on the notebook angrily. "This poem has to be PERFECT, don't you get it?"_

" _But why?" Arnold asked, "It's just an assignment."_

" _People expect so much from me now after that conference," I explained, "Every poem has to top the last."_

 _Arnold frowned while closing his book. "Isn't that a little unrealistic? I mean you can't always top the last poem you write. You'll go crazy trying."_

" _What, you think I'm crazy now?" I assumed and Arnold's eyes widened at my statement._

" _WH-what? Helga, that's not what I was implying-" he tried but I slammed my notebook shut and stood up from the couch where I had been sitting and shoved my notebook into my backpack and forced it onto my back._

" _Yeah, SURE you weren't." I said sarcastically, "Just like you weren't implying that my poetry can never top the one I won with."_

" _What are you_ talking _about, Helga?" Arnold asked growing more agitated as I continued talking like word vomit protecting out of my mouth._

" _Just quit with the act, football-head, I KNOW what you're thinking- you're thinking EXACTLY what I'm thinking. I'll NEVER beat that stupid poem no matter HOW hard I try."_

" _That's not what I'm saying at all Helga, why are you acting like this?" He asked and I threw my hands up in the air, tears beginning to well up in my eyes._

" _I...I don't KNOW!" I hollered while reaching up to wipe the tears spilling onto my cheeks, "What the... what is WRONG with me?" I questioned as Arnold stared at me questioningly from where he sat before standing up and walking towards me though I reached out to stop him._

" _Don't... just don't, Arnold. I don't need a pep talk or some words of wisdom from your freakish head, okay? I just... I need to leave or something, clear my head," I sniffled while trying to stop the tears from forming as they continued flowing down my cheeks._

 _And I left. I just ran out of there, Stella and Miles calling after me wondering where I was headed though me and my freakish crying had no idea where I was headed next. It wasn't like I could just go back to the beeper emporium covered in salty tears._

 _So I went to the only other place I knew I would be safe and might have a clue as to what the heck was going on with me._

 _I went to Phoebe's._

" _Helga?" She asked when she answered the door and I wiped my face as I nodded my head. "Are you alright? You're crying."_

" _Well no doi, Pheebs," I replied with a sniffle, before she offered me inside and up to her room where we sat on her bed and she asked for the recap of what happened which I messily gave to her until she nodded her head and finally gave me the answer I'd been searching for to my sudden change of mood._

" _Helga," Phoebe said soothingly, "It sounds to me like perhaps your hormones may be taking control of the situation at hand."_

" _My hormones?" I repeated and she nodded her head._

" _They can have a great deal to do with our emotions, especially in females and particularly around the time of menstruation." she continued to explain and I rolled my eyes._

" _Yuck, Pheebs, I don't need a sex-ed lesson. I'm sure we'll be getting one of those soon enough in Health class."_

" _Within the next few week,_ _actually," Phoebe said and I sighed while looking down at my hands._

" _If it IS hormones, do you think Arnold will forgive me? Like...understand and all that?"_

 _Phoebe smiled, looking to me and nodding her head. "Arnold is an understanding person with an extraordinary sense of compassion. I'm sure if you ask for forgiveness, he'll be more than willing to grant it to you. Especially since the two of you are in a solid relationship." She set a hand on my lap and squeezed my thigh. "I have a feeling it would take a lot more than a silly argument to break the two of you up so easily."_

 _I just hope Phoebe is right and all it is are some whacked out hormones inside of me going crazy or something. And I really hope that Arnold forgives me for whatever it is that happened between us._

 _Maybe health class can shed some light on what happened next week. Either that, or it'll just be a big hour of hot embarrassment._

 _Finally cried out,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _oooooh health class is coming up so that's exciting. are you all excited for what's to come? Please leave a REVIEW and let me know what you think!_**

 ** _Also, to those of you wondering if 3rd person chapters are coming back, the answer is yes, but it is still a few chapters ahead before they return but i promise they will be making a comeback!_**

 ** _stay tuned!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	13. Entry 6

**_I just wanna give a forewarning that the next 2 chapters will deal with the awkwardness that is puberty so be advised._**

 ** _._**

* * *

 _Let me start you out with two words that can describe how my day went._

 _Swimming Class._

 _That's right. Since it's winter and all, we've started using the new indoor pool that was installed over the summer and let me tell you, swimming class is a joke for a variety of reasons._

 _And for YOUR convenience, I'll list the bogus reasons just for your reading pleasure._

 _A) We have to go to swimming class 2 days out of the week. It's supposed to get us used to the swimming classes we'll have to endure every OTHER day when we're in middle school. Ridiculous._

 _B) Introduce the LOCKER ROOM AKA the most AWKWARD PLACE KNOWN TO MAN. I'll get to THAT later._

 _C) The class is CO-ED which means we have to swim with the guys who gawk at our newly forming bodies only making the whole thing even MORE awkward than it has to be._

 _And finally, D) Who the heck cares about swimming ANYWAY? I mean, unless you're gonna be some world class swimmer or something, why is it something us sixth graders have to be the only ones who have to endure it? Literally, we are the ONLY class, and the FIRST class who has to start this lame tradition of swimming class. PLUS the teacher of it isn't even our gym teacher, mind you, it's our SCIENCE teacher who used to be a swimmer in college or something. So what even, I ask you? What's the actual point?_

 _Now that THAT'S all out of my system, let me talk a little bit more about the locker rooms and swimming class itself and the horrors of both of them._

 _Let's start with the locker room since it's the first step and the first of the terrors that await in that which is swimming class._

 _First of all, there's a warden of the locker room named Shirley and she's made of pure evil. She wanders around the small room full of tall red lockers watching everyone to make sure that nobody is goofing off or checking their phones while getting ready for either gym or swimming._

 _Wait, wait, wait. I forgot to mention. There's TWO locker rooms. One for gym class, and one for swimming. Both are awkward, but the swimming one is significantly worse. I'll talk about the gym one first._

 _So Shirley walks around, checking to make sure nobody is on their phones or goofing off or what have you. She carries around a brush that was left behind from ages ago and slaps it on her hand with each step she takes like a literal jail warden, which is where she gets her nickname, and tells us to hurry along every now and again as we rush to cover our half-naked bodies with our smelly gym clothes and rush to the gymnasium just down the hall._

 _It's like cattle being rounded up._

 _Then there's the SWIMMING locker room which is significantly smaller than the regular locker room. We all scramble to get one of the top lockers so we don't have to bend down to toss our stuff in the small lockers as we take our clothes off anxiously in hopes nobody will look at our blossoming bodies. Silence falls over the room as we itch to throw on the swimming suits as quickly as possible in hopes nobody will catch a sight of flesh that ought not to be seen by anyone... at least not at this point in our young lives. Much to Rhonda's dismay, we are each issued a used swimming suit that looks uniform to the rest in all different sizes hung up on a rack in the room. They're old, all blue, and one pieces at that that cover every inch of our unmentionables._

 _After dressing ourselves with the ugly swimming suits, we hurry through the shower area and to that of the swimming pool where the boys flock out of their equally small (I imagine) locker room wearing swimming trunks that are all black and uniform to each other just like our suits. But unlike their suits, ours hug our bodies and we'd be fools not to see them eyeing our forms as we walk out of the locker room doors and head for the box full of swimming caps the girls are forced to wear to cover our heads of hair so that not even a strand enters the pool itself._

 _Rhonda and a few of the other girls flaunt about the pool before entering, of course, to show off their slim figures and proud physique while the rest of us jump into the pool as fast as we possibly can in hopes that the chlorine-filled waters will cover up our bodies to hide them from the eyes of the boys until we begin our laps and other such foolish activities that we are forced to perform just to get a good grade._

 _And then there's the lucky few- the lucky few who, every few weeks or so, have their periods (or so they SAY) and they get to walk laps around the pool in their gym clothes while the rest of us swim back and forth in our lanes in the pool from shallow to deep depending on our swimming capabilities. Of course, Shirley kept track of those periods on her calendar to make sure girls weren't lying just to get out of swimming class which is ridiculous even though I'd heard around the rumor mill that it had been done on the rare occasion._

 _Me? I haven't had the privilege (HA) to get my period yet so I'm perpetually stuck in the middle lane next to Arnold's lane ironically. There's some comfort and humility in that somehow as I'm not yet ready to show Arnold my growing body or the way its lanky figure looks with a wet suit hugging my body like how my flesh does to my bones._

 _The worst part of swimming class, however, is getting done with it. You have to get out of the pool and rush to get to a towel to cover yourself so nobody sees your body now that the suit is practically attached to you. We run (though the teacher always yells at us not to) to hit the showers which is even MORE awkward cause NOBODY (except Rhonda and her crew of crazies) actually full-on showers and we all usually avoid them because, get this, they didn't even give us CURTAINS for privacy. So then we make it to the locker room where we struggle to get the sticky suits off of us while holding the towels as openly as we can to cover our bodies while we change back into our clothes, smothered with the smell of chemicals for the rest of the day. It's miserable._

 _I don't know what it's like for the guys, but for the girls it's a shamefest. We're so scared of showing our bodies to one another (well, SOME of us that is) and to the boys, that the entire class is just a class of misery fueled by embarrassment hinted with a dash of actual knowledge that it hardly seems like it should be a class at all._

 _And THAT'S why I hate swimming class and winter altogether._

 _I'll have to ask Arnold what HE thinks of swimming. That is, if he forgives me for my crazy outburst from the other day._

 _Already ready for spring,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So after I apologized to Arnold for being so horrible to him the other day, I talked to him about what he thought about swimming class. Turns out we have some of the same fears and I didn't even realize it._

 _We sat in his room, working on homework, when I turned to look at him while chewing on my pen's cap. "Hey Arnold?" I asked and he turned to face me._

" _Hmm?" He hummed and I dropped my pen to my side to fiddle with it between my fingers._

" _So that uh... that swimming class, huh?" I said and he raised his brow at me._

" _What about it?"_

" _Well I don't know!" I snapped before stopping and turning my head down to look at the pen as I continued to fidget with it. "I mean... I guess I just really hate it, you know?"_

" _Why's that?" He wondered and I shrugged my shoulders feeling timid and afraid of my own words._

" _I guess," I started, "I guess because it's so... WEIRD, and all. I mean...making us parade around like that."_

 _Arnold furrowed his brow in confusion. "Like what?"_

" _Maybe you don't get it because all YOU have to wear is swim trunks but US? We have to wear those GOD AWFUL swimming suits and-"_

" _How are they any different than a swimming suit you'd wear at the beach?" Arnold interrupted me and I turned to look up at him in surprise at his point._

" _I mean, well, I GUESS you're right, but there's something about those USED gross things that EVERYBODY wears. And having to wear them at school in front of... of EVERYONE. People I wouldn't normally wear them in front of. Maybe I'm not comfortable wearing a swimsuit anymore. At least not now." I mumbled and Arnold nodded his head while setting his book aside and turning to face me completely._

" _Helga, are you trying to say that you're uncomfortable with being around us boys?" He asked and blush rose to my cheeks as I solemnly nodded my head._

" _It's just a little embarrassing is all," I finally said and he sighed while nodding his own head._

" _Trust me, I understand."_

" _You-you do?" I asked and he smiled over to me in almost a sad way._

" _I really do. You know, it isn't the easiest for us guys either. Some of us are uncomfortable with our bodies too and wish we didn't have to go to swimming class either. At least you girls have the option of walking around the pool instead." He said blindly and I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms._

" _If you really think we have the option to just walk around versus swimming, then you're even more dense than I thought," I stated and he looked at me, confused._

" _Well then why do the girls get to walk and the boys don't?" He asked and my eyes widened as I realized he really didn't know._

 _But of COURSE he didn't know. It wasn't like his grandparents told him about the ways of a woman's body or his freshly brought-back parents. And it wasn't like he had an older sister like I had to tell me what my future body would bring me when it came to puberty._

 _Then again, I wasn't the one who was about to tell Arnold all about periods and other such things. I'd leave that to the professionals for the upcoming weeks when health class would cover that topic. For now, I just sat on his bed and stared at him with wide eyes before shaking my head out of my thoughts and taking a deep breath. "We have our reasons, trust me," I told him and he seemed to accept that answer for now and nodded his head._

" _Either way," he said, "Swimming class is just as awkward for us as it is for you, trust me."_

" _You really think so?" I asked him and he nodded his head while looking down at his lap._

" _Especially in the locker room. I imagine ours is just... a lot different than yours. Guys can be... weird and overly confident about... about things."_

" _Things?" I asked and he nodded his head._

" _And if they notice something about you that doesn't fit their image or does fit their image, well, they treat you differently and it can make things... uncomfortable."_

 _I nodded my head thinking of Rhonda right away. "I get that," I said with a nod. "I TOTALLY get that. We have girls like that in our locker room."_

" _Let me guess... Rhonda?" He asked and I chuckled and pointed a finger in his direction._

" _You hit the nail on the head, hair boy."_

" _Take my advice and don't let her get to you, okay?" Arnold advised, "Even if you were on her side of things, I wouldn't want you to turn into her. The grass isn't always greener just because you look like someone else."_

" _But I don't, even if I wanted to." I said while looking down and Arnold reached out to tilt my chin upward to face him and he smiled at me._

" _I think you're perfect just the way you are, Helga." He said and I beamed as I looked at him, his words sinking into my every pore._

" _Really?" I asked and he laughed a small laugh._

" _One of these days, I'm going to get you to believe me, Helga G. Pataki," he said before letting go of my chin and letting me shudder at the lack of his touch._

" _We'll see," I teased before we went back to homework and being quiet until dinner came around and we headed downstairs for our usual routine that had become the norm for us at least three times a week. It's funny, spending so much time with Arnold. You'd think he'd be sick of me by now but he never leads on that he is. I know I'LL never get sick of him, but I thought for sure he would of me but he never does._

 _I hope he never does. I don't know what I'd do if he ever did._

 _Feeling a little better,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Hi._

 _I think my hormones are acting up again and at full force this time. And unfortunately, they went to the wrong person this time. Alas, my victim to the poor hormone-infused craze was Stella who of course was understanding and all that, but I still feel bad about it._

 _I should probably give you some more details though, shouldn't I?_

 _Ugh. Okay, okay, you talked me into it._

 _So there I was, standing in the kitchen with Stella helping to make stir fry by cutting up vegetables of various sorts while Stella fried up the meat in a pan on the stove._

" _So how's school?" She asked and I frowned, shrugging my shoulders._

" _Fine I guess," I stated blankly before redirecting the conversation and turning to face Stella. "Do you ever miss your adventures in the jungle and whatnot?"_

" _Sometimes, but I'm just happy to be home," she said with a smile while mixing the meat with some seasoning as it sizzled in the pan._

" _Well Hillwood sucks," my words came out bluntly and Stella turned to face me with a confused look on her face._

" _Why do you say that?" she asked and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _I've been here my whole life. I know better than you." I returned my gaze back down to the snap peas I was cutting the tops off of, "No offense," I mumbled._

 _Stella chuckled while taking a taste of her meat mixture and adding another dash of seasoning. "Well you'll have your chance to experience the world. You're still young, you know." she told me but I shook my head defiantly._

" _I doubt it," I said rather frankly, "I doubt I'll ever be able to leave this city."_

" _You will," Stella confidently replied but I continued to shake my head while moving on to cut a variety of peppers._

" _But I won't!" I exclaimed, dropping the knife to the side of the cutting board loudly. "I'll be stuck here all alone." I insisted and Stella set her spoon down to the side of the pan and wiped her hands on her apron before turning to face me and sighing._

" _I highly doubt that," she said calmly, "And besides, you don't know your future."_

" _But I do!" I continued to yell while tears began to well in my eyes, I'm just... just not good enough!" I finally admitted and Stella looked at my sympathetically while tilting her head to the side as she looked at me._

" _Helga, you are good enough. Good enough by far." She told me earnestly, her voice warm and serious though I lashed out at her, my emotions getting the better of me._

" _But what if I'm not, huh?" I demanded to know. "What if I'm not?!" I shouted mid-cry, my voice breaking as I spoke; my fists clenching at my sides with each word that left my mouth. "What if all of this is some lie and I'm really not good enough to leave here or good enough for your son or for anyone for that matter? What if I'm destined to be alone with seven cats that I'm allergic to in some trailer park all by myself with nothing but my hatred for the world and all the people in it?" I huffed after my speech, the sound of my breathing and the bubbling of Stella's stir fry being the only noises between us as I tried to catch my breath while Stella tried to find the right words to say to calm me down._

 _After a moment, Stella finally spoke up, her words serious as she talked to me. "Aren't you being a bit dramatic?" She asked as a tear fell down my cheek and I rushed to wipe it away, though she noticed and instead went a different approach with talking to me, her words coming out soft as she attempted talking to me again."Helga, where is all of this coming from?"_

" _I don't even know," I said softly as more tears began to spill over my lids, "I've just been thinking and I realized that I'm not this PERSON who's good like you or Miles or Arnold and I'm not, well, I'm not ANYTHING!"The anger in me spoke up again and Stella remained calm from where she stood, her voice not even trembling at my volume as she continued to be the voice of reason to my unkind words to myself._

" _Helga you_ are _something," she proceeded to say, "You're talented and bright and generous and kind. Those are all traits that will get you far in life if you let them."_

" _But what if they don't?" I asked mid-sob, my emotions getting the better of me and I frowned as the tears took complete control of me though I tried to stop them. Realizing it was no use, I threw my arms up in the air and exclaimed, "Oh criminy, why am I crying?!"_

" _Because you're emotional," Stella explained for me "and that's okay."_

" _No, Stella, it's not!" I yelled back at her but she shook her head while walking towards me to set a hand on my shoulder._

" _It is," she insisted, "It's okay to cry and to feel and to have emotions that are confusing and overwhelming sometimes."_

" _But I get them so much these days," I said while throwing my hands down to my sides in resolution. "I just don't understand. Like this week has been CRAZY with my emotions. Phoebe says it's hormones, but I don't believe her."_

 _Stella shrugged her shoulders, the thought seeming to have crossed her mind though she didn't let it show. "It could very well be. You're growing up. That's just what happens."_

" _How do I make them stop?" I demanded to know but Stella merely laughed and shook her head._

" _Well, Helga, you don't. You just learn how to work with them," She explained. "It takes time, but you'll figure it all out. I did when I was your age too."_

" _You mean... YOU cried this much too?" I asked in amazement that such a strong woman could be a blubbering mess like me at some point in her life too._

" _Oh goodness, yes," she said with a laugh before going on, "You're changing. The chemistry of your body is changing too and that brings about new emotions." She squeezed my shoulder before turning around and heading back to the meat that was calling for her attention back at the stove. "But you'll get through it just as I did and just as all girls do. I promise."_

 _I sure hope she's right. I don't know what my body thinks it's doing, but I'm pretty sick of it at this point. Either way, I guess I'm just along for the ride._

 _Can't wait till health class on Tuesday (insert heavy sarcasm here),_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

 _._

* * *

 _So NOBODY and I mean NOBODY is looking forward to health class tomorrow._

 _The air in the class is a tension you couldn't even cut with a knife because everyone knows what we'll be talking about. The big 'P' word. Puberty._

 _Who even wants to talk about that? At this point, most of us have had 'the talk' with our parents so it isn't like we haven't heard KIND OF what's going on or will be going on with our bodies and stuff, but health class will consist of awkward videos, creepy diagrams and graceless conversations about the human bodies both female and male._

 _And the worst part? They separate us. The girls stay in one room while the guys go off to another so we can talk SEPARATELY about these topics to avoid us of further embarrassment which I GUESS is kind of nice of our teachers to do being as it's such a sensitive topic._

 _Oh wait, THAT'S not the worst part. Word on the street is you get GOODIE bags. That's right. You get to walk out of that weird class with bags full of products like deodorant and tampons and other such crap that everyone just laughs about to cut the tension of it being totally creepy and unnecessary. Trust me when I say that if we want that stuff and need it, we'll find a way to get it AKA our parents or in my case, the nurse or somebody._

 _The OTHER rumor going around is that they give the guys condoms. Now I don't know if THAT'S true cause I'm sure they don't want 11 and 12 year olds out on the town having sex with each other, but maybe they want to cover their bases or something. I don't know._

 _Either way, I know I'M not all that excited about whatever's to come tomorrow in this class. I've been pushing off this day in my head for ages now ever since they made our parents sign the permission slips for it and now that it's actually here, I'm a little freaked._

 _Phoebe says there's nothing to be worried about because it's all natural and information that we need to know as we 'go forth with our growing into our new and improved bodies' but I say bull crap and I'd rather just go with the flow of it all._

 _But I guess it's something I have to know. I don't know. I wonder how Arnold feels about all this. It's way too awkward of a topic to just ask him so I'd never dream of bringing it up to him just to find out. But I'm sure the kid is just as nervous and overthinking the whole deal like I am._

 _Anyway, here's to learning about the human body and hoping I don't die of embarrassment!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _WHO'S READY FOR HEALTH CLASS?!_**

 ** _Honestly, I'm so pumped for this next chapter because it's gonna be great._**

 ** _a few fun facts about this chapter, the swimming class portion is 100% what my swimming class was like when i had to take it in 7th and 8th grade. so sad and so true. so the awkwardness is very real and while writing it, i couldn't believe how ridiculous it sounded when putting it on virtual paper lol ._**

 _ **Anyway, please let me know what you think by leaving a REVIEW cause I'd love to hear your feedback!**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	14. Entry 7

_**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ: Once again, folks, this is the second of the two chapters involving puberty. this chapter IS NOT pertinent to read if you feel uncomfortable with the topic of** **menstruation (it isn't graphic)** **, please just skip if you feel uncomfortable but please, i implore you, come back for the next chapter. HOWEVER if you can manage to make it through the awkwardness of the period part, (DON'T WORRY, IT ISN'T GRAPHIC) which i will say is just a normal part of life that even our dear characters will have to deal with eventually, i promise PROMISE this chapter is worth it so please, give it a shot. Either way, Enjoy!**_

 _That's it._

 _Today was the worst day of my life. And I'm not just being dramatic. It was literally, and by all means LITERALLY the worst day of my ENTIRE life._

 _I got my first period._

 _And sure, you might be thinking, 'Gee Helga, it was bound to happen, what could possibly be so bad about a little blood?' Well let me TELL you what's so bad about it, shall I?_

 _It all started with stupid health class. Our teacher let Mr. Simmons take the boys to his classroom while his students were at lunch and us girls stayed in our classroom with the school librarian Mrs. Alibaster. Then began the presentation- a creepy video that was older than the invention of video itself. And of course, the video was as awkward as I imagined it would be. We all squirmed in our seats as the woman onscreen talked about the different hormones and changes our bodies would go through during puberty while Mrs. Alibaster stood gawkily in the corner watching along with a strange smile on her face as if she were reminiscing fondly of her times back in HER days of puberty. As if THAT were a thing people did._

 _Finally, after 15 minutes of excruciatingly bad acting and grainy film, the movie ended and the lights flipped on so that Mrs. Alibaster could ask us if we had any questions which OF COURSE nobody wanted to admit if we did or didn't. I just had to go to the bathroom. But I didn't dare ask to go. I'm sure she wouldn't let me ANYWAY because she'd just think that I was trying to get out of the class._

 _So next on the agenda was diagram central, where we got to learn the NEXT horrible section of things... the men's anatomy where everyone was very immature except for Phoebe who kept silent but wide-eyed in almost shock at what she was witnessing. The poor girl. I think they broke her._

 _But all the while, I couldn't stop squirming in my seat. My abdomen was killing me and I had to go to the bathroom so bad and the longer I held it, I could have sworn I might pee my freakin' pants._

 _That's when the presentation at last ended and I was relieved to see Mrs. Alibaster begin to hand out our little rumored goodie bags full of tampons, pads, and deodorant which everyone looked into and giggled though I just snatched mine and focused harder on holding my bladder which I could have sworn was going to explode from the pain I was in, and I hoped I could get to the bathroom in time before I wet myself. That is, if I hadn't already. I could tell that it was getting close and if I waited any longer, I'd be in some real trouble and might need that pad for other uses._

 _At long last, the boys entered the classroom with Mr. Simmons, all of the kids laughing about their goodie bags full of deodorant, and the rumored condoms. Apparently they'd had a much different conversation than we'd had and Arnold came back with rosy cheeks and a shell-shocked expression locked on his face. I felt bad for him. The poor naive kid's giant football-brains had probably exploded. Would he look at me differently now? Now that he knew the truth behind why the girls got to walk around the swimming pool and the guys didn't? Now that he knew why we reacted the way we did around our 'time of the month?' What would our relationship look like now that he knew the truth of what we, what_ I _would be going through?_

 _But I didn't have time to think about that, I could feel something wet soaking in my underwear and I knew that if I didn't leave for the restroom now, it would definitely soak through my skirt and I'd be the laughing stock of the entire grade._

 _If only I knew._

 _If only I knew that the moment I shot my hand straight up in the air and asked to go to the bathroom. If only I knew that when I stood up and made my way to head out the door. If only I knew that all my classmates had noticed the bright red splotch on my backside that I would be the laughing stock of the grade ANYWAY, maybe I would have left sooner._

 _But the fact is I_ didn't _know, and I proceeded anyway only to hear someone call out after me as I tried to make my way to the bathroom._

" _Is that_ blood _on Helga's skirt?" The voice asked and I turned around to look at my butt and see bright red soaking through to stare up at me._

 _The world grew small around me as if I were looking at the butt end of a set of binoculars, my head starting to spin as I stood frozen by the door with my red secret staring out at the classroom._

" _Oh my god!" Harold called out. "Helga got her period! That's so gross!"_

" _Yeah!" Sid chimed in. "What a bloody Mary!"_

 _Soon, the class began their chanting, mostly from the boys who were all too willing to give in. "Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!"_

 _I glanced around the room, searching for anyone to come to my rescue, the only kind eyes looking back at me were that of the fellow girls and Arnold who's eyes were kind, but also terrified and I knew immediately that this was the moment I'd lost him, lost him completely._

 _My period was the period to our relationship._

 _But that was the least of my worries right now._

" _Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!" The boys continued to chant_

 _I turned around and clenched my fists while shouting, "Shut up, you ignoramuses!" before Mr. Simmons finally stepped in to stand in front of me like a human shield and stop the kids from chanting immediately._

" _Kids, kids!" He called out, "This is no way to act, especially after our lesson on the human body. If it's anything that we've learned today, it's that this is a completely normal process for the female body and nothing to be ashamed of." Mr. Simmons turned around to face me with a sad smile on his face. "Helga, why don't you go to my room. In my desk on the bottom drawer is a box of pads just for this occasion."_

 _I raised a brow. "But why-"_

" _Don't ask questions, just go there and take a few. I'll talk to your classmates."_

 _Tears welled in my eyes though I managed to keep them back. "Thanks Simmons," I said before taking off in the hallway in search of Mr. Simmons' room, quickly finding my old classroom and the said box of pads and then rushing to the bathroom to put the pad on the way the instructions directed me to and then sat on the toilet not knowing what to do next._

 _I couldn't just go BACK there. Not with my dress covered in blood. I'd be called bloody Mary for the rest of the day for sure if I wasn't going to be already. Criminy! What was I supposed to do? Just sit in there until school was over? Could I even do that? Surely they'd notice at SOME point that I'd been gone the entire day. But then again, given the circumstances, they might be kind and just LET me seeing all I'd been through already. Maybe they'd take pity on me and just let me hang in the bathroom all day with my Aunt Flo._

 _But after a few minutes of self-loathing and inward conversation, the door opened and the clickety clack of heels entered the room and I found myself holding my breath until a voice called out for me._

" _Helga?" A voice I recognized as Rhonda's asked and I raised my brow while answering back._

" _Rhonda?" I mumbled through the stall. "What are YOU doing here? Came to throw pads at me or something like in Carrie? Cause I'm in no mood."_

" _What?" She asked, not understanding my reference, "No, no, I came to uh... to offer help."_

" _Help?" I repeated, confused. "What makes you want to help me? What's in it for you?"_

 _Rhonda stopped at my stall and leaned against the door, crossing her ankles together and sighing. "Well, much like you, I too just got my period. Maybe not quite as... publicly... as you, but I know what you're going through." She said as I imagined she inspected her nail-bed. "And I came to offer you some assistance. If you're up for it."_

" _Oh yeah?" I asked, intrigued by her offer, "What's the catch?"_

" _No catch," she said simply, "Here," she warned before throwing a pair of black jeans over the top of the stall to land in my hands. "These are from last season and I've had them in my locker for FOREVER. I was just going to throw them out, but given the circumstances... I think you need them. You have a shirt to wear?" She asked then and I shrugged my shoulders though she couldn't see._

" _I figure I can just wear my undershirt-"_

" _Oh no," she cut me off, "You simply CAN'T be seen wearing THOSE pants with an UNDERSHIRT, my goodness!" She laughed out loud before tossing over a pink sweater next. "Pink isn't really my color," she stated before clicking and clacking her way out of the bathroom before pausing as she got to the door. "And just so you know," she said before leaving, "us girls? We have your back on all of this. Those_ boys _won't have a word in edgewise when_ we're _through with them."_

 _And with that, she left the bathroom so I could change my clothes and discard them into the trashcan and inspect myself in the bathroom mirror._

 _I looked okay. It wasn't really my style to wear jeans and a sweatshirt, though I'd never really tried before. Hey, maybe this could be a new look for me. Either way, it would have to be at least for the rest of the day._

 _Speaking of the rest of the day, it went by slowly but quietly. Nobody said another word and while people mumbled what I thought to be the hints of 'Bloody Mary' all it took was one look from either myself or another girl for them to shut their faces immediately so whatever it is that Princess did or Mr. Simmons said, it must have worked._

 _The whole thing was pretty traumatic to be honest. I don't know how long it'll take me to get over the whole thing, but to be honest, i don't really feel all that different. I'm just sort of mad that after everything they learned, the boys STILL had to go and call me names. But then again, boys are dumb and that's that. They're still immature and just being...well...immature._

 _So sure, the end of the day was fine, but that doesn't make what happened earlier any better. And that doesn't change the fact that Arnold didn't talk to me the rest of the day or invite me over for the night at all any less hurtful. I know he knew what happened, how could he not? Everyone saw it and everyone made sure that he heard it. I got my period, big whoop, so why did he have to be so immature as to not want anything to do with me because of it? Hadn't he learned ANYTHING in that stupid class of his?_

 _I just hope either Miles or Stella will talk some sense into him if he brings it up to them tonight or in the upcoming nights if he continues to ignore me. Surely they'll notice at some point and start asking questions._

 _Ugh. Could life GET any worse?_

 _Cramped and Cranky,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

 _P.S- I guess this explains why I've been so tearful lately, huh?_

 _I got a personal call from Stella today._

 _Pretty weird, right? I mean, seeing as Arnold hasn't spoken a WORD to me in nearly two days since the incident and all._

 _Anyway, she called the beeper store, knowing I'd be there since I have nowhere else to go, and asked for me._

" _Hey Helga, that friend Albert of yours mom is on the phone? She wants to talk to you? Did you do something wrong over there or what?" Bob asked me and I frowned while snatching the phone from his hands._

" _No, I did not," I snapped at him while taking the cordless phone and walking away with it. "Hello?" I asked into the receiver, Stella quick to answer with a smile in her voice._

" _Helga!" She said, "It's so good to hear from you. We've missed you these passed few days."_

 _I smiled sadly and nodded my head while looking down at my feet as I approached the back of the beeper store. "Yeah, I've missed you guys too."_

" _So why haven't you been over, then?" She asked and I frowned knowing now that Arnold hadn't mentioned a thing to them about my little experience the other day._

 _Figures._

 _I scrambled to find an answer before blurting out the real reason why I hadn't been over. "Arnold hasn't invited me," I said before shaking my head and slamming my face into the palm of my hand._

" _He hasn't?" She sounded surprised by this. "That's odd, he said he had but you rejected his offer."_

 _Lying, huh? Well THAT'S a new one for Hair Boy... Oh criminy! That means I just ratted him out to his parents!_

 _I cleared my throat trying to salvage my response. "I mean," I tried, "he uh, he DID ask me but I uh... I have some uh... some-"_

" _It's alright, Helga." Stella cut me off mid-sentence. "I kind of figured that he hadn't asked you. You usually jump at the opportunity to come over. So I figured I'd call and see what's going on, if you know that is."_

" _Ahh, I see," I said while crossing an arm over my chest. "Going behind your son's back are we?" I asked with a smile and she chuckled over the phone._

" _Sort of. But mostly to invite you over to dinner tonight." She surprisingly stated and I raised my brow at her invitation._

" _Dinner? But Arnold hasn't been talking to me... Wouldn't it be weird if I just showed up?" I asked and Stella sighed._

" _Not at all. Because you'll be_ our _guest, not his." She said and I smirked._

" _Found the loophole, didn't ya?"_

" _So can I count on you to be here?" She asked and I looked to Bob and Miriam before turning around and sighing while nodding my head._

" _Sure. I'll come by and give the football-head a good scare. Maybe he'll actually talk to me again."_

" _That's the plan," Stella said with a grin in her voice and I couldn't help but smile._

 _Stella is on my side. His PARENTS are on MY side. OUR side. Now I just had to figure out a way to talk to Arnold after dinner was over._

 _Criminy... what am I in for?_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

 _I got to write this all down before I forget it. Because if I don't, if I forget it, I'm afraid that I'll hate myself forever._

 _So we had dinner, an awkward tension-filled dinner where Arnold spent the majority of the time staring at me rather than eating. After we finished, his parents urged us to go up to his room where we spent at least ten minutes sitting in silence before I decided to be bold and break the silence that was filling up the room._

" _Arnold," I said, "it's time for ME to say those words."_

 _He glanced up at me without making eye contact and mumbled, "What words?"_

 _I sighed, "We need to talk."_

" _Oh," he breathed out and I patted the spot next to me on the couch as he pushed himself up off of his bed to come and sit beside me where I sat._

" _What's UP with you?" I asked before shaking my hands signaling for him not to answer, "No wait, that's not my question, what's up with US?"_

" _Us?" He repeated and I frowned._

" _Did I STUTTER?" I snapped at him and I sighed before looking down at my lap. "Sorry, I'm just really stressed because you've kind of hollowed me out lately."_

" _Yeah," he said quietly, "I guess I kind of have been, haven't I? I really didn't mean to," he stated quietly._

" _Then why HAVE you been? It isn't because of... the... you know..." I managed, unable to speak the truth about the reasoning I suspected him of as to why he hadn't been speaking to me but he shook his head vehemently._

" _No, no, no, Helga, no," he quickly said, "that's not the reason why I mean, it's_ kind of _the reason why but not for the reasons that you think."_

 _I raised a brow at him, a frown soon taking over my expression. "Than what could possibly be your reasons, huh? Because right now it just seems like you're on team bloody Mary."_

" _I'm not," he insisted before reaching out and taking one of my hands, the first of his touch that I'd had in days. "The reason sounds stupid, I'm sure, but honestly, it's because I just... I just didn't know what to do or how to react. I didn't know how to help you and I thought... well I thought that Phoebe would be better help to you than I ever could. At least in this situation."_

" _But you're my BOYFRIEND," I blurted out before stopping completely, realizing we'd never officially labeled ourselves in front of each other before and sat silently before each other before Arnold finally spoke up._

" _You're right," he said, "I am," he confirmed at long last, "and it wasn't right of me to just abandon you when you went through all of that or to not stand up to all the guys when they were... chanting that about you."_

" _Yeah..." I trailed off while playing with a strand of hair though Arnold was quick to stop me by tucking the strand behind my ear._

" _I'm sorry, Helga," he apologized, his tone honest and sincere._

 _I shrugged my shoulders, looking down at my hands and sighing. "It's fine."_

" _But it isn't. I shouldn't have just ignored you. Even Gerald told me I should have manned up."_

 _I turned to look at him with a raised brow. "He did? Tall Hair Boy said that?"_

 _Arnold nodded his head a small smile on his lips. "Yeah, he did. He was surprised I didn't stand up for you. Heck, even_ I _was surprised I didn't but the whole thing happened so fast and I didn't know what to say or do and-"_

 _I held a lone hand up and shook my head. "Arnold, it's fine, really. You don't have to explain. I guess. Well.. if the situation had been reversed, I might not have known what to do either."_

 _Arnold looked over to me with sad eyes. "Really?"_

 _I shrugged my shoulders and let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, what could you do? The whole dang class was practically chanting Bloody Mary."_

 _Arnold cringed at the words as they left my mouth but I hardly reacted and instead sighed while changing the subject slightly. "So how was your crazy class? Did Mr. Simmons go easy on ya?"_

 _He chuckled while shaking his head. "Hardly. He just kept saying how 'special of a process puberty is' and how the 'changes your bodies are going through are something to be celebrated, not ashamed of.'"_

 _I rolled my eyes while leaning back to rest on the back of the couch. "Criminy, the guy is still a sap," I said and Arnold laughed while relaxing slightly as well._

" _I mean, it wasn't that bad honestly," he admitted, "the worst part was Stinky, Harold and Sid who kept making comments the whole time and asking stupid questions."_

 _I smirked, "What buffoons,"_

 _Arnold nodded his head, but waited a beat before speaking again. "I guess it's just their way of dealing with the awkward topic. I'm sure they feel just as weird about everything as we do."_

" _You feel awkward about all of this?" I asked and Arnold looked at me with wide eyes._

" _Are you kidding?" He replied, "Of_ course _I feel awkward. More so than everyone else even because they've all had at least SOME kind of conversation with their parents about this kind of stuff." He sighed. "Me? I've only just met my parents. We've hardly had time to get to know each other more or less have these kinds of conversations."_

" _And your grandparents?" I asked and he shook his head._

" _I mean, we've had THE talk, which was horrible might I add, and some stuff about what I'd go through, but not really all that much about what happens with...with... with you guys." he said with a nod of his head toward me and I nodded my head thoughtfully while turning away from him._

" _I guess nobody wants to have to go through all this puberty mumbo jumbo," I said. "I bet even our own parents had a hard time with it when they were growing up."_

" _Oh I don't doubt that. It seems like an awkward topic no matter how old you are. Was Mrs. Alibaster nice about it with you guys?" He asked and I smirked while folding my arms over my chest._

" _Sure she was NICE about it, but MAN was she WEIRD about it," I explained._

" _How so?" Arnold asked then and I leaned forward on the couch to explain further._

" _Well FIRST of all, she kept coughing into her handkerchief the whole time like she does in the library, you know? And it was always at the weirdest moments in conversation, like, halfway through a sentence or whatever. But I guess that isn't as weird as the fact that during the video, she stood in the corner and watched along fondly like she was remembering puberty like it had been some creepy vacation she'd been on or something." I shook my head with a laugh. "It was just weird, I can't think of another word to describe it."_

" _That's...odd," Arnold said and I nodded my head before adding another thing._

" _Oh! Oh!" I laughed, remembering the memory before recalling it to him, "I almost forgot, when we were doing the slide diagrams, and she was on the male one, she walked right in front of it and stood right where all the male parts were supposed to be and they reflected on her and the whole thing was actually hilarious," I said while laughing again. "It sounds kinda lame but the tension was insane in that room and even the smallest of things brightened up the day."_

 _Arnold smirked, "I can only imagine Mr. Simmons doing that with the female diagrams," he said and I pictured it myself before mimicking him._

" _'Oh, oh dear,' he'd say and then struggle with the projector which would only zoom in on the whole thing as everyone would probably laugh, gosh, the guy is SUCH a granola boy." I said and Arnold shook his head._

" _Helga, you're terrible." He said mid-laugh and I stuck my chin up proudly._

" _I sure try, football-head."_

 _Arnold took a deep breath while reaching for my hand and lacing his fingers with mine suddenly. "Helga," he said, "I'm glad that we were able to talk this out after everything that happened. I really value our relationship and don't want something silly or childish to threaten it ever again."_

 _At a loss for words from his sudden seriousness, I simply nodded my head and stuttered out an agreement. "M-me eit-either."_

" _I promise I'll always talk things out with you. No more of my avoiding topics I'm afraid of. Only if you promise to do the same."_

 _That was one thing I was all too happy to comply with._

 _I smiled in his direction and nodded my head while squeezing his hand. "Promise, Hair Boy."_

 _So needless to say, Arnold and I are back on track and life is good like it should be. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us as we continue on our backwards journey through adolescence. Even though it may feel weird at times and as awkward as that bogus class we had to go through, but it will all be worth it in the end._

 _I can feel it._

 _Because things with Arnold just feel RIGHT, you know? They feel like they should be and they feel like the world is spinning the way it is supposed to be spinning and with me and Arnold at the very tip top like the axis. Like the world is moving just for us._

 _I've never been happier, journal. I just hope this feeling lasts forever._

 _On Cloud 9, no, Cloud 10,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

 ** _Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! can't wait to post the next one! As reward for getting through the last two chapters, i'll even give you a sneak hint- it might involve a date between arnold and helga!_**

 ** _Please be sure to leave a REVIEW and let me know what you think!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	15. Entry 8

_Hello my glorious, fine, splendid journal!_

 _Arnold has asked me on a date! Like an official date!_

 _Oh, be still my fast-beating heart, how it throbs for your presence even though we are officially an item and I see you all the time so it isn't like it's a huge deal anymore but OH, how it IS! How I long for another night by your side with just the comfort of your warm embrace and even warmer heart. How I yearn for that moment when our eyes will meet from across the table amid the candlelight and the world stands still around us for the briefest of moments... a perfect second shared between the two of us that I can't wait to experience for real like the real young adults that we are becoming._

 _This date is gonna be BOMB._

 _Arnold said to meet him at the boarding house and we'll walk to Garden DeLucci- the new Italian restaurant that just opened up in town -around seven on Saturday and we'll have dinner like real couples do, just the two of us. No double dates, no chaperons, nobody hanging around us to poke and prod at us as we go about our business. Just the two of us and a romantic atmosphere to surround us as we fine dine and discuss even the most trivial of things about our day. Sure, it might sound boring, but I couldn't look more forward to it. I've wanted to go on a real date with Arnold ever since I can remember and a romantic night out with him at Garden DeLucci seems to fit the bill. I just hope it's going to be everything I could expect and more._

 _I can just picture it now..._

 _There I am, wearing a pink dress from Olga's stash of clothes that my parents have never thrown away and have boxed instead. It fits me perfectly and hugs to my body in all the right places. I look like a princess, like a jewel from the bottom of the sea, like an angel sent down to earth._

 _Arnold is wearing a suit, and he looks dashing. He looks so professional but classy and elegant as though he were a rich man ready to close a business deal and save all of humanity while doing it. He looks handsome as my Prince Charming would and I can't take my eyes off of him._

 _And neither can he take his eyes off of me._

 _He sees me, his eyes locked on myself as I blush slightly and look away in modesty while pulling out the fan I've brought with to fan at my face to hide the reddening cheeks of my countenance. He then approaches me, an arm reaching out to offer himself to me, an offer for me to take his arm as we walk to Garden DeLucci as we've no car to get there which is fine by me- I've worn flats for this very occasion._

 _Also because Arnold is still shorter than me despite his growing growth spurt. He'll get there, but for now, I'll accommodate._

 _Anyway, so we get to the restaurant which is dimly lit by that of candles on every table and candles everywhere the eye can see. "Dinner for two?" The hostess asks us and we share a look of adoration towards each other before turning towards the woman and nodding our heads as she gestures for us to follow her through the ornately decorated and adult-oriented restaurant but we don't care- we're in love and that's all that matters in this restaurant. Couples surround us as they hold hands across the small tables and speak sweet nothings to each other before their food arrives. It's exactly the kind of place we wish to be in. The perfect place for our first official date._

 _We sit at our table, Arnold pulling the chair out for me in true gentlemanly fashion, and I take my seat as he takes his just ahead of me. We sit facing each other, our eyes deep into the others, his a sea of green that I'm lost in and wish never to be found again. Him, floating in the pools of blue that are my irises, a sense of coolness surrounding him at the sight. We stare at each other for a long while, soaking in our love for one another before the waiter comes to our table and asks us what we'd like to drink._

 _Arnold asks for a tea, his favorite drink at restaurants as they usually infuse it with raspberries. Me? A cool glass of water to go with whatever pasta I'm sure to have. The waiter leaves us alone again to look at our menus but we can't stop looking at each other, Arnold reaching out for my hand from across the way._

" _Helga, my pet," he says while stroking my hand with his thumb, "How I've longed for a moment like this with you."_

 _I smile, my heart leaping in my chest as I nod my head and then move to rest my chin on the back of my free hand and stare over at him. "I know. I as well have longed for this, yearned for this very moment. A moment alone with the love of my life."_

" _And who might that be, my angel?" He asks and I roll my eyes while looking back at him._

" _You, doi," I say and he chuckled while squeezing my hand._

" _I know, I know, I just wanted to hear you say it again," he says and I swoon at his words as the waiter appears again to ask us what we'll have._

 _I order lasagna. He orders spaghetti. Traditional, but sure to be good in this fancy of a restaurant._

 _When our meal comes, we dine finely with poise and composure in the most distinguished of ways. Arnold smiles over at me midway through the meal and I glance up from my lasagna with a strange look on my face._

" _What?" I ask._

" _Would you like to try some?" He asks and I nod my head with a grin as he takes a lone noodle into his mouth and then offers the same noodle to me, lady and the tramp style._

 _I lean over the table and take the noodle into my mouth as we begin to suck in inward as our mouths become closer and closer until our lips finally touch and we share a longing kiss._

 _We pull away then, chuckling to ourselves at the moment we just shared. "Sorry, I just wanted to try that once," Arnold said and I shrugged my shoulders, glad that we'd tried it as it ended up being a sweet moment between the two of us._

" _I liked it," I stated._

 _We finish our meal and the waiter asks if we want dessert which of course we say yes to. We order the chocolate-est of cakes and get two spoons with it to share, though Arnold insists on feeding me with a smile on his face._

" _My love, let me feed you," he says and I raise my brow._

" _Feed me?" I ask and he nods his head._

" _So that I might pass this cake through those gorgeous lips of yours," he says and I blush at his words while nodding my head allowing him to surpass the first bite of cake passed my lips._

" _Mmm," I hum at the taste of the chocolate delight that enters my mouth and Arnold soon takes a bite himself to taste it's glorious chocolate infused goodness._

" _This is some good cake," he compliments and I nod my head in agreement._

" _You're telling me," I said but he sets his fork down and looks deep into my eyes._

" _But nothing is as good as being here with you tonight, my sunshine, my light, the twinkle of my eye." He says and I place a hand over my heart._

" _Oh Arnold..."_

 _We finish our date and Arnold picks up the check like a true gentleman. He then helps me into my coat and takes my hand as we exit the establishment; headed back to the boarding house to wind down from our most romantic of first dates that any 11 and 12 year old have ever had in their life._

 _Once we reach Sunset Arms, we stand out on the stoop as a fresh set of fluffy snow begins to fall from the sky and I look up as a few snowflakes fall to set on top of my lashes as Arnold reaches out to brush them off of me._

" _I love the snow," I say and Arnold's eyes remain on me as he speaks his next words, words he's never said before until now._

" _I love you."_

" _Y-you do?" I stutter out as he nods his head._

" _You're perfect, Helga G. Pataki. My perfect match- my soul mate. I'm so happy to be with you. Come here," and with that, he pulls me in to share a passionate kiss with me, one full of love and care like I've always dreamed._

… _...And THAT'S how our date will go. I just know it. The prize of fine dining mixed with romance and ambiance all together under one roof only to end under the beauty of the night sky._

 _I can't WAIT until Saturday._

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _I told Phoebe about my upcoming date with Arnold, and she seemed more concerned than excited for me which was honestly a little disappointing._

 _I sat on her bed while she sat on the floor, papers for various homework assignments spread out among her like the petals of a flower where she was the center. She held in her hand a pencil that she kept tapping her lip with while in deep thought, though I was quick to bring her out of it._

" _So Arnold asked me out," I said with a wiggle of my brow. "On a date."_

 _She glanced up at me from her work. "Oh?" She asked slightly surprised. "That took him quite a while to reach such a decision as to ask you on one."_

" _Cripes, I know, right?" I stated with a small laugh while leaning back on her bed onto the heels of my hands. "I mean we've hung out plenty of times, but this is gonna be our first real DATE."_

" _And are you sure you are prepared for such a date?" Phoebe asked suddenly and I raised my brow at her odd question._

" _Well DOI I'm ready, what kind of question is THAT?" I demanded and Phoebe merely shrugged her shoulders while returning her attention downward at her papers._

" _Please don't take my concern for animosity, Helga, I simply want to make sure you are braced for that of your very first date. It will be one that marks an important first in your life." She said with empathy and I nodded my head while narrowing my eyes in her direction._

" _I know," I said rather rudely, "that's why I'm EXCITED like you should be for me."_

" _I'm sorry, Helga. It isn't that I'm not excited for you. First dates are something to be celebrated, indeed." Phoebe said with a fond smile, probably remembering that of HER first date which she went on ages ago back in the summer shortly after we returned from San Lorenzo._

 _But Arnold clearly wanted to take things slow. We spent most of the summer just hanging out and getting used to the idea of transferring from bully to victim to boyfriend and girlfriend. It was a lot to take in and dates were sort of the last thing on our minds. Well, his, I suppose. I of course had been thinking about it the whole time._

 _But I wasn't some jerk. I respected his wishes and knew it wasn't my place to ask him out on a date if he wasn't ready yet to go on one. And besides, I kind of wanted HIM to be the one to ask ME because we both knew that_ I _was ready to go on a date with him, but the matter of him was always up in the air. Waiting for him to make that first move proved to make the moment even THAT more special._

 _I just wished Phoebe saw it that way and saw how important this moment truly was for me._

" _So when is your big date, Helga?" Phoebe asked then, pulling me from my thoughts and I turned to face her and answered her question._

" _Tomorrow, Saturday at 7. We're going to that new Garden DeLucci place on Elm." I said with a smile though Phoebe just nodded her head._

" _A family restaurant. That's... different. I would have suspected you two would have chosen something more romantic like Chez Pierre or Chez Paris."_

 _My eyes widened at her statement as I took in her words. "FAMILY restaurant? Like... kids and teens and... and FAMILIES? No candles and romance up the butt?" I asked and Phoebe shrugged her shoulders._

" _Honestly I'm not exactly sure. I haven't had the opportunity to go to Garden DeLucci as of yet." She said and I let my arms buckle so I could fall back onto the bed and lay down while my head began to spin._

" _We just wanted to try someplace different," I mumbled while pulling one of her pillows to lay on my face and continued speaking into it. "The name sounded like a true Italian restaurant."_

" _I'm not sure what you said, Helga." Phoebe stated and I pulled the pillow away from my face and leaned upward._

" _What?"_

" _Could you repeat that? The pillow was blocking your words from projecting to my ears."_

 _I frowned and projected to her loud and clear. "I THOUGHT that it would be a nice ITALIAN RESTAURANT." I sighed and rolled over to lay on my stomach, my hands moving up to rest under my chin as I lay. "Italians are supposed to be really romantic with their love of wine and all that stuff, aren't they? I thought it'd be a good fit...And something DIFFERENT than Chez Paris for once in a blue moon."_

 _Phoebe nodded her head, taking this in before responding. "It still might be, you have yet to experience the place so if I were you, I'd go forth with the date and give it a chance. After all, it isn't about_ where _you eat, it's about_ whom _you're eating with."_

 _She had a point. It wasn't about all that atmosphere and ambiance and music and candlelight and fancy waiters who only spoke the language of their restaurant and all that... it was about being with Arnold and only Arnold. I had to focus on that and not the fact that we'd be eating at some a-typical restaurant that probably served less-than-original cuisine while children screamed bloody murder all around us. At the very least, they might have some pretty cheap deals._

 _Either way, I was just lucky to be finally going on my date with Arnold and I had to look at it like that or I'd just be disappointed. Maybe the date WASN'T going to turn out like I'd written before with everything going exactly as planned and perfect to the nine the way I'd imagined, but it would be perfect for US and that was what was important. Like Phoebe said, this was my first date and an important first in my life. I had to take that at face value and know it wouldn't be perfect but it would be memorable because for the rest of my life there would never be anything like it- this was the first._

 _And I was with my first love. It would be an evening of firsts._

 _What could be more perfect than that?_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So I just got back from my date with Arnold._

 _And before I go ruining anything with my sarcasm or impeccable wit, I'll just start at the beginning and work my way through the date so you can get a gist of it and judge it for yourself._

 _But needless to say, my heart is so full I can hardly take it._

 _The night started with me digging through Olga's box of dresses trying to find the pink dress I had imagined wearing on my perfect date night- one that she wore in middle school when I was just a tot. Once I found it and put it on, I realized that the chest part was too big for me and I frowned as I knew that I couldn't wear it. It was too big!_

 _Darn Olga and her stupid body and MY stupid body and stupid puberty altogether._

 _So instead I put on the nice sweater Rhonda had given me and a red skirt from a while back with a nice pair of shoes, only to look over myself and sigh. "This is NOT what I pictured," I muttered to myself before glancing at the nearby clock and realizing I was late to make my way to Sunset Arms._

" _Ahh, Criminy! I'm late!" I told myself before grabbing one of Olga's old purses that I'd thrown a few random things inside, reached for my coat, and headed out of the emporium to make my way to the boarding house, just making it there by 7:05._

" _Why hello there, Helga," Miles answered the door and let me inside from the cold air of the outside world. "Come on in, Arnold is just finishing getting ready."_

 _Oh good, I thought, at least he wasn't WAITING for me._

 _Arnold finally came down from his room wearing khaki pants and a nice shirt with a tie; rubbing the back of his neck as he saw me and my raise of brow at his attire. "I kind of out-grew my suit," Arnold explained and I shrugged my shoulders realizing puberty had screwed him over too._

" _It's fine. The dress I was gonna wear didn't fit either," I said and we both chuckled at our lack of luck in the dressing department._

" _Are you sure you kids don't want us to give you guys a ride down to Garden DeLucci? It's really no trouble at all..." Miles offered but Arnold and I shook our heads as Arnold gave his reasoning why._

" _No, it's just down the street really," he said, "so it isn't that long of a walk."_

" _Well, if you say so, son," Miles said with a smile while opening the door for us as Arnold put on his coat. "Have fun you two. We'll see you guys soon."_

 _So off we went to Garden DeLucci, the wind blowing my hair all about my face and mixing with the only makeup I'd decided to put on- lip gloss. Soon my hair was covered in the goop and it was spread all across my face and I was more than uncomfortable._

 _By the time we made it to the restaurant, my hair looked like a rat's nest and I had pink gloss all over my facial features, so I rushed to the bathroom as Arnold found us a table._

" _I can't BELIEVE this is happening..." I told my reflection as I used a wet paper towel to wipe off the gloss from the various places on my face. "Just calm down, Helga. The date hasn't even really STARTED yet so you have time to save this," I continued talking as I smoothed out my hair as it cascaded down my shoulders out of their usual pigtails for once in their life. With a deep breath, I nodded to myself before turning around and heading out of the bathroom to find the table Arnold was sitting at towards the back of the restaurant; him already looking at the menu and scratching his head._

" _See anything good?" I asked as I sat down in the booth and scooted inside._

" _I was looking at the gnocci," he said, pronouncing it oddly correctly and I frowned, wanting him to order the spaghetti._

 _Over the roar of children screaming and the talking of those around the restaurant, I hollered without much dignity,"How about the spaghetti?" I suggested, " I'm sure it's real good coming out of an Italian place."_

" _Eh," Arnold said while still looking at the menu, "I'm feeling adventurous tonight." He grinned but I wasn't feeling his feeling._

 _I wanted SOME part of my stupid imaginary date to come true, and that was the spaghetti, lady and the tramp style. Couldn't I at least have that?_

 _But apparently not, as Arnold ordered the g-no-ck-ee thing and I scrambled to order what I wanted versus what I wanted my perfect date to order._

" _And you miss?" The waiter prompted and I thought long and hard before finally ordering._

" _Spaghetti. I'll have the spaghetti, please."_

 _So it was settled._ I'd _have to take the initiative in making this date extra special because we were in a family oriented restaurant wearing church clothes surrounded by screaming children and their disoriented parents and not even a candle in sight. I HAD to have my moment. I had to have SOMETHING._

 _When dinner finally came, I chose to eat a few bites before finally making my move and offering Arnold some of my spaghetti._

" _You wanna bite?" I asked and he shook his head while taking a bite of his own food._

" _I think I'll pass." He said and I frowned while spinning a lone noodle around my fork and handing it to him._

" _Let me rephrase that, you_ want _a bite." I ordered, though Arnold merely chuckled and shook his head again._

" _No Helga, I'm really fine with my own food, but thanks anyway." He politely refused but I wasn't having it. Not this time._

 _Mustering some courage, I unrolled the noodle from my fork and offered him one side of it as I stuck the other end in my mouth. "See what I'm doing here?" I managed while holding the noodle in between my lips and Arnold raised a brow._

" _You really want me to do that? Here?"_

 _I narrowed my eyes and he knew to take me seriously. "Well, alright then," he muttered, taking the other end of the noodle into his own mouth and I sighed in content knowing what we were about to do._

 _We were about to Lady and the Tramp our spaghetti, just like in my fantasy._

 _We slurped away at the noodle, our faces inching closer to one another's though my gaze was more lustful than Arnold's, and once our lips were about to meet, I knew this was going to be the takeaway moment from our date tonight._

 _If only Arnold's stupid nose hadn't gotten in the way._

 _With a big SMASH our noses slammed together and we pulled away instantly while rubbing our noses hastily from the altercation they'd just been though with each other. "Criminy! That should have worked!" I exclaimed and Arnold sighed while continuing to rub his nose._

" _You know, if you wanted me to kiss you, you could have just asked," he said plainly and I frowned while dropping my hand from my nose._

" _I wanted it to be ROMANTIC, not just some simple kiss."_

" _I think every kiss is romantic," Arnold said simply and I froze, realizing he was right._

 _This date didn't have to have candles and fancy clothes and ambiance to be special or romantic. All it had to have was the two of us together to be special and important and the best first date we could have, I was just focusing on all the wrong things._

 _With my new change of attitude, the rest of our night went perfectly. We talked about school, laughed at how ridiculous my vision of our date had been and held hands as we shared our chocolate dessert, though he didn't feed me, criminy, that'd be weird._

 _As we went back to the boarding house, a soft blanket of snow began to fall from the sky and I chuckled as I held my hands out to catch some of the stray flakes as they fell down to earth. "I love the snow," I mused as Arnold nodded his head._

" _I do too. That and the rain." He noted and I grinned looking towards him._

" _You really are something else, football-head," I said and he raised his brow in confusion at my comment._

" _How so?"_

" _You just...are." I finalized before looking back up to the sky as the fluffy flakes continued to dance downward upon us. "It's funny, that THIS would be the part of my fantasy that would come true."_

" _Oh really?" Arnold asked as we stood just outside his front door. "The snow?"_

" _Yeah," I said, my eyes still focused up on the sky._

" _What else did you predict?" He wondered and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _Just that you'd say some romantic stuff to me and you'd pull me in for an embrace and it would perfectly end the night. Pretty ridiculous, huh?" I said with a laugh, though Arnold wasn't laughing. I turned to face him from the sky and saw that he was staring at me, his eyes baring through my soul and I swallowed hard as he played with his hands for a moment before he began to speak._

" _I had a really nice time tonight," he finally managed to say, "you're so funny and smart and fun to be around and altogether one of the greatest girlfriends a guy could ask for."_

 _I stood aback, completely shocked by his words. "I-I am?"_

 _Arnold nodded his head, fully committed to what he was saying. "You are. And honestly, even though your expectations for tonight were pretty high, I hope that you realized that being together is what makes a night special, not the place we go to."_

 _I smiled a warm smile at him and nodded my head. "I did. I did realize that."_

" _Good. Because that's what I want you to take away from this date for our next one."_

" _Our next one?" I questioned and he nodded his head._

" _I figured Saturday could be our date night. We could do things on Saturday that will be just the two of us. What do you say?"_

 _I grinned at his idea and nodded quickly. "Yes! Yes, Arnold, I'd love that."_

" _Good," he said while reaching for my hands and pulling me close to him. "i would too. You know what else I'd like?" He asked and I found my breathing picking up the closer I got to him._

" _Wh-what's that?"_

" _To kiss you," he murmured but before I could come out with a response, his lips were on mine and we shared in a long kiss just under the stars and the snow as it flaked down upon us under the vast moonlight._

 _Oh journal, it was wonderful. A positively perfect first date, even despite all the craziness that I allowed myself to believe in before._

 _How could I think anything but? Being with Arnold is...magical. He makes all my problems go away and without him around, I'd surely go crazy._

 _I already can't wait for_ next _Saturday!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _So what did you all think of Helga's first date? memorable? perfect in it's own way? Let me know in a REVIEW of what you thought of this chapter! Can't wait to see you at the next one!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	16. Entry 9

_Well journal, winter is long gone and spring is fast approaching and we all know what that means..._

 _SOON I'LL BE 12!_

 _Which also means..._

 _SOON I'LL BE 13!_

 _I'm right on the cusp of being a teenager that I can almost taste it. I just can't wait to let that angst fill me up and let it rage out against my parents. They deserve it after all these years. Maybe that sounds bad but at this point, I kind of don't care?_

 _In other news, I can't wait to see what Arnold has planned up his sleeve for my first birthday together after the awesome present I got him for his. I hope it's something meaningful like the locket he gave me for Christmas this last year. Honestly, I don't know HOW he'll top that. But I have high hopes for him. He's a smart kid and he knows me pretty well now. He'll think of SOMETHING great, I'm just sure of it. But no matter what it is, I'm just excited to spend the day with him- that would be the greatest gift of all. Being with Arnold, BEING with him being with him, is the best gift I could have ever been given on any occasion. Birthday or no birthday, I'm just happy to call him my boyfriend._

 _That's right folks, I have a boyfriend on my birthday. Helga G. Pataki has a BOYFRIEND on her birthday._

 _What could be a better gift than that?_

 _Here's to being a pre-teen!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So Arnold's been acting really weird this week. Granted, it's the week of my birthday so I'm sure he's just really excited to give me my present and all, but that's no reason to break off our time together or to make us hang out in the living room rather than his room._

 _My present can't be THAT big._

 _Then again, this IS Arnold we're talking about. For all I know, he could be throwing me a surprise party._

 _Oh God... I hope he isn't throwing me a surprise party. I hate surprises like that._

 _Anyway, it got REAL weird yesterday after school when Arnold forgot to come to my locker to walk me home after school like he usually did on days we didn't go to his place. I rushed to grab my stuff and catch up to him and Gerald- Phoebe was still at school tutoring for her after-school program thingy –and tapped Arnold on the shoulder and he turned around._

" _Helga?"_

" _Yeah, it's me, DOI," I said with heavy acidity in my tone. "You left me hanging, what gives?"_

 _Arnold searched for an answer while Gerald picked one for him. "Arnold and I are working on something together. Real guy stuff. You wouldn't be interested."_

 _I frowned and folded my arms over my chest. "Oh really? You mean to say this has NOTHING to do with my birthday on Wednesday, huh?"_

 _Gerald and Arnold shared a look before replying in unison, "No, nothing."_

 _I smirked while shaking my head knowing better than the two of them thought and held my arms up in the air in surrender. "Alright, Hair Boy, Geraldo, I'll give. I'll just walk MYSELF home. No biggie. You go do your 'guy stuff.'" I said while using quotations and they nodded their heads while taking off in the opposite direction than me and I chuckled to myself as I headed home._

 _I knew what they were up to. CLEARLY they were up to finding ME the perfect birthday present, and Arnold was in need of Gerald's help. I'm not STUPID or anything. So I let them be. I let them do their precious 'guy stuff' and didn't bother to call Arnold that night or show up at the boarding house as much as I wanted to._

 _But today I wasn't giving in. And oddly enough, Arnold didn't make me; he invited me over right away in the morning before school started and I was excited to come over and hang out with Arnold and see Miles and Stella once again. Maybe THEY'D let the cat out of the bag about whatever Arnold was up to._

 _And if it was ANYONE who would spill the beans, I had a feeling it would be Miles._

 _I sat down next to Miles on the couch where he was watching the news and shaking his head while Arnold was doing god only knows what in his room avoiding me._

" _What's up?" I asked and Miles just continued to minimally shake his head while staring at the television._

" _What is this world_ coming _to? Another shooting?" He said and I turned to look at the TV as news scrolled the headlines before he reached for the remote and shut the set off altogether. "That's it," he stated, "I am over this heartbreaking development." He turned to me with sad eyes and offered a small smile. "_ Please _tell me you have some good news for me?"_

 _I tried to think of anything that would cheer him up from the devastation he had just finished watching and settled on, "Well, I got an A on my writing assignment in English...?" I offered and his smile grew while he reached out to pat me on the shoulder._

" _That's great, Helga! But no surprise there. You're practically a writing master at this point. When will I see a book with your name on it in the bookstores' windows?"_

 _I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders, "Probably when I start WRITING one."_

" _Well you should get on that, shouldn't you? I'm sure you'd make one heck of an author," Miles complimented me and I turned away to hide my blush at his praise._

" _I don't know," I said thoughtfully, "I've tried to write stories before but they usually just end up nowhere. That's why I stick to poems. I'm too... Shakespearean."_

" _There's nothing wrong with that," Miles encouraged, "Use it to your advantage."_

 _I raised a brow at him, "And just HOW am I supposed to do THAT?"_

 _He shrugged his shoulders while crossing his legs. "I don't know._ You're _the writer._ You _figure that part out."_

 _I nodded my head once before silence fell over us and I suddenly remembered what my purpose was in sitting next to Miles in the first place: figuring out what it was Arnold was up to when it came to my birthday and making sure it wasn't some surprise party._

 _I adjusted in my seat and cleared my throat before finally breaking the silence. "So uh... that kid of yours..." I started and Miles turned to look at me with a confused expression._

" _Arnold? What about him?" He asked and I chewed on my lip before going on._

" _My birthday is coming up. Tomorrow actually." I said and Miles nodded his head._

" _We're aware," he said with a smile and I nodded my head slowly, taking in his words before going on with my own._

" _Well I kinda thought maybe you might have some inkling as to what it is that Arnold has up his sleeve for my big day," I hinted rather boldly and Miles raised his brow before laughing and shaking his head._

" _Even if we did, Stella and I, you really think I'd blow the surprise?" He asked and I pounded my fist on my leg in frustration._

" _Oh c'mon, Miles! You can't even give me a hint!?" I asked loudly and he continued to laugh while shaking his head._

" _Not even a hint? A clue? An indication? Nothing?" I pried but Miles kept his lips sealed and motioned so by doing a zip of his lips and crossed his arms tightly over his chest._

" _You aren't getting anything out of me, Helga G. Pataki." He insisted as Arnold came bustling down the steps from his bedroom to meet us in the living room._

" _Okay, I'm all ready for dinner. What are you guys talking about?" He asked anxiously and I sighed knowing my opportunity was over._

 _What could that stupid football-head be planning? It couldn't be anything huge because if it WAS it would have to be a whole operation and his parents would surely be in on it, so I figure it's safe to say that it isn't some big surprise party. Which is good, cause I'd throw a fit. Maybe my opinions on surprise parties would change as I get older, but for now, I just hate them. The whole idea of giving someone a heart attack all for fun just doesn't sound entertaining to me. Even if it DOES involve cake and loads of presents._

 _Presents._

 _Could Arnold be up to some elaborate gift or something? Maybe THAT'S what he's hiding. Maybe he's working on some big gift for me or something and he's trying to make it perfect... that could be it._

 _I don't know. Whatever it is, I'm not expecting much and that's not because I don't expect much from ARNOLD, it's because my birthday has never really been celebrated so I don't get much ANYway, sometimes not even a cake or the typical song of 'happy birthday' that most people get on their birthdays._

 _Yeah, yeah. It's sad. I live a sad life, blah blah blah. It's just the normal for me, I guess. Whatever Arnold is planning for me, it will be great, even if it's just a cupcake and a candle. Something is better than nothing. I just hope he knows that._

 _Totally ready for tomorrow,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

Helga rose from her sleeping bag on the floor and immediately was intercepted by her mother who surprisingly was sober from her smoothies and hugged her tightly to her chest. "Happy birthday, Helga!" She exclaimed as Bob rolled over in his chair and grunted.

"Uh... Thanks?" Helga said in a confused tone after her mother let her go.

"12 years ago, I gave birth to you, honey. It was one of the greatest days of my life," Miriam told her while stroking her hair and Helga sighed while looking away from her mother.

"Somehow, I doubt that." She muttered, though her mother didn't hear her.

"You have a great day at school today, okay, honey?" Her mom advised her and Helga nodded her head while slowly backing away and then ran to her spot in the back of the beeper emporium where she liked to write and where she kept her things including her clothes and most importantly, her journal.

In one fowl swoop, she reached for her pen and journal and quickly opened it up to the fresh page and began writing as quickly as she could.

 _Wow, I just had one heck of a surprise from Miriam._

 _So since she's been free of smoothies after her get-together with Stella, she's been acting very mom-ish and being fairly responsible when it comes to me and my life. She's taken notice to my school-work, made me lunch on most days, and seen me off to school most every day of the week. Sometimes she goes off the wagon and has a smoothie or two, but for the most part, she's been pretty good and hasn't had them as often as she used to._

 _Anyway, that's not the point. Point is, this morning, I wake up, and she's all, "Good morning, Helga! Happy Birthday!" and I wasn't even hardly AWAKE yet so I was kind of shell-shocked and had no idea what was going on. I swear if I come home today and she's baked a cake with my name on it, I'll definitely have realized I've woken up in the twilight zone and demand a refund of my ticket._

 _So now that THAT'S out of the way... HAPPY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY TO ME! I'm a whole 12 years old now. Who knew that March 25th could be so great? For most kids, it's just a simple Wednesday, but for me, it's the greatest day of the entire year. I just can't wait to see Arnold and get whatever he's been planning out of the way so life can resume it's normalcy. It's been so odd to have Arnold be so weird around me and hiding things from me and I'll be honest when I say that I don't like it one bit. I'm used to him being so up front with me about everything that it doesn't quite compute with me when he acts like this. It just kinda freaks me out. Which is normal I guess. If your boyfriend or girlfriend starts hiding things from you all of a sudden, you're bound to end up questioning everything and wonder what you've done wrong, even though I KNOW I've done nothing wrong, until they come out with whatever it is they've been planning behind your back the whole time._

 _I just hope I don't have to wait TOO long for whatever it is Arnold has planned. Otherwise I'll just spend all day going crazy and thinking about the worst, even though I'm sure it'll be the best._

 _Criminy, how will I even GET through this day?_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Well I got through it. Somehow, by divine intervention, I got through my birthday, and then some._

 _Most everyone forgot, which didn't surprise me. I think only Phoebe and Arnold remembered and I'll give Tall Hair Boy half credit because I think Arnold probably reminded him to tell me 'happy birthday.'_

 _No, not THINK, I KNOW, because Arnold went WAY out of his way to make my birthday extra special. And I can list all the reasons why._

 _First, there was meeting him at the corner where Phoebe and I always meet the guys. He met me with a flower freshly plucked from Vitello's Flower Shop and a smile on his face, bright and shining like his emerald eyes as they met mine the second we rounded the corner. "Happy Birthday, Helga," he told me while handing me the daisy, my favorite flower, and I smiled while holding it close to my chest and outwardly swooning._

" _Arnold..." I said while sniffing the flower and looking over at him. "That's so...sweet of you," I said searching for the right word while we stood in front of our friends. "Thank you."_

 _He looked at Gerald and then back at me with slight disappointment before taking my hand and walking with me to school, a small "you're welcome" coming out of him before we took off in the direction of PS118. I found his reaction a little odd, but I let it roll off of me like water off a duck's back and continued on our way to school, flower in hand and smiling at the kind gesture he'd made, thinking that was his big surprise._

 _But boy, was_ I _wrong._

 _That was just the most MILD thing he did for me._

 _We arrived at school and entered our classroom, a selection of daisies sitting on my desk as I reached it and I turned around to look at Arnold in surprise. "Arnold... what the heck?" I asked him and he smiled wider this time with his hands behind his back._

" _Surprised?" He asked and I picked up the daisies and took a giant whiff of them._

" _How did you even GET these in here?" I wondered aloud, though he didn't answer and instead just whipped out a box of my favorite candies to hand to me._

" _It's your birthday today," he said, "I wanted you to feel special."_

 _I took the candies from him and stared down at the box and daisies in hand while shaking my head. "You didn't have to do all this for me, Shortman," I stated seriously and this took him aback for a moment._

" _But I wanted to," he defended himself as Gerald and Phoebe shared a glance from behind him and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _Well thank you, Arnold. Seriously. This is more than enough for one person. Especially me."_

" _Oh boy," he muttered to himself before taking his seat beside me and I looked at Phoebe with confused eyes._

" _What did I do?" I questioned as she shrugged her shoulders and walked to her own desk just a few feet from me at the front of the classroom; Gerald taking his in front of me without so much as a word to me._

 _Class began and not much else happened until recess when I reached my locker. I opened it, as usual, only this time to find a card taped to the inside of the locker door. "What the...?" I asked myself as I pulled it down and opened it up to find inside a glittery pink card and a necklace that had a heart pendant on the end of it taped to the inside of the card._

" _Happy Birthday," the card read, "To my friend," but before the word 'friend' there was a carrot with the word 'girl' at the top of it so it read 'girlfriend' and I chuckled at it amused by Arnold's gesture at a romantic card. "May your day be filled with bliss," the card read in it's stamp, to which he added, "and end with a most magnificent kiss."_

 _I grinned at the card, peeling the necklace off of the card and quickly fastened it around my neck so the pendant rested just above my collar bone. "That twerpy little sap," I mumbled to myself before heading out to recess to find him._

 _Without fail, he was waiting for me just outside the school doors with a small smile on his face. "I see you found my card," he said and I smiled while nodding my head._

" _I did," I told him, "but you know I'm not really a jewelry girl," I went on, "even though I do love this necklace."_

 _Arnold's face fell at my statement and he sighed while heading for the foursquare court. "C'mon," he said quietly, "I had Phoebe save you the foursquare court."_

 _Gerald was left behind staring at me with his arms crossed and shaking his head. "Mm mm MM," he hummed and I glared at him while mimicking his body language._

" _What?" I sneered and he just tsked his tongue before speaking._

" _You sure have some nerve, Pataki." He said before taking off for the court leaving me by myself with more questions than answers._

" _What did I do?" I threw my hands up in the air while asking nobody in particular._

 _Needless to say, I was glad when school was over and I could just go to Arnold's house and chill from all the school-work and classmates that drove me up a wall. And Geraldo and all his 'mm mm mm'ing's that were making me want to bang my head against a door. What was I doing that was warranting that, huh? I was just thanking Arnold for the things he'd given me! Criminy!_

 _But no matter how I thanked him, or how many times, Arnold didn't seem to take to it. The whole ride home on the bus, Arnold seemed sad about something and while I tried to talk to him, he didn't seem very responsive._

" _Thanks again for everything you did today for me, Arnold," I told him as the bus stopped in front of the boarding house and I grabbed my handful of daisies, the necklace around my neck and card and candies inside my bookbag._

" _No problem," he said softly as he stood up with me and gestured for me to leave the seat first._

" _Hey," I said once we got off of the bus and were safe on the pavement, "Are you okay?" I asked and he shrugged his shoulders._

" _I'm fine," He said melancholy-like and I tilted my head to the side in disbelief. "Just... you go inside first, okay?"_

 _I raised my brow at him and smirked. "Uh... why?"_

" _For me?" He offered and I sighed while shrugging my shoulders._

" _Well alright," I said, heading up the stoop to open the door, only to be greeted by a loud burst of singing from the boarders led by none other than Miles and Stella who were holding a cake in front of them with twelve candles lining the edges all lit up for me to blow out._

" _Happy Birthday to you!" They sang and I turned around to glare at Arnold._

" _Arnold..." I said and he sighed while looking away from me, a heavy blush on his cheeks._

" _Happy Birthday to you!" They continued as a warm feeling rushed to my OWN cheeks that I wished would go away._

" _You guys can stop, really..." I tried, but they were determined to finish the song as Miles pulled me inside, Arnold following behind._

" _Happy Birthday dear Helga," they sang dramatically while Miles put a hat on my head that I tried to shake off with little success, "Happy birthday to you!"_

 _Miles knelt down on one knee in front of everyone and presented himself with jazz hands and sang boisterously, "And many moooooooooore!"_

 _Arnold moved to stand beside me as Stella held the cake out for me to see it's delicate decorations, all around my name in elegant writing. "Make a wish," She urged and after looking around at everyone staring at me, I closed my eyes, made a wish (which I'm NOT telling you because then it won't come true, DOI), took a deep breath and then blew out the candles as hard as I could, managing to extinguish each and every one. The crowd of boarders and family burst into applause (except for Stella who was still holding the cake of course), and I chuckled at their enjoyment of the simple action of blowing out candles on a cake._

" _Happy birthday, Helga," Stella and Miles said in unison as Miles stood up from the floor; Stella setting the cake down on the nearby table in the hallway so they could both envelop me in a big hug._

 _I hugged them back and smiled in their grasp. "Thanks guys, that means a lot."_

 _Arnold stood beside us, a small frown on his face as he watched on and within moments, he grabbed my arm and quickly said, "Now it's my turn," and pulled me through the crowd and up the stairs to his room where he then shut the door and turned around to face a very confused me._

" _What the heck was THAT all about?" I asked while staring at him as he stared back at me._

" _I... I..." he stuttered while running hands through his hair before jutting them down to his sides and then taking a deep breath and exhaling quickly. "I just don't understand how you like their gift more than mine."_

 _I looked at him puzzled and shook my head. "Is THAT what you really think?" I asked him and he looked at me with wide eyes._

" _Well it is, isn't it? I mean, you told me that I didn't have to get you the daisies. You said they were too much for one person. You said you weren't a jewelry person-"_

 _I shook my head and quickly cut him off, "No, no, no, Arnold, you're reading this all wrong-"_

 _But he didn't want to hear me. He was ranting and I had to let him unload._

" _-and I spent my_ entire _allowance on your gifts because I just wanted to get it_ just right _but they weren't good enough so I'll just have to give you the only thing I have left and you might hate it-"_

" _Arnold," I tried again, this time softly, "you don't have to give me anything else..."_

 _But he wasn't listening, he was already searching through papers on his desk before finding the right one and holding it up to his face to read to me. "-but I have to try so here it is." He cleared his throat before reading from the paper._

" _To Helga G. Pataki on her twelfth birthday:_

 _You're turning twelve today_

 _And there's not much more to say_

 _Except that I'm just so glad_

 _To know the lives we've had_

 _Have brought us now together_

 _There's nothing I'd like better_

 _Than to have a life with you_

 _I hope you know that's true_

 _You mean so much to me_

 _My Helga G. Pataki."_

 _He looked up from his paper, his hands shaking, and met his eyes with mine that were tearing up at his horrible poem. Sure, it was bad, but out of all the gifts that he had given me, THIS was the one that had meant the most to me._

" _Arnold... you wrote that? For me?" I asked and he nodded his head._

" _I know it isn't as good as anything_ you'd _write, but I wanted to express how much you mean to me and in a way you might understand and I thought poetry was the way but Gerald said that things were a way to a woman's heart so I went out and spent all my money trying to impress you but you-"_

 _I walked up to him and set a finger on his lips silencing him and shaking my head. "Arnold, gifts and things aren't the way to a woman's heart. You've GOTTA stop listening to Tall Hair Boy when it comes to 'the ladies' because your first instinct was right."_

 _He looked up at me in amazement and spoke through my finger. "It was?"_

 _I nodded my head and let my hand down from his lips. "Yeah, Arnold. These things you got me were nice, but that poem you wrote? It showed me your true heart. And nothing beats that." I told him before taking a breath and moving my hand up to touch the pendant that resided around my neck. "But I'm keeping the necklace."_

 _Arnold chuckled at that and looked down to his feet while handing me the piece of paper he'd been clutching. "Well you can keep this too," he said, "After all, I wrote it for you."_

 _So I'll tape his poem right here, journal, so that I'll never forget the dearest gift I've ever gotten from Arnold Shortman._

 _That, and the kiss he gave me afterward which lasted a full 5 seconds which were the best 5 seconds of my entire life._

 _At the end of the day, it was a great birthday and I have Arnold to thank for that, Arnold and his parents, for making the day really feel special for once in my life._

 _But even so... it was just another day!_

 _Long live the 12th year!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _How did you all like this chapter? What did YOU think of Helga's birthday? Did arnold do a good job? Let me know in your REVIEW!_**

 ** _-Polka_**


	17. Entry 10

_Life is changing and fast it seems. Arnold was so much shorter the last time I saw him it seems, but the kid is sprouting like a weed. It won't be long before he reaches my height and even sooner before he tops me altogether. I tell ya, I'm not looking forward to THAT day. How can I call him a twerp anymore? I'll have to think of another name to call him. I guess he won't be a little shrimp forever._

 _In other news, the boys in our class' voices are sounding pretty funky. It's kinda funny really. Like today, Sid went to answer a question, and right in the middle of his sentence, his voice just gave out and cracked like three different octaves at once. It was hilarious and the whole class laughed. Poor guy went beat red. It was hysterical._

 _Probably not for him though. I sure am glad I'm a girl and don't have to go through THAT kind of physical change for the whole world to hear. 'Least girls' voices change easier than guys'. And we don't get adams apples like the guys, though Stinky has everyone beat- him and Harold are way ahead of the class when it comes to voice changing. The two of them went through all that a year ago, though it wasn't as dramatic as Sid's was today._

 _I wonder what it'll be like for Arnold and what his new voice will sound like. Will it still make me swoon like his voice does now? Will he still be the voice of reason for so many like he is today? Or will he too crack like the other boys and sound all weird for a time until it all smooths out? Will it sound smooth as silk? Will it be even better than before?_

 _Tonight, I swoon at the thought of Arnold's soon-to-be new voice and hope it is just as beautiful as his voice now._

 _Here's hoping,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Since it's spring and all, the spring talent show for the sixth graders is coming up. Basically, it's this big deal talent show that you are obligated to audition for in music class for a letter grade and if you make the cut, you get to perform your act in front of the entire school with like 9 other acts. It's been a tradition since as long as PS118 has been open I think. You get an entire hour off of school just for it and everyone gathers in the auditorium to watch the sixth graders perform as their swan song to the school before going off to middle school the next year._

 _There's a talent show EVERY year, but none as important as the sixth grade talent show. But I couldn't care less about the talent show. It isn't like I want to be up on that stage performing anything to anybody. I mean what kind of talent do I have anyway? What would I do, huh? Read a poem or something? All I'd do is put everybody to sleep._

 _I don't know what Arnold has cooked up, but he wants me to come over tonight to talk about his plan for the talent show which is where I'm headed in a few minutes. I hope he isn't thinking I'm about to do some kind of performance or anything. He's funny if he thinks I'll do diddly squat. Maybe I WILL just do a poem so I can get out of the talent show altogether. They wouldn't dare put me up there for a sure-fire snooze-fest._

 _Oh well. I guess I'll find out soon enough._

 _Be back in a few,_

 _Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

 _I rarely actually write a laugh because I find it cheesy, but in this instance, I'll make an exception._

 _HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

 _Whoof. Now that THAT'S out of my system, let me tell you about my little visit with Arnoldo._

 _I walked in the house, said hi to Miles and Stella who instructed me to meet Arnold in his room as he had a proposal for me, only making me slightly curious as to what they were talking about. I walked in his room, and the whole place was covered in props- fake flowers, doves, rabbits, hats, a giant box on wheels, the whole works and Arnold of course who was wearing a familiar cape and hat with a bow-tie and I stared at him with a raised brow while crossing my arms._

" _What's with the get-up?" I asked and he clapped his hands once while opening them up to present himself to me with a wide smile._

" _Welcome back, the astounding... Arnold-ini!" he announced and I brought my hand up to my mouth to hide my laughter as it ensued; Arnold dropping his arms and frowning at my reaction. "What, the costume's that bad? I thought the cape still fit..."_

" _It isn't the cape it's just..." I said between laughs before taking a deep breath to calm myself and starting over. "It's just, didn't this turn into a HUGE disaster the last time you tried the whole magic thing?"_

 _Arnold picked up the wand he had sitting on the giant box-on-wheels and began to fiddle with it while he responded to me sheepishly. "Well, yeah, but I'm older now and I've thought a lot about the tricks I'd do this time."_

" _Oh yeah?" I pressed, "And just what kind of tricks are you planning? I see you've got the rabbit for the rabbit in the hat, a dove for the same kind of trick and some flowers you'll pull out of your vest no doubt, so what else could possibly be new?" I wondered, though this merely excited Arnold as he set the wand down and spun the box-on-wheels around to face me._

" _May I present to you, the magic, box of knives!" He declared and I shook my head while reaching up to rub at the bridge of my nose._

" _And what, prey tell, could THAT possibly be if the name doesn't give it all away?" I asked with heavy sarcasm though Arnold answered anyway._

" _See, my assistant will get in the box, and I, the magnificent Arnold-ini, will preform the amazing task of shoving knives into the box without penetrating the person inside." He explained and I nodded my head while pursing my lips._

" _Alrighty then. So you're gonna shove Geraldo in this here box and then stab him with knives. I'm game." I agreed though Arnold shook his head and stepped around the box to come towards me and set a hand on my shoulder._

" _See, the thing that my show is missing is something even_ Gerald _can't fill," he began to say and I looked at him with wide eyes knowing exactly where he was headed with this. "What I need is a lovely assistant. Someone who is smart and knowledgeable and good with keeping a crowd interested._ And _someone the crowd won't be confused as to who is the great Arnold-ini."_

 _I smirked while still in shock and commented, "Well I'm pretty sure they'll all know who the football-head is, football-head."_

" _Helga, I need you to be my assistant. Please? I really want to get into this talent showcase and I can't do it without you." He pleaded and I sighed while dropping my arms to my sides._

" _Arnold..." I whined, "I just... I_ CAN'T _okay? I can't dress up in some froofy, sparkly getup and stand out there in front of everyone and do your every beck and call. That isn't me." I tried to justify to him, but he wasn't having it as he continued to try and talk me into his crazy idea._

" _I just can't do this without you. I'll totally flop," he said sadly and while I knew it was true, I tried to suggest someone else, ANYONE else other than me._

" _Why can't you ask Gerald, huh?" I asked and Arnold frowned while walking away from me to go back to fiddling with his wand._

" _Gerald is doing some song he wrote while playing piano. He's a shoe-in for the showcase. Everyone is saying so," He quietly said and I raised my brow while seeing the real reason why this was so important to him._

" _I get it..." I said suddenly enlightened, "You're jealous of Gerald..." I implicated though Arnold shook his head defiantly._

" _I am not," he stated seriously though I could see right through him._

" _Yes, Arnold, you so are. You wanted him to be your partner originally, didn't you? I'm your second bet, aren't I?" I went on to question though he didn't answer which was an answer all it's own._

 _With a frown, I walked over to him and looked directly into his eyes. "Look, I'll do your stupid magic show, okay?" I reasoned, "But on one condition," I stated and he looked at me with wild eyes, gracious that I'd finally agreed._

" _What's that? Anything, I'm just happy that you're saying yes." He said and I smiled at him before giving my condition._

" _I'm not wearing some stupid costume."_

" _We can talk about that." He backfired and my smile dropped._

" _Excuse me? I just said that was my condition," I solemnly stated and Arnold shook his head._

" _Helga, you_ have _to wear a costume of sorts. I mean it doesn't have to be sparkly and... what was the word you used? Fruity?"_

" _Froofy," I corrected him and he went on._

" _Right. It doesn't have to be like what you're imagining but you have to match me. You can't just go out there in your usual attire. We have to match." He insisted and I let out a dramatic sigh as my head dropped back and I caved._

" _Fine," I said loudly, "Fine, fine, fine, ALRIGHT, already. I'll wear a stupid costume, okay? There. Are you happy?"_

 _Arnold grinned while nodding his head. "Very."_

 _So now we have to meet every day after school to work on his act and make sure it's flawless and ready for performance coming up in two weeks. We have a LOT of work to do. I went to the local Rent-a-Movie and picked up some magic DVD's so he can have some different acts other than his stupid flowers and rabbits in the hat tricks because if_ I'm _gonna have anything to do with this, it's gonna be good and that's a fact._

 _Oh boy, what did I just get myself into?_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So today it happened for the very first time._

 _Arnold's voice cracked._

 _And Arnold just about crapped his pants._

 _I was walking into school with him, just entering the classroom, when he turned to me with a smile and asked me if I wanted to come over after school or if I had to stop home first._

 _Let me re-iterate that._

 _He said, "Do you want to come to my place after school? Or do you have to stop h-OM-e before coming ov-ER?" his voice squeaked and cracked and my eyes widened at the sound of it, his own widening as he realized what he sounded like._

 _We stared at each other for a long moment before I pointed at him and quietly said, "Did your voice just...?"_

 _And with that, he blinked and turned around, abandoning our conversation completely and rushing to his desk where he quickly sat down and faced forward as if nothing had happened._

 _I stood frozen where I was left behind, completely befuddled by what just happened._

 _And that was just this morning._

 _The rest of the day went by fine, I guess, until recess hit. I went to Arnold's desk and offered my hand. "Ready to crush some folks at foursquare? Can't do it without you, football-head."_

 _Arnold looked up at me and nodded his head, taking my hand and walking with me outside to our foursquare court which Gerald and Phoebe had saved, ready for the king and queen to take over._

 _But Arnold never spoke a word. No matter what happened in that crazy game, he never voiced a single sentence and I eyed him from the corner of my eye in confusion. Was this because of his voice cracking? I didn't mean to make him feel bad about it or anything, I just was wondering if that was what happened or if he had a sore throat or something. That happens, right?_

 _Recess came and went and we went back to class, Arnold remaining silent for the rest of the day. And when the teacher called on him for an answer, I raised my hand straight in the air and covered for him, knowing that he'd rather remain quiet for fear of cracking in front of the entire class. I knew what that shame of public puberty was like. I'd been through that. And I didn't wish that upon Arnold. I just hoped he realized he could be open with me above all people._

 _So when we finally made it to the Sunset Arms and up to his room, I approached him about his silent treatment with arms on my hips and sighed. "Arnold, I get why you're being silent."_

 _He raised his brow at me as if to say, 'you do?' from where he sat on his couch._

 _I nodded my head, reading his expression like a book. "I do, Arnold. And I want you to know that I wasn't trying to make fun of you earlier today. I just wanted to know if you had like... a cold or something or if... like... it was real."_

 _Arnold smirked, looking down at his feet and nodding his head, softly saying without a crack, "It was real."_

" _There! You spoke!" I exclaimed while raising my arms in the air. "Praise the lord, Arnold speaks at long last."_

" _Only because I'm with you. Who knows when it'll happ-EN again?" He cracked and in frustration he threw his head into his hands and ran his fingers through his hair._

 _I went over to sit next to him on the couch and set a hand on his back and rubbed it in circular motions. "Well, as we just saw, you DON'T know when it will happen again."_

 _Arnold scoffed while shaking his head in his hands. "Y-EA-h, and they said in that cl-ASS that this could last months."_

 _I sighed, not knowing what to tell him to make him feel better and nodded my head. "Yeah, well, at least it only lasts that long. Us women get the hard end of the bargain in puberty."_

 _Arnold glanced up at me before returning his head to hands and sighed. "Right, sorry about that."_

 _I shrugged my shoulders, "It's not that big of a deal, and neither is your voice cracking because once it's all over, you'll have a sultry voice that all the guys will be jealous of."_

 _Arnold chuckled, "You really th-INK so?" He asked and I nodded my head sincerely._

" _I really do. Look," I said while walking towards him, "This is just something that...that HAPPENS. And it happens to EVERY guy no matter how cool or lame or different or football-headed. You just gotta get through it. And you will. You're a tough kid," i said with a light punch on his arm and he chuckled before losing the laugh and his face dropped altogether._

" _There's just one problem," Arnold said suddenly and I raised my brow looking at him as he finally raised his head to turn and face me._

" _And what's that?"_

" _What about the talent showc-ASE? He asked before shaking his head. "There's no w-AY that I'll be able to perform in front of all those p-EO-ple with my voice sounding like this. I'll be the laughing stock of the sixth gr-AD-e."_

 _The more Arnold talked, the more his voice seemed to crack and I felt bad for the kid knowing it must be hard to hear your voice freaking out for no reason and without the capability of stopping it from doing so._

" _I say do it anyway," I said seriously and Arnold looked at me with wild eyes._

" _Are you cr-AZ-y?" He asked me through a squeak and I shrugged my shoulders while staring at him with an honest expression._

" _Look, your showcase is gonna be all about how you present yourself and your act. If you play INTO your voice cracking, it not only will be hilarious, it will be memorable and THAT will get you into the showcase for SURE." I explained and Arnold thought about that for a moment before slowly nodding his head._

" _You know what... you're r-I-ght, Helga. I could play into all of this and with your help, we could think of some witty comments and really make a sh-O-w of it." He said with a smile and I grinned back at him._

" _We GOT this football-head," I reassured him, "Cause you're stuck with me as your partner now."_

 _Arnold laughed and looked up at me with earnest eyes, the same green eyes that never change despite his changing appearance and vocal chords. "Helga?" he said quietly and I tilted my head while eyeing him._

" _Yeah Arnold?"_

" _Thanks. For everything. Don't think I didn't notice you sp-EAK-ing up for me in class today just so I wouldn't have to talk. I really appreciate it."_

 _I shrugged my shoulders, the act not being any sweat off my back. "Don't worry about it. It's what we do."_

" _We?" he asked and I watched him carefully._

" _Boyfriends and girlfriends. We stick up for each other. We have each other's backs." I explained and Arnold nodded his head reaching out to give me a big hug, squeezing me tight._

" _You're so great, Helga. I couldn't be happier to have you in my life."_

" _Ahh, don't get sappy on me now, football-head," I said into his shoulder while hugging him back. "But I'm pretty glad you're in my life too."_

 _Which I am. Even though he's changing and I'm changing, I'm in this for the long haul and nothing will make me stop loving Arnold the way that I do. I just long for the day when Arnold finally loves me back with the same depth that I love him. But I can wait. He'll get there. Right now he needs to focus on himself and just getting to be with me and the love will come._

 _After all, I've had YEARS on him in the love department so I can't possibly expect him to catch up to me after one trip to San Lorenzo and a few months of dating. He'll get there, I know it. I just have to be patient, that's all._

 _Anyway, tomorrow we start working on our act so I've got to start thinking of some witty lines to toss in the show for Arnold to say regarding his voice. The show is only in a couple of weeks after all! We've got our hands full!_

 _Ready for the long haul,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Well journal... WE DID IT!_

 _That's right, you heard me clearly, Arnold and I got into the talent showcase! Which means in two MORE weeks, we'll be performing our magic act in front of the entire student body in the auditorium with 9 other lucky saps._

 _And who might those other saps be, you ask? Well allow me to enlighten you._

 _First on the list is Gerald, playing piano and signing his song, as everybody predicted. Then there's Lila singing a tune while doing a traditional dance of some sort (though_ I _didn't think it was all that good), then Sheena and Eugene doing their Broadway medley including costume changes and full choreographed dance numbers. Next is Curly who did a Shakespearean monologue. Then, of ALL people, Rhonda, doing a mock fashion show starring the only and only her modeling clothes she had designed herself. Next on the ticket is Stinky playing the spoons (which was really kind of impressive, I'll give the kid credit). Then we have Park juggling, Phoebe fencing with her special guest- her father, and of course to end the whole shebang, Arnold and I with our Magic Extravaganza._

 _Honestly, some of the acts were a bit lackluster, but anything beat watching Harold shove food down his gullet and Nadine passing around her boxes of cockroaches making poor Princess pass out on occasion and had to be sent to the nurse. At the end of the day, the music teacher had to choose the best fit for the showcase and what would be the most entertaining to watch and Arnold and I were CLEARLY a shoe-in to make it to the final showcase in two weeks._

 _I mean, we practically had the class CRYING in laughter at our act as we fumbled around looking for our equipment and then finding it only to reveal the wrong item altogether. It was hilarious. All of our plans worked out perfectly and with my help, Arnold and I developed a perfect routine that had our entire class giving us a standing ovation complete with whistling and whooping and hollering._

 _Oddly enough, it was a feeling that I never knew, and yet, I craved such the reaction even more. I mean, there was a taste of it when I was in Romeo and Juliet, but that whole show was just about kissing Arnold, not about getting applause or anything. But the high of hearing it now... it made the hair on my arms stand on end and my blood rush through my veins rapidly making me feel as if I were floating through the air at the sound of their clapping and whooping and hollering. _

_It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before._

 _After the show was all done and our teacher had announced who would be performing in the showcase, we all left the classroom and walked as a group back to our own classroom; Arnold turning to me and smiling, walking side by side with me._

" _Looks like we did pretty ok-AY, huh?" His voice cracked to me and I chuckled with a nudge against him as we walked._

" _Were we watching the same act, football-head?" I retorted, "We were spectacular."_

" _W-E sure make a pretty great t-EA-m," Arnold commented with a slight blush hinting at his cheeks, "i couldn't have done A-ny of this without y-OU."_

 _I smiled his way and shrugged my shoulders. "You're right. You couldn't've."_

 _Arnold laughed and rolled his eyes. "W-OW. Pretty f-U-ll of ours-EL-ves aren't we, Helga?"_

" _After that performance I am. I'm feeling... on a high. That applause... I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually can't wait to perform this in front of the student body."_

 _Which honestly, I can't. The feeling it gives you when you perform is this remarkable high that I can't even explain. It gives you this feeling like you're floating and like anything can happen. And when I'm standing up there beside Arnold, I feel all of that and more._

 _That football-head was right. Blast him._

 _Either way, I'm looking forward to the big showcase in two weeks! Now we just have to work on perfecting our act and working out all the kinks before the big day. It'll mean going over to Arnold's house every day again and making sure we have everything under our control. Our act has to move like a well-oiled machine. The jokes have to come at JUST the right time and the slight of hand has to be unnoticeable to the untrained eye. Sure, our performance today was GOOD, but I want it to be GREAT._

 _Also... my costume ripped, so I have to work with Stella on fixing that. Note to self._

 _Ahh, there's so much to do and so little time!_

 _The theater awaits!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _ **Who's ready for the big showcase? I have a feeling it's gonna be great! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Please leave a REVIEW!**_

 _ **And thanks for your continued, never-ending support. I can't thank you enough. This story is gonna take you further than you even know.**_

 _ **REVIEW**_

 _ **-Polka**_


	18. Entry 11

_So I'll bet you're wondering how our spring talent showcase went, aren't you?_

 _Well, I'll let you in on all the juicy details._

 _Picture this- a full auditorium, the lights low as the chatter among the students drift through the ears of the nervous sixth graders backstage while Mr. Simmons and our music teacher Mrs. Morken- the two brains behind the operation –try to calm us down. But Arnold and I are poised. We are ready. We've been working on our act for nearly a month now and we aren't afraid or nervous as to what that stage holds for us. That stage holds NOTHING for us- it's US to hold EVERYTHING for that stage._

 _At long last, I heard the lights go on as Mrs. Morken and Mr. Simmons pushed passed the curtains and presented themselves to their unwilling audience who was just happy they got to skip the last class of school to be here. With a clearing of his throat, Mr. Simmons was the first to talk into the mic, his voice resounding through the auditorium and into the backstage where we were all patiently waiting._

" _Hello girls and boys," he said, the mic's feedback kicking in for a moment as some kids shrieked and we covered our ears until the microphone adjusted and he tapped the top gently. "Hello? Hello. Hello! Girls and boys! Today is a very special day as we honor our sixth graders in our annual spring talent showcase!"_

 _Mrs. Morken then stepped up to the mic and began to speak. "As you know, in just a short while, our sixth graders will move on to the next step of their educational career, middle school, but before the do that, they are going to show some of their amazing talents to us. These kids have worked very hard these passed few weeks in preparation for today, so be kind and please be sure to give them a hearty round of applause after each number."_

 _I rolled my eyes and glanced over at Arnold. "That's reassuring. So if we suck, we still get applause."_

" _Helga..." He scolded and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _What?"_

" _So without further adieu," Mrs. Morken continued, "We present to you," Mr. Simmons chiming in with her for the last words, "The sixth grade class!"_

 _And with that, the curtains opened up wide to reveal Gerald siting at the piano with sheet music before him and a smile on his face. From the sidelines, I could see Phoebe giving him a thumbs up before he began to play and sing into the mic, his already-deepened voice ringing through the auditorium with it's jazzy flair as he sang along to his unique tune and I had to admit, Tall Hair Boy had a gift. Heck, if him and Arnold teamed up, I'd bet they could really get something off the ground._

 _But who was I to say anything. I was just an observer._

 _By the time he finished with his last note, the crowd was already cheering for him, and with a bow, he exited stage left, only to realize he had to exit stage right and took the walk of shame across the stage to the other side as the younger kids laughed and Gerald mentally beat himself up over it._

" _God, that was BAD, man," he whispered to Arnold who shook his head._

" _No it wasn't. Gerald th-A-t was gre-A-t." He crackled and Gerald smiled at him and nodded his head._

" _You know who's GONNA be great? You two. Your act was practically flawless. Just wait till those kids see what you guys have in store for them."_

 _I crossed my arms and frowned. "Yeah. If they even GET what we're DOING," I said pessimistically and Gerald shrugged._

" _Who knows? Seems like they'll laugh at anything," he stated with a point of his finger just over his shoulder as Lila took to the stage in her pink leotard with a matching pink tutu to perform her rendition of_ Fairy Doll _from_ Le Corsaire _. It wasn't a hard ballet routine by any means, but it certainly was perfect for little miss perfect and if Olga were here to see it, she'd ooh and ahh at the perfection that is_ Li _la._

 _I frowned from the wings as she performed, Arnold coming around to me and setting a hand on my shoulder._

" _Why are you so je-AL-ous of her?" He asked softly and I shrugged my shoulders, my arms tightly folded over my chest._

" _I'm not JEALOUS Arnoldo, she just drives me up a wall." I answered and he nodded his head before whispering to me._

" _You have nothing to be worried about if that's what you're thinking, Helga."_

" _Worried?" I asked while turning to look at him. "Worried like she'd take you from me worried?" I asked before rolling my eyes. "Pssh, we all know you're way over little miss_ Li _la."_

" _Than why do you still hate her?" he whispered and I sighed while relaxing my shoulders._

" _Just LOOK at her" I said while gesturing towards her as she danced gracefully across the stage, "She's... she's... perfect."_

 _Arnold shook his head vehemently and instead turned to me. "I don't see perfection in Lila."_

" _You don't?" I asked before he took my hands and whispered to me without a crack in his voice because he was whispering and all._

" _I only see perfection in people I care about."_

 _I raised my brow as I looked at him curiously. "So like..."_

 _He nodded his head with a smile hinting at his lips. "Yes, Helga. Now stop worrying. Lila's dance is almost over which means we're one step closer to being on."_

 _Arnold cared! He really cared! Cared enough to see perfection in all that I see as failure! Oh the bliss! Oh the rapture! Oh the fast-beating heart inside my ever longing chest!_

 _No, Helga, I told myself. No time for inner monologues, it's time to get your game face on._

 _Lila finished her routine, a hefty size of applause following as she left the stage, Sheena and Eugene quick to replace her and got into their poses for their routine of Broadway showtunes that was definitely a showstopper. I remember their performance in class and as dorky as it was, it was pretty darn good. Good enough to be a huge highlight in the showcase. They began with their ode to_ Rats _and it just went on from there. I turned to look at Arnold, confusion in my eyes._

" _What if we're just being fools, Arnold?" I asked and he raised a brow at me._

" _What do you me-A-n?" He wondered back and I shook my head._

" _What if we blow it up there and the whole school laughs in our faces?"_

 _Arnold smiled at me and rubbed my arm warmly. "Helga, that w-O-n't happen, and if it d-OE-s, I'll be right th-E-re with you."_

Eugene, Eugene _began to play through the loudspeakers as the crowd cheered at their lift and spins and all the fancy things they'd worked into their routine. I had to give it to them, their number really WAS something special. Not so dorky after all._

" _You promise you won't just ditch and leave me out there to hang and dry?" I muttered and Arnold's eyes grew wide._

" _You honestly th-I-nk I would do th-A-t?" He asked in amazement and I shook my head. "Good. Because I wouldn't. It's you and me. Forever." He held out his pinky to me and I looked at it for a moment before he took my hand forced me to lock pinkies with him. "Th-E-re. Now it's a pr-O-mise. Forever."_

 _Maybe that'll become our new thing, the pinky thing. I don't know, but I kind of liked it. It made me feel like there was a bond between us that nobody could break._

 _The audience soon roared with applause as Sheena and Eugene exited the stage leaving it for the poor fool to follow next- and that poor fool was none other than Curly dressed in full Shakespearean attire holding a skull as he performed the famous monologue from_ Hamlet _. The 'To be or not to be' one. He began and let me tell you, even though he performed it to perfection, it was a snoozefest. Especially after the energy-charged performance that Sheena and Eugene had just put on. Now THAT'S some bad programming._

" _Can you believe Gammelthorpe up there?" I said to Arnold as he turned his head to watch. "The guy is a Shakespearean MASTER. Just wait till we hit high school. I bet you twenty fat ones that he is in EVERY theatrical performance."_

" _Yeah," Arnold agreed. "Him and Sh-EE-na."_

" _Sheena's not really suited for female leads though, you know," I said with a tilt of my head as we watched Curly, "They'll need someone with more... umph from their soul to pull off stuff."_

" _Well why not you?" Arnold suggested and I let out a stifled laugh._

" _Me? Are you nuts?"_

" _Well you did great in_ Romeo and Juliet. _Probably the best Juliet anyone has ever s-EE-n. You had the depth and the sk-I-ll and the emotion. I'd love to see you up on st-A-ge again." He went on and I rolled my eyes while nudging him from where I stood._

" _Yeah, yeah, we'll see. Maybe if they do something worth being a part of..."_

 _Small clapping eroded from the group as Curly left the stage letting the lights dim low as Rhonda herself took over for her one-woman fashion show, something that everyone was anxious to see her pull off again. She managed to do 4 costume changes in a mere 7 minutes flat and all to some stupid runway music she'd picked out. The lights went too and frow as she took to the stage in her first outfit, modeling it so before walking back and then disappearing behind a curtain and changing in a minute flat to model the next ensemble. She continued to do this as I talked with Arnold in the wings._

" _Do you think she does this at home? Just models her clothes for herself for fun?" I asked and Arnold shrugged his shoulders._

" _Maybe. But she's never h-A-d quite the audi-EN-ce before." He cracked and I smiled at him._

" _THAT'S for sure. I'm sure she's living some fantasy up there modeling her own clothes for everyone to oogle over her at." I muttered with a shake of my head._

 _Clapping resulted after her 7 minutes were up and she was heavily breathing as she exited the wings and looked at Stinky who was waiting to enter onto the stage._

" _Top THAT," she muttered to him as she strutted by and with a gulp, he grabbed his spoons and stool and headed onto the stage._

 _Stinky appeared to be nervous in his full farmer get-up with spoons in tow as he sat down on his stool. With a lone breath, he began spooning away... a weird talent but a talent nonetheless._

" _What do you think about that?" I asked Arnold as he shrugged._

" _Guess his d-A-d taught him. It's family tradition."_

" _To play with spoons?" I wondered aloud and Arnold nodded his head._

" _Huh." I simply stated, Stinky's short but sweet talent ending as the group once again offered up meek applause waiting for something good to happen._

 _But nothing good was about to happen. At least not yet._

 _Park was next on the bill and he took to the stage with his juggling sensation. He juggled this way and that, doing tricks that astounded the younger kids, but bored the older ones. He was like some clown at a birthday party without all the froo-froo of a clown's outfit. But all that aside, I had to give the guy credit where it's due._ I _could never juggle. It takes a lot of skill to do something like that so props to him._

 _Once he left the stage, my hands began to sweat because I knew there was only one thing standing in the way of Arnold and me and that was Phoebe and her father Kyo._

 _That's when the action began._

 _Phoebe was like an ANIMAL out there thirsting for blood with her fencing routine. Even when she'd done it for the class I'd never seen her like that. She was really putting on a show for everyone and she had their attention, that was for sure. With each dodge and grunt, she was into it and so was her father. They went back and forth for probably a good ten minutes before Phoebe finally took the win and they removed their masks and bowed to one another; Phoebe turning to face the audience and go towards the microphone to explain a little more about fencing and the art of it all._

" _That was... wow." I said as Arnold grabbed my hand._

" _You know that means we're next," he said without a crack in his voice and I swallowed hard, suddenly nervous at the thought of it._

" _Are we going to do okay you think?"_

" _What," Arnold asked, "You're suddenly n-ER-vous?"_

" _No, I mean, I just..." I sighed and nodded my head. "I guess a little bit, yeah."_

" _Well don't be. We HAVE this. You'll see. Once we get OU-t there, you'll for-GE-t you were ever nervous in the first place."_

 _And Arnold was right. Even under the hot lights of the auditorium, once we were on that stage, my fears melted away and soon I was in the thralls of the moment, my moment with Arnold and our magic routine._

" _I am the great Arnold-ini!" Arnold began as I stood in place just on the opposite end of the stage._

" _Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said as rehearsed, "And I'm his sidekick Helga."_

" _You're my assistant," Arnold countered and I rolled with the rehearsed punch and turned to face him._

" _Yeah, well I like sidekick better," a few rumbles of laughter emitted through the crowd and I knew we were onto something._

" _Okay... me and my... sidekick, will be per-FOR-ming for you a magic show for the c-EN-tury."_

 _I rolled my eye and gestured over to him with my thumb. "Are you guys LISTENING to this guy? He can't even make out a word without cracking all over the place."_

" _Helga..." He scolded and I held my arms up in surrender._

" _Alright, alright. I'll be your trusty sidekick."_

 _And so we began. We did numerous tricks, all without a single hitch and all with loads of jokes in between that included, but were not limited to:_

" _Another wise crack, what a good one, Arnoldo,"_

" _Do you ALWAYS crack jokes like that?"_

" _How about another crack at that there trick?"_

" _You just crack me up, football-head!"_

 _At some points Arnold even found himself laughing which caused me to laugh and then we had to cover for ourselves with some other witty comment that made the crowd go wild. Our routine was a wild success. Once we were done and we took our bows, Arnold and I made our way to the mic to give a speech we'd gone over to ease the minds of some of our fellow classmates and future sixth graders to come._

" _Just like our magic tricks here, we are all going through some pretty magic changes ourselves," Arnold said first before I went to take my turn._

" _Each and every one of you are sure to go through some magic yourselves so be sure to embrace them instead of hide them. We may have made jokes this whole time but it's something to be serious about." I said as Arnold took the mic back again._

" _Be true to yourselves and know that it will pass and leave you better than ever. My sidekick here taught me that," he said while turning to look at me with a smile that made me blush instantly and I turned to look at my feet as he finished out for the two of us. "And with that, we bid you a good night!"_

 _Mr. Simmons and Mrs. Morken came back to the stage then, clapping themselves and wandered to the mic summoning all of us out with a gesture. "Come back out here kids, let's give all of our showcase-ers a round of applause!" Mrs. Morken said as the crowd erupted in applause and whistling, something I wasn't expecting. We all bowed, Rhonda curtsying, as Mr. Simmons took the mic._

" _What special performances we saw here today. Now, be sure to exit the auditorium single file-" But before he could finish his sentence, the kids were already pushing their way out the doors and he sighed knowing there was no way he could control the hundreds of kids from where he was standing._

 _All in all, it was a great show and I was glad that Arnold had talked me into being a part of it. I never dreamed in a million years I'd be back up on that stage for any other reason than some concert. But Arnold surprised me again._

 _As for those 'magic changes,' Arnold was a champ doing the show even with his voice cracking. I know it took a lot for him to get up there and face his fears of people making fun of his voice changing but like we said in our speech, it's as natural as anything and there's nothing to be ashamed of it._

 _I'm glad Arnold feels comfortable enough to talk to me with his crack. Oddly enough, it makes me feel really special to know he feels like he can show even his vulnerable side with me._

 _Anyway, I've bored you long enough with this story, so sweet dreams and here's to those magic changes!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Summer is almost here and I can pretty much TASTE it! I'm counting down the days- only 13 more to go!_

 _In the meantime, we're all preparing ourselves for middle school, the next big deal in our young lives. Honestly, I'm not all that freaked out, but our teacher thought it would be a good idea to have one of the middle schoolers come to our class to talk to us about what we might expect when we get to middle school and how it differs from elementary school._

 _Big freakin' whoop._

 _Anyway, that's today, so I'll let you know how THAT goes._

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So here's the scoop. I wasn't freaked about middle school before, and it isn't that I am NOW, but I'm DEFINITELY having second thoughts._

 _This girl came into school, her name was Francesca, and she was an active 7th grader. Our teacher introduced her and told us that she was going to give us a run-down of all the things to 'look forward to' when it came to middle school._

 _Look forward to. HA._

" _Okay, so like," she started, slightly intimidated by the eyes staring at her from the front of the room, "Middle school is cool because it groups together all the elementary schools like PS119, PS120, PS118 and of course PS119. So it's a pretty big school which means lots of more classmates that you'll be meeting."_

 _The class all shared looks with one another before the girl continued._

" _So because there's so many other students, you get grouped off into 4 different 'teams' as we call it. The blue team, the red team, the orange team and the yellow team. Now, each of these teams have their own set of teachers for subjects like science, math, english and such. Following me?"_

 _Everybody looked around at each other, a few nods following her question while others just stared in shock and Arnold and I exchanged a sad glance. Was he thinking what I was thinking? What if we didn't end up on the same team? Would we ever see each other?_

" _Now don't worry," Francesca assured, "you'll still be able to see all of your friends even if you aren't on the same team." She said as if reading my mind. "Another cool thing about middle school is you get five minutes in between classes to say hi to your friends and to get to your next class. It might seem like a short time, but all that time adds up and all the classes are pretty close together so there is plenty of time to see each other in those five minutes."_

 _I nodded my head, though feeling pretty unconvinced. Five minutes didn't feel like long enough to spend time with Arnold, no matter what this chick said. And odds are, with MY luck, that Arnold and I WOULDN'T be on the same team which meant NONE of the same classes. And even if we WERE on the same team, who's to say we'd have any of the same times of classes? There was just too much on the line. This was definitely not reassuring me anything of middle school._

" _Another thing you should know is lunch period. You'll all have the same lunch period which is in an enormous lunchroom with plenty of places to sit. You get an hour and a half for lunch and there's even a neat little snack shop where you can buy pop and candy and other things while you're there. And if you're into it, you can volunteer to work there as well. I've done it a few times, it's pretty fun. And a great place to meet new people." She added as Phoebe turned around to tell me that that was something she'd be interested in doing and I smiled at her with a nod of my head._

 _I'm glad Pheebs was getting something out of this. Cause I sure wasn't._

" _Besides all of that, middle school isn't really all that scary," Francesca noted, "It takes some getting used to for sure, but once you get your schedule memorized, you'll find that it's easy to navigate and not scary at all. Now... you guys have any questions?"_

 _Sure. I had a lot of questions. None that I'd say out LOUD, but I had loads of questions. What were the worst teachers? Would any of them take appreciation in my writing? There weren't any counselors lurking around like Dr. Bliss, were there? How about parent teacher conferences? How often were those and did my parents HAVE to attend or could I just go by myself? That was probably a dumb question. They all probably were._

 _But the biggest questions on my mind were that of Arnold. How would we continue our relationship in these new waters? Would it be hard or easy? Did relationships ever last in middle school? Would we be able to make the long haul or were we destined to be doomed? I suppose this girl didn't have the answers to any of those questions, but it sure would be nice. It would be nice to have at least SOME answer to know if Arnold and I were destined to fail or if we even stood a chance. I know he would try and so would I, but would that be enough? Would it be enough to try or would we need some kind of miracle just to make it through?_

 _And what about high school? There was so much left of schooling for us to get through that I didn't know what the world had in store for us. I guess nobody did. Once Francesca left, our teacher went to the front of the classroom to reiterate how important it was for us not to be afraid of middle school and to simply enjoy our last few days of elementary school as they would be the memories we would take with us for the rest of our lives._

 _Boy would they ever._

 _Maybe they'd be the last memories Arnold and I would have, but I was determined not to let that be so. There HAD to be something I could do. There just HAD to be._

 _But until then, there was still summer, and THAT wasn't a season I was going to waste with Arnold. Summer was a kid's dream and it was going to be the summer of love for the two of us if I had anything to do with it._

 _And while summer was going on? I'd just have to come up with a plan to get on the same team as Arnold. There HAD to be a way to get on the same team as him. I just had to think of one._

 _Determined,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 ** _Like my ode to Francesca up there? I found it to be entertaining :)  
Anyway, let me know what you thought about this chapter by leaving a REVIEW and stick along for what's to come, it's going to be great! I promise! We're entering middle school soon! _**

**_-Polka_**


	19. Entry 12

**_So please excuse the last chapter you read- i've been updating on mobile and apparently it hasn't updated a SINGLE CHAPTER except for one which was out of order from the story. i didn't realize you'd all been waiting so long for a new chapter! I thought I'd posted all of them. That's the last time I"M using mobile to update my story!_**

 ** _Anyway, sorry about all that. please disregard the last chapter (which has now been deleted) and instead we are in summer right now and shall go forth from there. hope i didn't confuse anyone!_**

 ** _Please review!_**

* * *

 _Ahh, summer. Sweet, sweet summer- the time of year all kids dream of and wait for the entire year long. I must say, it's been a good one so far, but I will admit, I'd been hoping to see more of Arnold than I have been. I have to give him credit though, he's been trying, but he's just been so busy with his parents lately. They've been doing all the things with him that they've longed to do all year while school was in session like go to the botanical gardens and the zoo and all the other places they've wanted to go with him that it leaves little time for him to hang out with me._

 _That sounds so greedy._

 _I should be happy for him. I should be ecstatic for him and his first summer with his parents since last. His first FULL summer with them._

 _Don't get me wrong, we still talk and stuff and I get to share in family dinner most weeks still. It was at his last family dinner that his family came up with the idea that we share in a rather... unexpected experience._

" _Helga," Miles asked in between bites, "You ever gone camping?"_

 _I shrugged my shoulders and prepared a bite of food. "Like once. Bob wanted to use a bunch of his stupid products so we went out in his camper and ran into football-head here and got lost and it was a whole thing," I explained and Arnold nodded his head._

" _We used a bunch of tools that Grandpa taught us to find our way back to camp," he finished explaining for me and both Stella and Miles nodded their heads._

 _They shared a look before Stella dropped the bomb. "Well we were thinking, what better way to share in summer than to go camping? As a family?"_

 _I glanced over at Arnold before speaking. "Like... me too?"_

 _Miles chuckled and nodded his head. "Well you're practically part of the family, aren't you? So of course you're invited. What do you say?"_

 _Naturally, I said yes, even though I hated camping the last time I went. But I figured this time will be different what with going with Stella and Miles- people who ACTUALLY know what they're doing. I mean, they've lived in the JUNGLE for cripes sake. I'm pretty sure they can handle a little camping._

 _We're planning to go this weekend and Arnold is pretty excited. I guess I am too but I'm more just grateful to spend the extra time with him. I'm so nervous about our future schedules for middle school and never being able to see him. I'm still working on my master plan about how to get on his team or whatever but I haven't been able to figure anything out yet. Maybe Phoebe will have some ideas._

 _Here's to camping in the wild!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Phoebe had a genius idea!_

 _About my master plan that is._

 _I just got off the phone with her and she said that I should speak to the school counselor who, contrary to MY belief, isn't really like Dr. Bliss, and is in charge of scheduling and can fix me up with Arnold's team._

 _NOW I just have to think of the right excuse to get me on his team... maybe I should wait a day or two and say I hate a teacher or something... wait it out and feel out the situation. There has to be SOMETHING I can do to get on his stupid team._

 _Then again, there is the off-chance that I do get to get on his team anyway. I'm still hoping for that but let's be honest, my luck isn't all that great and schemes are all I'm really good at so I have to be prepared._

 _Scheming and Calculating,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Well, today is the day. Today is the day that we go a-camping in the big ole nature-fest that is the woods._

 _I'm all packed and ready, though to be honest, I had to borrow a lot of stuff from the Shortmans because I didn't really have camping gear. Not REAL camping gear that is. So anyway, I'm all set to go and I'm bringing you along in hopes that maybe the nature will inspire me to write some bomb poetry or something while I'm out. Also, so I can let you in on all the fun or craziness or shenanigans we get into while we're out on our two day adventure._

 _They'll be along any minute to pick me up so I'd better get going._

 _You'll be hearing from me soon!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _I'm sitting around a campfire right now. It's really serene and beautiful. I always loved looking at fire and the way the colors mix around one another like paint on canvas. If you look close enough, you can see all the different varieties of oranges and yellows and even the hot blues and hotter whites that flicker about above the coals and lumber._

 _Even now, I hear the peaceful sound of nature around me, the sound of the world moving on in it's own rhythm with the birds nesting in for the night and the crickets coming out to play with the fireflies that dance about the night sky. It's a irenic scene unlike any other, and I love it. I absolutely love it._

 _It's been a very full day of hiking and getting ready for this moment of quiet that I'm enjoying right now. I feel like the day has dragged on into two full days already and it's only been a few hours in the great span of things._

 _It all started when the Shortmans picked me up from the emporium around 10 o'clock this morning and we rode off in search for their perfect spot in the woods and parked the car. I figured we'd just go to some camping spot, but they wanted to hike to a spot that Grandpa had told them about, so we took off for it with backpacks on full of gear and water jugs in hand. I felt like we were preparing to be out in the woods for a week but in reality we were just going for a couple of days. It's crazy to think how many things we had just in preparation for our little camping trip._

 _Anyway, we trekked through the terrain which was surprisingly rougher than I had imagined. Nothing compared to the crazy hike that we had gone through in San Lorenzo, but it certainly wasn't any fun. We talked the whole way, which made the walk not as tasking, but while we were walking and talking, I opened my mouth and swallowed a fly, a full on FLY and coughed and coughed trying to get that sucker out of my esophagus as it struggled inside of me._

 _Miles immediately turned around from where he was walking ahead of me and walked towards me to slap me on the back, "Are you alright? What happened?" He asked and I coughed some more while bending over and holding myself by my thighs._

" _F-f-fly," I mustered while then pointing to my throat. "Fly!" I shouted as I swallowed the beast feeling like the little old lady who swallowed a fly and shuddered at what I'd just consumed._

" _Oh boy, you swallowed a fly, huh?" Miles said while giving me one more pat on the back and looking at me._

" _Definitely not a good start to our travels," I said with a small smile and Miles smiled back at me while squeezing my shoulder._

" _Well it's a long day yet, and we've got plenty more things planned to make up or your breakfast," He said with a chuckle and I rolled my eyes._

" _Hilarious," I commented as we continued on our walk up the giant hill to get to our 'perfect spot.'_

" _Wow," Stella said as she set her backpack down on the ground and stretched out her back. "Check out this view," She said while catching her breath as Arnold stood beside her and looked out at the lake that was directly ahead of us._

" _It's beautiful." Arnold commented while setting down his water jug and smiling while walking down the trail a bit to get a closer look at the lake._

" _So this is the perfect spot Phil was talking about, huh?" I asked as Miles and I approached and I threw my backpack on the ground and tossed the water jug beside it while leaning far back to give my back a break from all the carrying it'd been doing._

" _Guess so," Miles said, "Dad claims it has the best view of the lake at sunset in the whole camping site. Just have to get to it first."_

" _And some of the rarest flowers," Stella added with a smile and I nodded my head._

" _Cool," I commented before placing my hands on my hips, "So what do we do first? Flowers, or hunt around for sticks and stuff? I don't really know how this 'full camping experience' works."_

" _Well first we have to set up camp," Arnold said while turning around to look at his parents. "Right?" he asked as they nodded their heads._

" _Camp is right. We have to have that all ready to go so we have somewhere to sleep tonight when we're exhausted after today." Miles then clapped his hands and set his hands on his hips. "So let's set up some tents! You all ready? We've brought two, one for the ladies and one for us men who's ready to get this party started?!"_

 _And thus began the tent fiasco. Miles inducted some friendly competition between the two of our groups in who could put up their tent first and it induced adrenaline into my system though my body couldn't seem to work with it. I tried and tried to put up the poles of that old dang tent but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to put the right pieces together, even WITH Stella's instruction. It was like my hands were lost with my brain and I couldn't succeed and of COURSE, the boys won._

 _Not that they bragged though._

 _Nah, they were kind about it and only rubbed it in our faces for a little while until we decided to explore the surroundings a little more with Stella in the lead._

" _I can't wait to see what these woods have in store for us," She commented as we wandered through the thick underbrush of the trees and long grass that was our new home for the next two days. "We haven't done a lot of traveling in woods, have we Miles?"_

 _Miles shook his head as he pushed some branches away from his face and held them there for me to walk through the opening, "No sweets, we really haven't. It's mostly been jungle after jungle for us, hasn't it?"_

" _Too many jungles if you ask me," She commented as we continued to make our way through the deep wood._

" _Do you miss the jungle?" Arnold asked as he followed in his parents' footsteps._

 _Stella shrugged her shoulders while turning to look back at Miles with an understanding sort of look on her face. "Not really. Our time there is over and it's time to explore new places. Places like this."_

" _Hillwood?" I asked rather plainly._

 _Miles spoke up then with a smile on his face, "You may have grown up here but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of places left to explore."_

 _I rolled my eyes, "Somehow, I highly doubt that," I stated but Miles disagreed with me._

" _Remember that I grew up here too, you know," he reminded me, "and while I may have been gone for 10 years, there's still plenty left to find about this old city."_

" _Like what? Name one thing," I challenged with a narrow of my eyes and he narrowed his own eyes back at me before listing one._

" _How about where we are right now, Miss Pataki?" He said and I raised my brow. "You haven't explored these woods before, now have you? You're in a new territory right now, aren't you?" He asked and I sighed, knowing he was right and I couldn't even fight it._

 _Arnold smirked from where he walked behind his mother and he turned around to look at me. "Looks like my dad got you, Helga." He said and I stuck my tongue out at him as he laughed._

" _Fine, fine, you win this round daddio," I called him and he laughed out loud at the nickname as he stopped behind his wife who was squatting down to look at a plant in her path._

" _Hey! I'll take it," He said with a wink and I couldn't help but grin._

 _This was the kind of family I'd always wanted to be a part of. This kind of joking, laughing, kidding around group of weirdos who just understood me in a way that most other people didn't. It was with the Shortmans that I felt most comfortable and the more I spent time with them, the more I realized this simple fact- the fact that they had BECOME my family in a way my own family never could and probably never would. How sad is that?_

 _Anyway, we spent most of the day wandering around the woods looking and tracking flowers and learning a lot about the different species of plantlife that lived in our own backyard. It was actually way more interesting than it sounds and if Stella taught a class about it in school, I'd totally take it because she managed to make it fun AND educational which is hard to do. But being around her and Miles made it feel adventurous and exciting even though we were really just walking around and glancing at plants which actually, as I'm writing it, sounds super boring and dull._

 _We laughed, and talked about this and that, school and all the things that had happened in between them being gone and returning, our classmates that they had briefly met over their time being back and everything in between. It was educational for everyone I guess. And before we knew it, we were back at our campsite just as the sun was beginning to set and what a sight it was._

" _Boy, would you look at that sunset," Miles commented as we stood in the center of our little campground and stared out at the sky as it lit up above the waters of the lake ahead of us just where the trees split to let out to the small beach-like area._

 _The sky was a mixture of pinks and oranges, the hues swirling into one another as if someone had painted it themselves in the open canvas in front of us; the sun shimmering just above the water where it's reflection stood staring back up at it from below. I wished I had a camera to take a picture of the pure beauty that I was staring at, but even then, I knew that nothing could capture the purity that I was looking at, not truly._

" _Wow," I murmured as I watched on at the gorgeous sight to behold, "Phil was right... this really IS the perfect spot."_

 _Clouds framed the sunset perfectly like little cotton balls floating mid-air in the mixture of colors that surrounded the setting sun. I stared at the image for a long while, silence hovering over the four of us as we all took in the stunning picture that nature had made for us, and for us alone it felt. For a while, it felt as though all my troubles and the world itself had melted away and all that was left were us and this sunset; the breeze of the hot air swirling around me as if to whisper something in my ear- a secret to be kept between me and mother nature itself._

 _And then the moment was gone._

" _Ready to get a fire going?" Miles asked us abruptly, pulling me from my daydreams and the sunset ahead of us, "I'm starved. How about some grub? We brought plenty!"_

 _So then began dinner, family dinner but on location in our camp site with our sticks to roast hot dogs over the open fire that took WAY too long to start but Miles really sucks at starting fires. We couldn't stop laughing at him trying to start it and as hard as he tried, he couldn't get it going which only prompted us to laugh more at him as he grew frustrated and eventually handed off his tools to Stella who lit the fire with ease. It was really quite enjoyable._

 _Dinner was fun, we told stories and listened intently as Miles and Stella reminisced about their adventures firsthand from before Arnold was even born; Arnold's eyes wide the entire time as he heard these stories for the first time from his parents' own mouths. I found myself staring at Arnold and watching his every movement intently, fascinated with each facial expression he portrayed and every laugh that echoed from his lips at his parents' stories. He was so happy. I had never seen the kid more happy than in this moment as we sat around the campfire telling simple stories. And his happiness only made me all the more happier myself. It was like the circle of happiness or something. Cue that song from the Lion King._

 _Anyway, so now that brings us to where I sit around the fire after everyone has long gone to bed and I'm still up. The sky threatens rain though Miles doubts it actually will, but I have a bet going against him that it will pour. I know my clouds._

 _Oh crud, Arnold's up. He just walked out of his tent. He's looking at me. Maybe I should stop writing. No, I'll keep writing. Pretend I don't notice him. Maybe he's just up to go to the bathroom. La la la blah blah blah I'm writing to distract myself from Arnold. Nope. Nope. He's coming this way. I'd better go. I'll be back._

* * *

 _It's probably been like an hour or two. It's hard to tell because it's so dark outside and I don't have a clock or anything to tell me what the actual time is but Arnold and I have been talking for a long while now. Not about much in particular, mostly about the day, but I'll give you a few highlights in a second._

 _This kid. THIS KID. What is it about him that makes me so doe-eyed and honest and willing to be myself? What is it about him that makes me go all jello at the knees and feel all funny inside like there's a million bees buzzing under my very skin? It's like every time I'm even AROUND the guy I go all nuts-o and lose myself completely to his charm and utter self. Like tonight for instance. All I was doing was minding my own business around the campfire writing in my journal like a normal person and HERE he comes out of his tent to TALK to me and me ALONE. So then this SWITCH in my mind flips and all of a sudden my palms get all sweaty and I'm sweating in places I've never sweated before and my mouth is dry and I can't stop fidgeting because I don't want to go into full on Helga G. Pataki mode._

 _The whole thing is RIDICULOUS._

 _So I make small-talk with the football-head, right? Talk about the weather, talk about the day, talk about anything but whatever it is that he's clearly come out here to talk about, of course. But sooner or later I run out of things and it all comes out; everything comes out that he wants to talk about, that is._

" _So how are you enjoying the camping trip so far?" He asks me and I shrug my shoulders while setting my journal closed on my lap._

" _Fine I guess. I mean, it's been fun, really fun, you know. Interesting. Educational?" I struggle with adjectives to describe my time with him and his family and he chuckles as he sits on the log in front of me across the crackling fire._

" _Well which one is it?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders while looking at my feet and inwardly beating myself up at the stupid answer I'd given him._

" _All of them...?" I finally said and he nodded his head._

" _Well I'm glad, then," he responded, "because I wanted to talk to you about it and stuff."_

 _I raised my brow at him as the fire cracked a few times at the silence I let fall between us for a brief moment. "And stuff? What do you mean?"_

" _I guess... I guess I just, well," he was struggling with whatever it was he wanted to tell me and I leaned in slightly to listen as he spoke, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel uncomfortable with us."_

 _I smirked and leaned back after he finished his sentence. "Why would I feel uncomfortable?" I asked and he shrugged his shoulders._

" _I don't know. Because... we're... you know."_

" _I DON'T know," I said rather harshly, "Why, Arnold?" I pressed and he looked down at his lap._

" _Because... we aren't your family. But we want to be."_

 _This took me off-guard and he immediately began talking again. "We WANT you to be, keep that in mind. If we didn't, then you wouldn't be here."_

 _I nodded my head slowly, trying to piece together the words he'd spoken to me, but they didn't make sense to me. "So I should be uncomfortable here with you guys?" I asked and Arnold shook his head at me._

" _No, no, I don't_ want _you to be uncomfortable, that's the point. I want you to feel as comfortable as you possibly can around us and around me. You do, don't you?" He wondered and I felt the clamminess of my hands intensify as he asked the question and I nodded my head._

" _I feel comfortable. Especially around you. You make things feel... at ease... inside my brain. If that makes sense." I muttered and he smiled while nodding his head._

" _I'm glad," he said softly while standing up to move and sit beside me on my log. After a minute or so, he spoke again, this time anxiously. "Are you nervous about going into middle school?"_

 _I scoffed while shaking my head. "You have no idea, Hair Boy," I muttered back at him._

" _Try me," he pressed and I glanced over at him before taking a deep breath and revealing my innermost fears at long last, even though I had a plan to remedy them if all went wrong._

" _I guess I'm just scared we won't have classes together," I admitted, "and that we won't see each other or anything and that we'll... we'll..." I couldn't finish the statement but Arnold was smart enough to figure it out for me._

" _We'll not be together?" He said as more of a question than a finishing of my sentence and I nodded my head sheepishly not wanting to admit that the thought had crossed my mind._

" _Well," he started, "I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it," he said calmly. "But if we're strong enough, and if you care about me as much as you say that you do and if you trust me, then we'll be fine. Do you trust me, Helga?"_

 _It was a loaded question, whether he knew it or not. Did I trust him? Did I trust Arnold not to break my heart by leaving me when we had just gotten started? Did I trust him not to hurt my fragile heart when I was giving him all of me, my very soul and very core of my being? Did I? Did I trust him?_

 _I turned to look into those deep green eyes I'd pined over since the day I'd met them and nodded my head. "Yeah," I breathed out, "I trust you."_

" _Then we'll be okay," he said with a warm smile. "And besides, we're only 12. There's a long way yet to go."_

 _But didn't he know that that was what I was worried about most? The long haul, the future, the if's and the when's, those were the things that kept me up at night. But I'd have to leave them be, because he leaned over and gently pecked my lips with his before standing up and wandering to his tent. "I'll see you in the morning, Helga," he said kindly before unzipping the tent and disappearing to leave me and you, dear journal, be by ourselves among the flames of the fire once again._

 _And with that, I will leave you be for the night, journal. I have a lot to think about tonight and I'm pretty sure I hear thunder which means if I get to hear that sweet pitter patter on the top of our tent, I win the bet between Miles and me and I get bragging rights in the morning. Ha to him and his big ole chin!_

 _Ready for day two,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_


	20. Entry 13

**_Sorry it's been soooooo long since i've updated- i'm working two jobs at the moment and just got a promotion at one of them so i'm working like 70-80 hour weeks which is taking up a lot of my time plus i've had writer's block but HERE I AM READY TO RUMBLE. Please review and leave me something good :)_**

* * *

 _Welp._

 _It rained._

 _And I WOULD be gloating about this because that means I won my bet with Miles from yesterday about it not raining if I hadn't been slapped with a hefty dose of karma at what I believe to be around 2am this morning. And I'm gonna tell you about it while Miles and Stella struggle to make fire while attempting to use the damp surroundings as firewood to make a fire for breakfast while Arnold sits nearby watching them try as they might._

 _I was sleeping pretty hard on the hard ground, not even tossing and turning as I usually do. I was right in the middle of a good dream too even though I don't remember what it was about. The rain had put me to sleep quite effortlessly as rain usually tends to do, and I was probably into REM when it happened. Stella says the rain must have softened the ground underneath us because the poles that held our tent into place slipped and it didn't take long for our tent to slip and slide and then roll altogether down the hill and into the lake._

 _So_ I _woke up bright and early this morning with Stella soaking wet and in the lake. THAT was fun._

 _Miles found it hilarious and Arnold tried to cover his laughter though I could see right through his disguise. And thankfully, they helped us at the early morning hour to put our tent back up in a more secure location and we put our clothes up on a nearby tree's branch to dry over the rest of the night though they didn't dry very well because it's super humid today which Miles says is perfect swimming weather._

 _So of course, that's what's on the ticket for today- a nice swim in the lake even though I HAD one of those this morning already._

 _Anyway, it seems as though Miles and Stella have a fire going so we're going to make pancakes somehow with the pans they've brought. I can't wait to see how THIS turns out. I'll get back to ya._

 _Hungry and wet,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _I might have sounded a bit negative this morning, but that's only because of the fiasco of the tent because I'm in a much better mood after the day I've had. We're currently in the car on the ride home from our camping adventure and I'll say, it sure was an adventure indeed._

 _We started off the day with breakfast though the flies were unending and ended up in our pancakes so we just picked them up as I wasn't about to have ANOTHER fly in my gullet for a dining experience. After breakfast, we decided to tear down our camp so we could save time later and spend the day exploring some more and swimming in the cool lake to take away some of the deathly heat that was bearing down on us. This time, Miles challenged us to another duel of who could take down the tents the fastest and guess what? This time, Stella and I won! Aha! Take that gentlemen!_

 _So from there, Miles led the day because Stella led yesterday and we went on a scavenger hunt for various things around the woods. He made a list last night I guess in_ his _brand new journal and we set off in the woods for the items he'd written down in preparation for us to find. It sounds lame, I know, but all these lame things the Shortmans have planned always end up being a lot of fun. We scavenged the woods looking for particular pinecones and specific plants that Stella had taught us about from the day before almost as a test of our knowledge from everything she'd explained and I guess we passed because we found almost everything within a few hours. And our reward? Swimming! At long last!_

 _The water felt so cool and so refreshing from the heat. Nothing like the stupid heated pool at school that I was so used to at this point. But I'll admit, even though Arnold had seen me in my bathing suit before, I was still a little nervous to jump in with it on; anxious about the way my growing body looked in it._

" _C'mon Helga," Arnold urged me from where I stood on the sand as everyone splashed about in the water, "Jump in! The water feels great!"_

 _I looked around at my surroundings and reached up to wipe a few beads of sweat that dripped down my brow until I realized: the more I stood around, the more Arnold could look at me in my bathing suit and that was all it took for me to jump in the water and join the Shortmans in the lake to laugh and play and soon, I stopped thinking about my body and enjoyed the day entirely as we played chicken and other such water games._

 _Later, after we were tired from all our games, Miles and Stella decided to float on the waters of the lake and I stepped out of it to admire the water and the sky and the entire scene as a whole from the view of the small beach area. Arnold took notice of where I was sitting, and moved from out of the water to join me where I was sitting._

" _Hey Helga, whatt're you up to?" He asked me as he took a seat on the sand beside me and I shrugged my shoulders while continuing to stare out into the distance._

" _Just admiring the view," I said dreamily as my eyes danced around at the way the light hit the trees' leaves and bounced off into the atmosphere._

" _I see," Arnold mused before turning to face me and smiling. "Did you have fun this weekend?" He wondered and I turned to face him while nodding my head._

" _Yeah, it was... interesting. I learned a lot and your parents are fun, as always." I told him but this made him frown and I raised a brow. "What's wrong?"_

" _I guess I just hoped you'd think it was more than educational..." He said and I smirked while leaning over to nudge him with my shoulder._

" _Oh stop ya weirdo," I said, "I had a great time. Minus rolling into the lake of course."_

" _Yeah," Arnold said with a turn of his lips, "That was a little unfortunate."_

" _Kinda funny though in retrospect now that you think about it," I commented with a slight laugh and Arnold chuckled with me._

" _Yeah, it'll be a great memory some day to tell someone."_

 _I smirked. "What like my future kids?"_

 _He shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head once. "Yeah, sure, I guess so."_

" _Is that a girly thing to do? Or do guys think about it too?" I questioned him._

" _Think about what?"_

" _About kids and stuff. Like what your future will be like." I wondered aloud and Arnold turned to face out to the lake and answered me waveringly._

" _I suppose I think about the future too," he said quietly. "Maybe not so much about my kids but about where I'll be and what I'll be doing with my life."_

" _Who you'll be with?" I blurted out and he continued to face forward and nodded his head._

" _Yeah, I think about that too sometimes."_

" _And?" I pressed but he merely smiled and turned to look at me._

" _If you're trying to get me to say if I think about the two of us in my future or not, I do, you know. Just maybe not as much as you do. I try to live in the present and just go with the flow." He answered and I nodded my head._

" _Of course you do. You're like a weird-headed Buddha without the belly. All that mindfulness and other crap."_

 _This made him let out a big laugh and he stood up and brushed some sand off of his shorts and offered me his hand. "C'mon, let's go attack my parents."_

" _What?" I asked and he gestured for me to take his hand once more._

" _You know, a good old fashioned splash attack. They'll love it."_

 _So I took his hand and off we went into the lake to disturb his parents' peace and splash them while laughing, all our talk of the future now in the past._

 _Soon, the light of the Earth dimmed and the sunset took over the sky once more with such hues of pink and purples that set on top of each other like an oil painting perfectly painted by the hand of a master painter. Unfortunately, the sunset signaled our time to go and we packed up our things to head out of Phil's 'perfect site' and hike our way back down the hill and to where the car was parked._

 _So here I am, sitting in the back seat of the car with Arnold on our serene ride back to the reality of the beeper emporium that awaits me. It was a great trip out and I'm glad I went even though camping sounded lame. But I'm starting to learn that even the lamest things are cool when you join with the Shortmans._

 _Let's leave it on a good note,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Tonight, in lieu of family dinner, we had an old fashioned barbecue, boarders and all. We held it on top of the roof and Miles grilled for us. Or at least TRIED to grill for us. Let me explain._

 _The roof was lit like a Christmas tree- lights all around the outskirts of the building and everywhere the eye could see. The ambiance was fun and light-hearted, full of warmth and enjoyment soon to be had by all. The boarders joined us in all their boisterous usual selves, laughing and arguing the way they typically did and Arnold and I sat among them watching as Miles lit up the grill to prepare the hot dogs first for the group._

" _Who's ready for some grilled dogs hot off the grill?" Miles asked with tongs in hand, clapping them together a couple of times for exaggeration to his already obnoxious attire of an apron that read, 'This Dad is Flippin' Awesome' with two thumbs on either side pointing towards himself and a chefs hat that he probably took from Gertie's overwhelming box of props._

" _Keep talking Sonny, we'll see how far you get with that grill," Phil said while pointing to it with another hand on his hip. "She's older than_ you _are."_

" _I think I can handle a grill, dad," he argued while lighting the grill with ease and setting the dogs on top of it. "See? We're doing just beautifully."_

" _Mmhm," Phil hummed flatly, "Keep talking wise guy, we'll see."_

" _Ye have little faith," Miles mumbled while turning his attention to the grill as Arnold and I watched on to Ernie who began berating Oskar ahead of him as they played poker at the foldout table they'd brought up with them._

" _Hey you wise, guy! What, do you think I'm blind?!" He called out while pointing viciously in Oskar's direction._

" _I don't know what you are talking about little man," Oskar said with a bad pokerface as Ernie only became angrier and stood up on top of his chair to confront him across the table._

" _The ace! I saw you slide it up your sleeve!" Ernie hollered and Arnold and I turned our heads simultaneously to wait for Oskar's response to his allegations._

" _What ace?" Oskar asked while raising his hands as cards fell out of his sleeves to flutter down to the floor and Ernie's brow furrowed in anger; Oskar laughing a weak chuckle. "How did those get in there?" He asked while looking around for an answer to his obvious question._

" _Why I outta-" Ernie started only to be stopped by the giant flame that emitted from the grill at that very moment._

" _Woah!" Miles yelped while stepping back from the grill and waving his hand quickly through the air as if it would stop the pain now shooting through his hand; a clatter of metal sounding through the air as his tongs dropped to the ground._

" _Miles, sweetheart," Stella said while rushing to his side to examine his hand, "Are you alright?"_

" _Ha! I told you she wouldn't take pity on you, son!" Phil said as Stella and Miles glared in his direction._

" _Not now, dad," Miles grumbled while still shaking his hand through the air as Stella tried to get him to stop long enough for her to look at it._

" _Oof, Miles, I can't believe you just burned yourself like that," Stella commented while tsking her tongue. "We'd better get you bandaged up."_

" _Is he going to be okay, mom?" Arnold asked as Stella smiled his way and nodded her head._

" _He'll be fine, honey," she answered, "Your father is just a bit of a klutz is all," she said while tapping his hurt appendage and he flinched while snapping his hand back._

" _Hey, hey, hey," he said and she looked at him sheepishly while gently taking his hand back._

" _Sorry," She apologized as they exited the roof for the first aid kit down back inside the boarding house._

 _After that, Phil took over manning the old grill that Miles continued to protest was the real cause of the outbreak of the fire though Stella still blamed his clumsiness. And as it ruined all of our hot dogs, we stuck just to hamburgers which we had plenty of until Oskar began eating and he ate most of them in a surprising festival of eating that I honestly never believed would stop._

" _Are you planning on leaving any for the rest of us Kokoshka?" Ernie asked as Mr. Hyunh quickly took another hamburger from the plate as we all were eating._

" _Yes, Ernie right, Oskar. You will get sick! No good!" He warned, though Oskar merely swallowed and shrugged his shoulders._

" _I'll be fine-" he burped rather loudly "-really."_

" _Maybe you should slow down at least, Oskar," Arnold forewarned after his bite of his own burger, "Maybe some other people would like some seconds."_

" _Then maybe they should take some," Oskar said almost sourly though I knew he didn't mean it, the guy wasn't smart enough to have a malicious bone in his body._

 _So we ate, and Oskar ate, and ate, until there wasn't anything left and we were all stuffed to the brim with hamburgers, chips and the fixings. Once the eating was complete came the fun part of my entry, the moment when things got really interesting or at least fun. Mr. Hyunh brought out his guitar and announced that he would play a few numbers for us as the sun set over Hillwood._

 _I'll admit, I forgot how good Mr. Hyunh was at playing guitar since 'Simple Things' came out over the airwaves, but his playing was soothing and his voice even more calming over the quiet night as it approached us._

 _As the colors of the sky painted themselves around the picture of our group, Gertie moved to pull Phil to the center of the roof and hold him close to her where they began to dance to the soft acoustic music playing in the background of the chatter among the other boarders. Soon, Miles and Stella joined them and as I watched them dance, only moments later, Arnold approached me, his hand outstretched towards me._

" _Helga," He asked me softly, "Would you like to dance with me?"_

 _My eyes grazed him from his toes and up to his oddly-shaped head only to settle on his emerald eyes. "Dance?" I repeated to him and he nodded his head while pointing with his thumb at his parents and grandparents behind him._

" _I figured since everyone else is dancing, maybe you might want to. Dance. With me." He managed and I cleared my throat while adjusting in my seat._

" _Well, not EVERYone is dancing," I said while gesturing towards the other boarders that were sitting with me, arguing with each other and paying no mind to the dancers in the center of the roof._

" _You_ really _think that_ they're _going to dance with each other?" Arnold questioned me and I turned around on the chair to look at the boarders who were still contesting with each other and then turned back around to face him and frowned._

" _You're probably right, there," I agreed and he offered his hand once more._

" _So why don't you want to dance with me?" He asked. "Is something wrong?"_

" _No," I replied, "Nothing's wrong, it's just, well, the LAST time we danced, you sort of through me in a pool."_

 _He raised his brow and a sly smile spread across his face. "And what, you think I'll throw you off the roof?"_

" _Well, no," I answered, adjusting in my seat once again, "I just-"_

" _You just what, Helga?"_

 _I blinked twice before sighing and whispering out, honestly, "What if we look dumb in front of your parents?"_

 _Arnold smiled and reached for my hand pulling me up to stand with him and holding my hand tightly. "Who cares? I just want to dance with you." He said and who could say no to that?_

 _So in his arms I flew onto the clouds of cloud 9 and danced away to the soft pluckings of Mr. Hyunh as he played in the corner of the roof. I stared into Arnold's soft green eyes as he smiled back at me and soon we weren't stepping on each other's feet and were just floating as we swayed to and fro to the music as it swirled around us with the ebbs of the wind and chill of the night. It was beautiful. I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to end the night. And were there eyes on us? I couldn't even tell and frankly? I didn't even care._

 _It was a summer barbecue to remember._

 _Sore feet but a soft heart,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Mom took me school shopping today. What a joy THAT was._

 _She's still free of smoothies, and sharp as a tack as ever. We went to Office World for my school supplies, me grabbing the school supply list from the cardboard centerpiece in the center of the store._

" _You know mom," I told her, "you could have just given me some money and dropped me off so I could get the stuff myself."_

" _Yes, but honey, where's the fun in that?" She asked me, "Besides, don't you think it's high time we had some mother daughter bonding? We haven't done that since you were a little girl."_

" _I mean I GUESS you're right, but who bonds over buying school supplies? Can't we do something FUN?" I asked and she shrugged her shoulders while picking a cart from the lot of carts and setting her purse in the baby seat section._

" _Well I thought maybe after we're done here, we could go and get something to eat, just you and me. We could talk about some things. Maybe go to that place you like so much? Slausen's? With the great milkshakes?"_

 _I raised my brow as I turned to face her. "You remember?" I wondered aloud and she nodded her head with a smile._

" _Of course I remember, silly," she said with a gesture of nonchalance, "you want to go there, honey?"_

" _Yeah, I'd... I'd love to," I said with excitement at the thought of their milkshakes making my mouth near drool._

" _Well great! It's a plan! Let's get that stuff on your list first though, okay? So what's first on the ticket?"_

 _So off we ran around the store picking up folders, notebooks, pencils, pens, and all the other items on my list that deemed necessary for my upcoming school year. It must have taken at least an hour and it wasn't entertaining because she kept insisting that SHE look at the list to make sure I got everything like I was illegible or something. It was ridiculous._

 _The high ticket item on the list was a brand new calculator, and not just ANY calculator, a crazy-looking computer-in-your-hand sort of calculator that would take me years to understand. There must have been hundreds of buttons on the dang thing and I couldn't imagine using all of them. These teachers better be good if I was ever to understand how to use this piece of crap. Not to mention it cost nearly a hundred bucks! Who ever heard of spending a hundred bucks on a CALCULATOR?_

 _Anyway, soon we were done with the shopping and it was off to Slausen's where my milkshake and burger and fries awaited me as a reward for all my patience in school supply shopping. It was as I sat across from Miriam that she decided to set off the bomb of information for me to hear._

" _You enjoying your meal, honey?" She asked me as I inhaled my burger and fries and took a sip from my milkshake and nodded my head._

" _Yeah, Miriam, it's great. Yours?" I asked while gesturing to her plate of salad and she nodded her head with a smile before taking a sip of water._

" _Yes," she said, "It's wonderful. I can see why you enjoy this place so much. You come here with your friends?" She asked and I nodded my head._

" _Yeah, we usually come here after games and stuff," I told her while dipping my fry in ketchup and popping it into my mouth._

" _At Gerald Field?" She wondered and I raised my brow in surprise._

" _You remembered," I commented and she nodded her head._

" _I remember a lot of things these days, honey," she said with a smile and she reached across the table to take my hand. "In fact, I wanted to talk to you about a few things today while we were out eating if that is alright with you."_

 _I nodded my head quietly to let her continue as she took a deep breath and prepped herself for what ever she was about to say next. "First, I wanted to apologize to you, Helga."_

 _I sat back and eyed her curiously. "Apologize?" I asked and she nodded her head._

" _Yes, sweetie. I haven't been a very good mom for a few years and I just wanted you to know that because of your friend Arnold's mom, Stella, I've seen the light so to speak. And I want to make it up to you. I'm_ trying _to make it up to you." She huffed out a shaky breath as if she were trying to suppress tears and continued. "I know there's nothing I can do to make up all those years I've lost with you, but I want these next years to change and I will do the best that I can to do that. Can you forgive me?"_

 _I thought about this for a long while; thought about all the times Miriam forgot about me and chose my sister instead to remember. I thought about all the times that she forgot my lunch and forgot my dry cleaning or forgot to bring me to school on important occasions- the times that I had to walk to school in the freezing cold or the pouring rain but I wanted to give her another chance. For all the times that she messed up, there were a few memories of Miriam where she hadn't messed up entirely. The times where she proved to care more than she led on and that she COULD be a good mom if she needed to. It was in her._

 _So with a deep breath, I let it out and nodded my head. "Yeah mom, I forgive you. I'll give you another chance."_

 _A smile spread across her face and she moved on to the next topic at hand. "I wanted to talk about something else too, honey. Something on behalf of both your father and me."_

" _Oh?" I asked, intrigued by her setup._

" _Well, you may have heard your father and I talking a lot more lately-" she began but I stopped her mid-sentence and shook my head._

" _Honestly, I don't pay much attention to what you two do." I said bluntly and this caught her off-guard though she continued._

" _Alright...well, we've decided that I should take over the beeper company while your father focuses on marketing and advertising so we can keep the good name of the company." She finally said and I smiled at the good news._

" _Mom! That's great!" I said, enthused._

" _It's been going really well. We're slowly switching over to the world of smart phones and we have a few clients really interested in helping the company get back on its feet. We're getting there. But to do that, we can't be living in the emporium anymore." She finally said and I raised my brow at her._

" _What are you saying?" I asked and she leaned in to take a deep breath and finally spit out her words._

" _We're moving, honey."_

" _Moving?!" I exclaimed for the whole restaurant to hear, images flashing in my head._

 _We couldn't move! Not with everything going so well in my life! I finally had everything I wanted! I had Miles and Stella in my life and Arnold, dear, sweet Arnold who made my heart palpitate at his every move. I finally had things to live for and now it would all be taken away?!_

 _But Miriam was quick to hush me and shook her head vigorously. "No, sweetie, listen, I've talked to the real estate agent associated with our house and I've negotiated that we move back in and begin paying for it again."_

" _Our old house," I stated and she nodded her head. "Well that's great! When do we move in?"_

" _On the second of September." She said and I frowned._

" _But that's the first day of school..." I said and she smiled._

" _It will all be ready by the time you're out of school."_

 _So there you have it journal. No more emporium living for this girl! We're finally and I mean FINALLY moving back home to the house and I couldn't be more thrilled. It really feels like the puzzle pieces of my life are falling into place and I don't know what it's like to be TRULY happy, but I think this is it, and I'm loving every minute of it._

 _I can't WAIT to tell Arnold!_

 _Truly Happy,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_


	21. Entry 14

_Dear Journal,_

 _I've decided that I'm going to try and salvage as much of you as I can by trying to only recount the most important of moments that happen. Since this journal is special and all because it came from Miles himself (and Stella), I want this journal to count and have the most important things in it and as many as possible inside of it. That's why I haven't been writing as much in you because honestly, not much has been happening._

 _Arnold and I have been doing more things together lately. We've been hanging out at his place and bonding with his parents. We've even started this game night with Gerald and Phoebe on Saturdays that we'd really like to continue even when school starts. It's pretty fun, we all gather up, the boarders and us, in the living room and play game after game laughing and eating snack after snack playing new games and old and talking until late in the evening. It's helped me get to know Geraldo a little better than I used to know him and I have to admit, as much as I HATE to admit, the guy is pretty fun. He might even be cool._

 _But anyway, that's what my summer has been basically. Lots of games and laughing and bonding. It's been a summer unlike any other and honestly? My fears of losing Arnold are kind of going away. Maybe we can do this middle school thing. Maybe I don't have to switch teams just to see Arnold._

 _But even though my thought process might be changing, it didn't mean I didn't want to be on his team. So when our letters came in the mail with our schedules on them, we saved them and I brought mine over so we could open the letters together. Call me superstitious, but I hoped that it would bring me some luck on getting onto the same team as him._

 _Anyway, our letters finally arrived the other day, so I went to his house tonight so we could open them together and check out to see if we shared any classes together. If we weren't on the same team, there was the off chance that we would share gym together or swimming, but I sure hoped I wouldn't have to go through THAT pain all over again. I hated Arnold seeing my competitive side and my body so the two just didn't mix._

" _You ready to do this thing?" I asked him as I plopped down beside him on his bed with a smile and letter in hand._

 _He pulled his letter out from beside him and waved it in the air. "Ready as I'm ever gonna be."_

 _We held the letters in our laps, poised to open them, but I chewed my lip, not wanting to open mine and deal with the fate that it held inside. "What if... what if we DON'T get on the same team?" I asked as I'd asked many times and he smiled while looking at me with soft eyes._

" _I told you, we'll work with it. Together. I care about you, you have to know that, Helga."_

" _I know, I know," I insisted, though part of me wanted to ask how much and I forced that part down into myself, deciding not to ask that question._

" _So are we ready to open these now? No matter what they hold?"_

 _I glanced at his letter, addressed to Arnold Shortman and to mine, Addressed to Helga Pataki and sighed before nodding my head. "Yeah," I said with a sigh, "I'm ready."_

 _Carefully, we ripped open our letters to reveal the paper folded inside with printing on it that told us all about our classes with an enclosed map of the layout of the school so we would be able to find where to go. I tossed the papers aside and held the paper with my schedule in front of me and stared at the words looking back at me._

 _TEAM: Red_

 _GYM CYCLE DAYS: 2, 4, 6_

 _MUSIC CYCLE DAYS: 1, 3, 5_

 _And then I skimmed through the rest of my classes before taking the paper and hiding it from Arnold by pressing it tightly to my chest._

" _You see your team?" I asked and he nodded his head._

" _Yeah, I did. And your cycle days for gym and choir?" He wondered as I swallowed hard._

" _Mmhm." I hummed. "Let's... let's say our teams at the same time and find out if we're on the same team, okay?"_

" _Are you sure that's how you want to do this, Helga?" He questioned and I frowned while crossing my arms, paper still in hand._

" _Well doi, I suggested it, didn't I?" I said with heavy sarcasm and Arnold took the hint while taking a deep breath and nodding his head._

" _Alright, we'll do it your way. On the count of three, okay?" He told me and I quickly nodded my head._

" _Yeah, on the count of three. One..."_

" _Two..."_

" _Three!" We both called out in unison before announcing our team names._

" _Red."_

" _Blue."_

 _I stared at him in shock as I heard what I'd been afraid of this entire time. Disbelieving him, I snatched the paper out of his hands. "Gimme that," I said while glancing over his paper._

 _TEAM: Blue_

 _GYM CYCLE DAYS: 1, 3, 5_

 _MUSIC CYCLE DAYS: 2, 4, 6_

 _I stared at the information on the paper for a long while before slowly setting the paper down and shaking my head; tears welling in my eyes. "We didn't even get GYM or CHOIR together for cripes sake..." I mumbled as Arnold took the paper back from me and folded it back up to return it into it's home of the envelope it came from._

" _Helga..." He quietly said while reaching out to touch my shoulder and squeeze it softly._

" _What?" I snapped back at him though he brushed it off and ignored my hostility towards him._

" _It's okay. You don't have to worry about not being able to see me," he encouraged, though I wasn't convinced._

" _And why's that? We don't have a SINGLE class together. You mean to tell me that we'll see each other in the HALLS and that will be ENOUGH?" I asked pointedly and he shook his head slowly giving me another answer all his own._

" _What about here? Have you forgotten about the world outside of school completely?" He asked and I frowned._

" _It's not the same..." I said while looking down at my lap and he nodded his head._

" _You're right... it's_ not _the same. But it_ is _something, isn't it?" He questioned me as I remained staring downward at my legs where I sat as he continued. "We'll always have my house to come back to and see each other at. Especially on tough days."_

" _We'll grow apart. We'll see less and less of each other and soon you won't even think about me or care about me at all." I insisted and Arnold smirked._

" _That's a little dramatic and exaggerated I think," he claimed, "I think that it will give us endless things to talk about. You'll be able to tell me about your day and I'll be able to tell you about my days. Besides, Helga," he went on, "What do you think adults do when they go off to work each day? They don't see each other all day but in the end they come home to each other and tell each other about their day. That's how they keep things interesting. I think having too many classes may be bad for us, even."_

" _Bad? How could it be_ bad _?" I countered and he shrugged his shoulders._

" _I don't know. Maybe because we'd be seeing too much of each other. We'd have the same stories to tell. We'd be experiencing all of the same things." He said and I frowned while turning to look at him._

" _That's what we've been doing for the passed 6 years in elementary school," I pointed out and he smiled a half smile._

" _And look what good that did for us, Helga. We only just got together now. You spent most of our time together picking on me instead of being the real you. Maybe middle school will give you the chance to find the real you and expand on it. Don't you think that would be good for you?" He asked me and I frowned knowing he had a point, but I wasn't ready to accept it._

 _Maybe middle school WOULD be good for me. Maybe not having classes with Arnold would give me a chance to explore the real Helga that lie within myself... the Helga that Arnold clearly saw that nobody else did because I never allowed them to. Maybe it was high time I DID allow them to see her and I let her out of her cage inside myself._

 _And maybe to do that... I couldn't have Arnold around me in every class. Or any class for that matter._

 _But only time would tell. I would give this schedule a try, but if it sucked and if I couldn't see Arnold during in-between times as much as he claimed I would, I was going to go to the counselor and ask to switch teams. I'd have to figure out a good enough excuse though, that's for sure, or they'd never let me switch my schedule._

 _That's a part of my plan I'd have to work on._

 _But for now, I'd let it be and trust Arnold the way he wants me to. After all... school was only a few weeks away now. There wasn't anything I could do at this very moment, at least. So I'd have to be patient. Patience- a virtue that I have yet to learn._

 _Oh well. I could handle being patient a little longer until school began. I'd have to be._

 _And until then, I had to figure out where the heck my classes were. The map they gave us was very confusing the way they'd laid it out and it would take me at least a few days to figure out just where everything was. Maybe I'd get lucky and run into Arnold during my venturing around the school to classes. Everything was pretty close together it seemed. But that didn't matter much, Arnold would find his way to me somehow. He usually did._

 _But I couldn't focus too much on this stupid schedule. I had to focus on Rhonda's upcoming beginning of the year party she was throwing this Friday. Arnold insisted on going so we could have our last hoorah as being mighty 6th graders. And our whole class was going before we had to start mingling with all the other kids our age from all the other schools joined our official 'class.' For all we knew, this would be the last time our little group would be together in the same place until our graduation._

 _Kinda sad, really. We've spent our lives growing up together and now all of that would be thrown down the tubes. Soon, we'd all have new friends and new people to hang out with and to add to our group of friends and even sooner yet, cliques would form the way they always do and badda bing badda boom, we'd be just like any other middle school class- separated by interests and no longer a family brought together by classroom like we'd always been._

 _Not that it mattered much to me. As long as I had Arnold and Phoebe in my life, I 'd be fine._

 _I just hoped that middle school didn't go changing all of that. There was so much up in the air now with middle school arriving as quickly as it was. It seemed like just yesterday I was 9 years old and still pining after Arnold from behind trash cans and smacking Brainy in the face for breathing over my shoulder._

 _Life was changing, that's for sure. And am I ready for it? Who knows._

 _Change is a-coming,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _The NERVE of Lila. The NERVE of RHONDA! The nerve of those two wicked girls who I wish I could rip their smug smiles right off their smug and horrible lips. How could they? How could Rhonda insist on something so horrendous? And how could Lila go along with it? Even though she protested, it doesn't take away the fact that she DID it! Ugh!_

 _I just got back from Rhonda's stupid party with Arnold. And what a freakin' party it was. Of course it was lavish like any lame party that Rhonda plans, filled with finger foods and punches of different variety for every kind of taste you could have, but it wasn't the food that has me so irritated._

 _It's Rhonda. And Lila. ESPECIALLY Lila. Why did she have to be there? Anybody, ANYBODY but stinkin' Lila!_

 _Okay, calm down, Helga. Explain so you can remember this and plan your revenge one day._

 _It was late in the party, around 9 o'clock. We had just finished watching a movie we shouldn't have been watching at our age without parental supervision (even though people do it all the time, I mean, c'mon, it isn't like Scream is all that bad anyway. Chump change if you ask me.) and Rhonda had the brilliant idea of playing some party games to liven up her party._

" _Alright everybody," Rhonda announced with a clap of her hands as soon as she took the DVD out of the player and put it back into it's case. "How about something fun. Something... scandalous."_

 _The group of kids glanced around at each other in curiosity as Arnold and I exchanged a look._

" _What do you mean by 'scandalous,' Rhonda?" Eugene asked and Rhonda took an empty yahoo soda bottle off of a nearby table and waved it around with a sly smile on her face._

" _How about a game of 'spin the bottle?'" She suggested as the crew of kids all murmured their disinterest in the idea. "Oh c'mon, it'll be fun. Unless you're all too scared of a little game."_

" _We ain't scared," Stinky piped up._

" _Yeah," Sid said, "It's just... kissing is..."_

" _Gross," Harold finished for him and Rhonda merely laughed a light chuckle and shook her head._

" _Boys, boys, boys," she scolded in a soothing tone while approaching them with her bottle; tapping it on her perfectly manicured hand, "You'll have to change your tune if you're going to go into middle school, don't you think? I mean, how will you ever have girlfriends if you don't expect to kiss them? It's all part of growing up."_

 _She then went up to Harold and sat down beside him and stroked his chin briefly before saying, "And besides, wouldn't you like a little... experience... before you go off into middle school? And what better way then to play spin the bottle? The best kissing game known to man?"_

 _The group fell silent as Rhonda looked around at everyone that she had single handedly convinced of her ploy to play her kissing game. With another look around the room, she stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "Well?" She asked. "What are you waiting for? Get into a circle already and let's play the game!"_

 _Hesitantly, the group adjusted to get into a circle as Rhonda placed the bottle in the center with a smile on her face, clearly happy that her plan had worked in getting everyone to play her little game. But I felt scared. I didn't want to go kissing anybody other than Arnold and from the look on Arnold's face, it seemed that he felt the same way. And poor Pheebs and Gerald, they were clearly sweating the game too. The four of us were already happy in our relationships and wanted out of this little game. Maybe that's why Rhonda had called this so scandalous._

 _But Arnold was on it. He quickly stood up, grabbing my hand and gestured with his head for Phoebe and Gerald to do the same. Just as we did so, Rhonda raised her brow and spoke up. "And just where do you think you four are going?"_

 _Arnold cleared his throat before speaking. "We just don't think this game is suited for us. We're going to head out for the night, but thanks for a great party, Rhonda-"_

" _Oh no, no, no," She said defiantly, "that's what will make this game...interesting. Besides, it's just a little kissing. It won't_ mean _anything."_

" _But it isn't something we're interested in, Rhonda," Phoebe squeaked out, "The premise of it is simply preposterous if one is in a relationship already."_

" _Oh don't be such a party pooper, Phoebe. Just stay. Please? It won't be any fun without you four. I'll only make you guys go once. Okay? Just one round and then we'll play something much_ more _fun." she promised and we all exchanged a look before sighing and returning to our seats. Why you ask? I have no idea what compelled us to sit back down. We should have just left. But we figured what were the chances we would land on someone else?_

 _Looking back now, that was a stupid thought. There were at least twenty people there so of COURSE the chances were against us of landing on our actual significant others. But everyone was staring at us and we just gave into the peer pressure of sitting back down and joining the group._

 _Stupid. Stupid, stupid, STUPID._

" _Alright," Rhonda said while taking her seat in the circle,"the rules of the game are simple. We go clockwise around the circle taking turns spinning the bottle. Whomever the neck of the bottle lands on, you have to kiss. And that's that. As the host of this amazing party,_ I'll _go first."_

 _And that's how it all began. One by one, the people of the circle reached inside to spin the bottle and continued with the rules of the game by kissing those who the bottle landed on. It was awkward, weird, and completely uncomfortable. Especially when Curly landed on Eugene and everyone laughed but they kissed anyway, surprising us all. Then came my turn and I spun hoping to land on Arnold and, with luck on my side, I did. A bunch of boos let out as I leaned over to kiss Arnold, a smile on my lips at succeeding in getting through the first and only round of this game._

 _Then it was time for Arnold's turn. The second leg of the nightmare that was spin the bottle. I watched as the bottle spun and spun on the marble floor, my heart racing at each round it made passing me by. Suddenly, it began to slow and I leaned in in anticipation at who it would land on._

" _C'mon, c'mon, c'mon..." I mumbled, my hands in fists as they rested on my legs where I sat cross-legged on the floor._

Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin...stop

 _I stared with my mouth wide open at where the neck laid pointed at none other than Lila who's mouth was also ajar at the outcome of the bottle's spinning. She struggled for words as both parties remained in place where they sat._

" _I...I..." She struggled while shaking her head; her braids moving to and fro with her head, "I'm ever so certain I don't feel comfortable kissing Arnold, Rhonda."_

" _Well tough luck," Rhonda said without any sort of sympathy, "the bottle has spoken. You and Arnold have to kiss. It doesn't have to be long or anything. Just a little peck."_

" _I don't know..." Lila said, "It just feels wrong."_

" _I agree," Arnold spoke up. "I don't feel comfortable with this, Rhonda. I don't think it's fair that you make us do something we aren't comfortable doing."_

" _It's just the rules, I didn't make them!" She said defensively. "Don't hate the player, hate the game."_

" _This is stupid," I grumbled. "C'mon, Arnold. Let's leave."_

 _Rhonda stood up as I stood up and pointed in my direction. "You leave and you will NEVER be invited to another Wellington Lloyd event for the rest of your days."_

 _I stared at Arnold who stared back at me with pain in his eyes. He didn't want to do this but we knew that we didn't want to be exiled from her parties for the rest of our lives over some stupid little kiss. So with a deep breath, Arnold leaned in the circle to meet Lila who was visibly unhappy and she pecked his lips which instantly made my blood boil underneath my skin._

 _I wasn't mad at Arnold. WE had no choice. We were going to be excluded for life if we left. But Lila could have refused with us. SHE'S the one who pecked HIS lips. He didn't do the kissing, SHE did. The whole thing was utterly ridiculous and it made me angry to see it happen before my very own eyes. All my biggest fears from my childhood played out before me for myself to actually see instead of just see in my nightmares._

 _But the game continued on and Gerald and Phoebe had to suffer with us, both of them having to kiss others that weren't their partners so I guess I wasn't the only one who had to suffer. I just wondered how they were handling it. But THEY didn't have to watch their arch nemesis kiss the love of their life._

 _Then it got around to Lila's turn and she hesitantly reached out to spin the bottle only to land on none other than, you guessed it, Arnold._

" _Oh! What are the odds?" Rhonda called out with a clap of her hands and Arnold flat out refused this time._

" _No. I'm not doing it this time. I've had enough of this game, Rhonda." He said with slight anger in his voice, something nobody was used to hearing coming from Arnold._

" _It's alright, Arnold," Lila coaxed, "Then it will be over."_

" _I thought you were against all of this?" He asked with a furrowed brow and she nodded her head._

" _I am. I am just ever so much. Only, it's the rules of the game and I'm afraid that Rhonda will... well..."_

" _Rhonda will what?" Rhonda asked with acidity in her tone and Arnold sighed while taking my hand in his and leaning in across the circle towards Lila so she could peck his lips AGAIN._

 _I knew he didn't want to do this. The way that he held my hand and squeezed it told me so but Lila. LILA. She didn't have to do what she was doing. CLEARLY she enjoyed kissing him and right in front of me too. I wanted to thump her. I wanted to do MORE than thump her. But thankfully Lila was the last of the circle and the game was over._

" _That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Rhonda asked though I had a few choice words for her question._

" _That bad? THAT BAD?" I said while standing up from the circle to confront her. "You made us cheat on our significant others just for your own amusement. I'd say yeah, it WAS that bad."_

" _Oh Helga, you may be angry at me now, but all will be rewarded in our next game." She promised while gesturing for Arnold to stand with me and walked us to a nearby closet._

" _A closet?" I asked and she smiled wildly at me while wrapping her arms around the two of us as the others stood up from the circle to follow us over to where Rhonda had brought us._

" _Not just any closet. The closet where our next game will be held," she explained._

" _And what on earth is that?" I wondered and she grinned while opening the door._

" _Seven minutes in heaven and you two, my dear friends, are the first of us that will take part. You know the rules?" She asked and we shook our heads as she nodded her head and began to explain._

" _See, you two go in the closet for seven minutes. We'll time you. And whatever goes on in that closet stays in the closet. So anything goes, lovebirds." She finished with a wink before shoving us into the dark closet and shutting the door on us._

 _A few seconds after our eyes adjusted to the darkness, the door opened again to reveal Rhonda who then said, "And no lights!" before she shut the door again to leave the two of us in the closet to do whatever we wanted, make-out is what they all assumed, I guessed._

 _I stared into the darkness where Arnold stood ahead of me and sighed as he began to talk quickly._

" _I didn't want to kiss Lila, Helga." He began to speak. "You have to believe me. I really,_ really _didn't want to."_

" _I know," I answered softly._

" _I have no feelings for her anymore. That part of my life is over. I'm completely over her. The only person I feel that way for is you now." he went on and I nodded my head._

" _I know."_

" _Helga..." He said while fumbling around the closet to find my cheek and brush his fingers against it making the nerves in my skin go wild._

" _Yeah?"_

" _Can I... can I tell you something I've never told you before?" He asked and I nodded my head though he couldn't see._

" _S-sure," I told him so he knew I was listening._

" _I think that... well... I think that I love you." he told me and my eyes widened at his words._

 _He was right, he'd never told me that before. And honestly, I didn't think he'd tell me that for quite a while. But after what we'd just been through with Lila, maybe he felt like he had to tell me his feelings even if he wasn't entirely sure of them just yet._

" _You know," I said, "You don't have to tell me if you aren't sure yet. I understand. Love is a loaded word."_

" _I know, but I thought you should know that my feelings for you are more than just a casual crush. I might not be sure entirely of what they are yet, but I think that that's what I'm feeling." He explained and I smiled in the darkness and reached blindly for his hand._

" _Oh Arnold," I spoke while squeezing his hand. "You know I love you. You have for a long time now. And I'll wait for you to catch up to me. I'd wait a lifetime."_

 _I think he smiled as his words came out. "I know you will."_

" _Can I ask something of you?" I wondered aloud._

" _Sure. What?"_

" _Can we... can WE kiss now? I just... I just keep picturing you and Lila kissing and it's driving me mad. It's making me think back to all the times I saw you with her and all the feelings you once had of her and all that jealousy I once had that I thought was gone... it's all coming back and I just want it to go away." I explained and Arnold chuckled while pulling me close to him._

" _Of course we can kiss. I have no qualms against that."_

 _I couldn't help but laugh at his use of the word before our lips touched and we kissed in the dark closet among the coats and other Wellington Lloyd items._

 _If everything else hadn't happened with Lila, I suppose it would be romantic but even as we kissed my mind was still roaming on the thoughts and images of Lila and Arnold's lips pressed together across the circle of my friends._

 _Ugh. The jealousy has returned even though Arnold is with me. How is that even possible?_

 _Lost in Emotion,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_


	22. Entry 15

_Well, school has officially started and that means that life has changed significantly since we've last talked._

 _We've finally moved back into the house thanks to Miriam. I came home from the first day of school to boxes everywhere but an actual bed to sleep in for the first time in months. I must say, you forget how nice it is to have a bed until you're forced to sleep in a sleeping bag on the cold ground for months on end. Olga called, and she's happy to know that I'm back in a stable environment. It's funny. I can't stand the girl but she really does care about me. I wonder if I'll ever wise up and cut the girl some slack._

 _As for school, getting around the place isn't too hard. My locker is sort of smack dab in the middle of the 7th grade area which is located downstairs and to the right of the long hallway that divides us from the 8th grade territory. All of our classes are in a round in the perimeter of the lockers which sit in the center of the space made just for us and there must be at least a dozen different teachers per class which makes finding your classes a little difficult at first, but once you get the routine down it isn't that hard. Go here, go there, find the shortcut to there, run upstairs and book it to gym or choir, then run back downstairs and make it in time for math. It isn't that hard and you find that five minutes is plenty of time to get to and from class to class and still see most of the people you want to see._

 _Like Arnold._

 _But five minutes is never enough time with him._

 _Especially when you have no classes with him except for lunch period and you aren't even on the same team and you know, full well, that a certain little miss perfect IS._

 _That's right. Lila Sawyer just so happens to be on Arnold's team. And she has three classes with him. Three! English, Math and Social Studies._

 _How do I know this? Well, Arnold let it slip that they were in English together and as for Math I just so happened to be in the hallway one day going to the bathroom and spotted them through the window of the door to the classroom. And social studies I figured out through Stinky who was bragging about having a class with Lila (he won't let his crush on her die) and he let it out that he shared the class with Arnold too._

 _So THAT'S just perfect. I get to know that Arnold is sharing quality time with Lila that he doesn't get to share with me. He always assures me that he doesn't care for her like that anymore, but my jealousy doesn't see it like that. My jealousy tells me that I'm a fool not to see that Lila will swoop him up in an instant and take him away from me like she did before. Maybe I'm being crazy, but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something will happen to us if I'm not careful._

 _And today, I felt like my feelings proved me right._

 _Today, Arnold told me that he had to miss our usual hangout night to work on an english project with little miss Lila._

" _Wait...Lila? As in...LILA Lila?" I repeated into the receiver from back inside my home where we'd finally moved back into thanks to mom and her negotiating skills._

" _Yeah. Trust me, she wasn't my first choice," he tried to convince me but I knew better. Ever since their kisses at Rhonda's place everything felt funky and I knew something had to be up. I could just picture him going right to her and asking her to be his partner. The whole thing made me sick._

 _But I had to play along. I couldn't let on that I knew anything because Arnold was sure to get angry with me if he knew just how jealous I really was. I had to prove to him that I trusted him, which I did, in a sense. It was Lila that I didn't trust. "So what's the project on?" I asked him and he sighed from over the phone._

" _Of Mice and Men. We're supposed to read the book in the week and do a report on it with a partner on the themes and stuff and then present it to the class." He explained and I nodded my head though he couldn't see me._

" _Ahh," I said, completely uninterested with the ins and outs of his actual assignment. There were so many other questions roaming around in my head. Who was his ACTUAL first choice if not for Lila? Was it another girl? Someone I didn't know? Did I have competition I didn't even know about? And if I did, what would I do about it? How could I thwart them before they ruined everything between us?_

" _Helga? Are you still there?" Arnold said and I quickly shook my head to return to reality and cleared my throat._

" _Er, yeah. Yeah, I'm still here. Sorry. Just zoned out there for a bit. What did you say?" I asked and he was quick to repeat himself._

" _I asked if you wanted to get together tomorrow night instead. I know it isn't family dinner night, but I'd love to have you over."_

 _I couldn't help but smile at his kind offer and agreed. "Sure football-head. Tomorrow sounds great."_

 _But I know I won't be able to sleep tonight knowing that Arnold is spending the whole night with_ Li _la. It's just going to drive me bonkers imagining them laughing and giggling and spending all that time together without me there to protect him from her seductive ways. If seductive is even a word for what you call what Lila does. She's just so... charismatic or whatever. She gets guys to fawn all over her somehow and I'll never understand how. Sure she's nice and pretty and popular but who cares? I could be all those things too if I really WANTED to be but I DON'T so I'm NOT. I mean, I'm the sister of Olga freakin' Pataki, here. If it's ANYONE who could be the most popular, prettiest girl in the grade, it definitely could be me if I really wanted to have such a stupid title._

 _Anyway, I'd better get to work on my own homework. We're working on Of Mice and Men too, but we don't have to do partner work or anything for it. Just some packet thing we have to fill out after reading the book. Nothing too hard. My english teacher is pretty laid back and doesn't seem to take the class too seriously which is kind of a bummer considering english is my favorite subject. I'd really hoped for a teacher like Arnold has with a reputation for pushing their kids to their highest capabilities._

 _Oh well. The option of switching teams is still out there, I just have to talk to the school counselor if I decide, but I'm not ready to give up just yet. I still want to give Arnold his freedom and trust him the way I know I can if I just allow myself to. Though this partner thing isn't helping anything. I tell ya, the second school life starts to interfere with our outside life, that's when I demand to switch teams though, because that's one thing I'm NOT about to let change. I LOVE being able to have Arnold to myself in the off time from school and I'm not about to let middle school change that._

 _Here's hoping some stupid team doesn't ruin that,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Life is getting hard at school._

 _Those five minute windows I see Arnold less and less and instead see him talking to new people more and more. Granted, their usually more new guys from his classes but on the rare occasion I see him talking to new girls who are far prettier than I am and much funnier and classier than I am and it makes my blood start to boil._

 _Who is he to think that I won't find out? And more yet, that it won't bother me? I mean sure, maybe the green monster of jealousy is coming out and I'm just being utterly ridiculous, but what if I'm NOT? What if he finds someone in his new classes that is more charming and more charismatic and more... EVERYTHING that I'm not, huh? What if she's perfect in every way and he leaves me hanging out to dry?_

 _I can't do this other team thing. You know what I found out today? I found out that teams get to go on field trips to the local water park and stuff like COOL stuff but ONLY with their teams. AKA I get to miss out on those cool field trips with Arnold because I'm stuck on a different team. Definitely not okay with me._

 _I mean, Arnold and I have been TRYING to make this whole thing work. I've been going to his place after school and seeing him and, believe it or not, he's actually come to my place a couple of times (even though we stayed in my room the entire time) and things have being going well, all things considered. But it just isn't ENOUGH for me. I spend all day in class THINKING about him and all the things he's doing in his other classes while I'm not there and it just drives me up a wall._

 _Also, did I mention that my english teacher hates me? Like HATES me hates me. For some odd reason, he thinks I'm trying to suck up and he is practically punishing me for it. I swear that's why he gave me a B on my short story. Even though I'm, and have proven, to be the best writer in the entire grade. At least from PS118. I heard Arnold's english teacher is the coolest teacher out there and I'm dying to get into his class. Maybe I can lead to that when I talk to the counselor about switching teams._

 _Because I AM switching teams. I've decided it right here and now because I just can't HANDLE it anymore. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe I'm being absurd but frankly, I don't really give a hoot. If Arnold and I are going to make it through the first leg of middle school, something has to be done and a sacrifice is in order. And since HE isn't willing to switch to my team because he has faith in us and blah blah blah and all that other mumbo jumbo he goes on about, it's just going to have to be me who makes the leap and switches teams. For our sake._

 _I'll let you know how my conversation with the counselor goes tomorrow._

 _Ready to get what I want,_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _Well, I did it. I talked to the school counselor with... alright results._

 _Let me explain._

 _So I walk into the office during lunch hour, the only chance I have to have a decent conversation with the lady- Mrs. Christensen –who is in charge of the seventh grade class. I walked up to the reception desk at the front of the office and tapped my nails on the counter quietly until the woman on the phone hung up and glanced over at me._

" _Can I help you?" She asked me and I cleared my throat before responding._

" _Yeah, uh, I'd like to talk to Mrs. Christensen. About my uh... my schedule." I told her and the woman nodded her head while filling out a slip and handing it over to me._

" _She'll call for you during one of your classes over the loudspeaker. She's out for lunch right now." She said while handing the yellow slip of paper into my hands._

 _I glanced down at the paper reading_ 1:35pm, Mrs. Christensen _and nodded my head while folding the slip up into a tiny square and setting it to reside in the inside of my dress where I usually hid my locket. "Uh... thanks," I said with a forced smile and the receptionist nodded back to me while typing away at her computer._

 _So I went back to lunch feeling a little disappointed and agitated that I couldn't work out my new school schedule with the big head honcho but still relieved that by the end of the day things would be worked out._

 _1:35. I just had to wait until 1:35. That wouldn't be so hard, now would it?_

 _Think again, Helga._

 _I found myself staring at the clock, waiting in wicked anticipation for the clock to hit the appropriate numbers on its face for my name to ring out over the loudspeakers to call me in for my meeting with Mrs. Christensen. Finally, at around 1:37, (yes, I knew the exact time it happened) static came through from the speakers along with the announcement I'd been waiting for._

" _Would Helga Pataki please come to the office? Helga Pataki, please come to the office."_

 _Practically jumping out of my seat, I moved to exit my Science class and run down the halls (inconspicuously so as nobody saw me to write me up for detention for something as dumb as running in the hallway) to make it to the office and enter the doors huffing and puffing, all while trying to keep my composure in preparation to meet Mrs. Christensen and plead my case._

" _Hi," I said to the receptionist who was different than the one I'd met earlier in the day. "I'm Helga Pataki." I introduced myself and the woman reached up to point to her side where a few chairs sat and she began speaking with a fake smile plastered on her lips._

" _You can wait over there. Mrs. Christensen will be right out to see you."_

 _I smiled an equally fake smile back at her and walked over to the selection of chairs and took a seat, going through my case in my head as I waited._

Now remember Helga, _I told myself,_ you are frustrated with your english teacher and you'd like to have Mr. Linders and your teacher instead. Which means you'd have to switch teams. Stick with the switching teams. No matter WHAT she offers you, you HAVE to switch teams. Got it?

" _Ms. Pataki?" A voice called out for me and I raised my head to see a tall woman standing outside of a door with a genuine smile on her face. "I'm Mrs. Christensen. Why don't you come on in." She offered while gesturing for me to follow her, and I did, right into her office where we took a seat facing each other with her desk separating herself and I._

 _I looked around the room, its decorations making the room feel soothing and calming to be in. There was a mirror that looked like a window with curtains covering it to make it feel even more homier. There were little figurines on shelves all around the room, mostly Buddhas of different colors and sizes. She had a small bonsai tree sitting next to her computer and on the other side of her computer was an oil diffuser with the scent of peppermint filling the room. I felt at home here, somehow. And as I looked around the room, I found that I got lost in taking in everything that surrounded me before Mrs. Christensen tore me from my thoughts._

" _So Ms. Pataki-" She said and I shook my head while holding a hand out to stop her._

" _Call me Helga," I told her and she smiled while nodding her head and taking in the information._

" _Helga," she replaced, "What is it that I can do for you?" She asked and I took a deep breath knowing this was my moment._

" _Well," I started, "It's about my schedule. I'm... well to be honest. I'm not happy with it."_

 _This made her frown and furrow her brow. "What is it that makes you so unhappy?"_

" _Well there's a few things but the biggest thing is my english teacher, Mr. Flem. He just... well I don't think he likes me very much. He doesn't take my work seriously and he doesn't push our class, or me, hard enough. I feel like I'm floating in that class. Like it's a breeze and I'm not even working my brain or thinking outside of the box."_

" _Ahh," She said while pulling up something on the screen of her computer. "So you want to switch english classes then? Is there a teacher you have in mind?" She asked and I grinned knowing just what I wanted to say._

" _I was really hoping to be transferred into Mr. Linders' classroom. I hear nothing but good things about his class and how he really pushes his students to think outside their comfort zone which is something I need. See, I want to be a writer when I graduate. And I need a teacher who takes me seriously and who takes my work seriously." I explained and Mrs. Christensen nodded her head while clicking on a few things and typing a bit after that._

" _Completely understandable. Well, it looks like I can move you into his classroom fourth hour and just replace the two hours without having to switch your teams. How does that work for you?" She asked and I immediately shook my head without thinking of a reason as to why._

" _That doesn't work? Is there another problem?" She asked and I swallowed hard trying to think of something even though my mouth just blurted out the real issue._

" _I really don't like my team." I said bluntly and she peeked out from behind her computer to give me an odd look._

" _You don't like your team?" She asked and I nodded my head._

" _You see... um... it's just that... well... so many of my friends are on the BLUE team. And while I know that middle school is all about widening your horizons and making new friends, I just think that, well, I would feel more... COMFORTABLE on a team with a few more people that I'm familiar with." I tried and she nodded her head as if understanding where I was coming from._

" _I see," She said slowly while clicking away at her computer before typing again and printing something out. "Well, what I can do is I can switch you to the blue team, but it would alter all your classes so you'd have to memorize an entirely new schedule. Are you sure you're up to that?"_

 _I grinned and nodded my head quickly. "Definitely," I said immediately before adding in for good measure, "As long as I have Mr. Linders."_

 _Mrs. Christensen chuckled, "Of course," she told me, "He's a blue team teacher so you'll have him regardless."_

" _Oh good." I said before Mrs. Christensen presented me with the piece of paper she had printed and she pulled a pen out from her holder._

" _Okay," she began before circling a few things on the paper. "Your new cycle days for gym and choir are the opposite from what they were so you'll have new classmates for that. And that will be your first hour, now."_

Yes! I'll have gym and choir with Arnold now! _I thought as she continued down the line._

" _Your second hour will be Algebra, followed by Wellness, then English and Lunch, of course. Then you'll have Science, Social Studies and finally Woodshop." She told me while pointing to each one on the paper and I raised my brow at the last class she mentioned._

" _Woodshop? When was THAT a class? I was taking Theater before that." I told her and she nodded her head._

" _Woodshop and Theater are opposite of each other. They are the first two classes you get to experience before your electives class in eighth grade. But you'll learn all about that next year." She told me and I swallowed hard while glancing over the classes again trying to remember Arnold's schedule._

 _These were all wrong. According to Arnold's schedule, I'd only have Gym/Choir, English, Algebra and with him. I had to have more. I had to have them all._

 _So taking a limb, I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Can we... can we switch wellness and social studies?" I asked her and she raised a brow._

" _And why would you want to do that?" She replied and I took a quick breath._

" _Be-because... uh... well... the Wellness classroom is so much closer to the woodshop classroom and it'll just make my life so much easier."_

 _Mrs. Christensen sighed before clicking away at her computer and printing another sheet of paper and quickly pulling it over to set in front of me._

" _How about this? IT's the only way I could fit you in." She said and I glanced down at the schedule she'd arranged for me._

HOUR1: GYM/CHOIR – _with Arnold_

HOUR2: ALGEBRA – _with Arnold_

HOUR3: SOCIAL STUDIES

HOUR4: ENGLISH – _with Arnold_

LUNCH

HOUR5: SCIENCE

HOUR6: WELLNESS - _with Arnold_

HOUR7: WOODSHOP

 _I nodded my head while looking over the classes before pointing to woodshop and tapping my finger on the paper. "Is there any way I could switch science and woodshop?" I asked but Mrs. Christensen was already shaking her head from where she sat._

" _Uh uh uh," she said, "No more changes. You've already been able to handpick your entire schedule at this point. And I'm pretty sure I know why."_

 _I leaned back and crossed my arms while raising a brow. "OH yeah?" I asked. "And why's that?"_

" _You're the one dating that Arnold Shortman, correct?"_

 _I swallowed hard. "Wh-what?" I asked, bewildered and she grinned while nodding her head._

" _I take the time to be interested in my students' lives," she explained, "and it comes in handy in situations like these. Now look. I know that you really want to have all your classes with Arnold, but at some point, you won't be able to and you'll need to branch out to let your relationship breathe." She told me and I widened my eyes slightly as she continued to talk. "Now I'll let you have this semester, but come next semester, I may not be so willing to switch all your classes to match his. It isn't something we typically do. But you're new to the school and I get that having a relationship and coming here can be hard. So I try to bend with the times. I'm a cool teacher. Or at least I try to be."_

 _I sighed, offering her a small smile._

" _Yeah, yeah, you're pretty cool, Mrs. C." I told her and she smiled while patting her hands on the desk towards me._

" _Now off you go. You can start your new schedule tomorrow."_

 _So tomorrow is the day! Tomorrow I get to start my new schedule and be in classes with Arnold again! I suppose some is better than none. I can't WAIT to see the look on Arnold's face when I show up in his gym class first hour tomorrow!_

 _Cheers to a new day!_

 _Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

 _So Arnold wasn't very thrilled to see me today and I'm still not entirely sure why._

 _I stayed away from telling him about my little switch-a-roo last night in order to surprise him today first hour but his face was far from surprised and looked much more along the lines of confused._

" _Helga?" He asked as he stood in his gym clothes and I stood in mine walking in and grinning in his direction._

" _That'd be me." I said proudly and he raised his brow._

" _What are... why are you here? You aren't in this class..." he said and I shook my head with my grin still displaying on my face._

" _Was. I WASN'T in this class. But... after a little chat with Mrs. Christensen yesterday, I had a few changes made to my schedule." I explained and Arnold crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes in my direction._

" _Helga, you didn't." He said flatly and I frowned._

" _What's so wrong with that? I don't get why you aren't happy that I'm here." I stated while dropping my arms to my sides._

 _Arnold sighed and took a step towards me. "It isn't that I'm not happy to see you Helga, I am, it's... it's more than that. It's the fact that you-"_

 _But just as he was about to explain it to me, our teacher blew the whistle and class began with running laps around the gymnasium. A wonderful start to my wonderful day. Note the heavy sarcasm._

 _Next came Algebra which I graced Arnold's presence with, this time with a bit more hesitation while entering the classroom. I was beginning to rethink the whole switching teams idea, but it was too late to switch back so I had to grin and bare it._

 _I walked into the classroom and Arnold's eyes immediately gravitated towards me. He sighed. "Helga. You switched entire teams, didn't you?" He asked me while getting up from his desk and I frowned._

" _Yeah. What's so bad about that?"_

" _I thought maybe you just switched gym cycle days since you already had it first period." He explained and I shook my head._

" _No," I said while deciding to use my excuse from Mrs. Christensen on Arnold and hoped that it would stick. "I switched teams to get Mr. Linders as a teacher for English. My other teacher just wasn't cutting it for me."_

" _Uh huh," Arnold deadpanned, unconvinced, "and that just so happens to be the case when you were complaining about not having any classes with me, huh?" He pressed and I sighed realizing the jig was up._

" _Alright, fine, MAYBE it was because I wanted to have some classes with you but Arnold, you don't GET it. I was going CRAZY! I hardly SEE you anymore!" I exclaimed and Arnold laughed humorlessly and shook his head._

" _You know Helga, I think that you have to take a long hard look at yourself before you just go and do things. Did you even think to take into account how this might come across to me? The whole switching teams thing?" He quizzed me and I shook my head, confused as to where he was going with this._

" _I guess I thought you would be happy to have classes with me," I said quietly before folding my arms and furrowing my brow into a tight line. "But I guess not, huh."_

" _Once again, it isn't that, Helga. You aren't seeing how this comes across to me. It's the fact that, to me, this looks like you really don't-"_

" _Okay class, time to turn to page 34 in our textbooks and you must be a transfer, Miss Pataki I presume?" The teacher asked me and I sighed, nodding my head._

 _Thwarted again._

 _It seemed to be the case the entire day._

 _Every time Arnold was about to finally tell me just how it appeared to him, the whole me switching teams thing, SOMEBODY got in the dang way and I never got to learn about what the deal was with Arnold. It was like the world was trying to stick its nose in the middle of my business and even when lunch rolled around, Arnold and I couldn't find two spots in the cafeteria together because we got there late from english and thus, we didn't even get to SIT together for cripes sake._

 _I'd have to make note to make sure we get to the lunch room a little earlier next time._

 _Anyway, I'm not going to Arnold's house tonight. I figure as much as I WANT to know what's going on in Arnold's weirdly-shaped brain, he must still need some more time to process the whole me coming into his classes deal and maybe he'll let up on me and see why I switched to begin with. He keeps going on about how I don't see it through his eyes, but I don't think he's seeing it through mine either._

 _Boys are weird._

 _Helga G. Pataki_


	23. The Note-Passing Game

Helga woke up from her warm, cozy bed and reached over to turn off her alarm clock with a heavy sigh. _Another day,_ she told herself as she pushed herself up from her laying position and sat up to look around her room that she'd somehow missed when she'd lived in the emporium. It was nice to be back in her old room; in familiar territory.

It'd been a few weeks since she had switched her schedule and things were going alright with Arnold. He'd forgiven her, as he always did, for switching teams in school, yet he never had explained why it was that it had made him so angry in the first place and for some reason, this bothered Helga relentlessly.

So Helga had devised a plan, not a very good one, but a plan nonetheless. Seeing as Arnold wouldn't talk to her in person about his emotions on the matter, she figured he might be willing to discuss such issues via notes they would pass in between classes because even though she was in his classes now, she was discovering that it wasn't helping all that much in their way of communication and seeing each other. Each day was still filled with school and assignments and partner projects they never seemed to be paired up for. It drove her mad. She was always forced to see him partnered with other pretty girls that she envied for various reasons and it only made her nervous that she was losing him slowly but surely. There was something she had to do and she found that note-passing had to be the solution to their problems.

After all, what did she have to lose?

Helga made it to school at her usual time, 7:15, just twenty minutes before first period began. This was the time of the day, other than lunch, that she was able to see the most of Arnold and a smile spread across her face when she met him in the foyer; his face lighting up when he met eyes with hers.

"Hey Helga," He greeted her as she approached him and she grinned at him as she made her way towards where he was standing with Phoebe and Gerald.

"Hey there football-head, what's shakin'?" she said and Arnold chuckled while shrugging his shoulders.

"We were just talking about Mr. Linders' assignment about the white book. Have you decided what you're going to put in yours?" He asked and Helga sighed.

The white book was an odd assignment but one that she had found fascinating in comparison to her last evil english teacher who had no imagination whatsoever. Mr. Linders had passed around plain white books to each of his students and instructed everyone to decorate them to their liking and put in them whatever they desired, but to be wary as some of the things they put in there would be presented to the class on random days. Helga just figured she'd use it as another poetry book, but that seemed to be such a waste as she had so many of those already. She wanted to do something different, something intriguing, something worth reading aloud to the class. Her ideas swarmed her head on what she could write, but for now she'd just doodled on the cover with various swirls and designs that came to her head in the middle of class when she should be paying attention.

Helga raised her shoulders and soon dropped them, exasperated. "I have no clue," she responded, "I thought maybe a story or something? I wanna be creative with it, something that will blow everyone away." She told her friends and they all smiled while Arnold reached over to take her hand in his.

"I'm sure whatever you write in there it will be amazing," He encouraged and Helga felt a heavy blush rise to her cheeks as he spoke.

"Yeah, yeah," she said with a roll of her eyes, "you HAVE to say that. You're my boyfriend."

"That I am," he said with a grin, "but believe me when I say I'm not just saying that. You're the best writer in the class. I'd be scared for anyone that tried to take you on when it comes to writing."

It was true. Helga had proved her skills on many occasions, the latest being the young writer's conference. She was known for her great writing and creative brain which mildly scared her because it was a lot to live up to. If she wasn't living in her sister's shadow, she was living in her own and it brought stress on her shoulders to know that no matter what she did, she'd never be out of the dark and in the light of a stress-free environment. Why couldn't she just be normal? Why couldn't she just blend in into the background? But then again, what kind of life would that be, to be 'normal?' Is that what she really wanted? A life free of her gifts that she'd been gratefully given?

"Ha," Helga laughed, "yeah I'd like to see somebody try," she said with false confidence. "I wonder who else around here has the writing skills that I have."

"Who knows," Gerald said while smirking to himself, "If it's one thing you've got going for ya, Pataki, it's those writing chops, I'll give you that."

"Gee, thanks, Geraldo," She retorted with heavy sarcasm and he winked at her to let her know he was serious, which she knew. Gerald may sort of hate her, but they had an understanding that had taken until San Lorenzo to really understand the full potential of. Ever since he'd witnessed the first ever real kiss between her and Arnold, Gerald and Helga's relationship had grown in a way of understanding that they would have to put up with each other if it was ever going to work between Helga and Arnold. And Gerald wanted it to work, she knew that. He just wanted his best friend to be happy and if it was one thing that Helga did, it was just that- she made him happy.

That was one thing she had to remember. Especially with her growing jealousy as of late. She made Arnold happy in ways that nobody else did. Not pretty Courtney from Algebra or popular Jessica from English or the ever-threatening Lila from Wellness and English AND stupid Gym/Choir; not to mention the fact that she knew she also shared Social Studies and Science with Arnold- two places Helga couldn't keep her eye on the two of them and what they did or how they interacted with each other.

It seemed that no matter where she went or what she did, she couldn't shake Lila or the envy that she brought with her when it came to Arnold. She needed her out of her life, she WANTED her out of her life but there just wasn't getting around Miss Sawyer. Ever since that stupid party at Rhonda's, Helga couldn't get the kiss that her boyfriend and Lila shared in front of her very own eyes. It haunted her day and night and she couldn't help but wonder if Lila thought of it fondly in her waking moments.

But she had to shake it. The day was just starting and it was a fresh new start to the week- Monday. She'd spent all weekend with Arnold and his family, playing games and going out to the botanical gardens to look at various flowers and have a picnic. It was a great time and she cherished every moment she spent with the Shortmans, especially their wonderful son who she adored. It was a new day and a new week and Helga was determined for it to be good.

As Arnold and Helga made their way to the locker rooms for gym, Helga decided to bring up her plan in the note-passing department to test the waters and see what he thought of it. They held hands as they walked in silence, both content to be, and Helga chewing her lip before she decided to speak.

"So..." she began, "I've been thinking."

"Oh?" Arnold asked and Helga nodded her head.

"I just thought, since we don't get much time to talk to each other during class or in between class and stuff, and since there's classes we don't share..." she went on while swallowing hard, "I thought maybe we could give each other notes and stuff just updating each other on what goes on in class and whatnot."

Arnold turned his head to look at her and raised his brow. "You want to pass notes? In between classes?"

She shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head. "Well, yeah. I thought it could be, well, I don't know, fun."

Arnold thought about this for a while, mulling the words over in his head before deciding on his answer. "Yeah," he said, "We could do that. Especially during classes we don't share. That'd be kind of cool."

"Exactly! That's what I thought," Helga said and Arnold smiled at her while squeezing her hand as they approached the locker rooms on opposite ends of the hallway.

"Well, don't expect a note from this class," he said with a wink and Helga rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting one unless you plan to write while running laps." She joked and he laughed.

"That'd be a sight to see, that's for sure," he told her before squeezing her hand again and leaning over to peck her gently on the cheek. "I'll see you in there."

"See ya," she told him as he parted from her and they went their separate ways into the locker rooms where the world of changing into gym clothes began and girl talk ensued all around the four walls of the small locker room.

"And that's when I told her, no Clara, you're _wrong_ ," Rhonda chattered to Nadine who was pulling on her shirt and half-listening to her friend's tale, "Taylor Swift has _changed_ and _not_ for the good. I mean, did you _see_ what she wore on the runway last week? Dreadful."

Helga wandered to her locker on the far end of the room and opened it up to reveal her set of squashed up, dirty clothes and began to pull off her outfit in lieu of the gym one that she had to wear for the class she was about to enter. They usually had 15 minutes to get ready before class began, so she took her time getting ready and listened in on the chatter around herself to see if anyone was talking about anything interesting. Usually they weren't, but today was a different story.

"Did you hear that Mr. Linders is talking about having people read from their white books today?" A girl named Shanna told her friend beside her a few lockers down from Helga and her ears perked up at the sound of her teacher's name and she glanced over to the two as they continued their conversation.

"Really? Do you know how he chooses who goes? I haven't even written anything yet..." The friend told Shanna and she nodded her head towards her.

"An upperclassman told me that he draws names out of a fishbowl and chooses them that way. I guess he picks like 3 people a week to read." She explained to her friend. "But don't sweat it. If you haven't written anything, he just goes on to the next person for the first week, I guess. But after that, he'll dock you down points and stuff if you don't have anything to read."

Helga took note of this and swallowed hard. What if her name was chosen? She wanted to make a good impression on not only her teacher, but her fellow classmates. Sure, she was top writing dog back at PS118, but she hadn't proven herself yet in middle school. She wanted to make sure everyone knew who the best writer was which meant she had a lot of work to do to prove her point. She'd have to get on that.

But what about notes for Arnold? How would she manage to slip in time to write in her white book AND write notes to Arnold? If she didn't establish the note thing now, it would never work and she HAD to make it work because they hardly talked about REAL things anymore, DEEP things like emotions and all that junk. For some reason, this bothered Helga immensely and she knew that if they didn't get back to how they were, they were doomed. Middle school was proving harder than she had thought it would be and it was driving her nuts. Her thoughts were consumed of Arnold and how to keep him close to her the way they had been in sixth grade and over the summer. But what was she to do? The note-passing thing was all she had and she HAD to make it work.

Helga spent her next few periods toggling between writing a note for Arnold and writing in her white book for Mr. Linders class. She'd decided on writing a story, a deep story about that of none other than Medusa and the truth behind her tragic tale that many people didn't know. It was a story she had been thinking about a lot and never had the courage to actually write, but with the white book in possession, she decided it was high time to give it a chance and go for it, even if it sucked and lacked the depth she wanted. Meanwhile, her note to Arnold read as follows:

 _Hey Arnold,_

 _So here's your first note. I hope it finds you well. I'm just sitting in Algebra and you're a few seats away from me watching Mrs. Higgins talk the way she usually talks; with her leg up on someone's desk and the person inhabiting that desk feeling very, very uncomfortable._

 _I guess I should talk to you about why I really wanted to do this note-passing dealio. I guess I just feel like you've been... distant lately. Middle school is proving to be a little... harder than I thought it would be and I'm kind of stressing about everything involving us. And I know, I KNOW you'll just tell me, "Helga, stop freaking out, you're only going to mess things up with your overthinking," but I'm not just overthinking, I'm being realistic. This middle school thing is HARD. Toggling assignment after assignment and project after project is a nightmare and leaves hardly any free-time for the two of us to bond like we used to. I just miss us... that's all._

 _Criminy, that sounds so corny._

 _Anyway. I should get back to listening to what Mrs. Higgins has to say before she catches on to the fact that I'm not actually doing the assignment._

 _Yours,_

 _Helga_

She folded the note carefully, then slipped it into her shirt where her locket usually resigned and sighed, knowing that she'd let out her emotions as best as she could on the small sheet of paper. She just hoped that Arnold would let out some of his emotions too in his note to her.

* * *

 _Helga,_

 _Sitting in social class right now. We're watching a movie about slavery, it's a long series called 'Roots' and I'm sure you're watching it in your class too. I figured now was a good time to write you because nobody is paying any attention to what I'm doing and I could put my full attention to writing you and answering your note._

 _I understand your frustration when it comes to us not talking or spending time with each other like we used to. It's been hard, I definitely agree. Middle school has been tougher than either of us expected and it's been quite the experience so far, but I don't think it's anything we can't overcome together. And besides, we'll be stuck here for three years before high school and there's nothing we can do about it so we might as well find a way to combat it and find a way to spend time together and talk to each other which is why I really like this idea of passing notes to each other. It's a great way to keep in contact throughout the day in a personal way that we can't by just talking at lunch._

 _Just try to stay positive, Helga. I know it isn't your strong suit, but you're just going to have to trust me when I tell you that it will all be okay and that we can do this. Do you trust me?_

 _-Arnold_

Helga read through the note multiple times before English class started, then folded the note back up and put it back into her shirt. _I'd better think about a wardrobe change if I'm gonna keep up this note-passing thing,_ she told herself before turning her attention to her teacher who walked in the classroom with his big staff that he usually carried around, an extravagance that set him apart from the other teachers.

"Good morning class!" He greeted everyone with a smile before setting his staff against the wall and approaching the podium at the front of the room. "Today we will start out the day with fishbowl, something you'll get used to by the end of the semester."

The group of students turned to look at one another in question though Helga remained seated in place knowing exactly where this was headed based on the knowledge she'd gained that morning in the locker room during her eavesdropping session.

"Now I'm sure you're all wondering just what a 'fishbowl session' is, aren't you?" he asked everyone before pulling out the fishbowl in question filled with slips of paper and he shook it up before continuing. "Basically, those white books I gave you are the key to the fishbowl. What will happen is this fishbowl is filled with tiny slips of paper with each of your names on them. Once a week, on any day I choose, I'll pull three names out of this fishbowl and you'll read or share anything you desire from your white book to the class and I'll give you points for sharing. If you have nothing, you will lose points. For this first week though, I'll cut you a break and if you have nothing, just focus on getting something in your book for next week. Sound good?" He addressed the class and everyone nodded their heads, mildly frightened by the idea as Mr. Linders shook up the bowl once more and drew a name from it.

"To start things off, let's have Mr. Arnold Shortman show us what he's got." He said and Helga sighed, feeling bad for Arnold. _Tough break,_ she thought as he stood up, white book in hand and approached the front of the class.

"What have you got to share with us today, Arnold?" Mr. Linders pressed and Arnold showed the front of his book to the class.

"I haven't got anything written or drawn inside, but I've been working on the cover, is that okay?" He asked and Mr. Linders nodded his head.

"Sure, why not?" He said before gesturing that Arnold go on.

"Basically, I've been drawing a space scene on the cover of my book. Nothing too extravagant, but it's representative of where my brain usually daydreams. It starts at the bottom of the book where I have clouds and a blue sky and a plane, and then it goes up into space where I put stars and the moon and Saturn because it's my favorite planet." He explained and Helga sat back in her chair, impressed.

 _Dang,_ she thought to herself, _the kid's doing great for the first go around. I'll have to give him props in my next note._

"Well thank you for sharing with us today, Arnold. Ten points for Griffindor!" Mr. Linders shouted while jotting down the points in his book before pulling another name from the fishbowl.

"Next we have Artie Bringham. Artie?" He called, and Artie walked up to the front of the class to share a few four word stories he'd been working on, a hobby of his since he'd read a few online. We all listened and talked a bit about each one before he took his seat and Mr. Linders called the next name.

"Lila Sawyer," he called as Lila stood up nervously and walked to the front of the class, Helga sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. _Great._

Lila cleared her throat before opening her book and speaking softly. "I've written a poem. Nothing special, but just something that came to me that I thought worth writing down."

 _Oh criminy. I have to sit through some flowery poem about loving life? Somebody just put me out of my misery now,_ Helga thought as she waited for Lila to begin reading whatever she'd written.

"Go ahead, Lila. We're listening." Mr. Linders encouraged and Lila cleared her throat again before beginning her poem.

"Through daylight I think of you

At night time I think so too

Of where you might be

If only I could see

Through the den of life's mystery

and when you'll finally find me

but how long will I have to wait

until you finally alleviate

this pain that I harbor inside

all the while I hide

waiting for you to see me near

to see that I'm sitting, patiently right here."

Helga's jaw dropped, but not at the quality of the poem as to her, it was quite horrendous and nothing up to par with her own writing. No, it was the content of the poem that made Helga's jaw drop as she read between the lines and felt that she knew exactly what the poem was about, or rather, who.

Arnold. It HAD to be about Arnold. Who else would it be about? The longing, the lust, the desire for someone that wasn't hers. How could she be so blind?

Helga began writing ferociously in her white book, words pouring from her soul as she scribbled content down as quickly as she could while Mr. Linders continued talking ahead of her.

"That was wonderful. Thank you for sharing. Ten points to Ravenclaw!" He announced before setting the fishbowl down and walking back to the podium. "Now, after fishbowl is done, I always open the floor up to anyone else who wants to share. So, is there anyone else out there who wants to share today from your white book?"

Helga's hand shot straight up as she breathed heavily and Mr. Linders smiled her way while calling her out. "Miss Pataki, I see you are volunteering as tribute. Come on up and give it a whirl." He encouraged and she stalked her way up to the front of the class.

"Go on and-" But before Mr. Linders could continue his sentence, Helga began with her pointed poem directed straight to Lila who sat calmly in her desk.

"Your words may shatter

Your words may destroy

but keep in mind

you'll never get the boy

You may shine so brightly

that the world seems to spin for you

but no matter what you appear to be

I'll always see right through

So let the world love you

Soak in every little bit

but know in your big heart of hearts

that this, my friend, is it."

And with that, Helga stomped back to her seat leaving the class silent to take in her poem as Helga began to write her elusive note to Arnold, anger still flowing through her system as she wrote.

 _Arnold,_

 _Look, I am asking and I'm asking rather bluntly because that's just how I roll. Why on earth were you so mad that I switched teams? Was it because you were afraid I'd find out? Was it because you were afraid I'd discover the dirty truth? What was your deal anyway?_

 _You better be honest with me,_

 _Helga_

* * *

Arnold read Helga's note with confusion, but responded as honestly as he could, despite his complete befuddlement at what Helga had written him.

 _Helga,_

 _Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about when you say discovering the truth. There's nothing going on with me that you don't know. I've told you everything. You know everything about me. I've made my best efforts to show you that and if you can't see that... then you must be blind. I hope you don't take that the wrong way._

 _As for why I was mad you switched teams, I wasn't mad exactly, I was more just disappointed. I was disappointed that you didn't trust me or trust our relationship because you up and switched teams all to be in my classes but I see now that it was out of a place of love and I can't be angry at you for that. That's why I'm over it. I'd hoped that you would be too._

 _I really hope you're okay... your poem in English, well, frightened me a little. It was so angry. What was it about?_

 _-Arnold_

Helga frowned while reading the note and sat in her science class, fresh out of lunch with Arnold and fresh out of sitting quietly with him during the period where they should be talking the most. It seemed that her poem had disturbed him which only made her more nervous of what he was up to with her. Did he see it too? Did he see that Lila was hopelessly in love with him? Was Helga crazy or was she not right about what she'd heard in between the words of Lila's poem?

The bell rang, signaling for Helga to go to her next class, Wellness, which she shared with Arnold and Lila. She couldn't bare to think of seeing Lila again after the whole debacle of fourth period, but there was no getting out of it and she knew she had to do it and give Arnold her response to his note.

"Hey," She greeted him as she took her seat beside him in the classroom and he offered her a small smile.

"Hey Helga. How was Science?" He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Fine I guess. Got a note for ya," she said while slipping him the folded piece of paper and he took it from her and held it up with a thank you nod.

"I look forward to reading it." He said as the bell rang and the teacher walked to the front of the class as Arnold unraveled the note to read what Helga had written him.

 _Arnold,_

 _Science is boring as all heck. I hate science. Have I ever mentioned that? I suck at it, I don't understand it and my brain just doesn't compute it._

 _Anyway, sorry about freaking out at you in my last note. I was still reeling from english I guess. I think a certain someone's poem kind of got to me and that's why I wrote what I wrote. I can't tell you why because if you don't get it than it isn't worth bringing up. Maybe I'm crazy. I'm still trying to figure that out._

 _Anyway, I'm sorry I disappointed you. That really isn't what I was trying to do. I was just trying to see you more... it's so hard in this school. I feel like we're so close but so far away. Do you feel that too? Do you feel worlds away?_

 _Lost,_

 _Helga_

And that's how Helga felt; lost. She wasn't sure where she stood with Arnold anymore and she hoped that he'd have a response to her and fast. Maybe he felt worlds away from her too or maybe she was just imagining everything. Maybe she already had her answer and she just wasn't seeing it. Maybe. There were too many maybe's. And everything was meshing together into too many worries inside her already confused brain.

She'd have to go home and journal about it. If it was one thing Miles was right about, he was right about journaling and it helping one discover things about themselves. It was therapeutic and that was exactly what Helga needed. Especially after today.


	24. Motherly Advice

_So Arnold and I have tried this new note-passing deal,_ Helga wrote in her journal as soon as she made it home from school. _Basically, we go to class and do everything as normal, but during class we write each other about our thoughts or the day in general and give the notes to each other in the time between classes. It worked out well all day today... until LILA happened._

 _That's right, LILA. Stupid, perfect LILA and her perfectness that shines doth o'er my beloved's head. She's in love with him. Completely stricken so I'm afraid and I'll tell you how I know._

 _So there we were, sitting in english class about to do fishbowl, this whole routine that Linders has down where he picks three of us to read from out of our white books and gets graded in front of the whole class. And sure, Arnold got picked and his was great- he showed this expertly crafted abstract art of space that he'd drawn on his book –but Lila got chosen too... and she read a poem._

 _Now mind you, why ANYONE would want to write poetry in the same class I'm in is bewildering to me too, journal, but the fact that she shared it- and one so...so... BALLSY. I mean, the girl was practically up there pining for Arnold's heart the whole dang time! So naturally, what did I do but write a poem of my very own to share when Linders opened the floor._

 _So I shared, and my poem was OBVIOUSLY better, but that's not the point. I hope that she learned from my words that Arnold isn't going to go so willy nilly into her clutches. He's MINE. Not to say I own him, but he IS my boyfriend, isn't he? And that means that he isn't hers to claim even if it was in some lame flowery poem that could have been written by a six-year-old._

 _Anyway, so I had my fun, right? I told Lila off in front of the whole class and that means that I should be over it all, right? Well, wrong, of course. Helga G. Pataki can't let things go THAT easily. No, no, no, I decided to write Arnold an angry note finally asking him why he was so angry and practically accusing him of cheating on me point blank. Criminy, I was a mess to do that._

 _But Arnold, the perfect, sweet, chivalrous gentleman that he is, he read my note with such care and simply brushed off my pointed accusation and explained calmly that he was instead disappointed that I didn't trust him when it came to the switching teams thing. Which I get, I mean, I GUESS I'd be a little miffed if I knew that Arnold didn't trust me, but that's really not what it was all about. I just wanted to see him more... that's all. But I think he understands now. I hope he does at least._

 _Then we made up, all through notes of course, but I still don't feel right. I feel kind of... lost somehow. I know Arnold isn't cheating on me, I mean, if he was he'd have to be doing it expertly well considering I know everything there is to know about him. But rather, it's just that, UGH. It's LILA, alright? I can't help but picture that dumb kiss they shared and now, thanks to her poem, I know she isn't stopping her thinking about it either. And that really grinds my gears._

 _I should do a segment about things that grind my gears. Note to self._

 _Anyway, I'm just so frustrated that that even happened. Curse Lloyd and her stupid party! Curse her and her lame spin the bottle! Why did it have to be Lila, huh? It could have been ANYONE but her but it WAS her and now it's driving me insane. Every time I even SEE them together it drives me mad like it has control over me entirely._

 _I don't know. Maybe I'm being ridiculous even if she IS in love with the boy. Arnold loves ME, not her. And doesn't that mean I shouldn't be jealous and I should instead just be happy that I'm with him?_

 _I guess that's ONE way to look at it._

 _Helga G. Pataki_

Helga shut her journal and sighed, pulling her mattress up to wedge the book in between the bed and the bed-frame into its new cozy little home. She would have to return to this venture of writing later as she knew Arnold was expecting her for family dinner any minute now. Toying with the idea of skipping it altogether, Helga decided she wanted to go so she could see Arnold's parents and maybe talk to either of them and get their opinion on what she should do or think when it came to her continuing jealousy. Surely, they had to know a thing or two about jealousy in a relationship... didn't they?

* * *

Helga stood awkwardly washing dishes with Stella as Arnold and Miles chattered away in the dining room as they cleared the table of their silverware. She _wanted_ to say something, she really did, but she was too afraid Arnold might hear her innermost fears. She knew he probably figured how jealous she was, but she didn't want him to _know_ know. And she wasn't too keen on the idea of him hearing her talk to his mother about everything because she didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else about this sort of thing.

So Helga stood silently, washing the same spot over and over again on the clearly clean dish that she was holding as Stella eyed her curiously.

" _You're_ awfully quiet tonight," Stella mused as Helga shrugged her shoulders and pursed her lips trying to keep her mouth shut from her actual problems.

"Nothing worth saying," Helga finally spoke after a moment before sighing and continuing to wash the dish she was holding. Stella smirked while shaking her head.

Reaching a lone finger out to point at the dish Helga held firmly in her wet grip, Stella eyed the young girl in amusement and said, "You realize you've been scrubbing that plate for a good five minutes, don't you?"

Helga blinked rapidly to pull herself from her thoughts and glanced at the plate she had been incessantly scrubbing. "Oh, uh," she stuttered out, "I just uh, wanted to make sure it was...was..."

"Clean?" Stella finished for her and Helga turned to look at her love's mother while nodding her head almost sporadically.

"Yes! Yes. I just wanted to make sure it was clean. That's right. That totally makes sense. Obviously." Her words were disjointed from one another and at Helga's odd string of statements, Stella set down the plate she'd been working on. With a few wipes of her hands on a nearby towel, she walked over to sit down at the nearby table while simultaneously pulling out the chair beside her.

Motioning to the empty chair that was ready for Helga to sit upon, Stella gestured for her to approach. "Helga, why don't you sit down with me for a second."

Twisting her facial expression into one that both showed panic and shame, Helga set down her obviously clean plate and sponge then walked over to take a seat where Stella had motioned. Taking a shaky breath, Helga asked in a quiet voice, "Am I in trouble or something?" her voice then raised to a normal volume as she began to spew out useless information. "Look, if I'm in trouble for the plate thing because it might take off the design or something on it, I'll have you know that at _my_ house we strictly use paper plates. That is, unless Olga comes home which means my parents break out the good china and it isn't like they let me clean it so it isn't really my strong suit and-"

Stella mustered out a laugh which stopped Helga in her tracks. As the blonde girl watched Stella in confusion, she began to worry about what motives Arnold's mom had in the first place of the little chat they were about to have. Still in fear though that she had somehow offended Mrs. Shortman, she was all but relieved to see the woman shake her head slowly amid her soft chuckling.

"No, you're not in trouble," Stella assured her, and she took a calming breath to settle her nerves.

"Well _that's_ a relief," she said while leaning back into the wooden chair she sat at.

"I am concerned about you, though."

Helga's eyes widened for fear that Stella was about to confront her about the relationship she shared with her son but she tried to keep it cool. "Concerned? About me? Naaaaah, you don't have to be concerned about little ol' me. I'm great- peachy keen as some old folks might say. Life is great! Spectacular!" Once she was able to shut up, Helga silently scolded herself for the obnoxious response she'd given to Stella. If she only _suspected_ something to be wrong before, Helga was sure that she _knew_ something was up now.

With a raise of her eyebrow, Stella eyed Helga suspiciously. "And you _really_ expect me to believe that?"

Chewing on her lip in fear that she'd been found out, Helga nodded her head slowly before hesitantly speaking out a response. "Uh... yes...?"

"Welp," Stella sighed out while slapping her thighs and pushing herself to stand up, "I guess if you say everything is fine then everything is fine, right?"

"Right," the young woman answered definitively.

"Everything is going great and you and Arnold are just perfect, yes?" The oddly-shaped-headed boy's mother pushed and Helga paused for a moment before answering; a slight quiver in her voice.

"...yes..."

"So, between you and me, I should probably just leave you alone and keep all of my sage wisdom to myself because- like you said –you don't need any of it whatsoever," a smile tugged on the corners of Stella's lips as Helga loosened on her stance.

"Well, it isn't like-" she tried, but her surrogate mother was hot on the case and cut her off with haste.

"I mean, look at you, Helga," she went on, "hardly into your teens and already have life figured out. It's quite impressive, really."

Helga reached up to scratch absentmindedly at the back of her head. "I wouldn't say I have _everything_ figured out in life..."

"At the very least, it sure seems like you have the relationship aspect figured out which, to be honest, is one of the harder parts of being in middle school, wouldn't you agree?" Stella had taken steps towards the sink to go back to washing dishes but was peeking over her shoulder in an effort to gauge the blonde girl's physical response to her words.

Helga began to stutter out her next chosen words; the ferocity with which Arnold's mom was asking questions mixed with assumptions starting to rattle her. "I'm just... I'm not entirely sure I'm the best person to ask that-"

"Right, right," Stella agreed while drying off one of the plates that had already been washed and set to the side to dry, "it isn't like _you'd_ know anything about a relationship that was in despair. You're pretty lucky to not have to go through the typical hardships that your age bracket struggles through."

At that statement, Helga silenced herself for fear she would only lead Stella on to continue with her bizzare statements. _It's almost as if she knows something's up and is trying to wiggle it out of me or something,_ Helga thought. As she thought this, Stella set the plate she was drying with the other previously dried plates and wiped her hands on the towel she'd been sporting. With a small sigh, she then hung up the towel and turned around to face Helga once more.

"I guess I should relieve Arnold of his clean-up and let you two do whatever it is you do," Stella said with a knowing nod of her head and offered Helga a smile while turning to make her way out of the kitchen in search of Arnold.

Helga couldn't let her do that, though. She _knew_ she had to talk to her and get some actual good advice rather than ask her own mother or, god forbid, her _father_ who could care less about her relationship with Arnold than he cared about any other somewhat serious issue that plagued the blonde girl's life.

"Stella, wait!" Helga exclaimed just as she was about to leave the kitchen entirely.

At the sound of her name in the young girl's panicked tone, Stella stopped in her tracks with a grin though Helga couldn't see from where she still remained at the table. Slowly turning her head to look at her while still remaining frozen in her own footsteps, Stella pretended she had no idea why she was being called back to talk. "Yes, Helga? Is something wrong?"

The moment the mother met eyes with Helga however, she knew her reverse-psychology approach hadn't fooled the intelligent girl who sat still in the chair with crossed arms and a blank expression. At the sudden change in demeanor, Stella was caught by surprise but tried to keep her composure. Surely Helga would explain what she was thinking in that moment and it wouldn't take long.

"Yeah, something's wrong alright," was the response Stella received and she tried to act surprised to hear such a thing come out of the teenager's mouth.

"Well honey, what is it?" She was trying to give as much compassion as she could but Helga didn't seem receptive to such a technique.

"Don't _honey_ me, Stella," she replied with disdain, "you think I don't know what you're doing? You think I don't know you're trying to make me feel bad for not telling you what you know is wrong in my life and then walk away in an effort to get me to admit it? Hmm?"

It was Stella's turn to feel nervous at the sudden role reverse between to the women. "I uh, I just figured-"

Helga was already shaking her head at Stella's words. "Look, I know this kind of thing probably works on your son, but that's only because- let's face the facts here –Arnold is what I'd call a 'pathological goody.'"

"A pathological goody?" Stella repeated and Helga continued without a beat.

"A pathological goody, yes. Basically he _knows_ he wants advice but because he's always the one to dish it out, he doesn't exactly know how to ask it so he _pretends_ he has no problems and hopes someone else figures out what he's doing. My guess is that you've figured this out by now and so he knows he can just play that routine and you'll do your reverse-psychology bit which he'll eat out of the palm of his hand and soon be putty in your own."

Stella remained quiet as Helga spoke and once Helga had seemingly finished, she continued to hold her tongue. Taking this as some kind of cue to continue, Helga did just that.

Crossing her leg over the other as she sat, Helga took a breath before she went on without coaxing. "Obviously I'm not trying to be rude or anything, it's just that I've known the kid basically his entire life and he's pretty cut and dry when it comes to this kind of thing. I can only assume that you feel I need to talk about whatever it is Arnoldo told you which brings you to trying your methods in hopes that they'll work on me _too_."

"All I want to do is help, Helga," Stella's voice was soft and almost hurt which led Helga to believe that she'd spoken out of turn once again and hurt one of the only people in her life who seemed to genuinely care about her and what she was going through. Granted, Helga only really thought this was because she was dating Stella's son, but she seemed to care nonetheless.

With a sigh, Helga uncrossed her arms and let her hands fall limply onto her lap. "Right, I uh, I guess I'm still just not really used to the whole 'adults wanting to help me' thing quite yet."

"It's alright," the older woman told her warmly. "You're just being a teenager and I'm just..." she let out a breath and looked over at the empty chair that stood just beside her son's girlfriend. Stepping toward it, she promptly sat down and spoke just above a whisper. "I guess I'm still just trying to figure out how to be a good mom."

"Oh c'mon, Stella. Get real, would you?" a sarcastic voice emitted from Helga who was shocked at such a statement, "You're like, the best mom that a kid could _ask_ for."

This made Stella chuckle sadly and in clear disbelief at what had been said. "You don't have to say that, Helga-"

"I'm not just saying that, okay?" she interrupted the self-conscious mother, "Arnold's never been the luckiest kid in the universe but when it comes to parents he hit the jackpot."

"We missed so much of his life though," Stella went on as though the words were spilling out of her all at once. "It all feels like I'm just struggling to catch up."

"But you _will_ , you know," Helga was quick to add. "You know as well as I do that you and Miles will catch up so fast and it will be as if you were always here in the first place."

A small smile grew on Stella's face and she reached out to squeeze the wise-beyond-her-years 7th grader's shoulder in appreciation. "Thank you, Helga. And just as I know you and Arnold will be okay, deep down you know it too."

With a widening of her eyes, Helga stared incredulously at the woman she'd grown to know so well. "Wait- what? Arnold, he-he _told_ you? What did he _tell_ you?" The words came out in haste from the girl's mouth as if the faster they were spoken, the quicker she'd get an answer.

Stella merely chuckled while offering a minute shake of her head. " As I'm sure you already know, I can't just tell you what he said but... I knew something was up between the two of you."

Helga frowned and looked down at her hands which remained sitting on her lap. "It's all my fault, honestly," she admitted softly as though the words carried all of her shame themselves. "I just get so... _jealous,_ you know? It's like-like... like any time that I see him with that stupid _Li_ la or any other girl that threatens me for whatever reason, my mind goes into overdrive and I start doing things I probably wouldn't normally do if I wasn't so...so..."

"So self-conscious?" Stella tried, but the young girl simply shook her head before speaking out the true answer.

"Afraid," she admitted at long last before elaborating. "I don't know, it's just that I feel like I've waited _centuries_ for Arnold to admit he had feelings for me and now that he has, I'm freaked out that he'll take them all back or something and leave me feeling like a complete idiot for ever believing I had a chance to be with him."

"You realize that you're both hardly even teenagers yet, right?" The words had a hint of humor to them but Helga didn't feel like laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, _I know_. But I _also_ know that there isn't anyone else in the world for me beside Arnold. I've known that since I was practically an infant, okay?" Her words had a defensive quality to them but Stella brushed off the tone entirely.

"Oh, Helga," the mother said warmly while smiling in the blonde preteen's direction, "I get that these feelings are really intense right now. At your age, hormones run wild and can make you think in either black or white instead of all the other shades in the rainbow. It's normal, you know."

Helga shot Stella a glare while narrowing her eyes. "What are you getting at?"

"My point is that you're still young and you'll meet countless other people that might make you feel that way beside Arnold." Her words were empathetic as she spoke; each word hitting Helga's eardrums like a sharpened knife as the sentiment hurt more than gave the girl any sense of relief. "I'm not saying you may not end up with him ultimately, but you need to give yourself a chance to explore and accept the other feelings you'll encounter in your life."

"But don't you get it?" Helga shot back, her words full of fire and acidity. "I don't _want_ to feel those feelings towards anyone else. I _like_ feeling how I feel right now."

"You like being paranoid and accusatory? You enjoy feeling stressed about where your future will end up in regards to your current feelings and relationship?" The question didn't require an answer from Helga and while she felt like screaming, she simply remained silent and kept her eyes hot on Stella who was giving her the definition of 'tough love.'

After a moment devoid of words between the two women, Helga chose to speak once more, however this time there was a sense of defeat behind her voice. "So what should I do then?" It was a question made in earnest with her eyes full of hope that the older woman who sat beside her would have all of the answers Helga was seeking.

Stella took her hands in her own and held them tightly. "Just feel," she advised without breaking eye contact. "Ride the emotions you feel and investigate why you feel them in the first place. All you can do at your age is enjoy the time you have being so young. Explore the world and explore relationships of all varieties. You have to know that one day everything will work out."

"But I _don't_ know that it will all work out," Helga muttered but Stella wasn't concerned in the slightest at her admittance.

"And that's _okay_ ," she encouraged. "What _isn't_ okay is committing so completely to something like a serious relationship at your age. Sure, date and have fun and be 'in love,' but at the end of the day know that this stuff and these feelings aren't permanent- at least not in the way you've been treating them."

"Is that even _possible_? To treat my emotions like they're fleeting and everything will change one day? That kinda makes me feel like nothing really matters and what's the point in trying." Her statement was blunt and took Stella by surprise but she took a breath to steady herself and tried to offer some kind of solace in how Helga was feeling.

Letting go of her hands, Stella sighed and broke eye contact for a moment before looking back at the confused girl ahead of her. "Can I tell you a story?" she asked softly and Helga nodded her head slowly; completely unsure as to where she was headed with this.

"When I was your age, I lived in a very small town," Stella explained. "In that town there was a boy that I had very strong feelings for and in my mind I had convinced myself that what we shared, or rather, what _I felt_ that I shared with him was the realest and truest love there ever was. To me, we were destined to be together until the end of time and for a while, we even 'dated' if you could call what we did together dating."

"What does that even mean?"

Stella chuckled, "it means that dating at that age is almost frivolous," she said while recalling her childhood memories. "The fights were pointless and the dates were silly. We believed we were dealing with tough issues a serious couple fought over but it was hardly the half of it. Once you grow up and have a serious committed relationship, you deal with the _actual_ hard problems."

"Like what? Jealousy? Because I already _have_ that," Helga was unconvinced and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Sure, at the beginning of most relationships there is an element of jealousy but that isn't the kind of problems that I meant. I'm talking about bills and arguments about how to raise a child or if you even _want_ children. Discussions on where to live and how to live with one another." Helga watched Stella curiously as the woman expressed the adult troubles the preteen had no experience with. "And sure, there are silly fights that last only a few minutes- things like who should have done the dishes or the laundry. Things like what to watch that night or do. Sometimes it's even about misplacing something and blaming the other person for it's absence."

" _That's_ what an adult relationship is like? Criminy, that sounds boring."

A laugh escaped Stella's lips at her bold observance. "It can be, but through all of that it has it's rewards."

Helga seemed skeptical of this and raised a brow at the statement. "Rewards? Like what?"

This made Stella think for a moment of the perfect answer. "One day, in this magical adult relationship you'll be invested in, you'll look back at other dating experiences you've had and you'll have the sudden realization that you're happier than you've ever been." A nostalgic smile spread across the woman's lips as she continued. "You'll think back to five years, ten years or even twenty years ago and know that while you'd had an inkling to the kind of happiness your future self would experience, it is shaped entirely differently from what you'd once imagined. And _in_ that realization, you'll know that everything you've gone through to get to that moment was worth it... and that you wouldn't want it any other way."

After a few moments without a single word between the two, Helga spoke up once more. "Is this some kind of weird tactic at getting me to break up with your son or something?" The question almost shocked Stella. "Like, that's awesome and I get that you're trying to give me some kind of 'it get's better' speech here, and I really appreciate it, but is that what's happening here? You're trying to say I should break up with Arnold and just... live my life?"

"That is, in no way, what I'm trying to suggest," Stella answered. "In fact, I'd hope that you know I love that Arnold has someone besides his family who cares so much for him. All I'm trying to tell you is that I don't want you to get hung up on labels or the concept of a relationship. It may change as time goes on and you may go through things that you ordinarily wouldn't want to experience but in the end, it will lead you down the path you need to go down so you can reach that point where you see it was all worth it. It _will_ come full circle- _that_ I can promise."

Stella's words hung in the air and repeated themselves to Helga as her and Arnold spent some time together before she ultimately went back to her home and settled in for bed. As she tried to sleep, she focused on all that Stella had told her and tried to imagine this life she had spoke so fondly of for the young girl. Trying with all her might, Helga attempted to picture this life and what she wanted it to look like.

However, no matter what she did or which scenario she landed on, it only ever ended with one person: the footballhead she'd loved ever since that rainy day outside of the Urban Tots building all those years ago. And as she fell asleep with images of what she hoped would be their eventual future dancing around in her head, Helga's subconscious made a decision Stella surely wouldn't approve of.

She'd do whatever it took not to lose Arnold, for she was sure of the future they would one day share together. Arnold may not be sure of it, but Helga was and she wasn't about to let that fall between the spaces of her fingers like sand at the beach. Nobody would come between them, not Lila- not anyone, and Helga was determined to make sure of that if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

 ** _Hello All! Polkahotness is BACK and I'm back with a vengeance! I will start out here by apologizing for the crazy long hiatus of like an entire year almost on the dot when it comes to this story, BUT- I have a much clearer picture of what I want this story to become and I have spent a long time figuring out the ins and outs of the future plots to come. This story is going to be a long journey complete with what I hope will be an account of Arnold and Helga's life together as they grow up and become adults. So stay tuned, be sure to favorite and follow so you never miss an update, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review so I know what you think of what I've been writing!_**

 ** _ALSO: Check out the new and improved cover for this story which was done by the ever wonderful, crazy talented, super fantastical Jebpinkartsy (previously jebbiepinkart on tumblr which is where I first saw their amazing art)! This cover is everything I've ever wanted and a perfect representation of this story- I love it. I just figured that since this fic is coming off of hiatus after like forever, it deserved a face-lift and something new to celebrate it's return!_**

 _ **Anyway, favorite, follow, review and MOST IMPORTANTLY, enjoy! This story isn't going anywhere anytime soon and I can't WAIT to see you at the next chapter!**_

 _ **xo**_

 _ **Polkahotness**_

 _ **(PS, i promise not all of the A/N's from here on out will be this long)**_


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